#bily

“I can’t today. I really have to finish this song.” He sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes and you took the opportunity to really look at him. The dark circles you thought you’d imagined were real. His skin seemed pale, he looked worn out. “Maybe we can do something tomorrow.” He got out of bed, offered you a smile and headed out of the room.

You couldn’t help the pang of disappointment you felt as he disappeared from the room. You knew Jiyong loved you, of course he did, but you couldn’t help but feel forgotten. You never wanted to come between him and his work, you knew how he got when he felt like he was up against a wall. But something needed to change.

With a heavy sigh, you got out of bed, made yourself presentable and headed out of the house. You unfortunately couldn’t sit around waiting for him today. Work called and even if you’d been willing to call in earlier, that had changed the second Jiyong walked out of the bedroom. You knew you should stay home, save him from himself but you needed a break too. Maybe a without you hovering would help.

When you pulled into the drive that evening everything felt off. The lights were off, the lights were never off - unless you were sleeping.

“Jiyong?” You called as you entered the house, closing the front door with a soft thud.

You were greeted with silence and the soft meow of your cars. You weren’t going to worry. You weren’t worried. You kept telling yourself that as you wandered the house in search of him. Where the fuck was he?

You paused outside the door to his studio, you’d never gone in there before. Not that you couldn’t, it just was so very him that you didn’t want to disturb his sanctuary. You pressed your ear up to the door but it was useless, the room was so soundproofed you couldn’t hear a thing..

The site that unfolded in front of you hadn’t been what you’d expected. There on the couch in the sound booth was your boyfriend passed out clutching what appeared to be lyrics. So that was why the house was dark, he hadn’t bothered to leave the studio once. You moved the papers out of his hands, careful not to read any of his work and shook him awake.

“Hey” he smiled as his eyes locked with yours. “What are you doing in here?” You moved to sit down next to him and shrugged.

“The house was dark. I didn’t know where you were.” He scooted slowly, to sit next to you.

“I’m sorry I worried you, I must’ve passed out. I’ve not been sleeping well.” He admitted. Your head snapped looking over at him, worry etched in your brows. “See, that look right there is why I didn’t tell you. You don’t need to worry about me.” You frowned, reaching a hand out to touch him.

“Talk to me. What’s going on with you?” You should’ve asked sooner, but you’d been hoping you were over reacting.

He let out a sigh, shaking his head as he broke eye contact with you.

“I keep thinking if I write the right song, the best song, he’ll read it and come back.”

You could hear the pain in his voice, and it made you want to protect him from ever feeling this way again. His best friend was doing what he thought was best for everyone - which couldn’t be further from the truth.

“I don’t think it’s that simple, oppa.” Seunghyun had been your friend too and you weren’t blind to the void that he left behind. “Seunghyun needs time to heal, he didn’t leave because he wanted to. He left because he felt he had to.” You eyed the sheet holding the lyrics Jiyong has been working on. “Can I read it?”

He nodded and handed the lyrics over. Any other girl might be jealous of such heartfelt feelings being written about someone else but not you. You understand their relationship, he’d come first. They’re more than best friends, they were family and both of them were hurting.

“It’s perfect.”

“You’re biased” he smirked, taking the paper back and tucking it into his pocket.

“Maybe, but it’s still perfect. You should record it.” He shook his head.

“It’s not Bigbang without him.” You offered up a reassuring smile, a playful glint in your eye,

“So make it GD.”

You hardly ever referred to him as his stage name and he smiled before hiding his face with his hands. There he was. That shy adorable guy you loved so much.

“Maybe.” He yawned, stretching his arms before standing up. “Thank you for this. I should’ve told you sooner.” You shook your head.

“Don’t worry about it. Just know you’re not alone, ok?”

He nodded. reaching his arm out to you, helping you to your feet.

“I’m sorry if I’ve been acting not myself lately, I just don’t know how to let people in fully. I get in my head and think I have to do it all alone.” He apologized as he led you both out of the studio. Turning on the lights as he went.

“You’re not alone. I’m always going to be here for you. Even if you don’t want to talk about whatever’s going on, I’m still here.”

You gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, wishing you could take all his pain away. He pulled you toward him, a small smile on his face. Not his big grin you’d grown to love over the years but it was a start.

“I love you. He mumbled before pulling you in for a kiss.

“I love you too.” You smiled against his lips.