painted crimson

how can the fruit of hell

be so tragically sweet, darling?

translucent in the sunlight

like your cheeks now

so hollow and pale

never scarlet when our gazes set

your eyes no longer sparkle

like pomegranate seeds in the sunlight

oh my darling

i fear the fruit of the dead

won't help us last

After 12 years of doing nano, and winning all but one, I am still nervous if I can do it. If this is the year I just can’t keep up the pace. But that’s the way nano always is.

The first time, I had prepped outlines and schedules. I’d never written nearly that much before so I was scared and I over prepared. I wrote twice as much as I needed and ended with 100k. Way too much. I burned out and didn’t write again for a year, but I gained confidence in my ability to do it. 

After a few years and I noticed that, after the binge writing, there was ALWAYS a crash.

I decided that wasn’t what I wanted, but I did want to get the bulk of my first draft written in november, to build up my writing habits and then KEEP WRITING.

For the last few years, I’ve had a NEW goal with nanowrimo. To get my writing going, and then to MAINTAIN my writing more steadily through the years. That means I have to be careful of burnout. If you like the bingewriting, and then not writing for months, I think that can work for you, but for me, I had to adjust nano to fit my process and my goals. 

No, my nanowrimo goals are to commit to nano, but BEND the rules so that they fit my needs.

to write regularly

to keep track of my wordcount

to increase or steady my productivity

to develop good writing habits

to engage in some sort of writing community

to work WITH the creative process that works for me

to commit to writing everyday

to push myself beyond what is easy.

That means that I do not NEED to focus on only one novel. 50k words in a month doesn’t finish a novel for me anyway. I care more about my writing process than I do on sticking to the one project rule. And forcing myself to write 1667 words on one project every day often pushes me off my story.

I want to keep writing that MUCH, I just don’t need to focus it on only one project. And I also find that by spreading my writing across different projects, I am more inspired. I don’t feel the pressure to come up with ANYTHING as long as its words, because I can switch out when my brain is working through a narrative problem or might have gotten off task.

Nanowrimo can be a great tool for getting your writing done, but it’s a lot of work, and writing is more than just bingeing. For me it’s about developing good habits, and not all of my best habits mesh with the general wisdom of nanowrimo. 

I actually encourage everyone to bend/break the rules of nano to suit your own needs. Don’t write fiction? Go ahead and do your non fiction. Want to work on multiple projects? Do it. Want to work on some revisions? Figure out a way to document the words you are getting in each day (I personally have a file where I cut and paste the new draft as I go, and I count the new draft as my new words. It turns out to take about as much time to revise as it does to write new words, so it feels fair to me.) 

There are a few rules I won’t cheat on. I won’t count any words I wrote before november. And I’m choosing not to use my essays in my wordcount... although actually if they’re substantial enough I might consider it.) My goal is to WRITE, to get down words, and to challenge myself with the pace and the daily writing.

I think I might go into world affairs or something. Maybe a journalist or an international NGO/organization worker. At the same time, I have an avid passion for the creative arts (poetry, writing, etc)

my pet peeves are: I hate it when people abbreviate even the most common words ('imp', 'hllo', 'plz' etc unless it's for humor reasons like 'pls') and also when they make A LOT of grammatical mistakes/typos and then not correct them. I also get a little annoyed when people use a lot of emojis, especially those I find cringey. And also the usual things: talking while you eat, talking loudly, being rude for no reason and being over friendly with pretty people.

Things you will dislike about 1 of your future lovers:

How they are often late

How they seem to prioritize their friends over you

How they manage their friendships (you feel they are too close to some of their friends)

How they can be kind of irresponsible

How they don't always keep promises

How they tell white lies or hide things from you

How they can be too nonchalant about some things

You can have a habit of wanting to control many aspects of the relationship, including your partner's friendships. You can be too sensitive about your partner's friendships due to your insecurities, jealousy, and desire for absolute loyalty from your partner. You have a deep fear of being betrayed or lied to. You have some insecurities about yourself including your appearance, which will affect your relationships.