PART ONE - THE PAIN

May 15, 20XX 

I am no longer bound by the ideas passed on me by my forefathers. With the passage of the last full moon I denounced my name and my past, cleaning myself in the river, coming out of the water a new person. Unfortunately legally this process is still unfolding, as the change of documents tends to be a rather unnecessarily lengthy process. I’m hoping for the world to look kindly upon me and let my new documents arrive swiftly. 

May 23, 20XX 

Blood is spilling from my mouth as I write this. I hope it’ll still be readable, even after I wipe the blood off the pages. I cannot control this. I wish I could. I wish it was different. 

May 25, 20XX 

I was taken to a hospital after the previous note. They stitched me up, put me on painkillers, eased my mind enough to let me sleep. I feel like there’s still a piece of mirror stuck to the back of my throat. 

July 13, 20XX 

I drowned an effigy in hopes of changing the world. It didn’t work. 

July 27, 20XX 

I try not to think about the hours upon hours I spend in the office, with the blue light upon my face. With the cold wind upon my back. With the yearning for something different. 

There’s still a mirror in my mouth. 

July 28, 20XX 

I went to the bathroom, the stuck mirror not letting me concentrate. As I looked at my reflection, mouth wide agape, I could almost see the path to my viscera standing wide open. I wanted to reach in, to take it out, to ripe it open. I felt as the blood gathered under my tongue, I was so ready, my white blouse already full of blood stains.  

But I didn’t, someone else stepped inside and looked at me, and I looked at them. I had to blink, I remember, before I realized it was just Jenny from finances. She was a sweet person, one I often dreamt of devouring, even as I knew it was not possible. I swear I didn’t do it to her. I didn’t share my pain. It just happened. 

"I was… Not a believer at the time of choosing."

"Oh? Are you one now?"

It was a question Seth did not want to ponder on. Forcing themself not to grit their teeth they answered: "What I'm seeing right now is not the matter of belief, but the matter of lived reality."

Seth the god nodded, yet the movement wasn't filled with agreement. He took another step, passing through Seth the human and started to circle them, like prey, like an object in a study room.

"Ah, that's an interesting topic! You see, many argued that reality does not exist, that it's merely our imagination at play. So many minds took their time to realize that belief and reality isn't that far apart."

Seth the human could feel their heart rate going higher, the heart attempting to push the green ooze in their veins faster. With their face greened by emotion they breathed heavily, choosing to plead, not argue. "Do not… Do not make me question the reality of my actions. Not again."

Seth the god roared with laughter. Finally stopping his dance around the human he put his hand on their shoulder.

"You are not the finest of my namesakes, yet I will keep my eye on you."

For the first time since he came here he sheeted his knife. His hand suddenly came to my face, catching me painfully by the jaw. 

"To think this whole time you've been just a woman. Disgusting little vile thing, pretending what she isn't to get to what is so clearly not for you. Oh, I wanted to do that for so long." 

He tore my gag and kissed me. He stuck his tongue deeply, like he wanted to taste every part of me. 

And I bit. Hard. 

He stumbled backwards, screaming. Blood spilled from his mouth, dripping all over the place. I spit out his tongue and started laughing, and it was the ugliest laugh I ever heard. It was unholy, vile and disgusting, but I couldn't stop it. Even if I tried my best, I wouldn't be able to stop the feelings that arose in me, that pure happiness at the sight of his suffering. 

Palisander found his way out of the torture room leaving me alone and unbothered. Even the torturer didn't come back, and I heard voices outside, hushed and probably scared, discussing how they don't want to come near a witch.

something akin to a devotion 🌱 [transcript and taglist below the cut] 

(nazis and white supremacists will be eaten) 

"Please, I'm begging you, I can show you the way, please, please, I'm begging," her lover was repeating, a prayer that went unheard.

"No, you cannot. I am not alive, while your life is in its bloom. You will die, while I won't. My marriage exists beside me, yours is yet to happen. You can find your happiness, it's out there, if you just look for it."

The lover without a hesitation stepped into the river, closing the distance between them. She took the hands of rusalka in her hands and kissed her kunckles.

"My happiness is with you."

"You will drown."

written for theme of liminal times, liminal spaces for August in The Orangery Literary Society  🍊 [transcript below the cut] 

16. Prison AU  + 99. Magical Accidents

So, to be honest, I don’t know why Ego would end up in prison. There is many possibilities but the biggest one is being very, very unlucky. And because of his perpetual unluck this small, very nerdy guy with bad anxiety end ups surrounded by very mean looking and mean acting men. And if it wasn’t the worst he was put to cell with the biggest, gloomiest looking man of them all. Over 2m high, big muscules, harsh voice, ugly face

and he says 

“Hi. I’m Wazon. Nice to meet you” like the most cultured man that he can be. 

Ofc Ego is confused at that and then he realizes that Wazon is reading poetry on his bed?? And then he is even more confused?? 

So a few days later he knows that this Wazon is even weirder than he seemed before and everyone is low kay scared of this big fucking nerd. But this fucking nerd decided to kinda protect this smaller nerd, and together they nerd out about... How biology intersects with computer studdies??? Ego lived through many weird stuff, but being protected by big fucking literature and biology nerd in a prison may be the weirdest. 

But, of course, it is not the weirdest thing, oh no. 

Another few days later something weird wakes up Ego. Something is crawling through his hair, like a bug but a very long bug, so he immediately jumps out of bed and starts trying to get this bug out of there. But what he finds is not a bug but a... twig? A small one, green and with tiny, tiny leaves. It kinda looks like its still growing??? Wild. and weird. 

So he goes back to his bed and inspects.  There is nothing. Literally nothing. Not around the bed, not under the bed, not even on the ceiling. And only Wazon is snoring loudly as never. 

The day after this Ego finds a similar twig growing near the place he and Wazon ten to hang up. 

The day after this other prisoners start finding wierd plants all over the place. 

And on another day Wazon start’s to talk about weird plants that sometimes can grow only because of mutation and radiation and how it MUST BE that the place they are right now is radiated or posioned or maybe even everyone is trying to kill them. He talks a little bit too loud for Ego to like, so Ego tries to hush him, but Wazon is clearly giving him signs that he knows what he’s doing? Ego does not know what is going on and is a little bit scared. But at this point he grew found of this strange guy, so he doesn’t question it. Not in the open. 

But when they go back to cell and when no one is listening Ego asks and he hear an answer. 

“So, you see, I’m a strange guy.”

“No way, I would have never guessed” snarks Ego, a little bit suprised by his own temper. But Wazon only chuckle. 

“Yea, but even weirder. You even heard about those types from The Wilds? I’m weird Like That.”

And ofc Ego is again confused bc he heard about The Wilds and what they supposedly do to plants and animals and even people, but wasn’t that just a rumor? But if it’s true then Wazon can... Do some weird shit probably? 

“So wait. Are you telling me that you’re growing these plants?”

“Yep.”

“But why?” 

“You said you like greenery. So I decided to add some green to the neiborhood.” 

There is a pause while Wazon is clearly waiting for a laught but all he can hear is a little confused sigh. 

“All right, all right, it’s not all there is to it.” And after this Wazon tells Ego about his big plan for An Escape. 

It is simple - if he can grow flowers how he wants then he can move earth the way he wanst. At least partially, right? So he checked and he is able to make a tunnel and escape! And if they make others kind of riot over weird probably polluted water or something then they can make it out a lot easier and it will take the guard a lot longer to find them! 

Ego isn’t really happy about this plan. He didn’t plan on escaping. He kinda wanted to sit his five years and go home. But also he knew that he was given only five years in hope that he wont survive it. That they wanted him gone and gone silently. 

And in this moment he asked himself 

“Do I have anything worth living for?”

And looked at Wazon. At this weird, weird man. 

And he thought of this little girl, that was lost in the world somewhere there, withut a mother and with a big big trauma. 

He even thought about the plants he left in his apartment and that are probably dead by now. 

The answer was yes, he had suprisingly much worth living for. So he agreed. 

They proceeded with the plan the next day. It was easy to make a lot of people angry very quickly after a few more suggestions that they might be already dying. Was it cruel? Yes, it was. But it didn’t really matter at the time. It was just... Another thing they had to do in order to escape this hell. 

(Ok, maybe they didn’t have to but they also didn’t have any better idea. They were nerds but also idiots.) 

So the people of prison are angry. AS FUCKK. The riot is here, everyone is screaming, the police is as the police is always in this kind of situations. Somehow Ego and Wazon make to the place where the tunnel starts and...