#bfb13

You buried yourself in your work once again, it helped you somewhat forget. It also gave you a good excuse to hide away for everyone and allow you to wallow in your own self-pity.

You’d left campus late once again, although you had spent the entire day in the field, so it wasn’t completely planned. You knew you didn’t have a lot of food at home and despite the attraction of getting takeout, you did want a home cooked meal.

As you walked through the grocery store you could help but pick up some of your favourite snacks. You also grabbed a couple bottles of wine, you’d gone through you stash already. You were walking through the frozen section trying to decide on which ice cream to buy when you heard you name being called.

You turned to see Scott and Steve walking over to you. You plaster on an award-winning smile as they approached.

“Oh hey guys, didn’t expect to see you here” you say with a small smile.

“Didn’t expect to see you either, thought you’d still have a nose in a book or something” Steve jokes making you chuckle slightly.

“Yeah been busy recently, Uni making me work hard” you sigh making them both chuckle.

You notice Scott checking out the contents of your cart, raising his brow at you.

“You alright? How you been?” Scott asks, to anyone else it would have been an innocent question, but you knew Scott was asking a lot more.

You stumble for a moment “uh yeah I’m good just thought I’d treat myself since I’ve been working hard” you tell him. It wasn’t a complete lie, but definitely wasn’t the truth.

“You definitely have, don’t work yourself to death though” Steve smiles completely oblivious to looks Scott was giving you.

“I’ll try not to” you laugh hoping that Scott would leave it.

“Good well we’ll leave you to it, hopefully we’ll see you this weekend?” Steve asks hopefully.

“Yeah sounds great” you smile, you couldn’t avoid them forever.

They leave you to finish shopping, you ended up buying two pints of ice-cream because of the stress that interaction just caused.

As you walked back to your car you could see Scott leaning against your car, his arms crossed.

“Scott, what’s up?” You ask him as you approach.

“You really thought I wouldn’t notice you buying your favourite comfort foods and just leave it at that” Scott says knowingly.

You sigh in defeat, while he didn’t know the exact reason you were down in the dumps. Now that he was aware you were down, he wasn’t gonna just let you wallow alone.

“Scott I-“ you sigh dropping your shoulders.

“Look you don’t have to tell me anything just yet, but let’s get you home watch some crap cheesy movies and binge on ice cream together” Scott says interrupting you taking your bags and starting to load up the car.

“Thank you Scott” you sighs pulling him in for a hug.

“It’s nothing, that’s what best friends are for right?” He smiles rubbing your shoulders soothingly.

When you got back to your house Scott helped you unpack your groceries. Due to his influence you had decided to forgo dinner and you both tucked into a pint of ice cream each.

You had a cheesy comedy movie on in the background, you couldn’t quite stomach a cheesy romance film. You chuckled along to the film, grateful for the small distraction.

When the film ended Scott grabbed the remote turning the TV off before turning to you.

“You wanna talk about it now?” He asks putting his tub of ice cream down on the coffee table.

You take a deep breath, there was no more putting it off. You needed to work out exactly what to say. You put your tub of ice cream down next to his before turning to face him. When you looked at him and saw how much he was concerned about you and how much he was there for you, you decided you definitely couldn’t tell him about Chris.

“Well um” you sigh trying desperately to find a way to explain it, without actually explaining it.

“I made a mistake. I made a mistake and it hurt someone that I didn’t want to hurt, and I don’t know how to fix it” you tell him with a sigh.

Scott nods his head slowly “does the person know it was a mistake?” He asks you.

You shake your head “no, I haven’t been able to get hold of them since” you explain.

Scott ponders for a moment before speaking “okay so how did this mistake occur? Is it something that if you explained it to the person they would understand it was a mistake?” He asks you.

You bite your lips slightly “I made the mistake when I was drunk and emotional, I wasn’t thinking straight and did something that the person then found out about later and yeah” you tell him.

“Wait hold up, did you cheat on Jake? Is that why you broke up?” Scott asks you stunned.

You look back at him completely shocked, your jaw was practically on the floor.

“What no! No! I didn’t, I’d never cheat on anyone!” You exclaim.

Scott holds his hands up in surrender laughing slightly “okay, okay I’m sorry” he apologises.

“Look whatever you did, you know it was a mistake and you clearly regret it, you weren’t thinking straight, you just have to make them understand that” Scott tells you.

“They won’t return my calls or texts, they’re avoiding me” you sigh sadly.

“Well ambush them at work or in the grocery store like I did with you today!” Scott laughs making you look back at him shocked.

“Wait what!?” You gasp not believing that he’d planned to bump into you.

“Well kinda ambushed you, I knew something was up when you started burying yourself in your work again, I didn’t know you’d be grocery shopping though, that was just a happy coincidence” Scott explains making you chuckle shaking your head at him.

“Well I guess I should thank you, you’ve pulled me out of my misery” you tell him making him smile proudly.

“Good, my work here is done, now let’s finish these ice creams and watch another cheesy movie” Scott smiles passing you your ice cream and turning the TV back on.

You were sat in your car debating whether you should go or not. You grip the steering wheel tightly taking a deep breath starting your car knowing it was now or never. On the way over you went through your speech over and over again in your head.

When you got to Chris’ house you were glad to see his car on the drive. It did make your palms sweat and your heart hammer in your chest. Steeling your nerves you got out of the car walking over to his front door hoping the shake in your hand wasn’t obvious.

When you knock on the door you could hear dodger barking, letting you know Chris was definitely home. When Chris opened the door he looks surprised initially before cooling his expression, his jaw clenching. He looks like he was about to shut the door, so you threw your hands out to stop him.

“Wait, wait, wait please, let me explain please” you say quickly looking up at him pleadingly.

He doesn’t say anything but steps to the side to allow you to step in. You ring your hands together nervously as you walk in, when you turn to face Chris he stood with his arms crossed over his chest defensively and kept his distance from you.

“Look all those things I wrote down aren’t true, I don’t really believe them” you tell him deciding just to rip the band aid off.

He sighs shaking his head looking down at the floor.

“Then why did you write it?” He asks you.

“Because I was drunk, and emotional. I wrote that list after the night we first kissed and had that whole misunderstanding” you explain the lump forming in your throat and you had to try really hard not to start crying.

When you look over at Chris he doesn’t say anything, but you can tell from his expression that he needed a bit more of an explanation.

“I was so upset about that whole misunderstanding, I thought you didn’t want me, and it really upset me. I was trying to work out whether I should tell you that I did want you” you stutter the words sticking in your throat.

“But all those thoughts went out of my head when I found out about the misunderstanding and when I chose you over Jake. I should have thrown that out right there and then, but I didn’t and I’m sorry for that. That day when you found it, right before you found it I was thinking about how much I was loving the simple domestic life with you” you continue tear prickling in your eyes and you have to take a deep breath before you continue.

“Because I love you Chris, I love you so goddamn much it hurts. It hurts when I’m not with you, I miss you whenever you go into a separate room. I want a life with you, I can picture a future with you full of love, children and a white picket fence. I never lied when I told you that I loved you, because I never stopped loving you. From the moment I met I knew you were it for me, nobody else. I just want you, only you, I want every piece of you, ever imperfection, your past, because none of that shit bothers me, because I love you and to me you are perfect” you tell him tears well and truly falling, you were hiccupping you were crying so much.

You look over at him, but his face was unreadable, his posture unchanged.

“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry, I never meant to hurt you, I never wanted to hurt you” you cry completely breaking down you hand flying to your mouth desperately trying to keep the sobs at bay.

You hear him sigh deeply and you fear that it wasn’t enough. You’d failed and had lost him forever. You were shocked when you feel his arms wrap around you. His hand rubs your back soothingly. You feel him kiss the top of your head.

You look up at him shocked and you could see the tears he was also trying to hold back.

“It’s okay, it’s okay” he whispers over and over again holding you close until the sobs subsided and your breathing returned to normal.

“Do you forgive me?” You ask him sniffling.

He nods his head kissing the top of your head “of course, I have one question though” he tells you.

You nod you head for him to continue.

“On your list it said I’d break your heart again, what did you mean?” He asks you.

You wipe away your tears and take a deep breath, getting yourself ready to tell him a secret that you hadn’t told anyone since you were 18.

“When we broke up before I went to university and you moved to LA, we said it was amicable, but I really didn’t want to break up. I was ready to make long distance work, I didn’t want to lose you but when you said we should end it I agreed even though it broke my heart” you tell him wiping away the new tears the began to fall.

You hear Chris chuckle to himself “I didn’t want to break up either” he tell you making you look up at him shocked.

“I thought it was the best, I only wanted the best for you, and I didn’t want to hold you back” Chris admits making you chuckle.

Once again the two of you had suffered from a miscommunication. Where would you be now if you never had all these miscommunications. Would you still be together? Married even?

“We really need to work on our communication” you sigh smiling up at him.

He chuckles wrapping his arms around your waist.

“Yeah from now on we just say exactly what we want or mean, we won’t interrupt each other too since that seems to be an issue” Chris agrees with a smile.

“Sounds like a deal” you smile wrapping your arms around his shoulders.

“So what exactly are you thinking right now?” Chris asks with a small smirk.

“That I absolutely love this adorable dork in front of me” you smiles looking up into his eyes.

“And I absolutely love this gorgeous woman in front of me” he smiles leaning down to press his lips against yours.

PLEASE LIKE, FOLLOW AND REBLOG

Series Masterlist / Masterlist

Tagged:   @n3ssm0nique @henrythickcavill @waywardswain @lharrietg @im-grac3ful-but-fi3rc3 @coldmuffinpartycloud @thesecretlifeofdaydreamss @crazyjadedstar @thereisa8ella @andyrazzledazzle @uniquebeautyqueen @saltyflowermakertaco @jennamarieee623 @hockeychick10 @patzammit​ @itsfanxlaura19 @tvckerlance @panaitbeatrice​ @aidinniram​ @thevelvetseries​ ​​​@sltwins @mytbel0st @tabletennischampion​ @sassyandsarcastic17​