Marlene really fumbled with that one

She is such a mix of chaos and not-chaos. We all think of her as, you know, magician, mom, phallic creator. But she's really just as chaotic sometimes as Set. Sometimes more so. That's probably why she only let me 'sleep in' by an hour.

We argued about the coffee cup. I knew we would. We just cannot get along so I knew the battle was coming. And when she saw the "pretty blue 'A' mug" hiding in the back had my husband's name stamped across it, she wasn't too happy. I thought the dark gray 'A' cup with snowflakes was fine though. I mean, she can be cold sometimes, so.

She cheered up when I asked her what to expect; where to go. She laughed a little in that way people do when you already know the answer and probably won't like the answer but it is what it is.

"Go find a little chaos," she said. Riiiiiiiiiiiiight.

This isn't her chaos, per se, but it's mine*.

To watch the birds flutter from one side of the bird sanctuary to the other. To smell the thickness of the grasses after a rain. To taste the high heat of the day burning hard across the blacktop cutting the sanctuary in half. To listen to the hawks, the eagle, and/or the Turkey Buzzards call out when they've found their prize.

All of these singular moments have merged together as a steady hum in my blood, in my soul. A constant reminder that my gods are here.

A muted birthday celebration after gorging myself on my own birthday cake.

Her colors change to mark the passing of the days

No Earthly sight can match the beauty she displays

And when I die I want her lying by my side

- La Belle Fleur Sauvage by Lord Huron