#beyond illusion

(taRka)

Do you want to know how to spot an illusion? Just remember the difference between dream and reality. A dream has doubt while reality has no room for doubt. A dream is uncertain while reality is. Living beyond illusion is living beyond dream and reality. If you get it, good for you. If you don't, meditate. No internet for days helps btw. I've been stuck in an island for days now. There's no wifi and the cellular reception is at it's worst. I have to go to the town just to get better reception and cellular data. Being stuck in isolation helped me in meditating. Tarot card readings helped me a lot too. You are a dream. Being with you is an illusion. It is an illusion that I would gladly divulge myself into. It is a delusion. This is what I know so far. I know it but I don't want to believe it. But illusions can be attained. Faith or stupidity? You decide. I can't even have the guts to talk to you sober. I have to be on something. I'm a ripe fruit ready to fall. But I cannot fall not because I'm not ready, but rather because I don't want to. I don't want to because I don't want to get hurt. I don't want to get hurt because I'm uncertain about the future. Our future, you and I, is uncertain because it is not reality. It is not reality because it's a dream. It's a dream therefore it is an illusion. It is a paradox. You are a beautiful paradox. God I want you. I still think about you. It's hard to fall out of love or even reduce my feelings for you. Do you wanna know why? Because me liking you didn't go to your head. You didn't even asked the cliche questions like: "why me?" You were cool enough and kind enough to acknowledge it. You even find me writing about you and my feelings for you cute. Someday I will write about something else. Someday I will write about real things and not just mere dreams. Don't get me wrong, my feelings for you is real. Me falling for you is real. But the concept of you isn't. Someday I will write about my first real actual date. Someday I will write about my first real kiss (by real I mean a kiss with romance and feelings). Someday I will write about late night conversations. Someday I will write about all the cliches that happens to lovers. Someday I will write about forever. Until then I will write about dreams; I will write about you. I just can't get enough of you. I know it's not your intention and I know it's just me but every time you respond to me, I just can't help but fall. I wanna say I'm done. I want to be done. I just can't. I don't know why you make me like this Migi Cruz. Lol. I gave you a shoutout. It feels weird typing or writing your name like that. This is intended for you but it feels weird writing your name. I feel like I exposed you or something. If ever you read this and didn't like me mentioning your name, just tell me and I'll take it down. And if you must know, I'm isolating myself while I write this because I'm scared people might see. And by people I mean my family. They don't read my blog that's why I'm brave enough to post this (even though I told them to try and read it for them to get to know me more). But if you are uncomfortable, I would take it down in a heart beat. Moving on (even though I can't seem to lol), I am trying to let go of my feelings for you. I'm trying to desensitize myself. I'm trying to but I don't want to. Falling in love with someone can be learned but falling out of love for someone can't. But I just want you to know that I'm trying. And if ever that I've finally let go of my feelings for you, I am still rooting for you. I will always wish you well.

View On WordPress

View On WordPress

View On WordPress

View On WordPress

View On WordPress