#bestoneliners

That bathroom is a crime against humanity. Trust me, put down the coffee 

Let go of her we're armed.... poorly. 

Welcome home, Wynonna (talking to herself) 

Listen, I know Purgatory's country and all, but is that legal to bury your husband in the garden?

Two stints in juvie, a summer riding with the Banditos, and I'm still trying wanted for questioning in the Bleaker case. My relationship with law is enforcement es un poco complicated. 

Listen, you washed-up rodeo clown. 

Waverly: Why don't you slip into something more comfortable. Like a coma! 

Worst birthday ever! 

I wasn't gonna "do" anyone, least of all that man-child.

If my parole officer's asking, then no. 

Am I being charged with something? Cause trust me, having to ride the bus is punishment enough. 

Waverly was right. We need that gun. And I'm talking to a truck. - No this well dried up a long time ago. Much like my tolerance for stalkers. 

I don't do authority, alright? These days, I barely do sober. 

We both know you're one grope away from a heart t attack. Best stick to internet porn and the certainty of dying alone, don't you think? 

Let me guess. Wyatt Earp fan? Came to see the place where he drank? You know what? Let you freak flag fly free.

(Waverly about to be hung/choke to death) Hanging in there?

(Stool holding Waverly kicked down and Wynonna runs to hold her up) Deep breaths, baby girl!