#biscuit.collabs

Bass guitarist of The Ballads Ninjas, Obito Uchiha was loved by most, hated by many and craved by everyone. His looks were to literally die for—a few fans occasionally fainted during the band’s concerts when Obito flashed his perfect set of teeth to the crowd. He usually didn’t accompany the lead singer, but true fans knew that his voice was divine. The only time Obito was the singer was when “The Leaf Village State of Mind” was next up in their performance. He had written that song all by himself in secret, the entire band fell in love with it and even the lead singer admitted the lyrics simply didn’t sound as good as when Obito sang them.

There you were, in the front row, like you’ve always been ever since the band had assembled. You adored their songs, their shows, the content they kept putting online, but out of it all, you adored Obito. When you realised how many things you knew about that boy, you tagged yourself as a stalker. You thought you were obsessed with him, like one of those desperate fans. But it was on that day when Obito replied to one of your comments under an Instagram post that you surprised yourself by how casually you reacted.

The post was on the band’s official page, yet Obito replied to you from his personal account. You exchanged a few comments in a thread but you only felt butterflies when he replied with “I wish all our fans would be as chill as this girlie” with a finger pointing up emoji and a sparkling heart next to it.

In a momentary impulse, you asked to follow his personal account. When he didn’t accept it, you thought he was just another stuck-up, full of himself celebrity. Next morning you woke up to a request to follow from a certain Obito. It wasn’t the account he had replied to you from, and after you checked it, you debated whether it was legit. He only had 5 followers, two posts with vague photos of some male hands and a bass guitar and commercial pages at “Following”. You accepted the request out of curiosity. He didn’t double tap any of your pictures, nor replied to your stories, so you found it peculiar. SInce you were more ballsy than most girls, you sent a message to the account.

“Tell me three things only the OG fans know about you, Obito.”

The “seen” sign appeared instantly, but you received a response a few minutes later. You bit your bottom lip reading the words and quickly became aware of your increasing pulse when you realised you were actually talking to the real Obito Uchiha.

“1. I saved a puppy from in front of a car in highschool. Only talked about it once in a instalive at 3 am with a maximum dozen of participants. 2. I hate chilli peppers and eating one by mistake in public made me tear up in front of cameras. 3. I used the word “girlie” only once in my life. With you.”

Once you got your confirmation, you double tapped the message but didn’t text him more. He was a celebrity after all, maybe he was just messing around by following random people to give them empty hopes. Or maybe you were wrong. However, you continued to follow their content, to go to their concerts etc. etc. you and only you knowing Obito was at a text distance away. All their other fans standing next to you were highly inferior to you.

“If I was your Rock Bass” followed by “The Leaf Village State of Mind” always succeeded in putting you in the best mood possible. Shisui, the lead singer, would touch your heart with the love song, making you and a bunch of other girls sway around hugging yourselves. And then, oh, then followed Obito who sang about a life free of problems and concerns in far away land, a simpler, happier life, where no one would fear the future. You wanted to live in that world, with him if possible.

When the song ended, Obito winked at the mesmerised crowd and since you were right by the stage, his eyes fell on you. In a brief moment, you noticed his brows rising, as if he recognised you, so you smiled in return. The middle performance break followed right after that song, and when you saw Obito looking back into the crowd as the band left the scene, you just had to find a way backstage. In all honesty, you always bought tickets with backstage access, but the length you felt like going to that day was far beyond the things permitted by that ticket.

Minutes later, with a foreign hat on your head, hiding away your hair, and with a jacket over your top, you walked around the corridors behind the scene. The yellow message on your borrowed jacket spoke loud enough to by-passers, granting you undisputed passage. You walked casually down the hallway, with a certainty in your eyes that could not be questioned, but once you found yourself in front of the door saying “Bass guitar” your knees felt weak.

No one saw you going in. That was a good thing. You made sure to silently lock the door behind you in order not to scare the man inside. He had talked from somewhere deeper into the room, asked who came inside, but only silence returned to him. Confused by the situation, Obito came forth himself and was shocked to see you disguised in the staff.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, lowering the water bottle from his lips.

“I had to meet you in person,” you said, taking off the ugly baseball-type hat.

“I’m not going to lie, I’m surprised. You’re not the first one who tried to reach my cabin, but you’re the first one to have succeeded.”

“Oh, why thank you,” you cooed.

“So what is it that you want? An autograph? A selfie? Some unique and signed merch?”

Obito seemed used to that type of behaviour and it felt weird. You used to think of yourself as someone special. You liked to think that you were the one to truly and honestly love Obito Uchiha. You didn’t want to be like all the other people and, what was more important, you wanted to show him that.

“That’s trivial. What I want is more important than that,” you admitted.

“Oh, really?” He asked in a sarcastic tone, reclining against the vanity mirror close by. “And what would that be? Do you want to blow me or something?”

“What?! No,” you rejected the idea, frantically shaking your head. “I want a hug from you.”

Obito watched you completely dumbfounded for a few seconds. He received countless dms, thirst tweets, emails, letters, calls from girls who wanted to kiss him, be used by him in any way he wanted, carry his babies, swallow his cum, let him walk all over them and a whole other bunch of nastier and dirtier things, but he had never been asked for a hug. He shivered at the idea of something as gentle and beautiful as a hug. The young celebrity placed his bottle on the edge of that pretty desk and took a step towards you.

“That won’t hurt anyone. Unless you have a weapon and will kill me.”

“Kill you? I love you, why would I want to harm you?” You were quick to retort.

But just as quickly you walked into Obito’s open arms, crossing yours around his waist and sinking your face into his chest. You were more beautiful than he remembered from all the posts and stories he had seen on your profile. Obito smiled, holding you in the hug and leaning his cheek on the top of your head. You enjoyed the way his body felt under your touch—you knew he was hot and beefy, you had seen it both live and in all the photos, but feeling those muscles really gave you the full experience.

“I like this, you know?” Obito said, swaying your body to the sides a bit. “I might not let you go too soon.”

Obito was joking, of course, he wouldn’t force anyone into anything, but deep down he really wished you wouldn’t want to leave the hug either.

“Then don’t let me go,” you mumbled, face squished on his pectorals.

The hug lasted for long, it became warm and more intimate by the second, even though none of you two moved in any way. You could hear his breaths and feel his heart beats propagating through your own chest and you couldn’t suppress your smile.

“Thank you,” you whispered, lifting your head to look at Obito.

“Thank you as well,” Obito replied, looking down at you with a soft look on his face.

Truth be told, he felt very good in those moments. Obito couldn’t remember the last time he felt that good without anything sexual being included. Everyone wanted to have fun with him. He had numerous girls come to him out of their own free will, please him in any way he wanted to, never really asking anything in return from him. But you, you were so different, so warm and nice and pure. He just loved holding you in his arms like you were made out of porcelain. Obito smiled at you again, kept silent only because he wasn’t sure what was best to say in such a delicate moment, but when you started laughing, he blushed.

“Come on, you’re not seriously that soft, are you?” You teased him, pulling at the strings of the hoodie he was wearing.

Obito didn’t reply anything; he felt like he had been caught red-handed, so he just looked away. There was something about you that screamed power; he wasn’t afraid of you, he just felt like if you asked something, he wouldn’t be able to deny it. Unfortunately for him—or fortunately?—you caught the sense of that easily and made good use of it.

“What is it? Did I make the Obito Uchiha shy? Hm?” You asked, brushing the tip of your nose under his chin.

“No…” He lied, nevertheless unable to part from your proximity.

“You sure? ‘Cause you look quite tense to me,” you continued, trailing your fingertips up and down his chest.

“I can tell you what’s really tense,” Obito retorted, trying to regain his dominant stance through a dirty implication.

“I can handle that if that’s what you want,” you continued in the same tone, lowering one of your hands from his hips to the front side of his pants. “But I didn’t come for this, though,” you added and pulled away from the hug.

For a moment, even though he didn’t want to believe that you faked the earlier interaction and sex was the real reason you came to him, Obito felt disappointed. His body wouldn’t protest if it were for the two of you to fuck, but he somehow liked the hug more. When you ripped yourself from the hug, Obito’s first reaction was to catch and pull you back.

“Don’t go,” he said, rubbing a thumb to your cheek.

The way he jerked you back scared you. You were suddenly not sure anymore whether you knew the real Obito or not. After all, you had never met him in person and everyone could fake their identity and personality when online, right? But Obito turned out to be so gentle to you. He admired the colour and shape of your eyes, he brushed a rebel hair strand away from your forehead, smiled when the pad of his finger swiped over your lips.

“I would like to kiss you. Would you let me do it?” Obito asked, with a palm on your cheek and the other pressing on your middle back.

If you were an anime character, your eyes would glimmer and tremble from the intense emotions speeding through you. You’d see faint cartoonish hearts float around Obito’s head and his blush would appear as short parallel red lines on his cheeks. The silly thought made you giggle and look down, which made Obito seek your eyes again, lowering his face.

“Yes, you can kiss me, Obito,” you said, locking eyes with him.

Faster than a hummingbird’s flight, Obito pressed his lips to yours. You circled his neck with your arms and stood on your toes. He encased your middle and upper body with his arms, glueing himself to you. The kiss started off slow, lips getting accustomed to each other’s taste, tongues remaining shy to meet, and breaths mingling. However, once you became familiar with each other’s bodies, the intimacy changed the repertoire.

You clawed at the man’s shoulders, wrinkling his hoodie. He hesitated to advance at first, but as your breaths became heavier, Obito lowered his palms to your ass cheeks. He squeezed them, enjoying the way your plush filled his hands and wished there was no clothing in between. A few seconds into that heat and Obito broke the kiss. He didn’t want to make a wrong call or overstep any lines.

“Why did you stop?” You asked, pouting.

“Well, a kiss is a kiss, I didn’t want it to escalate.”

“Do you want it to escalate?”

“I… I do but…”

“Kiss me. Now,” you said in a serious tone.

Your words didn’t sound like any other he had heard. They weren’t “Obi, I want to kiss you so badly”, like other fans whined, but a command to kiss you. A new sensation stirred in Obito and after a short tilt of his head to the right, he resumed the kiss. You hummed in the kiss and pulled at his body. You surprised Obito when you lifted your leg up but he complied with the suggestion and grabbed you under the thigh.

“Good boy,” you mumbled between his lips. “Now lift me up somewhere and prove to me that big dick energy.”

Needless to say, your words got Obito rock hard. No one had ever talked to him like that but he discovered in an instant how much he loved it and how mad it drove him. He did as asked and you found yourself on top of the vanity mirror behind you. The objects on it clattered when he placed you there and you reached to catch them by instinct, but Obito caught your hands and crossed them on his nape.

“Fuck those, focus on me, please,” he requested, catching your mouth in yet another heated kiss.

“Fuck me, not those,” you joked, spreading your legs wider apart.

At this point, Obito realised you had him subdued. He was ready to do everything you asked of it, down to the smallest detail. The speed with which he untied his pants while rummaging for a condom in the drawer at the same time made you giggle. You got off the table to remove your clothes as well—all while wishing you had worn a skirt instead, maybe next time? Before you knew it, Obito turned you around, and bent you over the table until your breath could fog the mirror. You silenced your moan when he entered you and then had to hold onto the table edge to withstand the power of his thrusts.

You arched your back when he gripped your love handles; you stuck your face to the mirror when he bent over you to kiss behind your ear and the side of your neck; you tried to close your legs when his fingers found your clit and started to abuse it. Obito was dedicated to giving you the best sex of your life and the way your body reacted to all his touches had him drunk in love with you.

“I want to see you,” you demanded, reaching a hand behind to pull at his hair.

With no hesitation, Obito pulled out and turned you around. The table was cold under your thighs, but you didn’t get to feel too much of it because Obito dragged your body close to the edge. He looked straight into your eyes when he pushed back inside and the way your jaw dropped open at the new angle filled him with pride.

He fucked into you with dedication, held you close to him, making sure you wouldn’t fall, slip or hurt in any way. You devoured Obito’s lips in one feverish kiss after another, clung onto his shoulders in your desperation to rub against him. It was the first time Obito felt pleased by pleasing someone else and he showed it to you. Your moans and mewls passed through your lips’ barrier and you slapped a palm to your mouth. The last thing you wanted was to get found out and kicked out by guards, even though you thought that maybe Obito wouldn’t allow such a thing.

Obito had to return to the stage soon so, in order to make sure he wouldn't be late but wouldn’t let any business unfinished, he whispered in your ear words you had only dreamed of hearing from him:

“Please help me cum. Play with yourself.”

He had been submissive to you since the moment you entered his cabin, so it wouldn’t change much if you listened to him as well. Two long manicured fingers found your favourite place on your body and you were quick to bring yourself to the finish line. Switching from looking at your slick-smeared fingertips to your facial expressions, Obito gave his final pumps. He came short after you, huffing at the way you milked him dry even while overstimulated.

A few moments later, as you both tried to regain your normal breathing rhythm, someone knocked on the door. Obito snapped his head to the side but then looked at you with a smirk.

“Did you lock the door?”

“Of course I did. I didn’t want anything to bother our hug.”

Obito chuckled a bit at your innocent explanation, then helped you get down from the vanity mirror table. Napkins, hair brushes and clothes fixing later you fixed your disguise and headed to the door. Obito joined you, and right before you opened it, he placed a kiss on your nape.

“Don’t leave at the end of the concert, ok? I’d like to take you to dinner.”

You bit your tongue as you unlocked the door, happy that he was the one who wanted to spend time with you now, and led him down the corridor. You weren’t going to respond to him, but you sure hell were going to look for him after the concert. It just felt nice to keep him hooked on.

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Taglist: @ahobaka-trash @obitohno @bontensbabygirl

The cold February wind moved the frozen tree leaves in a lazy manner. Unbothered by the cold in the slightest, Obito stood in the middle of the alley going to the Ninja Academy. The tip of his nose was painted in red, just like his ears, however he spared his hands by hiding them in the coat pockets. Memories flooded his mind as he took in the image of that familiar bench. He had shouted his name many times in the courtyard of the Academy, had made countless threats and promises alike when he was just a silly little boy and to what end? Obito scoffed at himself and laughed briefly as he took a seat. He knew he was supposed to be somewhere else, but there was still time, there was no rush. Life went on the way it had to, despite all his struggles or wishes. Everything he wished and worked his ass off for fulfilled one way or another, so he was allowed to take a rest.

Obito grew up into a way better version of himself. He was a beautiful, smart and strong young man, radical when required but soft and considerate in more delicate matters. He made the right decisions quickly and made sure that whenever he was responsible for something, nothing bad could happen. Obito’s life turned out to be simple and joyful. He might have not reached his ultimate goal, to become Hokage—not yet at least, who knows—but Obito was happy with the life he was living.

Despite acquiring new skills and growing as a person, the little boy in his soul remained the same. Clumsy, fragile, kind and… sleepy. It might’ve been the magic of the place, or the mental comfort that bench brought him, or he was simply tired after his latest missions and home life, so after making the small mistake of “resting his eyes for a second” Obito had fallen asleep. A gentle shake of his shoulder pulled him from the sweet dream he was having, but when his eyes fell on the person who woke him up, Obito’s smile reached up to his ears.

“Is this spot free?” Rin asked.

“Of course,” he answered, recognizing the deja-vu from their genin days.

The girl sat next to Obito, leaving a small place between them, and placed her hands on her knees. She looked at him from the corner of her eyes, then smiled, figuring out that Obito had gone down the memory lane.

“You should look more cheerful, it’s your birthday.”

Obito smiled at that and returned the gentle look he himself received. Unlike the first time that scene unfolded, he wasn’t a blushing, stuttering mess, his hands weren’t sweating and he didn’t feel like he had to prove himself in front of Rin. It wasn’t like she had ever asked him to prove anything, however, Obito did it. He proved himself worthy of everything, he proved her the love he nurtured for her.

“I know, it’s just cold. My face froze like this,” he joked, a smile threatening to blow up his pretence.

“Riiiight, were you reminiscing?”

“Something like that, yes. I happened to pass by and I got nostalgic. Life was so different when we were children.”

“Do you miss it?” Rin asked, reclining on the back rest.

“No. I was weak back then. I had unachievable dreams, high expectations and a very low self-esteem.”

“I’m glad you don’t see yourself like that anymore, Obi.”

“Yeah, it took me a while, but I’m better now. And I have to thank you for that,” he said, offering Rin a wider smile.

“You don’t have to thank me for anything,” she denied, shaking her head slowly. “The only thing I did was to believe in you and to watch you, like I promised I would.”

“You did much more than that, my love,” Obito corrected her.

He closed the distance between their bodies and grabbed Rin’s small hand in his. He kissed her knuckles and played with the thin ring on her finger. He saw nothing else but love in the girl’s eyes when he met them again and he couldn’t hold back from placing a kiss on her lips.

“You stayed by my side and that changed everything for me. If I had lost you, I might’ve just as well turned into a villain and burned down the whole world.”

“Don’t be silly. You’re too kind hearted to do that,” Rin contradicted him while giggling.

“You don’t think I would burn the entire world if something bad were to happen to you?” He asked, now in a serious tone. “Rin, I would.”

The strange declaration of love he had just made gave Rin a shiver up her spine. She snuggled into him and placed her hand right on top of his heart. They sat in silence for a while. Rin weighed the words she wanted to speak and Obito mustered himself for saying such things and worrying Rin. He brushed his hand over her short hair and placed a few kisses on the top of her head. Just as he got himself ready to apologise, Rin moved from his embrace and stared him dead in the eye.

“If something bad ever happens to me, you have to promise me that you will remain good and you will take care of them.”

Obito frowned hearing Rin talk like that. He caressed her cheeks and maintained the eye contact as he tried to understand what she was talking about, but when every explanation proved wrong, he asked:

“What are you talking about? Your parents? Kakashi? Take care of who?”

Rin giggled at that and shifted to her initial position on the bench. She scratched the side of her face nervously and avoided Obito’s gaze, but eventually she couldn’t hide it from him.

“I wanted to tell you tonight, after the party, when we returned home, but you scared me earlier and…”

“Tell me what? Rin, you’re the one scaring me right now. Are you alright?”

“I am more than alright, Obi. I’m with you. I love you so much. You’re an amazing man and husband and I know that you’re good and that your love is so strong I could count on you for anything.”

“Of course you can! I love you too, Rin. I have always had. But please tell me what’s going on.”

By now, all sorts of dark thoughts had invaded Obito’s mind. He was imagining the worst things possible and was ready to come up with a plan to solve all problems of the world if that was what Rin needed. Coming from a clan who had faced mostly adversities no matter the era, Obito put the bad outcomes first at all times. Not for a second he imagined something so beautiful was coming to him. When Rin caught his face between her palms, Obito braced himself for the worst thing possible, only to be left dumbfounded when Rin said she wanted to give him his gift earlier.

The little package was skillfully wrapped and it didn’t give any hint on the content. Obito turned it on all sides, but then proceeded to open it. The sound of ripping paper echoed in his head, now entirely empty. Poor young man was so confused, and the fact that Rin was blushing and smiling didn’t help him at all.

Nonetheless, once the wrapping paper was entirely removed, little dew drops formed in the corner of Obito’s eyes. He held the pacifier in one palm and covered his mouth with the other. He stared at the tiny orange object and allowed the happiness to spread through his whole body. His silence concerned Rin, though, so she leaned her head on his shoulder and hugged his arm, just a bit afraid that what she assumed as good news might not be seen as good by Obito.

“I found out recently, I don’t even know what it is…”

His wife’s voice brought him back to the present and Obito hugged her tight. He was already imagining himself holding a tiny baby in his arms and taking turns with Rin at night if the baby woke up.

“You make me happier and happier every day of my life, Rin. I couldn't care less whether it’s going to be a boy or a girl. It’s ours and that’s all that matters to me.”

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Obito — Tobi — had gone over the Infinite Tsukuyomi plan a dozen times. Everything was perfect down to seconds, so the thing that was happening could not be real. He believed he had been caught in someone’s genjutsu, but whose? Who was that strong to trap him? Outside him and Madara, whom was the mastermind behind all of that, anyway, all the Uchihas were dead. He knew for sure that poor kid Sasuke hadn’t reached that level of Sharingan mastering. Nonetheless, the plan was going sideways right in front of his eyes.

The Zetsu army seemed to keep most of the opponents at a fair distance from him, so Obito, in his new Jinchuuriki form, should’ve been able to act as seed for the God Tree. Nothing was happening, though. Nothing good for his cause, in any case. Obito had been warned that Juubi would require immense power from its host but despite having polished his abilities and physique, Obito struggled to control it.

When he changed his body, everyone on the battlefield felt mortified. Most of your comrades thought the war had already been lost. A few tried to desert but the more conscious shinobis stopped them. Your anger and concern fused together, not leaving much room for fear, so you kept going further and further, with no other goal in mind than to save Obito.

You had fallen in love with that messy-hair, fragile-eyed Uchiha boy since the first years at the Ninja Academy. Of course, you didn’t have the guts to talk to him. Weird and extremely cheerful as he was, being in Obito’s presence made you feel nervous. He was more skilled than you, more likeable, and more outgoing. He would’ve never looked at you anyway, you thought.

Some time later, after you got assigned to a team that did not contain Obito, you continued to nurture the feelings you had for the boy. Years passed, and he was still not aware of them, though, so your interaction reduced to minimum, or below. On a few occasions, your team had been paired with his, thus you got to spend time together on those missions. Now older, you had somewhat more courage to talk to him freely, especially after you noticed how fast he got comfortable around you.

One day, as you were returning to the village, you braced yourself to walk up to him and ask him out on a date. His teammates made fun of his instant blush and stutter, but Obito accepted your invitation. One date turned into a series of dates, until the day you finally confessed your feelings. Unfortunately, your words scared Obito at the moment, and he grew a bit colder to you. You blamed it on yourself for rushing things, for believing your relationship could evolve, so in order to avoid the awkwardness, you started avoiding Obito. 

On the day you learned that Kakashi was the only jounin from team 10 to return from a mission, your heart broke into a thousand pieces. You picked those pieces up after a while of dwelling in your sorrow, a good time of mourning both Obito and the feelings you had dared to confess that now seemed lost and unreciprocated forever.

For the first time—and last, as you hoped—on a world-scale battlefield, you fixed your eyes on the man at the top of the hill, who was none other than Obito Uchiha, the boy you had been in love with even after his supposed death. When you heard who was responsible for all the damage Akatsuki had done, who was responsible for the Fourth Shinobi War, who was the man behind the swirl mask, your barely stitched heart broke into pieces once again.

Had he framed his death? But what for? Had he survived by sacrificing someone else and had been too ashamed to return to the village? Had he really died and that was just a ghost? Or was it all a lie? Was he under some devil’s control? Obito’s war declaration and the reasons he stated out loud did not fit the man you used to know. Even though you knew you had to kill him or at least restrain him somehow, you had to know the truth.

Against his self-control, once Juubi started to feed on Obito’s chakra, the man felt weaker. He accused the earlier battles he had fought for draining his power, but truth was he might’ve not been the best vessel for the Tailed Beast. His stamina dropped and he fell to his knees, the shortage of breath turning his vision blurry. The half of his body that was still his own and not some low-quality Zetsu clay, was taken over by a burning sensation. The chakra left his body along with the blood in his veins, turning him colder and colder, until he lost most of his senses. Juubi required much more than Obito could provide, so the beast drew from the other available resources.

“Help… me…” Obito managed to mouth as he saw you. The image had a red hue for him. Maybe because of all the war horrors he created, maybe from the blood bubbling up behind his eyes or maybe his Sharingan activated to somehow save him.

You had overcome all obstacles and made your way to him despite the odds. Some of your teammates shielded your back, proud of your drive to finish off the enemy, but they were taken aback once they witnessed how you dropped to your knees and hugged the enemy to your chest.

“What in the bloody hell are you doing, Obi?” You scolded him, with tears in your eyes. You tried to infuse some of your chakra into him, heal his body as little as you could, but you could feel it was all sucked in by Juubi and Obito’s body couldn’t make any use of it.

Fighting against the darkness taking over him, Obito cupped one of your cheeks in his palm. He forced himself to smile at you, happy that you, out of everyone, came to spare him of his suffering. He knew you didn’t have it in you to kill him, he remembered all those times on your missions when you hesitated to cause any deadly harm, even to foes. But that was just another one of the countless things Obito loved about you. He had been scared to reciprocate your feelings for he knew how dangerous a shinobi’s life was. He wouldn’t have forgiven himself if he had led you on, if he had tried to build a relationship with you only to never return home one day. No good-byes, no chance to apologise for things or to make promises for the afterlife. Just the same, he knew he couldn’t have gone further without you if the roles had reversed.

You wore a deep frown as you tried again and again to keep him alive. Your arms grew tired of holding his heavy body that just became heavier as life left him. You weren’t ready to lose him. Not again. You needed the truth about everything, you needed to save him, you needed…

Obito used the last ounce of strength he had in that hand to pull you closer. He pressed his lips on yours and moved them softly for only a moment. The affection caught you off guard so you lost your focus on infusing chakra. Even if far from enough, your effort had offered Obito a few seconds more. Now that it was gone, he knew there was no turning back.

“I’ve loved you from the first sight,” he said, looking right into your eyes, wishing he had been brave enough to admit it years earlier. Maybe you had had a chance to walk on another path, next to each other. Maybe the world wouldn’t be ending now. Maybe you wouldn’t be crying above his corpse. Maybe he wouldn’t be dying.

“You’re late, Obito…” You whispered seeing his eyes not open when the kiss ended.

The war was still ongoing and Juubi could take control over Obito at any time, so you had to act fast. The thought itself of doing what you had to do made you ache, but there was no other choice. You laid Obito’s body on the ground and set it ablaze with the seal he himself taught you. The red flames engulfed him quickly, devouring every inch and destroying all chances for his body to be wrongfully used as source for the God Tree, a malevolent being that could destroy the whole world. You knew Obito never really wanted that. He couldn’t have. Not when he had one person he had truly loved: you.

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Taglist: @obitohno @ahobaka-trash

"How much are you willing to sacrifice for her?"

"Everything, Aki responded without a trace of hesitation."

"Yourself included?"

"No, I have to be here and take care of her."

"Then take care of her. If she dies first again, you will suffer the consequences."

Demons were a daily bother for Aki, although one he handled easily, a habit by now. Kishibe warned him not to mess with the angels, however, the way Aki saw it, it was the only chance he had to get Himeno back. And there he was now, speeding through the aisles of that abandoned warehouse, looking for her. The more steps and breaths he took, the more he thought of a way to get back at the creature, this time with the sword out of its sheath.

A rustle caught his attention, baiting him to a corner he missed before. On the floor, among ripped cardboards, a body lay curled. Light fell through a hole in the wall, bathing the woman's skin as if she had fallen from Heaven. Aki's eyes filled with tears by the time he reached her side. He warded off the blush on his face by hiding her nakedness under his coat. His hands grabbed gently at her shoulders and under her knees, lifted and hid her at his chest.

Himeno hadn't returned from the dead. She was reborn. There was no trace of her contracts with demons, nor of any of the tragedies her mind and soul went through. It took her a while to accept Aki's made-up explanation, that she had been robbed and knocked cold; after all, he was a male stranger in whose bed she woke up naked and who pretended to know everything about her. She couldn’t remember anything at all, her mind was only a white canvas, no spots of old or recent memories, no self-acquired habits stored in synapses, nothing but the automatic human functions: breathe, talk, walk, eat…

For Aki as well, it was difficult to be his normal self around a Himeno who had no recollection of who she was, who he was, or really… anything at all. He re-told her the same made-up story when she woke up some hours later, trying his best not to act too happy for her presence, too relieved that she is once again alive and well in front of him. As much as his memories and feelings were intact, emphasised now if not, Himeno’s were gone as if they never existed. The love she had nurtured for him, the one he found out about from Himeno’s letters to her sister, was now gone and he could not do anything about it.

Once Himeno got somewhat accustomed to the reality, her new life began. It consisted of waking up on a schedule, despite not needing to be anywhere in the morning, but Aki's alarm across the hallway pulled her from her dreams. Not even during the night's unconsciousness Himeno remembered anything from her past life, nor from the other side. She was merely a human now, deprived of her previous abilities. She learned from Aki that they had been best friends before she died — and it wasn't a lie — and that they shared the apartment to lower the rent for both of them — this was a lie, though one required in order to keep Himeno safe. She ate, sometimes cooked, for the love of it, not necessarily for Aki, she watched TV and read books. At first she didn’t understand why Aki wouldn’t let her leave the house on her own, however something deep inside her assured her she could trust that boy. Thus, she waited for his return every late afternoon, so they could go on a walk.

On some of the days when Aki didn’t go to work, their interaction upped from the good morning, enjoy your meal, I’m heading out, hey, welcome back, to an (un)pleasant cascade of questions from Himeno to Aki, to which he had a hard time answering. The first time it happened, Himeno jumped straight to the core with “who am I?” and as much as Aki tried to give his answers from the safe area, Himeno pressured him. He didn’t crack, though, for he knew he was not supposed to tell her the truth — it was one of the rules when one comes back to life. Aki’s answers were elusive, full of gaps, and it didn’t take the girl much to understand that he preferred not to talk about the past. His or hers. She accepted not to bother Aki anymore with the topic, even though the lack of self-knowledge harmed her soul. 

When they were together, the two still talked. Mostly about the new things Himeno discovered about herself — likes and dislikes, daily skills etc., which Aki always confirmed as being similar to her previous self — but also about Aki’s day. They enjoyed the scenery, on the street or from the balcony, they watched TV together and that was kind of all about their life together. For Himeno it began feeling right; and since she felt completely safe around him, it became the new natural order. She enjoyed each day as it was, unknowingly being protected by the boy from the ruthless world of demons.

Aki, though, went to sleep with his heart heavier every night. The muffle he wore was getting tighter and tighter with each thing Himeno found out. She rummaged through the apartment to pass the time and found bloody shirts. She didn’t ask about them but she took off the stains, knowing Aki will see. While she had decided not to ask him anything anymore, she could still make him talk. What she didn’t know was that lying didn’t come easy to Aki and that the more he hid from her and tried to muster out made-up explanations weighted on his conscience. He knew he must not cave in, for both their sakes, but it was getting absurd.

The day when Himeno googled herself and found her social media, Aki snapped. It had been a good thing that she did it at the morning coffee, so he was there to see and stop the upcoming disaster in time. They fought that day. He snatched the phone from her and deleted the account without a second thought which baffled and angered Himeno on the spot. Why would he do such a thing? That might’ve been her only chance to actually learn something from her past, to get in contact with loved ones who were probably very concerned about her. And he simply cut that off for good. She almost packed the few things that she owned with the intention to walk out of that apartment forever, had Aki not caught her wrist and pulled her to his chest. He couldn’t promise to tell her the truth if she stayed, he couldn’t make her stay in any way other than locking her in, and neither of those was a good option.

“I need you to trust me, Himeno,” he said.

Her wrist was being gently held, not like a restraint; her body met warmth and an agitated heartbeat at Aki’s chest; his voice was low but desperate, and didn’t sound like a threat at all. Aki was not holding her hostage, she knew that, she felt that, but all the secrecy was scaring her. He had never done her any wrongs, never asked anything from her — material or physical — therefore she started to believe that he hid things from her in order to protect her. But from what?

“I don’t. But I will stay.”

After that day, they didn’t talk anymore. Aki continued the greetings, called her to dinner, asked her if she needed anything from the store or if she was up for a walk. But she never answered. They lived together, but rarely met. There was a solid reason for that too, at least in Himeno’s opinion. If she couldn’t find anything about herself, she could try and learn who Aki Hayakawa was. Of course, she had to do her research the old way, since she didn’t have access to a phone anymore. Even though Aki didn’t leave her a front door key, Himeno found a way to sneak out. She quickly learned that, in fact, she possessed some unconscious physical abilities when she climbed down from the balcony, to the fire exit staircase, all the way to the pavement, without a sweat. For a moment she tried to guess what her job had been, but nothing other than fire department or military came to mind, and she didn’t see herself having such a job. She considered going to the police station and asking about him, but on what account would they give her information? Even more, wouldn’t they become suspicious of why she was asking? Was she endangered by that man? Or was she trying to cause him harm? Police station was not a good idea. She remembered the high-school she saw in her bio. She could go there and ask about him, maybe they have been classmates. But what if they went to different schools and no one knew a thing about him there? Another futile idea.

As she walked around to shake her brain, Himeno realised she could go to the library and google him on a computer. Not knowing where the library was wasn't such a big deal. She stopped the first youngster she met and asked about the library. It came as a surprise for her that she needed to ask several high-school-looking teenagers in order to find one that actually knew where the library was, “that place with many books you can borrow?” Once there, Himeno had to register for a permit. Good thing it didn’t cost much, and it only needed a name, age, occupation and a photo taken on the spot. Since she only knew her first name, she used Aki’s last in order not to alarm the librarian.

Hayakawa Himeno, 21 years old, college student at that university she passed by earlier, stared at her silly face in the permit photo. She had been told to keep eyes wide open but maybe she overdid it. The computers’ room was not very big yet she found an empty spot. She was grateful for the person who left the front page of the browser open and also for how easy it seemed to search for something online.

“Public Safety Devil Hunters” was the organisation Aki worked for. Himeno spent a good amount of hours reading about that organisation, its duties and task force. She had a hard time processing the information and registering it as true. She even asked the person at the desk nearby and the plain unrehearsed answer she received that “they’re like police but for demons that appear from time to time” turned Himeno’s whole (small) world upside down.

So was that blood his or devil blood? Himeno asked herself on the way back home. She climbed up the same way she got down, and went to her bedroom, where Aki would check first thing when he got back from “work”. Something didn’t add up, though. He left at the same hour every day. He was never late after work. He never seemed affected by anything, was he really hunting devils from 9 to 5? It was stupid and improbable but she checked multiple times if the information she found was legit. Unluckily, it was. As she lay on the bed, eyes fixed on the ceiling fan, Himeno wondered whether Aki kept her inside to protect her from devils or was she a devil and he didn’t want her to get caught by other devil hunters? The thought was stupid enough to make her laugh, but everything seemed suddenly possible.

How does a devil look, anyway? How does a devil feel? She had never felt any urge to do something bad or kill Aki or any human; she couldn’t be a devil. And if devils appeared sometimes and out of nowhere, how was Aki so sure she was safe in that apartment? A myriad of new questions spun in her head with such speed she considered writing them down so she wouldn’t forget them. But would she be able to ask Aki for the truth?

“Hey, I’m back. I brought pizza if you want,” Aki said from down the hallway. His voice made Himeno jump right up. What if he was a devil? A very evolved one with a plan and a clear goal, who was keeping her there to… to… to what? She had been there for a couple of months and nothing seemed off about Aki, well… anything other than the usual weird stuff she grew accustomed to.

“Pepperoni or cheese?” She asked from her room.

It had been a long time since he heard Himeno’s voice, so long that Aki got used to not receiving a response, and now that she did respond, he needed a moment to contain his joy. He thought about telling her to come see for herself, as a joke, but he changed his mind. He had no right to wish Himeno to like him.

“Pepperoni.”

After a few minutes, Himeno came to the kitchen. She was wearing a long hoodie over a shirt and sweatpants. She opened the pizza box and smiled. It was indeed with pepperoni. Her eyes flipped to Aki when he handed her a plate.

“What’s this for?” She asked

“You’ve been eating in your room lately.”

The way the boy had accepted her wishes and actions without a question and complied with them even as she appeared to have changed her mind made Himeno feel warm inside. There was no way Aki was a bad guy. She offered him a brief smile, grabbed the whole pizza box and walked out of the kitchen.

Aki rubbed his forehead with two fingers, instantly foreseeing two possible outcomes: him going to sleep hungry or eating some scraps from the fridge. However, instead of hearing the door to Himeno’s room, he heard her shouting from the living room.

“Bring some napkins when you come.”

That evening was tense. They sat on the tatami, face to face across the table, and ate pepperoni pizza in silence. The TV noise was low in the background and the balcony door was open to let the summer breeze in. Himeno didn’t say anything about what she had learned but there was a slight change in the way she looked at Aki. And he noticed it. However, he didn’t say anything either. He didn’t know what was left to talk about, or whether it wouldn’t be pathetic to do small talk while the elephant in the room stole the entire oxygen.

When she was done eating, Himeno lay on her side on the floor, looking nowhere, letting her eyes defocus as she let her thoughts run about. A colourful bookcase on the little shelf under the TV managed to catch her attention. She reached and grabbed it, curious of its content, and failed to see the sad smile in the corner of Aki’s lips. He watched her open what was in fact a photo album and sipped from his sake as he waited for the questions. Pretty much water flowed under the bridge as Himeno inspected the first pictures. She managed to recognize young Aki and figured the other people were his family. She didn’t ask what happened to them, she had a feeling something bad did so it would have been mean to scratch old wounds. The next photos raised some suspicions. A blonde boy and a blonde girl, both somewhat peculiar looking. Were those devils? Why were there pictures with them and Aki smiling? Were they friends? Was Aki a devil too after all? Were the two dead? Some of the pictures were taken in that very living room, so why were they not there anymore? Nevertheless, she kept the questions to herself. She stole a glance at Aki but he seemed to pay attention to the photos in her hands more than to her. He seemed sad.

The next photo that showed up contained Himeno. A certain Himeno the girl did not quite recognize. Her hair was shorter, she was wearing a suit and had a patch on her right eye. She was hugging Aki really tight and was blushing, while Aki was smiling. For a moment she thought that maybe there had been something more between them. The next photos showed both of them surrounded by other people dressed alike. And in another one, Himeno was hugging the two people she assumed to be devils. What was going on?

Aki watched her look at the photos in silence. He saw her brows narrow down and her lips part as to voice concerns which were left hanging. He sighed when she sat back up and put the photo album on the table. He was not allowed to answer her questions but he could guide her indirectly to figure everything out on her own. It was about time the truth resurfaced for he felt she was slipping away from him. His job — the one he swore himself into — was keeping Himeno safe, alive and happy. If she didn’t trust him, if she hated him and wanted to leave, she would be exposed to danger and they would both suffer.

When Himeno finally looked at him, Aki braced himself. She offered a gentle smile which looked surprisingly honest and that was all. Himeno closed the photo album, got up and headed to bed. She said goodnight on her way and smiled briefly to herself as she sensed the confusion in the boy’s voice when he responded. During that night, she put the pieces together, creating an image in her head, a possible story of her past which she didn’t know whether to wish it confirmed or not. Aki must’ve had his reasons for keeping her in the dark and, as angry as she had been the past few days, Himeno felt the strange sense of security once again. Somewhere close to dawn, the girl’s mind flew right back at the photo with Aki and her. It was obvious that she had had feelings for Aki and seeing a square, vividly coloured proof of it triggered those emotions. Himeno laughed at herself between the sheets, only now understanding all those fleeting moments when she caught herself looking at Aki for a bit too long, sniffing his perfume off of his clothes as she folded them, wishing he returned home sooner. Her brain might’ve lost the access to her memories, but the heart appeared to have its own hard drive.

To some extent, Aki was relieved he didn’t have to set his dangerous plan into motion. On the other hand, he was concerned about Himeno’s next step. He went to sleep that night and, before he could fall asleep, he had to fight off some tears caused by recalling those days as Himeno swiped through photographs. Next morning, he acted as usual, hoping not to be asked anything.

Once awake, Himeno remembered her entire train of thoughts during the night and, as she let herself drawn by the smell of coffee, she pondered whether to get closer to Aki. Or, maybe she could show the slightest bit of interest and he would come? Maybe they were a couple before she lost her memories but he didn’t want to force things on her, given how confused she was.

“Morning,” she said in a much more honey-layered voice than usual.

“Good morning,” Aki answered and turned to the cupboard to grab a cup for her.

Perhaps last night lasted longer, or perhaps time went in reverse, in any case, even though she could still not remember anything, Himeno felt a big batch of butterflies flapping their wings in her stomach once her eyes laid on Aki. And they weren’t the anxiety butterflies from when she slipped out of the apartment, or when she lied about her identity on the street. It was a feeling she recognised even though she “never” had it before in that life. Within a few steps, Himeno was behind Aki. She wrapped her arms around his torso and pressed her cheek on his shoulder blade. Aki took a deep breath and lowered his hand from the cupboard to touch Himeno’s.

“Everything alright?” he asked plainly while having a million thoughts per second.

“I’m your girlfriend, am I not?”

He could’ve said yes; he could’ve made up a whole story, one good enough to keep her from asking more questions about her past; he could have totally rebuilt her past. But it’s Aki we’re talking about.

“No, you’re not.”

“It seems my heart says otherwise,” Himeno mumbled on his shirt. “I think I used to have feelings for you back then and the amnesia turned them dormant,” she continued. “They are back now, I believe.”

Breathing sounds spiced the silence that followed. They remained embraced for a while, but then Aki poured the girl some coffee and took them both to the table.

“Do you have any feelings for me?” Himeno asked, feeling more and more awkward.

“I have a lot of different feelings for you.” Aki grabbed his pack of cigarettes and the coffee and went out on the balcony.

Himeno followed. “Like what?”

“It started with admiration, then we became friends, then I learned about your feelings. Then I lost you and felt empty and now I’m happy you’re here with me.” Aki knew he was vague and that he switched the order of the events, but he had to make sure he didn’t actually say anything about her past.

“How did you lose me, Aki?”

It was getting dangerous, as Aki foresaw. He lit a cigarette and went on with the only plan he had. “Someone took you from me.”

“Did I cheat on you?” she asked, suddenly disgusted that she would be able to do such a thing. Aki shook his head. “Did I get kidnapped?” she tried again, growing more concerned. “Did I die and got resurrected or what?” It was getting absurd, so Himeno laughed, but when her eyes met Aki’s glare, a tight knot formed in her guts. “That’s… just as impossible as devils and devil hunters,” she concluded.

When he finished his cigarette, Aki returned inside without a word. He got dressed in his uniform but today he allowed his badge to be seen outside his pocket. When she walked him to the door, Himeno saw it. She turned it on all sides to check its authenticity, then looked into Aki’s eyes. He remained silent and walked out the door like that. The only difference was that now Himeno would have a lot more to think about during the day while he had to do everything in his power not to think about it.

Devil hunter or not, brought back from the dead or not, Himeno was sure of one thing and one thing only: the warmth she felt when Aki entered the apartment, alive and well, evening after evening. Across the next week, Himeno posed one question here, one question there, in a smart enough way so that Aki could reply only in yes’s or no’s. The girl figured he was not allowed to tell the truth, but he could confirm or deny facts. Aki remained careful in his answers, he did not help Himeno put the pieces together, so when most of the truth was out in the open, he was relieved the girl did it by herself. There was no more tension between them, he didn’t have to hide everything anymore and he could finally give in to those feelings that stirred him ever since he learned about Himeno’s way of seeing him, well, at least the Himeno from before.

The tsck! of the soda can pulled Aki from his thoughts. It was late at night, yet it was too warm to stay inside. He had been sitting on the balcony for a few hours, a bunch of cigarette buts lay next to him in the ashtray. Himeno leaned into the door frame and sipped from the can. She couldn’t sleep either, but it wasn’t solely the heat’s fault. There was a pressure on her chest that only unspoken feelings could cause. Instead of taking the other chair, the girl sat on the floor tiles, and rested her head on Aki’s knee. They sat in silence for a while, both reluctant to speak their minds.

Life was good the way it was, complicated and rather unsafe, but it was alright. Confessing was on his mind, he couldn’t deny it, but it felt better to leave things as they were. Himeno, on the other hand, felt differently. She turned her head to look up at the boy and smiled. When her lips touched his knee, she didn’t stop from kissing the skin. Her gesture surprised Aki and he blushed a little.

“I may be wrong since I don’t remember anything, but I have a strong feeling that the love I have for you is an old one.” Accelerated heartbeats, deep, slow breaths and avoided eye-contact suggested Himeno the opposite of what she had hoped for. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, Aki, sorry,” she added, removing herself from his proximity by standing up.

“You didn’t. I just never thought I’d hear those words from your mouth directly.”

“What words?”

“Love. You.”

“Did I tell them to you before?”

“No, but I wish you did.”

“Well, I’m doing it now. I love you.”

Himeno talked casually, despite her own panicked heart. Aki’s eyes widened and he stood up slowly. Just a bit taller, when he stopped in front of her, their noses almost touched. He remembered they used to recklessly invade each other’s personal space all the time. How come he had been so blind to Himeno’s intentions and feelings? His hands caressed her bare arms and when she mellowed in his touch, Aki spoke.

“I love you too.”

His body kept Himeno in the shadows, safe, protected, just as he had promised and as he had done so far. An addition to that safety was the love he was able to offer her now. When their lips met, Himeno felt at home and Aki felt free of a burden he had not been aware of. Aki had wished to find Himeno in another life, where they could love each other. Somehow, his wish came true.

He was in charge of the comfort only, despite having offered to bring at least the drinks. You insisted you could handle the snacks and beverages, and Mitsuya simply could not cross your words. Therefore, to compensate, he did everything in his powers to ensure the best experience. At first, you considered it an exaggeration that he brought pillows to a picnic, but your body benefitted from them so you chose to ignore the peculiar looks thrown at you by by-passers.

After his birthday party at Draken’s, you and Mitsuya continued to talk – through texts, sometimes calls, you even went grocery shopping together once. However, sitting on a fluffy blanket in the park, chatting with the boy about your likes and dislikes, hobbies and aspirations, felt like a real date. When he asked you if you liked to have a picnic together, Mitsuya didn’t use the word “date”, but you were sure that’s what it was. He smiled at you the entire time, re-filled your glass before it emptied, peeled the apple for you and, most importantly, looked at you with the gentlest smile. Before you knew it, you renounced your usual stiff street attitude in favour of your true self – comfortable, a bit loud and oversharing.

“...that’s when it hit me: it was completely stupid and I shoudl’ve just– I’m sorry, I strayed so much from the subject and only talked about myself,” you apologised, pressing two fingertips on your forehead.

“I don’t mind it at all,” Mitsuya eased you. “I like listening to you.”

“Still, I kind of overshared some stuff and it’s barely our first date.”

You zipped your mouth shut after that word. It had escaped you and you weren’t sure what would happen next. You liked Mitsuya, a little more than he knew actually, but admitting it so soon came against your principles.

“Most people talk during the first date. More or less, depending on their personality, but I think that’s a good way of figuring out whether a second date would be worth it.”

Your companion’s talk was measured, slightly hinting towards approval of the current interaction and you agreed with him on the matter. Yet you still decided to let him talk further, so you smiled and reached for an apple slice. Mitsuya noticed the change in your state, and in an attempt to restore the vibe, he switched to sitting criss-cross and hugged the pillow.

“Let’s play 10 questions. This way neither of us would talk too much and we get to know each other better.”

His proposition was a smart one, and as long as you kept the questions in the safe zone, nothing could turn awkward. You nodded your head as you finished the apple and then copied his posture.

“I go first,” Mitsuya said. “What was the last good deed you did?”

Much to your shame, you needed a moment to think about it. You didn’t want to say the first thing that crossed your mind because you didn’t want it to seem too minor. The boy was patient, almost too patient for your answer, that it made you think he was already judging you for not being a good person. Yet again, Mitsuya wasn’t the type of person to do that.

“I’m not sure what you understand by a good deed, but I assume donating some money for a charitable cause is considered a good deed everywhere,” you finally answered.

“Why did you think about it so much? I mean, it’s very nice of you that you did that, but I’m sure you did plenty of other good deeds you don’t even realise are good deeds.”

“Like what?”

“For example, on my way here, I offered an old lady my seat in the bus.”

“Oh, well, last night I helped a neighbour bring their luggage to the 5th floor.”

“See, that should’ve been your first answer,” Mitsuya encouraged you, wearing the same smile.

“Ok, ok. My turn. If you were to move to another country for the rest of your life, which one would you choose?”

The question surprised Mitsuya and you couldn’t help but giggle at the way he knitted his brows. If the roles were reversed, you would’ve thought he asked you that because he was going to relocate and he needed to know your opinion on long-distance relationships. But that was your thought process, not Mitsuya’s.

“I think France. Even though I heard it might be dirty, it’s the mother country of fashion and well, you know me.”

The simplest most unexpected answer you were given and it made you chuckle some more.

“Yeah, I should’ve known. I bet you’d be a great fashion house owner.”

“Thank you, I hope so, but there’s a lot of work left to do before I can dream of that.”

With his bottom lip stuck to the edge of his glass, Mitsuya continued the game. “Early bird of midnight owl?”

“It depends, really. If I made the mistake of postponing some tasks and taking a nap too late in the afternoon instead, I’d end up staying awake until 3-4 am. When I crash at 9 pm after overworking myself, be sure I’ll be up at 5 the next morning.”

“Sounds like a rollercoaster,” Mitsuya stated and laughed. “Is your work schedule that fucked up?”

“My whole life appears to be fucked up, actually.”

“I shouldn’t give uncalled advice, but you could try being a little more disciplined and set an order of priority for the things you want to do.”

You didn’t want to admit it, but you had tried to do that before. You lacked motivation for a lot of things, thus you failed, because nothing seemed to push you enough. As you didn’t reply anything, Mitsuya cussed at himself internally for barging in, and reminded you it was your turn.

“Do you swim, Mitsuya?”

“I do, yes. Not very often, though, because I don’t have the time for it, but yes, I know how to and I like to swim.”

“Consider it question 4.1, where do you like to swim more? The ocean or a pool?”

“Hm, as long as it is a great mass of water that allows me to submerge, anything will do. Although, I think I prefer less chlorine so I’d go for the ocean whenever the weather permits it.”

“That’s a very good answer!” You exclaimed, now with your smile regained.

“I see we upped the questions, therefore, name three traits you like about yourself and three traits you wish you had.”

You worried that at one point the game would take it sideways, but you would’ve been less stressed if it went on the sexual side.

“I have to think about it. Should we go on with the game and I’ll answer when I know them for sure?” You asked, stalling, hoping he’d agree and then forget.

“No, why? We don’t have to multitask all the time. Why stress your brain into thinking about several things at once? It’s a beautiful day, we’re here and it’s comfortable. Take your time to think about it and answer me when you’re ready.”

The effect this boy’s voice had on you was beyond your comprehension. You felt like the weight of the entire world had just been lifted off your shoulders, You felt the ever present tension in your body fade away; your shoulders fell and your lungs filled with air. A little tear formed in the corner of your more sensitive eye.

“Are you alright?” Mitsuya asked, leaning forward just a tad.

“Yeah, I’m fine, sorry,” you dismissed him, wiping the tear away.

“Did I say something wrong?”

“No, no, it’s just… You bring a lot of calm towards me and… It’s just a new experience for me, that’s all.”

Mitsuya exhaled deeply and in a matter of seconds decided his decision couldn’t be harmful. He grabbed the hand you held the pillow with and squeezed your fingers.

“We can do something else if you want. Or I can change the question.”

A million electrical tingles travelled up your arm and culminated at the base of your skull. The last time a part of your bodies touched was that morning when you napped embraced – still strangers, still falling for each other.

“No, it’s ok. I’ll answer, but what will you do while I sit and think?”

“The silence never bothered me, I could just lay down and watch the leaves sway.”

You scoffed into a smile and a nod of your head signed your agreement. The slight regret you felt when he freed your hand was soon replaced with the joy of seeing your crush lay on his back, with his head close to your knee. You resorted to the greatest power you had within not to brush your hand through his lavender hair. You weren’t at that stage yet.

He said to shut down all the other thoughts in your mind and focus on answering the question, but once a multitasker, you can’t back down from that. As you self-analysed your personality, you also took a good look at Mitsuya’s body and dozens of images of you touching him formed. There was nothing inappropriate in those touches, no, but you couldn’t help wishing to lay down next to him and feel the weight of his arm on your shoulder or waist, and the rhythm of his heart deep in your ear.

When a stronger breeze came, it moved the leaves of the tree above you. The sunlight hit Mitsuya’s eyes mercilessly and he shut them. You held back your giggle, thinking that if he heard you, he’d look up and learn that you were staring at him. When he didn’t re-open his eyes, though, you realised he might fall asleep if you didn’t talk sooner.

“I wish I had more faith in myself. Even though I can’t really change it, I wish I was taller. And the last one: I wish I could draw. I’ve practised it for a long time, I’m just anti-talent.”

“I knew you’d say the bad things first. Now tell me those three things you like about yourself. I’m more interested in that, as they are real.”

There was nothing aggressive in the boy’s tone, yet you entered defensive mode in an instant.

“What do you mean real? How are these three wishes not real?”

Unlike him, you were naturally more fiery, so Mitsuya realised his approach hadn’t been the best one. He rolled over, resting his cheek in his palm.

“I meant that you should focus on the things you already have. Cherish them or try to improve them, rather than wishing you were different, especially when you have no chance to change yourself in that direction.”

“I don’t need a lecture,” you cut him short.

“I–... I’m sorry. I tend to get all teacher-y because I have two younger sisters that I take care of. I should be more careful with older people who already have their lives straight and personality moulded.”

He apologised even though he was right, even though you subconsciously agreed with him, and it made you feel stupid for snapping at him.

“I don’t know things that I like about myself,” you circled back to the subject.

Mitsuya really wanted to encourage you to think about it more, to try and find good things within you, but it would’ve been just another unwanted lesson. You two were on a date, you said it yourself, and he hated it when tension arised.

“I like that you are radical and don’t go wherever the wind blows you. I like the fact that you handle everything on your own, it shows a lot of strength. And I really really like the way you smell.”

Not only your previous anger vanished, but the warmth forming in your guts got you speechless for a while.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me, I didn’t do anything but stating the obvious. Now you tell me three things you like about yourself.”

“I like my fingers. They’re short but slim and bony and when I get my nails done, they look amazing,” you named one thing and a sheepish smile appeared on your lips. “I like the food I cook, and the fact that I handwrite all the recipes in a pretty notebook.”

“That sounds good. One more thing.”

“I like… One thing I like about myself is that I like you,” you said looking straight into his eyes.

“This one doesn’t count,” he pointed out, smiling, surprised you spoke your heart in such a moment.

“Ok… then,” you looked away, “I like my hair when it’s freshly washed. Like today. It makes me feel so beautiful.”

“You are. Now’s your turn to ask something.”

“Do you think people can be essentially evil?”

Not in a million years Mitsuya had expected you to ask such a thing, to change the subject completely, so it took him aback. He shifted a bit, as his ribs started to hurt from the ground underneath, and after a short hum, he looked back up at you.

“No. Nothing, humans included, is essentially evil. Bad things happen due to conjunctures, misinterpreted actions, or mistakes. I don’t think there is such a thing as pure evil. We are all made out of the same material and the goal is to live and do what makes you happy. Some go for extremist options to achieve that, but only because they had the mischance not to get along with the rest.”

Mitsuya’s answer pleased you greatly. You didn’t fancy him as a very wise person – how could he be? at only 23 – but his view and take on life were healthy and good. You posed the question to check whether your opinion was shared, and you felt at ease with the answer you received.

“I think the same. I also don’t think we could hate, to the extent of the word. We dislike, we despise, we get annoyed and we cut ties, or completely reject something, but hate doesn’t truly exist. Its opposite does, but real deep hate doesn’t.”

Seeing that new version of you birthed a new feeling in Mitsuya. He thought he had a pretty good image of you before, but the more you two spent time together, the better he understood how beautiful of a person you were.

“What movie got stuck in your heart forever?” Mitsuya asked, cooling off the deep conversation.

“Midnight in Paris,” you answered without hesitation.

Your laughter caught you unprepared after you realised the connotation of the movie’s title and Mitsuya’s choice to move to France. The boy seemed to have noticed it too because he joined your laugh with wide open eyes.

“Do you know the movie?”

“Unfortunately, no, but I think I will watch it since you answered so quickly.”

“It hits hard. The idea of getting stuck in a time-space bubble where you are happy and get to be whoever you want to be without any worries… it just… I cried a lot.”

Your description was kind of a spoiler, but if the movie was that good as you insinuated, Mitsuya was sure he would still enjoy it.

“Do you want to watch it together?”

“I would love to. But I will cry again.”

“I don’t have a problem with that.”

Starting with a conversation about self, personality and traits, continuing with one on the emotional nature of human beings and then jumping to all your memories related to that movie got you soft. You laid flat on your belly, and scrunched the pillow under your cheek with your arms. Next to you, still laying with his head above the ground, Mitsuya caught your gaze.

“We have three questions left,” he said.

“Yeah, and it’s my turn.”

“Go ahead.”

“What are you afraid of?”

His wish to change to brighter subjects got crushed, but seeing you open up to him, eager to explore psychological aspects, helped Mitsuya understand that you truly weren’t like everyone else. After a deep breath, he laid on his back and cupped the back of his head in his palms.

“I’m afraid of wasting my life. I don’t know for how long I will be here and I know that I can’t live one minute two times. I try to live my life the way I sit fit, keep healthy and joyful and yet, I’m afraid that one day I will realise I should’ve done things in a different manner but it would be too late. That’s why I always try to make the best decisions in everything and trust my instincts.”

You listened to him carefully, gulping whenever you felt like becoming too emotional. You didn’t want to tear up again, how would you look in his eyes if you let the waterworks out that fast every time? Alas, the thought that his fear was much more justified than yours, you sunk your face in the pillow to muffle your sniffle.

“I’m sorry if I got you one more concern. I am always honest and you chose the questions so…”

“My greatest fear is to be alone,” you said.” Not wanted by anyone, not useful to anyone, just living day by day alone, without someone to share my little happy moments with.”

“Ok, rectification, I’m the one to add a concern to my life,” Mitsuya said and turned to face you. “We should really ask simpler questions. Why did we choose to torment each other like this?”

Lifting your face from the pillow – nose red, messy baby hairs and the underline of your eye a little wet – you smiled.

“You’re right. I have a good question. Can I ask two in a row?”

“Sure, yeah, go for it.”

“Have you experienced anything paranormal?”

That was a big jump, but at least it had a chance to diffuse the sadness. Mitsuya gave your question a thought or two, pondering what fitted in the paranormal category in your opinion. Ghosts and ghouls? Time travelling? Telekinesis? Or what other science fiction motives?

“I don’t think so, no. But if you did, I’d like to hear the story.”

“Oh boy, I did!” You exclaimed, jumping from your spot and assuming a sitting position. “So, I’m not sure if I believe in spirits, but this thing blew my mind and I'll never get over it. I didn’t manage to find an explanation and I will probably never do, but hear me out. My grandmother had died a few days before Christmas. Everyone was in shackles but at the same time we were relieved she managed to get free from the suffering she was in.”

Mitsuya’s lips curved downwards and he sighed briefly, as a way to express he felt sorry for you, however, he didn’t dwell on it much since you were about to tell a fantastic story.

“We argued in the family whether to decorate for the holiday or not, but eventually we did it. On the Christmas’ Eve Eve we made the whole house pretty. We used the same decorations as up until then, we got the same type of tree, put it in the same place and used the same amount of ornaments on it. Even so, the Christmas vibe did not install. We didn’t like anything about the house. All of the globes and tinsel seemed to hang weirdly and it annoyed us to the point we almost took them off. On Christmas Eve, though, something happened.”

You managed to set the first part of the story, gesturing with your hands and all, but when you got to the main part, your eyes filled with tears. You couldn’t control it. Paranormal or not, it was a moment you would cherish forever.

“Hey, hey, you don’t need to continue. I thought it was going to be something scary. It seems painful.”

“Oh no, it was scary, trust me,” you said in a forced laugh. “I was home alone – the others went to buy the last things – and I kid you not, a globe fell off the tree branch. Nothing unusual, right? If the thread wasn’t tied well enough it could’ve easily gotten undone. I got up to put it back, of course, but I wasn’t sure where it fell from so I just put it where there seemed to be enough space for it. As I returned to the couch, another globe fell. I turned on my heels and bent down to check whether my aunt’s cat was in the tree, playing pranks on me. Mitsuya, the cat was in the door frame, staring at the tree. Just as I argued with the cat to stop staring like a maniac, a third globe fell and with it a part of the tinsel.”

The look in Mitsuya’s eyes changed a bit. One thread could get undone, but four? There was something strange about the story, but surely he could’ve found an explanation if he had been there.

“I got the pieces and again, put them where I figured they might look good. When I turned from the tree, the cat meowed. But she wasn’t looking at me. She was looking at the goddamn tree. My blood froze in my veins. I was so scared to turn around because I knew something was there, kicking the ornaments down.”

“What did you do?”

“I proceeded to ignore it and returned to the couch. I got my book and I kept it at eye-level, pretending to read. I don’t know why I did that, but, believe me or not, I was looking at the tree. I saw one blue globe that had been put way too high up in the tree. That branch was strong enough to hold it but it didn’t look good.”

“It didn’t move.”

“It fucking did. I watched it stay still, unbothered, and then out of nowhere shifted down the branch and fell to the floor. The cat meowed again, moved closer to the tree and stared at the blank air next to the tree. There was nothing there, Mitsuya. I thought I lost my mind. After a few seconds nothing else happened. The cat walked – didn’t run, just walked – out of the room, and I stayed there, eyes fixed on the Christmas Tree until my parents returned.”

“Did you tell them?”

“No. They would’ve never believed me, they would’ve blamed it on the acute pain I felt for my grandma’s passing. Also, there was no point in telling them anything, because my mother noticed the changes in the tree and she said something along the lines of oh, you moved the globes, so nice of you to remember how grandma liked them to be put in the tree.”

“What the fuck…”

“Yeah,” you replied, shaking your head, still moved by your own experience from years ago.

“That is considered paranormal, and be it your imagination or not, I won’t judge, but it was a nice way of saying she’s still there.”

“I know,” you sniffled again, but this time it was accompanied by a chuckle.

After such reminiscing, you needed a break. You got some snacks from the bag and shared it with Mitsuya. Flat on your back, both of you this time, you played throw and catch with some chocolate-glazed peanuts and laughed your asses off whenever you hit yourselves or each other with food. The Sun was still up, thus the weather pleasant. An occasional breeze moved the leaves, making them play with the sunlight on your face.

Mitsuya stole a few glances at you when you laughed with your eyes closed; he didn’t react too obviously when you brushed your fingers or your legs on his body; he didn’t let you know he saw you checking him out.

“There is one more question left, you know?” Mitsuya asked

“Oh, yeah, I forgot about it. It’s your turn anyway.”

“Can I kiss you?”

Your heart skipped a beat and you hoped he didn’t see it. Turning to look at the boy, you saw he lifted his head and torso to be closer to you. His eyes entranced you, turning you putty without a touch. You played with the hem of his shirt, trying to distract your mind, calm yourself, but the truth was the only thing you were able to do was to stare in his eyes or at his lips. By now, you wished he would just lean down already and press his lips harshly on yours – that’s what you would’ve done in his shoes, but he didn’t budge. And then you remembered that the first time he asked you this, you refused it. What a gentleman…

“Yes, please,” you finally answered, repaying his formality, but tugging at his shirt.

Mitsuya knew you would understand his behaviour and when you proved him right, he smiled and made his lips meet yours. Despite being so desperate to kiss him, you found it very pleasing how gentle he chose to be. His mouth barely moved across yours, lips playing in slow motion, lengthening the pressure applied on each other. You felt like hours passed before he stuck the tip of his tongue out, requesting access deeper into your intimacy.

His free hand found your waist soon and pulled you closer to him, making his body partly hover over yours. You had one arm trapped under his chest, but the other was free to use for playing in his hair. It turned out to be softer than you imagined it which made you smile mid-kiss.

“Do you like it?” He whispered.

“Your lips, your hair or the fact that we’re making out on a blanket in the park?”

“Whichever.”

“I like all of them,” you declared and resumed the kiss, adding a bit more fire to it.

You both tried your best to control the desire to do more than kissing, but at some point you forgot everything about the setting. Mitsuya’s hand slipped under your shirt and trailed the length of your spinal cord, and you moaned in his mouth. If it wasn’t for that dog which came nearby to grab the frisbee it missed, you would’ve straddled Mitsuya and only you know how much you would’ve regretted behaving like that afterwards.

Careful and kind as always, Mitsuya walked you to the closest bus station. He assumed you would consider it too much if he offered to walk you home. You liked him, that was clear, so he had a chance of seeing you again. There was time to get through it all, baby steps were what he did his whole life anyway.

“Is a second date worth it?” You asked, when you saw the bus turn around the corner.

“It is for me. If you want it, as well…”

“I do. Let’s watch that movie next time.”

“I’d love that.”

You waved him goodbye through the bus window and you felt your stomach twist at the realisation that the movie wasn’t playing in the cinemas anymore and you had to rent it and see it at home. His or yours, but inside a house.

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The days passed agonisingly slowly for Kaneki. He locked himself in the room, refusing to go outside until his sensitive state passed. But what can one do for days in a row and white nights to not bore himself to death or lose his mind again? He read a lot; scribbled nonsense in a notebook with more blunt than sharp pencils; he built the same three puzzles again and again to keep focus and prevent dark memories from getting a hold of him.

However, every activity, despite how much he enjoyed it, started to pull at Kaneki's nerves. He had been back for about a week and the silence surrounding the area became unbearable. Sleeping was the most dangerous thing the boy could do. To not have complete control over his mind meant the memories could overlap with dreams, birthing nightmares, reminding him of the torture that turned him into a monster. Kaneki couldn't afford to rest, but the more the time ticked, the harsher the exhaustion was.

Like everyone else, Touka had been shut off from him. She understood his concern not to hurt his friends by mistake – since he wasn't fully recovered – yet Touka carried a concern of her own. Thus, against all reasoning from the others, the girl found herself in front of Kaneki's bedroom. Much to her surprise, the familiar voice behind the door welcomed her inside after she knocked.

"How are you feeling, Kaneki?" She asked. “I brought you some tea to help you sleep.”

The boy only turned his head in Touka’s direction when she spoke. Fully laid down on the bed, he felt impolite but he was too tired to sit up. Her words surprised him, though he figured he hadn’t been as silent during the night as he believed.

“I’m sorry if I disturbed your sleep,” he answered.

With a soft shake of her head, Touka came closer and placed the tea cup on the nightstand. She took a good look at him and sighed, noticing how much older and physically consumed Kaneki looked because of the mental torment.

“Ken, you need to sleep,” she whispered, daring to brush a hair strand off Kaneki’s forehead.

He had felt nothing but his own skin for a long while, however when Touka touched him, he didn’t pull away as both of them expected him to. There was a strange soothing sensation that began to nestle in his chest. He assumed it was the trust he had in the girl, or maybe the feelings he nurtured for her long ago were returning?

“I can’t sleep. Whenever I close my eyes, it’s the same torture,” he admitted in a coarse voice, the result of not using his vocal cords in a long while.

When Kaneki walked through the front door missing an arm and covered in blood, everyone panicked. Touka was the only one who neared him at the right time, and caught him when he collapsed. She cried that night, while scrubbing Kaneki’s blood off her clothes and skin, wondering if she lost him forever, wondering whether the boy who returned was still Ken. He had always managed on his own, but now, being alone, letting him be alone didn’t seem right to Touka, not how her feelings dictated.

“How about I lay here with you and guard your dreams?” Touka asked after minutes of over-analyzing her future words.

Kaneki appreciated the intention greatly, he even smiled – a sight Touka hadn’t seen in too long – and forced himself to sit up.

“I would like to try. I feel my body giving up on me, but I don’t want to harm you.”

“I trust that you won’t,” she replied and took a seat next to him. “Besides, I am not that weak, in case you don’t remember when I beat your ass.”

The girl’s chuckle could wash away all the sorrow in the world, swipe all the clouds and bring hope even in the darkest hearts; even in Kaneki’s. With a brief nod of his head, the boy laid back on the bed. To keep things normal and comfortable, and avoid any awkwardness between them, Touka laid the other way around. Their faces were upside down and close, while the rest of their bodies stretched in opposite directions. Kaneki didn’t say a word about it, but looked away nonetheless. Touka copied his position so now they both stared at the ceiling. Unlike before, that silence was painless to Kaneki.

Warmed by the presence of another body and calmed by the slow rhythm of its breaths, the boy finally closed his eyes. Touka noticed it and quickly said a short prayer in her mind, wishing Kaneki a good sleep. As always, for the first few minutes, everything seemed alright, but when the tiredness took Kaneki over and he succumbed to his unconsciousness, the torture returned.

The ghost of the stinging pain flew through the boy’s arms and hands, making him spasm. His brows joined in frown recurrently as images with the room flashed before his eyes. When the voice of his executioner echoed in his ears, Kaneki shot his eyes open. However, instead of the nightmare turning to reality, he was met with the most beautiful girl’s face leaning over him and caressing his cheek.

“Hey, hey, I’m here,” she said. “It’s not real, you are alright,” she kept saying like a mantra until Kaneki’s ghoul eye calmed down.

The boy was covered in sweat and trembled; he gritted his teeth and fisted the blanket underneath, but he soon relaxed under Touka’s gentle touch. He exhaled profoundly and rolled over to hide his face at her chest. Out of instinct, she wrapped her arms around him and continued the motion of her hand. Across the nights since his return, Touka learned about Kaneki’s sleeping problems. She realised that depriving himself of sleep will only damage him more, therefore she swore to herself to help him sleep somehow.

As if it was not enough that he couldn’t sleep, Kaneki tried to deprive himself of food as well. Touka believed it was his foolish attempt to starve to death, to renegade his new nature. Stubborn as she was, she left food by his door every other day. If the first few times she found it still there, lately she smiled seeing the empty tray as she passed by in the morning. Although eager to do anything in her power to help the man she loved, Touka wasn’t sure how she could fight Kaneki’s inner demons. Witnessing him in that state worried her even more, but she refused to give up on him.

The episode repeated once more, when Kaneki drifted back to sleep, and this time, in his convulsive state, he hit Touka pretty hard. Sucking the pain in, she continued to caress his cheek and jawline, brush her hand through his white hair, all while whispering things like “I am here, you are not alone, Ken”, “You are safe. No one will ever harm you again”, “The pain is not real, you are alright, here, with me,” and all sorts of other promises she meant from the bottom of her heart.

The girl’s steadiness pulled through, eventually. Kaneki’s spasms decreased in number, his breathing slowed and soon, the fear dissipated from his face. Touka smiled and a tear rolled down her cheek but she caught it before it reached the boy, to prevent any disturbance. She lowered the intensity of her loving strokes and put her head back on the bed.

“Kaneki is sleeping. Nobody make a sound,” she typed in the building’s group chat with one hand, then turned the phone fully silent.

A good couple of hours later, Touka’s body turned numb. She could not close her eyes at all, she just watched over him, guarded his dreams as she promised. Fortunately, Kaneki opened his eyes and, once again, Touka was the first face he saw. He smiled instantly before he realised the room darkened from the last time he had seen it.

“Is everything ok?” The girl asked, rising on an elbow.

“Did I sleep?” Kaneki asked in return, blinking a few times to distinguish Touka’s features in the dark.

“Yes, you did. A couple of hours actually.”

He couldn’t believe it at first, but then smiled again and his at Touka’s chest from where he previously ripped himself, full of worry. This time, the girl blushed when Kaneki’s cheek and lips touched the skin of her collarbones. She held him gently, resting her chin on his shoulder.

“Thank you, Touka-chan. Thank you very much.”

“No need to, I just honoured my promise. It is really important to sleep in order to recover.”

“As important as eating?” Kaneki asked, his mouth moving close to her neck.

The girl blushed again, not only on the cause of the intimate gesture, but also for catching the reference he made to her bringing him food although he rejected it.

“Thank you for that as well. You’ve always been so kind to me, while I’ve only caused you trouble.”

The fall in his voice saddened Touka, so she resumed caressing him.

“Don’t take that upon yourself. You’re a victim, Ken. None of the things that happened were your fault. Still, you tried to fix them, in your own dangerous and solitary way. Don’t ever do that, ok? I was worried sick for you!”

She didn’t mean to sound aggressive, especially not during such a pleasant interaction, but it seemed Kaneki wasn’t bothered. He scoffed a bit, with a smile coating his lips, and he reached for Touka’s hand to hold.

“I’m sorry. I won’t leave anymore. I think I need you for a good sleep anyway.”

He was joking. In such a moment, in his condition, Kaneki was joking. But it made Touka happy. In the spur of the emotion, she pecked his cheek. The gesture surprised Kaneki. His earlier smile faded as a lot of new feelings spun in his chest, but it reappeared shortly. He brushed his nose under Touka’s jawline in a repetitive motion, and after building some courage he lifted his head from the bed and kissed the girl on her lips.

“Ken…” she whispered when they parted.

“Too much?”  Kaneki asked, blush covering his cheeks and a joy in his eyes that could contest all the earlier horrors he had been stuck on.

“Not enough,” she replied before returning the kiss.

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