#birthdayrant

Tomorrow I turning another year older this year has had more downs then up but I’m coming back I’m growing and learning to do more for me because you can’t count on people to be there like you are for them. You have a tendency to get burned well at least I do. So I am welcoming my next year with resistant arms but growth is a process and I am making progress 📸 @jaseminedenisephotography #jaseminedenisephotography #novababe #mixedgirl #birthdayrant #altmodel #iowamodel #inkedwomen #altwomen #blackgirlmagic #studiophotography #growth https://www.instagram.com/vixendomo/p/BwYRs9VHCuz/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=18cjp0f604k1a

My 19th year on this beautiful planet was heaven and hell together, though I don’t look back at it as a bad year, cause you can only grow when you’re slightly uncomfortable. I’m glad to spend another year here and am ready to see what this coming year will bring.

Reflecting on the past 28 years. I’ve accomplished a lot on a mental level. More so than any material things I have to show for. Am I where I thought I would be? No- Far from it. Do I still wake up and strive to get to where I want to be? Everyday. Some days I feel like I can only take the smallest of a step, but I’m still moving forward. I think it’s so important for us all to remember that we are not perfect and we have to sometimes tell ourselves that it’s okay. It’s okay that we aren’t exactly where we want to be. It’s ok that we’ve made a ton of mistakes in life. It’s okay that sometimes we struggle. It’s okay that things are hard. It’s okay that we mess up. It’s part of this human experience and it’s all so beautiful when we really get to experience it. The emotions, the pain, the pleasure, setbacks, come ups, happiness, sadness. What an amazing thing it is to be able to feel. 28 years of feeling and expression, and it’s written all over my soul and my life. So unique. So rare. Such an individual. I wouldn’t trade my experience for any other. Moving forward- always. On to bigger and brighter things. The future will only be as bright as you allow it to be. <3 So love yourself & allow yourself to grow and blossom into something beautiful. We all start as a seed. #birthdayrant #todayistheday #😄 #wateryoshit

**Warning: profanity used** 

Well another year has past.. well we grow old and leave the past behind. Am okay being like this, I don't have to worry about it.. I just have to treat it like that, leave it like that because I don't need that nor deserve that. Even when I know when am wrong in my own way there's also wrong in others. I can live with that at least I don't have to worry. Hakuna Matata Hakuna Matata. I can live with the memories, lessons, promises and feelings from the past year and move on from it and make something better because I don't deserve any of this. Am just here to live, have fun and be happy even if it takes a while. Because am satisfied either way.

Yup. It's my birthday! Idk how I'm gonna spend it tho. Roman's had a lot of seizures over the weekend & the idea of leaving him with my dad & his dad, so mom & I can go out makes me nervous. (It's not that they can't properly care for him, it's more of a "Roman's a cranky handful when he's feeling bad & I'm a clingy mom" issue) I think most moms of disabled children are considered clingy anyway lol. Maybe I'll just go out to dinner with my family or do a little fabric shopping later today. Hopefully both. Okay, rant over. *end transmission* #personal #birthdayrant

So, it's my birthday today. A lot has happened in the past one year. I'm drinking less - my mum is happy about this one -, I got that degree finally, and I'm working towards a career I think I'd love. This next year I want to learn to be content. And be truly happy for people who are doing better than me, not remotely jealous. In the words of Nasir Jones: 'I'm exhausted, G'