#bieby

Hours before Justin Baby’s security guards allegedly choked a pap in Miami, they stole his camera equipment while the man pled desperately for mercy, reports TMZ.

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VIDEO: Twitter News - Hugo Chavez, Justin Bieber, Benedict XVI, Charlie Sheen

Hugo Chavez dies and the Twitter town square reactsJustin Bieber Faces His Fans In London After Apologizing For Late Concert!The Vatican Just Deleted All of Pope Benedict’s TweetsCharlie Sheen Strung Out On Sleeping Pills???

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The puppet show based loosely on this blog by Monica Joy Deffendorf and Jennifer Bertron is progressing steadily. They released the following images as a teaser. With little explanation provided, I think I've gotten to the core of what they're trying to express. (the following interpretation likely has nothing to do with the premise of the actual play, which looks amazing and I'm terribly excited about. I'm so thrilled with them that I'd personally compose a pan-flute song in dedication to them)

This is for all the parents out there who dread the fated "birds & bees," the stork, the getting inebriated, raw-dogging it, and realizing two weeks later in a Walgreen's parking lot that you're pregnant talk with your children. Well, that whole conversation is about to get a lot easier. All you need is an internet connection, a printer, and an over-active imagination.

Step 1:

Skip all the gross sex stuff and get right to the little swimmers that have been dispatched once you and your partner decided you didn't need to use a condom and then you didn't practice safe pulling-out. Unfortunately, it's the opposite of the 80-20 rule. 80% of the risk affords you 20% of the pleasure. It's in that last 20% before ejaculation where you enjoy 80% of the pleasure. Every last millisecond makes it that much better. Sorry, ladies.

Step 2:

Well, now you've gone and done it. Assuming you didn't use RU-486 (highly recommended if you aren't ready to have a child), then you're pregnant. He's in. It's love. He's in again. You're already pregnant, so what's the harm? Now you're free to do what you want (including an abortion if, again, you're not ready to birth a child).

Step 3:

So long as you played a pan-flute and rocked-out during the pregnancy, you will birth a good looking, musically inclined Bieby. All will be well so long as you capitalize on their talents and force them into a rigorous training schedule where their talents will be maximized and their innocent child-brain filled with dreams of celebrity success and stardom.

Bieby    /bee-bee/

Noun:

A baby born of pan-flute playing, rocking-out parents with inherent musical talent and unquestionable physical beauty.

Justin Bieber-esque infant with the capacity to seduce men and women of any age through musical display or sheer physical presence.

Synonyms: prodigy - disciple - master - god baby - heart throb - gold mine