#bex mannion

Bex looks unimpressed. “She’s going to grow up one day, you know. It’s better to be a baby with an adult name than an adult with a baby name.”

“Yeah, I suppose,” Jamie says. “But it’s fucking weird while she’s still a baby.”

“Jamie,” Bex says, exasperated. “You didn’t come over to criticize my baby’s name, did you?”

“Well, no,” Jamie says. “Came over to see how you were, like. Good thing you divorced Rupert when you did. He was apparently doing sexual misconduct or something.”

“I know,” Bex says, like it’s not surprising. “He was cheating on me with his personal assistant.”

“Shit,” Jamie says. “What a fucking wanker.”

“Cheers to that,” Bex says. She knocks her wine glass against Jamie’s beer. 

“You rebounded yet?” Jamie asks. Bex is mad fit. She must have been with Rupert for the money, which Jamie can respect. But old geezer sex probably isn’t good, even if it makes a baby, and Bex deserves to shag someone fit. 

“Why?” Bex asks, swirling her wine. “You offering?”

It’s tempting. Bex is beautiful, with long blonde hair and a cheeky smile and huge eyes. She’s single and he’s single and they wouldn’t actually be doing anything wrong. 

“I can’t,” Jamie says. 

“Do you have a girlfriend?” Bex asks. 

Jamie purses his lips. “No. But I like this one girl and if we shagged, I’d just be pretending you were her. And that ain’t right.”

Bex shakes her head and smiles. “Look at that. Turns out that are honest men in the world.”

“Sorry, Bex,” Jamie says. “I would shag you, honest. I’m just all up in me ‘ead.”

“Who’s the girl?” Bex asks. Then, “No, Diane. Like this.”

She shows the baby how to stack the blocks. The baby immediately knocks the tower over, shrieking happily and clapping her hands. 

“Well?” Bex asks. “Who’s the girl?”

Jamie groans. “Keeley Jones.”

“Keeley Jones?” Bex echoes loudly. “Isn’t that the girl you were dating three years ago?”

“Yeah.”

“And isn’t she dating that other footballer? The tall, dark, and handsome one?”

“Oi!” Jamie protests.

“He is,” Bex says unrepentantly. 

“I’m handsome,” Jamie says. 

“Yeah. But you’re pretty-boy fit. He’s handsome in a big and strong way. Like a superhero or something.”

Jamie scoffs. “And to think I almost shagged you.”

Bex grins. “No you didn’t.”

“No. I didn’t.” Jamie downs the rest of his beer. His life’s a fucking tragedy. There’s a beautiful supermodel in front of him and he’s isn’t even bloody interested. “And Keeley’s not with him anymore. Tall, dark, and handsome, I mean. They ended a year ago. Only it’s complicated cause he’s my mate now and she don’t want either of us.”

“So you’re trying to… what? Make her change her mind?” Bex patiently stacks blocks for Diane again. 

“No,” Jamie says. “I just want to be her friend. But every time I’m around her, it’s like my brain is one of them tvs that ain’t turned to any channel. All static, like. And then I say something stupid and I ruin everything.”

“It can’t be that bad,” Bex says. 

“I keep telling her I’m in love with her,” Jamie says. 

Diane knocks the block tower down. 

Bex winces. “Yeah. Don’t do that.”

“I’m not trying to!” Jamie protests. “It just happens. It’s like me mouth ain’t connected to my brain.”

“Well, maybe you need to recontextualize your experiences with her,” Bex says. 

“Sorry, what?”

“Treat her like a friend,” Bex says. “Where do you usually see her?”

“Er, at Nelson Road. Or her place. Or a funeral.”

Bex blinks. “Right. Well. What if you tried seeing her outside those places? Where do you usually spend time with your friends?”

Jamie gestures at Bex’s living room and the baby that’s chewing a block. “Here, I guess.”

“Your other friends,” Bex says. 

“That’s mostly the lads,” Jamie says. “So also Nelson Road. Or Isaac’s place, or Dani’s. Or the club, if we’re trying to pick up girls.”

Bex purses her lips like she’s thinking. “Where does Keeley go with her friends?”

Jamie tries to picture Keeley hanging out with friends and only comes up with a picture of Keeley and Rebecca (the other one) laughing together in Rebecca’s office. “Nelson Road?”

“God, you all need to get a life,” Bex says. “What about shopping? Does she like shopping?”

“Yeah,” Jamie says, sitting up straighter. “She loves shopping.”

“Why don’t you do that together? That’s a friend thing.”