#beta submission

Bringing home my white boyfriend to meet my Chinese parents would have been … problematic in the best of circumstances. The fact that he is older and hairy and super masculine made it many times worse.

This rough Man acting like He owns me wasn’t going over well at all. But He does own me, and the way we interact around one another makes it so obvious.

My parents have dreams of me being a renowned global economist, not a submissive boy to a white Master!

Instead of helping me win them over it’s as if He goes out of His way to make the point. We could have easily have gone one weekend without sex but nooo. He had to fuck me in my childhood bed so hard and deep that the bed nearly collapsed and I was walking uncomfortably the next morning, red faced and embarrassed. My parents were barely civil at breakfast and He didn’t seem to notice one bit. And fuck if that didn’t make me love Him even more.

After breakfast I subtly motioned Him upstairs. Once in my room, I dropped to my knees and kissed His bare feet. Oh, He liked that. A lot. He smiled when He fed me His cock and I greedily sucked Him until He gave me what I needed.

Thank Him for using you.

Thank Him for disciplining you.

Thank Him for beating you.

Thank Him for humiliating and degrading you.

Thank Him for feeding you.

Thank Him for acknowledging you.

Thank Him for allowing you to touch Him.

Thank Him for His collar.

Thank Him for allowing you to serve.

Thank Him for His time.

Thank Him for His power and control over your life.

Thank Him for the marks He leaves on your body.

Thank Him for giving you purpose.

"Thank You, Master." The words are muffled but clear enough to be heard.

"Again," He says calmly.

"Thank You, Master."

"What are you. boi?"

"I'm a cock-sucking faggot slave, Master."

"And who do you belong to, slave?"

"You, Master."

He takes a quick snapshot of me before scrolling through His phone while I kneel in front of Him, quiet and still. The minutes pass and I can tell He's preoccupied and has lost interest in me. I've now been given the wonderful opportunity to show my Master that my submission runs deep and is 24/7, not just during sex or a BDSM session.

Sex is only a very small part of being a sub. It's precious moments like this that solidify and strengthen my place and purpose and helps reinforce and solidify the hierarchy. When He loses interest in me but maintains my humiliation I work even harder to submit and endure with gratitude.

If I'm especially lucky, He'll allow me to lick, suck, and massage His feet before I'm sent to prepare dinner or go about my chores. But I would never be so presumptuous as to begin such ministrations without His permission or command. As much as I crave pleasing Him, I must show control over my own impulses and needs.

I softly inhale and drift in subspace. I love my Master. I love being anything He needs me to be. I am grateful just to be near Him, grateful that He takes the time out of His day to find a place for me in it.

Time slows. I am in a daze when He lowers His feet and puts His big toe against my lips. I drop my jaw and look into His eyes. He's smiling. He approves. My Master puts His toe in my mouth and I gently suck it, watching Him carefully to read His expression for instruction and guidance.

"What are you?" He says with a smirk.

"A cock-sucking faggot slave, Master." I reply with His toe still in my mouth. He grins wider.

"No, boi. You're a toe-sucking faggot slave!" He laughs. My face reddens in both humiliation and lust.

I fucking love My life. I love who I am, what I am, and what I’ve made of Myself. I’ve taken charge of My life. Being dominant, assertive, and aggressive comes naturally to Me. I am a perfectionist and have created a world for Myself where mediocrity is not tolerated. From the thread count of My robe to the boi I’ve molded to My exacting specifications, I demand and deserve the best.

Every day when I wake in My household I know that I will be worshipped and obeyed. My high libido, aggressive natural, and pleasure in My own body makes Me hard most of the time. But seeing My boi face down and naked at My feet in the morning makes My cock throb even harder and leak in anticipation.

By now, I should be immune to this routine display of surrender and submission. But when I see him so vulnerable and empty waiting for Me to fill him, it’s impossible to forget the journey I’ve taken him on to get here and it makes Me fucking hard to know that I made this and I own him. He is My reward. His unflinching submission and complete surrender is a living testament to My skill, authority, and power.

He was a middle-aged unowned submissive with so much pent up need to serve and be owned that his desperate grasp at the first spark of hope was understandable. And terribly endearing. But despite being eager to please and obey, I still needed to break him apart and so I could remake him.

When I see him now I can still recall the sobbing, needy, broken boi that clung to my ankles, kissed and wet my feet with his tears, mouth, and tongue and begged me to claim him forever. Over time I had proved worthy of his trust and of his love and it made it that much easier for him to let go of any sense of control and to let me in.

I would be disingenuous if I didn’t admit to enjoying the process of breaking him down. And the memory makes me hard as steel, just as it did then not that long ago when I gave him exactly what we both needed.

I love his self-sacrificing worship. I love how grateful he is to serve Me. I marvel at how quickly he will debase himself or accept My abuse. I love that he is Mine and Mine alone.

I don’t see him as an object, even though I occasionally treat him like one. As I will this morning. He will worship My feet while I finish My espresso. And then when I’m ready I will fuck his mouth and throat until I cum. I will let my lust free and use him roughly. He will gag and cry and choke. He will also swallow every drop with thankfulness and awe. He will finish by licking Me clean, slowly and respectfully - cock, balls, and scrotum - before quietly leaving to lay out My clothes. He will stay naked and collared and at My feet for the rest of the morning as I mentally prepare Myself for the day.

i want You inside me. Please, Sir.

There are many ways to please a Man sexually to connote respect, submission, and worship. Arguably, the most debasing and self-sacrificial is letting a Man use your mouth and throat for a fuck hole and then swallowing His cum. 

But there is something unique about anal sex that i will always long for. 

My sexual needs have always been to give Him pleasure first and foremost. i’ve never cared about my own orgasm. In fact, my little clit seems to have shrunken over the years as a sign of its complete uselessness and irrelevancy. Even when i was younger and first exploring sex with men, having an orgasm was not a necessity for me. But making sure He did was absolutely a priority.

Being able to give Him a hole that He can fuck like a Man (being cunted), which is to say, as hard and fast and long as He wants, is a big part (wink) of why i want Him inside me. It’s a powerfully humbling and centering experience. Feeling Him exert His physical dominance and power so intimately is the closest i’ll ever get to experiencing the essence of Alpha supremacy that i worship and revere, and will never have. 

[Dear god ... i would keep this Man so happy!]

i get a pic, followed a few seconds later with a text: Pumped up. Skipping the shower. Coming over. 

As soon as i see it my mind goes blank and i feel numb. My face feels flushed and my pulse races. i’m supposed to be on several work calls this afternoon, but none of that matters now. Nothing has mattered since He claimed me a few weeks ago. Each time He’s with me i fly a little higher. Now, just a text can send me soaring into subspace. 

The gym is not far away. He’ll still be feeling the endorphins and testosterone rush of His workout when He gets here. He’s going to hurt me and i want Him to.

i’m on autopilot walking around like a zombie. i should be in more of a hurry but everything feels like it’s happening in slow motion. i clean myself out and undress so He won’t rip my clothes or punish me for being unprepared. i want to show Him that i can be His good boy, even when He’s scary as hell. 

i’m waiting on my knees by the door, head bowed when He comes in. He drags me by the hair to the bedroom, lifts me off the floor, and throw me onto the bed. 

He smells wonderful, and perhaps if i’m able to move afterwards i’ll be allowed to lick the sweat off His body and give Him a massage. i’m flying so high that i don’t even hear my own screams and cries of pain as He rapes me. 

He fucks right through His first orgasm and keeps pounded harder and faster. i feel broken, bruised, and impaled. His rough hands are on my throat and i wonder if i’ll even be conscious when He’s finally sated His lust and aggression. There’s a cold detachment in the way He fucks me that’s terrifying. He’s in the Alpha equivalent of subspace, which is extremely dangerous because neither of us now have any boundaries. Nothing is off limits. 

He’s been in and out of the sauna several times already. He reminds me of the feral tom cat i’ve been trying to tame: big, beautiful, skittish, rarely looks me in the eyes but willing to take my food offerings as though he’s doing me a favor.

The intimidating young Man before has come back, and this time i think He’s made a decision. His options at the club today are limited and i can tell He’s finally figured that out. The trail of overweight old men who’ve been following Him around like puppies have finally given up the chase and we’re alone. 

Up to now, He’s ignored me. i’ve not moved from my spot the entire time and continue to keep my head slightly bowed and eyes low in a show of humility and extreme passivity. It’s not dignity or self-respect that’s kept me from following Him around like the others; i know what i am and there’s no place for pride in submission. i’ve left Him alone out of respect and old-fashioned manners. He’s a Man. An Alpha. And He deserves a certain decorum, even in this raunchy place. At least i think so. 

i’m sure i’m not what He wanted when He decided to come here, but i’m grateful nonetheless. He stands directly in front of me, the light behind Him silhouetting His heavy cock beneath the thin towel clinging to His waist. He stay  standing and i understand why: He’s using me begrudgingly and will be gone before i’ve made it back to my seat. 

i slowly go to my knees. i never look up at Him, and my touch is careful and respectful at all times. i move the edge of the towel to the side, being cautious not to graze His thigh with my fingers, even though i want to touch Him. 

My trembling lips close softly around the swollen head of His beautiful cock as it rises to meet me. i don’t moan or make any sounds that might draw attention to myself.i suck His turgid shaft with reverence, with long, wet strokes that stretch my throat. His cock responds to my loving care with a sudden expulsion of precum. 

Finally, He touches me and i instinctively melt into His grip, letting Him take over. There is nothing gentle or kind in the way He grips my skull and abuses my throat. My jaw aches and my retching spurs Him on to a quick conclusion. i can smell it but can’t taste it yet, as He empties Himself down my throat with a slight grunt.