#bigender reader

Now he tried to guess what was bothering you multiple times. He watched the way you acted, noticing small little things at first. You wore more masculine clothes, staying away from the clothes considered "feminine" despite him knowing you enjoyed them too. You were his beautiful little darling that enjoyed the best of both worlds and mixed them up too. It wasn't unusual for you to stick to clothes considered "masculine," but it did make him somewhat wonder if there were a reason for it. Nothing seemed too out of the ordinary though. Even when you began wearing sports bras. Valentino could tell right away. He had an eye for chests and that includes if any sort of fashion was accentuating them or suppressing them. And he could tell you were wearing sports bras pretty regularly once again. It wasn't the most unusual thing, but it did make him curious if there was a reason for it.

Well today, he wanted you to come with him out to run some errands. He wanted his pretty little baby boy with him as always. You were his favorite little darling to take out and you were the one he considered his lover, his special little amorcito.

Once you were ready, he pulled you close with one of his lower arms as his upper arm began petting your fluffy hair. You were perfect and you looked perfect in the special outfit you picked out.

"Do you have everything you need, amorcito~?" Valentino asked with a purr.

"Yeah! I'm ready." You chimed back. God you were so cute and pleasant, so fucking easy for him to deal with and love. He wanted to eat you up so bad, but no. He couldn't right now at least. He had to spoil you.

As you two approached the tower's entrance, he held you closer to him. He knew what awaited outside. It was always the same considering how famous all three of the overlords here were. There were always SOME paparazzi dying for a story. You stepped out and were bombarded with the ones allowed inside the gates. Valentino kept up his smile as he held you close. He looked charming and handsome on the outside, but inside he was pretty pissed. God. Even in hell you couldn't escape the shitbags in the paparazzi. If it was up to him, he'd shoot them all. But that's not exactly something you want to do, especially considering their images they maintained to the media. Besides. Valentino did like when they'd gossip about him sometimes. It was you he was worried about. You weren't used to the fame. You weren't used to the flashing cameras and the people all crying out. Journalists or paparazzi, they both pissed him off. His upper hands covered your sensitive ears, not wanting you to be overwhelmed. You could still hear though. You heard everyone ask him about his girlfriend, who she was, what did he think of her, was she someone special.

"She's the prettiest sinner I've ever seen! How did you manage to get her?!" One voice called out.

You could feel it welling up. It was like being bombarded with misgendering. You couldn't take it. You think of a reason, claiming you left something and you had forgotten about it. It wasn't unusual for you considering your forgetful mind. So you excused yourself and headed inside.

Maybe it was a plausible excuse, but Valentino knew you. He knew you too well. Had you gotten overwhelmed? Did the crowd of reports make you freak out? Was it anxiety or a panic attack? He had to find out. He didn't care about any of the journalists. He headed back inside to go find you. He knew the way you looked when you were upset, that look in your eyes even if you tried to be so polite. Even if he didn't know you personally, you were a very expressive person. You couldn't hide those emotions.

He heads back upstairs to find you. Nothing else mattered. Only you did. He wanted to take you out, to spoil you, to make you happy. What was it that he wasn't seeing here? Valentino searched the penthouse for you, wondering where you could be. He cursed softly to himself in Spanish. But then he heard it. Your soft crying. You being unable to silence it fully, but still trying to not cry too loud. Valentino followed the sound and found you at your room, the one he set up for you in the penthouse. So you could still have your own space to set up and go to. He opened the door, not a giving a shit about knocking or privacy.

"Baby doll." He spoke softly. "What's wrong?"

You look over, startled by his appearance. Quickly, you try to wipe away the tears. But it was too late anyway. He had seen you crying. Valentino walked over and took a seat on the bed, pulling you close as he looked at you with concern, a rare thing for Valentino to show.

"It's nothing...forget it..." You said.

"Don't fucking try that shit with me. Do you really want to keep fucking hiding whatever is bothering you? I know you fucking don't. So just tell me." Valentino had no time for your bullshit of "my feelings don't matter, I don't wanna bug you." He was worried. He needed to know why you had been so messed up.

And he was right. So you told him all about it. Everything. The misgendering. The dysphoria. The feeling crazy for even being upset. How much it hurt. How much it felt like you were only a girl. Valentino comforted you the entire time. Petting you, playing with your ears, your tail, your fur. All of it.

So that's why you had been presenting more masculine. Valentino had so many emotions in him, thoughts swirling. He felt bad for you, but also angry.

"It's all just bullshit." Was all he said at first. You didn't know what he meant. But he finally continued.

"People can tell I'm a guy most of the time. Some 'straight' men will assume I'm some girl, but most everyone knows I'm a guy even when I wear makeup or a dress. But then to be seen as a boy, you have to put in all this fucking effort? All of it is bullshit. Maybe we should just stop fucking assuming based on what we see. Not like there's tons of people who don't conform. Even fucking cis people."

Valentino grabbed your face, holding your squishy cheeks, forcing you to look at him.

"Those assholes ain't worth your time. You're a boy. You're both. You will always be both. It shouldn't be that you have to dress boy just to be seen as a girl. You shouldn't be decided as a girl by your fucking soft face or your fucking tits. These tits are just as much boy tits as they are girl tits. They are whatever the fuck you want them to be. You are whatever the fuck you say and feel."

"Your gender doesn't have to make sense to anyone but you. If you use more than one pronouns, people should use them for you. They shouldn't just see you as what they decide because it's 'not misgendering cause you use them.' It's all bullshit. You're a boy in dresses. You're a girl in a binder. Same as any cis person could be."

Most of all, Valentino wanted to see you happy. He just...wanted you to be happy.

"I don't know what a solution is. But I will make sure they know that you aren't just a fucking girl. That they will respect you as my boyfriend. That they won't just get to decide what you are cause you use those pronouns or cause you have a soft, feminine appearance. It's all bullshit. No one should be lumped in there."

"I just. I don't think it'll stop. People need to shift their own thinming. But I will make it clear. And if you have preferred pronouns one day, if you're feeling really dysphoric, you can let me know. I want you to wear dresses and feel like a boy. To be able to do whatever you want and still feel like you."

Valentino leaned in to kiss you so sweetly. You were his. You were his baby. His precious little boy. His pretty boy. His handsome girl. His everything in between. He wished he could take all the dysphoria away, that it wouldn't bother you. But he couldn't. So he would do all he could to make sure you felt euphoric. That no matter what, you could be happy with your body. That you could live free.

"I will stick up for you when you can't. I'll make sure people know to use ALL your pronouns. And if anyone has anything to say against it, they answer to me." Valentino looked down at you, wanting to just kiss you again and again. "I hope I can always be someone that makes you feel euphoric. That you know I will always see you how you want to be seen. Even if no one else does." His lower hands took yours. You were perfect. So perfect. He wiped your tears away. He just wanted to see you happy.

You had no words. You cried more now, feeling so loved. And all you could utter was "thank you" and "I love you, Valentino." Valentino hugged you close, taking good care of you.

...

"I wasn't called pretty today!"

"..huh?"

A red flush rose to Jame's cheeks at his claim, yeah something as simple as that had put him in such a depressing mood. To his friends, they thought that James was overreacting, just a tad.

"(Y/N) calls me pretty every day," he whines a bit. "And he hasn't yet."

Loga was the first was to come out of his confusion.

"Okay wait," his friends turn to look at him. "So because your girlfriend didn't compliment you today."

"You decide to be all sad and pouty," Kendall continues.

"Yes," James sighs. "Is it so bad that I want my boyfriend to call me pretty?"

Before they could say anything, James interrupted them.

"And before you can say anything, it has been two," he holds up two fingers to express his point. "Two whole days that she hasn't called me pretty."

"So now I'm sad," he leans back in his chair with a pout.

Logan, Kendall, and Carlos share a slightly concerned glance. Carlos was the first to suggest his solution.

"Do you want us to call you pretty?"

"No!"

"Okay quick team meeting," Kendall whispers to the only ones, not in a pouty mood.

The boys leave the pool, and into the lobby, Kendall standing in front of the shorter boys.

"Okay so what are gonna do about," he point to the bandmate curled up on the pool chair. "The sad James Diamond?"

"Yeah, his unnatural sad mood, is kind of concerning," Logan comments.

"But if he doesn't was us", Carlos moves a finger between the three of them. "To call him pretty then what do we do?"

"How about we do the smartest thing we can think of," Kendall says.

"Well I guess that we can grab (Y/N) from Roque Records, bring him here and that'll bring James out of his sad mindset," Logan and out.

"Do you really Gustavo is going to let her go like that," questions Carlos.

"No," replies Kendall. "And if he doesn't we'll just sneak him out."

"Right," Logan comments.

"Sounds easy enough," adds Carlos.

As they stand in front of the producer they always wonder where their confidence goes, it's like the man has a confidence remover superpower. Mustering up his confidence Kendall, unsurprisingly, was the first to say something.

"So, Gustavo we know that (Y/N)'s been working hard in the studio for the last two or so days," hesitance is clear in his tone.

"And we were wondering if we could kinda, sorta," Logan continues. "Take her away for a little bit."

"Sure," the producer says after a beat of silence.

Yet that goes unheard for a bit, as the boys start yelling excuses.

"Wait did you say yes," now realization had hit them.

"Yes, yes I did," Gustavo agreed.

"Listen, guys," Kelly's voice gains their attention. "(Y/N) has been working since last night, and he needs some rest."

"Let me shorten Kelly's long-winded excuse," he interrupts. "(Y/N) hasn't left this building, so go and take her to her apartment and let her rest."

The boys haven't moved from their spot.

"What are you waiting for?"

"We have no idea of where he is," Logan speaks up.

"Oh, he's in Studio B," states.

Kelly and Gustavo watch as the boys scramble out of the office, shaking their heads with small smiles.

(Y/N) watches as Carlos, Logan, and Kendall tumble into the small studio from the sound booth.

Pressing a button, she leans into the mic speaking into it.

"Hello boys," said boys look towards the booth that holds the very person that they were looking for. "I'm guessing that you looking for me."

"In fact, we are," Kendall smirks.

"Yeah, we kinda need you to come to the Palm Woods," Logan rushes out.

"Yeah, James is sad," Carlos adds.

"Wait, why is he sad," (Y/N) says as he rushes out of the booth.

"He needs you to complement him," Logan explains.

"More so, he needs to you to call him pretty," Kendall adds.

"Well, what are we waiting for," she starts. "Let's go."

The group ran to the Palm Woods, in search of their usually flamboyant friend. And there he was still sitting in the same pool chair, hair wet and a towel around his neck. He'd probably gone for a swim to clear his head, it didn't do much. They don't know if his eyes are watering from the chlorine or just plain sadness.

Either way, the sight still made (Y/N)'s heart break a whole lot.

"I know this might sound rude," she started. "But damn does he look pitiful."

"Tell me about it," the boys say.

"Alright, so he wants me to compliment him," (Y/N) asks, speaking clarification.

"Yes, because apparently, you didn't complete your daily dose of," Logan's voice turns sarcastic. "Ego fuelling "

"Don't be rude to baby like that," (Y/N) punched Logans' arm.

"Anyway," interrupted Kendall. "You need to go fix James, make him all..."

"Sparkly," Carlos whispers dramatically.

"Exactly," the other hockey players agree.

"Alrighty boys," the designated boyfriend cracks his knuckles. "Let me do my thang," (Y/N) started walking towards his pouty boyfriend.

As the boys watch their friend heads toward her boyfriend.

"Should we leave them be," Carlos asks as he watches (Y/N) sit next to James.

"Yeah, this seems kinda personal," Logan agrees as he leads his friends away from the pool.

Moving the attention to (Y/N) and James.

"Hey James," the gentle call of his life breaks James out of his mood. (Y/N) pretty much saw his boyfriend's eyes sparkle when he saw him.

"(Y/N)," he cheers. But his mood quickly sours. "Where were you?"

A long sigh passed (Y/N)'s lips. She didn't mean to work for as long as she did, promise. But when an idea strikes, you have to do something about it or you lose it. And it took two days of work to make sure that every detail is written down.

"Well, you know me when it comes to work bubs," James preens a bit at the nickname. "When I start working, I just can't stop," a chuckle passes (Y/N)'s melanin lips.

But a slight frown bleeds onto his lips again, and he softly grabs James' face. He leans into his hands as a little smile dances onto his lips.

"But seriously," she whispers as she makes their forehead touch, eyes connected. "I'm so sorry, sparkles," the boy huffs at the name. "Can my pretty boy forgive me," she rubs their noses together, his slightly wet, and eyes closed.

A smile breaks on her face at the bashful giggles from her boyfriend.

"I don't know," James backs up a little bit. "Does my boyfriend deserve an apology," sarcasm laced his voice.

"Oh, so that means that I can return the flowers I bought?"

"Wait, flowers," he watches as she pulls out a bouquet of camellias and roses, his favorites, from behind her back.

"Yeah," James gently takes the flowers from your hand with a flustered face. "I saw them on my way here, and I knew they were your favorite," (Y/N) could feel the heat rise in his cheeks. "So of course I just had to get them."

A beat of silence passes between them.

"Well, with your apologies," James' voice comes out as a whisper. "And these amazing flowers," he practically shoves his nose into the bouquet. "How can I say no?"

"You can never say no," she teases. She quickly places herself in front of James, in his chair. Her hands grab his face again, the force making him drop the flowers in his lap.

" 'cause my handsome man," he squeezes James's cheeks. "Says no way too much."

"So what am I supposed to say?" James's speech is a bit muffled due to his face being slightly pressed.

"Nothing," she sighs. "Just sit pretty and receive my compliments."

A smug smile crawls on his lips, "I can do that," he murmurs.

"Well, I do have two whole days to catch up on," she eye rolled affectionately.

And thus the smothering begins

"my boy is handsome," a kiss on his forehead.

"beautiful," eyebrow kiss.

"gorgeous," eyelid kiss.

"sparkly," kisses on his cheekbones with muted giggles.

"strong," chin kiss.

"confident," nose kiss. "A bit too much," James lets out an appalled squawk.

"and last of all," the words are a bit murmured by their lips brushing against another.

"my," small peck, "pretty," longer peck, "boy." Then a long passionate kiss to seal the deal, a kiss filled with nothing but love and adoration for one another.

"Do you feel better, my prince?"

"Yeah," he gazes at his boyfriend; eyes full of love. "I am, and I'll always be."

fin

I personally see Aizawa as someone who's bisexual but doesn't give himself a label. For you being bigender, he isn't bothered at all.

When he sees you express as more masculine than feminine, or vice versa, he doesn't really pay much mind to it. He thinks you are incredible no matter what you wear or the gender roles you assume.

Explaining your gender identity can be scary, and Aizawa is a very direct person about his opinions about things. When he assured you that he takes your gender identity seriously, it was a weight off your shoulder.

He will actively ask how he can make sure that you are comfortable. He's not ignorant.

That applies to your physical presentation but also to your personality. So he doesn't care at all if you're being "girly" or "one of the guys," that's not how he is. He appreciates you as you are.

He is supportive, and if he's going to meet people with you, his eraserhead mindset makes him protective of you and he is always paying attention to how others treat you.

Corrects pronouns like no one's business

He will stick up for you if anyone misgenders you, make no mistake of that

And if someone tries to invalidate you, his stare is enough to get them to start walking

Some people who are bigender mask in public or in general, and if you did, he'd understand that. He'd respect your wishes, and when you two are in a more domestic location, he'll address you as what you want him to call you, and lets you be yourself without having to worry that he doesn't see you the same way than when you're "being the other gender."

He secretly thinks you're cute as fuck, but will hardly ever admit it (he'll insinuate it, he can get flirty when he's feeling bold).

This guy has no fashion sense most of the time, but he thinks your style flatters you, and it's easy for you to seduce him sometimes. When you both get home and he's feeling it, he'll start to lecture you, but he isn't disappointed in you in the slightest.

"Do you have any idea how handsome/pretty you've been today?" in a teasing tone.

You'll feign ignorance (tho it turns you on so bad).

"No, you just constantly have to be a brat, huh?"

It gets spicy from then on out. Shouta's sex drive isn't high, but when he knows he has time to kill, he'll rizz you up so bad

He'll have you thinking, "Aizawa?? Are you there??"

Aizawa is big, and so anal sex can cause anxiety, but he's patient and makes sure you're as comfortable as you can be. He'd never pressure you.

Sex can be complicated as someone who isn't on the binary, but Aizawa is here to listen and learn. He's sexually aroused by people no matter their anatomy, so he's open to whatever you're comfortable with. Sex isn't simply penis and vagina, and he knows that.

If you have a penis and aren't comfortable bottoming on a physical level, he's ok with being the recipient. He's a dom-leaning switch, in my opinion. But if you want him inside of you, he is obliging.

The same goes for vaginal sex. He wants to meet your needs because he loves you and wants you to enjoy having sex with him.

He'll make sure to address you properly and ask what you call your genitals and other body parts. Pronouns and pet names are also on his priority when making sure you're comfortable. He'd never want to make you dysphoric

He's proud of you. For everything. Having the courage to be yourself in a world that has a limited view about gender takes guts, and he reminds you of that when you're feeling dysphoric. He'll do everything in his power to support you

He will also completely support you if you decide that HRT or further is something that would affirm your identity better. Will never give you the "I miss who you were" schpeel because that's irrational and he doesn't feel that way, you are who you've always been to him.

He'll notice when you start showing changes and will probably avoid drawing attention to it unless he knows you want to hear him compliment your progress. He thinks you're wonderful with every passing day.

You were assigned female at birth, and you were currently sitting at the corner of the room you were first given before you slept with your lady, rocking yourself as you try so hard to push aside your thoughts, covering yourself in blankets plus blankets plus more blankets, with your arms crossing over your chest as you sobbed away. You hated your chest, you hated your curves, your hair, your face, your legs- EVERYTHING.

You hated the fact that you were reminded of a girl, Alcina would compliment you, and as much as you appreciate her comments, she was unintentionally misgendering, and you were suffering in your own silence. You couldn't tell her you were having a body dysphoria, you couldn't tell this 1900s vampire that you were suffering from your own demise, you were terrified at the idea of her knowing. You didn't want her to know, you didn't want her to be tainted with the knowledge that defined barely coming onto the surface of human knowledge in the west and the castle in the east...she was not going to accept you...like them.

Sometimes you can hide, and hold off your discomfort, your need to cry, your disappointment and your broken heart coming undone, but this time you couldn't. You were stuck in this castle with 4 women, stuck in castle like a...damsel in distress.

You quickly covered your mouth and muffled your screams as you cried and cried.

Alcina could hear a heart pumping rapidly, like a stressed human, and she thought it was her daughters killing a maiden. She stood still as she carried the glass of wine in her left hand, lifted so elegantly while she read a book in her right hand, trying her best to distract herself until one of her daughters knocked on the door. Bela entered the door, relieved to see her alone, and saving herself from a punishment.

"Mother, is (Y/N) alright?" She asked.

Immediately concerned, Alcina turned her head slightly to glance at Bela, "What did you say?"

"(Y/N), she's in distress."

"So that isn't a maiden you're prepping for a new bottle?" She asked, clarifying as remained in her seat. She would run if she could, but her habits won her over as she saw Bela shake her head, "I thought it was a trespasser, Mother. Cassandra and Daniela are currently outside, and I wanted to find the intruder, but no one is here."

"Thank you, Bela. Go to your sisters, I will go find her." She instructed.

"Yes, Mother." Bela turned and closed the door behind her before going to her sisters.

Alcina immediately stood up, placed the glass on the short table in front of her before looking for you.

You were currently gripping at your chest, expanding the shirt until you heard ripping cloth, clutching at your head, your sobs getting more desperate and sorrowful. Your arms flailed around as you slapped yourself, scratched yourself, your body having a pressured sensation that worsened your flails, at one point drawing some blood. You gasped upon viewing the cuts on your arm, viewing your multiple fresh cuts. You brought your arm to your lips and licked at your blood, drawing more and causing more tears and sobbing. Your leg bounced to release some anxiety out of your system, only to flail once again.

The door opened and your eyes shot up, widening as you noticed who it was.

Alcina opened the door, not only to sense your heart beating, but the smell of blood awoke her maternal instincts. It was your blood in her nostrils and she wasn't even feeding from you, she thought you were in danger. She knew she wasn't your mother, but you have mentioned in the pass how your relationship with your family was almost nonexistent, and it saddens her in a way that you didn't have the relationship like her daughters have with her.

Her eyes widen in shock, her lips parted as her eyes landed on you, your body covered in the blankets, but your face filled with tears, sadness, and pain.

"(Y/N)!" She shrieked, strolling towards before she stopped in her tracks upon seeing how you reacted.

You whimpered, turning your head down and facing the wall, avoiding her stare, pulling the blankets for your comfort.

"...(Y/N)..." She whispered, "What happened? Who did this to you?" Her anger raised, ready to strike at whoever did this to you.

She was going to be mad at you, she was going to be mad at you, mad at you, mad at you-

"(Y/N), who, did, this, to, yo-" She spoke with pause, not taking your silence as answer. She didn't like to be ignored, but the sake of knowing who hurt her precious draga, she would mutilate them until they suffered a bloo-

"Me!-" You shouted, interrupting her thoughts, crying in shame, covering your face with the blanket. Alcina can see some of you, her expression in pure shock as she found out, "...(Y/N), if you're lying to me-"

"I'm not..." You whimpered, cowering into the cornered wall.

"Can I know why?" She reached her hand towards your body, finding your arm and squeezing lightly in comfort as you yelped in pain, causing her to flinch and bring back her hand. She was confused, but silently heartbroken to see you like this. What caused you to end up like this?

Her tone immediately calmed, using her comforting tone, "Princess-"

"Don't call me that!-" You cried out, clawing your head, your arms covering your ears, "Anhthinganythinganythinganything but that!" You trembled.

Alcina was beginning to get stressed, but she remained still, and her expression remained unreadable. She waited until you were able to speak, able to look at her.

However...when she saw an impulsive swat on your body, she immediately grabbed your wrists, her other hand held you from the blankets, pulling you closer, "I do not tolerate self-harm, (Y/N)." She warned, sternly. She had to maintain a strong look, even if it hurt her to see you in such a state.

She said your name...your name...the name you chose, the name she says when she's worried about you. Alcina saying your name had such a bliss feeling to it, it was relieving to hear it.

"...a-..again..." You stuttered, tired, your exhaustion showing as you struggled to raise your face, to look into her yellow eyes, "Please...say my name..." your tear up once again, your lips trembled lightly.

Alcina stared at you for a moment, your pleads were of desperation, and she was going to give you what you need, "...(Y/N)..."

Your lips curled ever slightly, but noticed by Alcina.

"Again...please." You plead, trying so hard to hold on, glancing at her with your heavy-lidded eyes.

Alcina carefully lowered your arms as she placed her gloved hand against your cheek, you leaning towards her touch, breathing low, on the brink of passing out. She leaned closed and kissed your other cheek, "(Y/N), my human..." she whispered against your ear. Your eyes shot wide, your lips parting slightly as they trembled as you weren't expecting her to say the last part. You didn't think you would have tears left to cry, but you raised your tired arms, muscles also trembling as you wrapped them around her neck, pulling yourself to her in a desperate, needed, and a thankful hug, crying softly against her shoulder.

Alcina wrapped her arms securely on you, one hand placed on the back of your head, She raised herself, holding you close, "Rest, draga mea." She whispered, feeling your body limp, your arms falling to your sides.

She took you to her chambers, a need to see for herself what injuries you sustained. She laid you on the bed, and already noticed something that upset her. The shirt you had on was not only ripped, nearly shredded, but you had scratches on your abdomen, your chest. Alcina removed your shirt and proceeded to take care of you, leaning down to lay gentle kisses on your warm skin. She can taste the blood from the scratches, fortunately they were shallow, but to have drawn blood on your beautiful body, what happened? Where you no longer happy to be with her?

Until she remembered your voice,

...Again...please....

And the way you reacted to her calling you a human, to say she was confused was an understatement, she was beyond bewildered.

It took a while before she finished healing your scratches, from your body, to your face. She sighed softly, peppering your face with her loving kisses. Your unconscious state would remain the same, but it hurt to see you in that state while she took take of care of you. It reminded her of something common, but never wanting it to occur on you, "(Y/N)...what happened?" She asked out loud, more to herself than to you. Instead she walked to her closet before returning and sliding you in a silk robe, hoping for the best comfort and tucking you in the bed. She would have to send some maidens to the previous room to clean up the mess, but she was now preoccupied with staying by your side. She was going to know what happened, and why you reacted in such a manner.

~

When you woke up, tired, your eyes blinking slowly before you started feeling your body, immediately closing your eyes and biting your lip softly to hold back tears. Instead, you closed your hand in to fists, and opened them slowly, not even wanting to focus on your body. You made her sad, disappointed, upset. She no longer wants to be with-

"Darling, you're awake." Alcina sits next to you on the bed, reaching forward and wiping a traveling tear on your cheek, "Why are you crying, draga mea, talk to me..."

You sobbed softly as you raised your hands to your face to hide your shame.

"If you don't talk to me, I will never know how I can assist you." She pointed it out.

You took a deep breath, only to gather more air and breathe out in small increments to control your breathing.

Your eyes travelled to your lady's eyes, those beautiful yellow eyes, and you noticed something different about them.

"Al...Alcina..." you shook your head softly as you closed your eyes softly, "I can't...I'm too scared." Your hand reached to your face, and Alcina takes your other hand, her thumb rubbing lightly on it, "There is no reason to be scared, iubere mea, only you are scared. There is nothing you say that will upset me, nothing." She reassured, placing down your hand and reaching forward to curl a few hairs behind your ear, an excuse to touch you reassuringly, "Nothing." She repeated.

Despite her demeanor, her confidence, her elegance, her passion, and her grace, she wouldn't lie to you. You just knew.

You take a shaky breath, reaching forward to get a hold of her hand, Alcina responding by squeezing it lightly, comfortingly resting on the bed.

You confessed, saying that you didn't feel as though you belonged to being described with feminine attributes, but you also didn't feel you belonged purely to the masculine attributes. You were neither a woman or a man. You explained to her how long you have kept hidden the fact, and how your current name, (Y/N) is the name you chose because it suited better than your previous, assigned name. You were open about how your family disowned you for the shame that you supposedly brought upon them, and how they dismissed your feelings as they referred to you with she/her pronouns, forcing you into female clothing, and how your lady would say those things and you were forced to hide yourself in fear of how she would react, afraid that she would kick you out if she found out.

Alcina felt a tremble from you, and her expression never changed, she was thinking, long and hard, "Hm, well, this is quite a predicament..." She stated, lifting a finger to her chin, "And I am ashamed for not knowing about this, but will you teach me more about this?" She asked, smiling small.

Your heart beat fast, but not in the stressful way, in the unexpectedly way, and how you couldn't help contain a smile. You nodded proudly, "Yes, I will." Smiling brightly at her, "Thank you, Alcina, thank you so much." you tear up once more, only for the overwhelming joy you felt. Alcina removed her heels for a moment and laid beside you, hushing you gently as she began to ask questions such as a term that can describe your gender identity, how she would refer to you, the nicknames you prefer, the nicknames you would prefer to stay away from, how to handle your body dysphoria, how to deal with misgendering, and your fashion sense.

As Alcina gained more knowledge, she couldn't help but ask, "Sweetheart, babes..." She tested out a few pet names which you loved so much, "If you knew from what period I was, why didn't you take advantage that I didn't know such thing?"

You quirked your eyebrow, "Hm?..." You tilted your head slightly, "What?"

"You could have said you like specific pet names, and how you like to dress a certain way. You already told me your name without me knowing of your previous name, why didn't you make more progress like that to help you with your discomfort?" She asked.

"Well...hm...I feel like you would be suspicious of me lying, or hiding things from you...and I wouldn't have the chance to explain so much...like I did right now...and sometimes I did like some feminine pet names, but my discomfort got the best of me." You explained as you can, "It feels so good to finally get everything out, and it feels even better that you are still with me."

"Oh, but, iubere mea, I would never reject you for who you are, it is why I am with you in the first place, dear." She kissed the top of your head, "You are, (Y/N), a strong and carrier of a golden heart, caring, but you are stuck by the chains of your past. I am not like the people who left you, you can be open about yourself at any point with me. You are allowed to be vulnerable and I will never turn away from your needs. I will always return your affections and I will always keep you safe. You do not ever have to put on a façade with me simply because I am from a different time period."

She saw you tear up once again and you hugged her tighter, Alcina returning the tight embrace. It was new to her, having to be so open with her feelings with anyone that wasn't her quill and a paper, but how could she hold in that stuff when you gave her such an important piece of yourself, and she was to be honest at the moment. She took a deep breath and used the hug as an excuse to let you know how she also felt.

You were so nervous, terrified even. You didnt even know how this was going to go down. You decided to come out to your boyfriend, Light Yagami, and you knew he was a kind person but…you can never be too sure. This was so nerve wracking. You felt like you were going to throw up, you arms felt weak, you just felt sick. You took a deep breath.

You: I have something to tell you. Can we meetup?

You sent the text. Ding. You pick up your phone to see his text.

Light: of course. Where do you want to talk?

You: just at my house.

Light: okay, be right there.

Okay…that wasnt so bad. You spoke too soon because a few minutes later you hear a knock. Crap. You werent ready for this, why did you think you were ready? Calm down. You go to open the door and see Light. You smile, forgetting your anxieties for only a moment before it comes crashing back when he asks: “so, what did you want to talk about (name)?” Oh. Right. “Oh…uhm. I just wanted to say something important.” Light nodded. “Okay… may i come in so we can sit down?” You step back to let him in.

He goes to sit down on a couch. “You look worried, what’s wrong?” You look down and play with the end of your shirt. “This isn’t easy to say but uh…” You walk over to the couch and sit next to him. “I don’t want you to see me differently. I’m still me just a little different. Well… very. Very different. If you want to leave then I understand and I won’t stop you.” Light sat there listening intently. “Go on” you pause for a moment. “I am… bigender and i go by he/she.” Light looked surprised for a moment. “I see.” You nervously start shaking your leg. Your thoughts start to race with all the negative possibilities.

“(Name)? (Name)!” You snap out of your thoughts. “Are you okay? Hey, hey, hey, calm down… just breathe, okay?” Light holds your hands as you take a couple deep breaths. “Okay… okay. I’m calm.” You say after a few minutes. “Look at me,” he says while tilting your chin towards him. “I’d never… never leave you just because your identity changed, okay? You are valid and I love you, (name). I love you.” He pulled you into a hug. Tears start to prick your eyes as you hug him tightly back.

.

.

Vox had a rule to not use his hypnotic eye on a partner. Sure, it may come out when he's upset or emotional passionate, but he would never use it to force you to tell him what's wrong. Respecting your space too, Vox would often just keep an eye on things. He'd ask once in a while what's wrong, but he didn't always enjoy having to coax it out of you. So he'd wait until you were more ready to tell him.

So there you were. Getting ready for your date. He was just in the living room, waiting for you. He was already ready. Since he already wore a suit daily, it never took him long to get changed, rainbow socks still on beneath his fancy pants. He sees you come out, smiling at seeing that beautiful person he knew and loved. God, Vox *loved* that masculine look on you. It was true for any look, but he knew you felt extra special presenting masculine sometimes. He loved his little boi toy pet. He did notice you were dressing more masculine lately, but Vox wrote it off as you just feeling more like that lately. Little did he know that was a sign of what was bothering you.

So he took you out to a nice restaurant. It was a somewhat fancy place, but he focused mostly on the food. After all, the way to your heart was through your stomach and you loved some good food. So he was happy to spoil your stomach with some good ass food.

As he brought you in, the waiter took you to your tables.

"Table for Mr. Vox and his girlfriend."

It stung. But you didn't want to make it a thing. You used the word girlfriend after all. How could you be mad at someone using it? But it stung still. The way it felt like they looked at you as if you were only a girl. Even in your most masculine state, as hard as you tried, you felt as if they looked at you and just saw you as girl, woman, female. It was just an added weight on the pile of people only referring to you using she/her, very rarely sometimes they/them, almost never he/him. Even when a pronoun pin showed it. You hated it. Like because of your soft face or the fact that you had boobs or that you were short, they only saw "girl" "woman" "female." It made you feel crazy. How could you be mad at what you technically were? You were bigender after all. But you still knew what it felt like. The difference between someone seeing you as bigender when using "she" and someone seeing you as ONLY what you were assigned at birth. An event that meant so little and could even be changed for some people. Yet they still saw you as only that.

Vox just sat down, unaware of the stormy turmoil in your mind. He noticed the way you stared off, something you always did when upset. But he couldn't even begin to know why. Did the waiter glance at your chest? Did he make you uncomfortable in any way? Did he say something to you that Vox must have missed?

"Darling. What do you think you'll want?" Vox asked as he reached his hand over to hold yours. You didn't respond right away. Immediately he clocked it, knowing it was another sign you were unhappy. Had the trouble really followed you here?

Some familiar folks to Vox came up to the table before Vox could even ask what was on your mind. They chatted up Vox mostly, but referred to how cute his girlfriend was, even asking who did her hair. But they asked him. As if you couldn't even answer for yourself. He glanced over at you, willing to let you answer. You were out of it, but you answered that you had done it. Your smile seemed sincere enough to the people. But he knew that smile was rehearsed. It was one you had gotten used to doing between living with your family and working customer service before. A waitress came by to take the drink orders, complimenting you and saying how cute you look. Telling Vox how lucky he is to have her. Still Vox was unaware.

When it was finally time they got some fucking peace, he gently probed you for answers.

"So, darling. You've been rather out of it lately." Vox began. You looked up at him. You were surprised he could see through you, even though this was a normal thing. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong or are you just going to keep being in your head about it?" To others, his words probably would have come off as cruel, possibly even mocking. But to you, you knew he was just cutting to the chase. He didn't do emotions in the dancing around them way. He got right to it. It was something you actually appreciated about him. He could see through you, he didn't judge you, and he got right to it. And still, he would coddle you and be soft with you if you needed it.

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't." He gave you a look. You knew why.

"Right. Um." You tried to find the words. "Can I...type it to you?"

"Yeah. Go ahead. If it's that private, then do it."

Vox always was so blunt, but it came from a place of sincerity. You knew that. You knew he cared deeply, that he wanted to make things better, that he was showing you his respect. You preferred it anyway. The blunt nature of him versus the played up schmoozing he did with others with that practiced, charismatic smile. He was being real and raw with you here. No need to play games or fake emotional care. You knew he loved you and he would quite literally kill all of hell for you. You knew him and what he was like. Just as much as he knew you so well.

So. You typed it out. Your feelings. The dysphoria you had been experiencing. How every bit of she and her and miss and girlfriend and all of it ate into you, cut through you like a sword, tore at who you were. You sniffled, wiping tears from your eyes as you typed it all out. You sent it in multiple messages, typing the way you would talk.

_I feel like I shouldn't even be upset for it. I'm bigender. I'm girl as much as I am boy. But...it feels so wrong. It feels like I'm only ever a girl. It feels like I'm only what people see me as. They never use he/him, they use my more gender neutral name than my boy name, they never call me your boyfriend. They never even bother to think of my masculine side. That I'm nothing but a masculine girl. Not a boy. But I feel hypocritical for being upset at a name and pronouns I DO use. I'm overreacting. How can they even know? But it hurts. What if I'm just pretending? What if I'm not even really trans? I don't know. I'm sorry..._

You couldn't help ending your long rant with an apology. It was several messages of explaining so much. And still you felt like it didn't convey the emotions you felt.

Vox read through every message as it was sent. His cool eyes looked so serious. You watched his focused face, it being another part of him you had fallen in love with. He sipped on his drink the waitress had brought as he read.

"Well. You know I don't exactly experience this myself. So don't take it like I'm some expert cause I'm not trans, but...would it really bother you this much if you were cis? Maybe. I don't know. It can suck being seen as the wrong gender cause of ambiguous traits. But would it *really* make you question THIS MUCH if you were really cis?" He asked as he looked at you. You knew he wasn't done though.

"Listen. It's true that how could they know? But maybe they also shouldn't assume. But maybe it can't be helped. Who fucking knows. Technically none of us can actually tell. We don't know the reasons they may assume."

"But for the people that DO know, they have no excuse. They should be trying. If you haven't mentioned it to him, you can try to do it or I can try to do it. If they have any issue with it, I'll deal with it. I don't want you to have to face that shit, okay?"

"Okay..."

"But you are who you are. You're that beautiful bigender person. You're my precious baby boy and my precious baby girl. You're as much my princess as you are my prince. You are whatever you say you are. So if you ever fucking question yourself, I'm here to fucking remind you. You are exactly who I fell in love with. Before you came out, after you came out, after you came out again." Vox looked at you the entire time. His clawed hand carefully held yours. His voice was serious and sweet. You could just hear the love in it.

"If you are ever uncomfortable with how someone refers to you, even a stranger, simply tap my hand three times or shoot me a text. I'll deal with it so fast. And I will make sure that they don't give you shit for it. Cause nobody fucking disrespects my boyfriend."

Vox's hand held tightly to yours, his puffed up chest looking so fucking good as he contained his passionate anger for you. You were his world. And everyone should be fucking respecting that world.

"And if you are feeling dysphoric and need to be reminded that you're the beautiful trans person I've come to love, I will let you know. Just tell me and I'll make sure you feel so fucking euphoric that you'll fall in love with me again and you could never imagine how you were doubting yourself."

Your heart felt so full. This was the man you loved and he loved you. He fucking adored you. He would make sure that you got everything you wanted.

"Do you want to come sit on my lap and I give you love the rest of the meal?"

And he also knew your weak spot for physical affection. You gave a cute "Eep!" as you blushed, but you nodded anyway. He helped you onto his lap and begin running his cyan fingers through your fluffy hair. You were his lovely boyfriend. His other hand laid on your thigh, stroking it gently. Yeah. He'd make sure you never doubted your identity again. Sure he didn't know what it was like to be trans, but he knew what it was like to need someone to reassure you. Vox promised he would always be that for you, the second he found himself loving you.

Vox leaned in to gently kiss your neck, tickling you. He smirked as his screen was so close to you, his big eyes focusing on you.

"Yeah...You're not just my prince, you're my fucking king." He said softly to you. You could feel the way your cheeks burned so red. You were always so easily flustered by him, but it made you so happy. Vox always made you happy.

"Don't you ever let anyone else dictate who you are. Not even me. Unless it's me dictating that you're my perfect boyfriend~" Vox teased into your ear as he kisses it a few times, slightly nibbling at it with his shark teeth. "Don't you ever change because someone makes you feel like shit. You're who you are for a reason. You will always be who you say you are and what you say you are. I won't let that doubt poison your mind. Say the word and I will make sure you hear everything you need to hear." His hands wrapped around your waist tightly. Vox couldn't help becoming protective over you. You weren't overlord material. You were just this sweet little thing he had found himself falling in love with. He needed to protect you. Even if it was just from the dysphoria or doubts in your mind.

You’re an information broker. You got a network of people feeding you information, but few people are aware of this side of you. Most people know you as the hot ‘girl’ working in a shady bar, where most of its patrons are criminals. 

Your agents know you as Mr Smith (nerd!) though and your clientele as well, including Captain Cold. 

For someone with that name, he was incredibly hot. He was as decent as crooks go. He paid you for your services and never seemed disgusted with your flirtations. Though he did not seem to reciprocate them. 

Unless you were at the bar and serving him whatever he felt like that night.

First time he came in, you were worried your day job and night job were gonna get messily intertwined, but for someone as smart as he, he was awfully dumb. 

Being an information broker, you knew all about him, but Leonard was getting to know you in two different ways. 

He obviously was not going to make a move on Mr Smith, because dating with a business partner was bound to get messy, but to your utter frustration, he also did not make any serious move on the best barkeep of the neighbourhood. No amount of flashy shows while making a cocktail was gonna change that.

So you took a chance as a bartender. He turned you down, saying he had an eye on someone from work. 

So you took a shot as Mr Smith. He turned you down, because he had an eye on a bartender he decided not to name. 

You swore he was playing games with you. 

Next time he came in unannounced to your den, you awaited him in your bartender look. 

“Since you wanted to date someone from work and a bartender, I thought I’d give it to you both.” 

Leonard was so confused. He was not playing games with you. He just liked two people and had not decided yet whom he wanted to pursue. But now person A was sitting where person B was usually sitting. 

Then it kind of clicked, because the voice was the same. The eyes. The nose. The way you carried yourself. 

He needed a drink and a lot of explanation. 

Leonard: “Not to be rude, but I do wonder if I should call you miss or mister.” 

“My liege is gender neutral and totally acceptable.”

Leonard: “Not outside of the bedroom…”

He is totally chill (lol) with you being bigender. Whether you experience it as being male and female both at the same time or alternating. Leonard is the type to, in the end, not give a shit. 

Oh but the amount of agents that now come to you to tell you your boyfriend is canoodling with some ‘whore from a bar’. 

“We could kill her for you, Mr Smith.” | “I’d like to see you try.”

You can handle an attempt on your life every now and then. It does tell you who your most loyal agents are.

Also shows how misogynistic they are, because none of them are blaming Leonard for being ‘seduced’. 

In any case, being with Leonard is easy. He listens, makes a point of addressing you gender neutrally and you can often joke about him ‘cheating’. Sometimes it is a ‘buy one get one free’ joke. 

It takes a long time for Leonard to tell Mick though. Mick thought Leonard was having two partners for almost a year. 

He does ask some intrusive questions, but if he goes too far you will let him know. He means well and also he and Leonard are a package deal 

Mick really wants to know what’s in your pants. You suggest a threesome so he could find out. He was too afraid that it was a penis to agree to that. You knew he did not have the balls, but Leonard was not happy you pulled that stunt.