#bhpod

The invisibility serum has worn off, and the dogs at the Humane Society are now back to normal. Volunteers have sent the Vigilant Eye pictures of the invisible dogs sporting floating sweaters, and we have framed them in our hallway.

It's ALIIIIVE!

There’s a bit of black sand this morning on Lake Shore Drive, so the entire route is…basically a loss. We suggest you take the I-90 Northbound instead, unless you’re feeling adventurous. And don’t mind losing your car. And life.

The Vigilant Eye has now made a Travesty Map available. We have documented each Travesty location so that you can travel safely. Please report to us any new Travesties so that we can keep the map up to date.

If you are newly manifested with the ability of flight, (or granted the ability through Savant tech), please go to your local DMV for the proper air-travel paperwork. Unauthorized air travel will be fined.

Many noise complaints were issued yesterday with witnesses claiming to have heard “horrendous wailing.” When asked, the apartment owner said “I taught my plants to sing. I made a mistake. They won’t stop singing ABBA. Please, please help me.”

Apologies for today’s odd update. Our intern brought his hamster to work (which is not allowed) and failed to mention that it can hack systems by chewing on wires. We found Pebbles and got him home. (And gave him carrots)