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hi if youre below the cut welcome to my twisted mind thanks for reading. once again i feel i have to make a disclaimer to those who may read that may get miffed abt different interpretations (Im covering my bases here ive been in the game long enough ok) - idc what ur headcanons abt him are i support u be whooo you areeee etc. im not here to play slapfight over headcanons over a comic series thats been dead in the water since '97 im here to play and draw ok cool

anywau. (tugs on collar) erm...johnnys views on sexuality and relationships are very interesting to me. i think alot of his repulsions of human contact comes from a mix of misanthropy + psychological issues. given he goes into those long tirades about how much he thinks the human race is rotten and people are stupid and dumb yadda yadda as well as its very evident that he is bullied by others (evident as in; we are given hints towards it subtextually. people hes had in the evil torture basement, namely krik, going as far as to admit to beating the guy up). obviously johnnys distaste for the average person is fueled by the hatred festering in his little rotten heart for the people who constantly ridicule him for being different or unwell, considering how much he yammers on about how mean mankind as a whole is to him.

i feel johnny does have a deep-seeded desire to be cared for in a romantic sense though i think he denies he does. given hes said he wishes 'someone would switch me off and fix me' and in the journal entries you find in the stare of the issues he laments over devi (even if him missing her and wishing she did actually kill him) and like a few other things im prob forgetting bc jhonens handwriting isnt rlly borderline-dyslexic friendly LMFAO. once again it circles back to the misanthropy he suffers from as well as clear distrust in others, afraid to be vulnerable both emotionally and physically.

and here i segway into the psychological problems. johnny has psychological problems? noooo way.... fork found in fork factory.

taking into account how much he talks about wanting to 'just switch off his feelings' like go ol mr samsa the cockroach and have his body piloted by instinct rather than feeling. he seems pretty obsessed with become insect-ish considering he repeatedly makes reference to metamorphosis by franz kafka and the movie the fly. maybe he just really likes bugs or is in enthralled by the concept of turning into a creature notoriously regarded for just Existing with no strings attached* . but its clear theres feeling there, that it hurts him to be so distant, to not have relationships. he says it himself. that it hurts, and thats why he wants 'to turn it off.' its clear he was upset about losing devi, that his motivations (although not right) were coming from a place of wanting to be with her but not face the pain he deemed as an 'inevitably' .

how he talks about *why* exactly he isnt keen on being intimate with others, always comparing it some sort of pain. a pain that johnny, yknow who violently kills people, wouldnt want to enact on another human being. its very interesting. as well as other his comments about such a thing. i think his repulsion comes with some sort of trauma. though he probably doesnt remember what exactly happened to him to make him feel such a way i imagine the mental scars and physical reactions to it still remain. the mind forgets but the body doesnt, yknow?

i think what makes him an interesting character in my eyes is that its not that he doesnt want those things at all, there are mental and physical roadblocks in his way so to speak, though its clear that deep inside he does want them. and it makes him fascinatingly tragic to me. im sort of bored of the interpretation of johnny as sigma male serial killer hwatever. hes clearly a tortured mentally unwell men being (or was being puppeted) by a horrible demon-beast that fed off of his and others suffering. when speaking to the devil he said that all he knew is that johnny was sick and mentally vulnerable before the demon chose him to be the vessel / servant for it and thats probably why it chose him in the first place.

and personally why i choose to perceive him this way is because when i first re-read jthm as an adult alot of what he said i really just felt sad about because i thought like him when i was at my most unwell and it was Very Scary seeing my younger self who was in a lot of pain in that guy. i think what johnny is is that hes incredibly sick and unwell, his perception of reality digging himself deeper and deeper into that misanthropic hole. and how he seems to think he cant dig his way out of it. i hope this makes sense bruhhh its almost 3am