#bespokd

starter for  @bespokd​​ .   ( u didn’t ask for this but i wanted it  ! )

𝚒𝚝  𝚠𝚊𝚜  𝚑𝚎𝚛  𝚋𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚍𝚊𝚢 .     and  like  hell  was  he  going  to  let  her  spend  it  in  a  cell.     the  doctor  had  never  been  great  at  arriving  places  on  time,   but  every  inch  of  him  had  prayed  to  get  it  right,   just  this  once.     shoulder  moves  against  the  bars  of  her  cell,    tweed  jacket  ruffled  against  the  metal  as  screwdriver  is  pulled  from  his  chest  pocket,    a  short  buzz  and  the  door  swings  open,   man  soon  moving  into  the  opening,   smile  wide  as  he  looks  over  to  her  with  such  a  cheeky  grin.    “ happy  birthday,  dear.    want  your  present? ” 

          𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄'𝐒   𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆   𝐎𝐅𝐅   𝐈𝐍   𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐌 .         at   first   he’s   not   too   sure   what   it   is  ;    like   when   you   walk   into   your   library   and   someone’s   rearranged   all   of   the   books .     or   the   corner   of   your   rug   has   been   overturned .       𝐈𝐓'𝐒   𝐍𝐎𝐓   𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓   𝐇𝐄   𝐇𝐀𝐒   𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐀𝐍𝐘  ,     𝐄𝐈𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 .    he’s   gotten   used   to   that  ,     even   if   he   never   exactly   invited   her   on   board   ----     not   an   unfamiliar   experience .    it’s   happened   more   than   once .      and   yet   he   can’t   help   but   scrutinise   her   from   across   the   console   room .     it   takes   a   moment   for   the   slow   and   steady   realisation   to   overcome   him .

soft & caring from river @bespokd ; accepting. 

She’s shell shocked, she’s hurt, she’s processing. She’s shutting down. River had just brought them home, the Doctor of in the universe to find her daughter, to find Melody. To find River. Amy doesn’t even have the energy to change out of the white gown before she sank into the couch, Rory beside her, and River just carefully hovering. The silence is thick and feels heavy of so many things Amy can’t bring herself to stay. After a moment, Rory excuses himself to go make them some tea. If she hadn’t been hurting, she would have found Rory in his Roman battle wear a lot more attractive. 

River takes the abandoned seat of her father, but Amy still just stares at the soft green silk that had Melody’s name sewn into it by the soldier. The TARDIS isn’t near, so it’s back in the language of the forest people, but she’s stared at River long enough to know how to spell it in their own language. 

There are so many things she wants to ask, so many things she doesn’t want the answers to. She’d held Melody the entire time, Amy’s sure of it. How could they take her little girl? How did she not know they took her little girl? Melody is going to grow up thinking that Amy didn’t love her, that Rory didn’t love her. 

And then she remembers the first time she met River, and she remembers the Angels, remembers how she thought she was going to die, how she had an Angel inside of her. Did River know, even back then, that Amy was her mother? How had Amy looked at her, and how had her soul not known who she was instantly? Or maybe she did know, maybe it’s why she’d instantly trusted River, instantly liked her. 

And she remembers the Doctor mentioning that he and River never meet in the right order, that they’re traveling different directions. She wonders if that’s the same for them. Was her first time meeting River the last time River saw her? 

And she’s spiraling, and then River speaks, and it’s enough to draw her up short, to silence the worries of a mother that just lost her child, that doesn’t know if she’ll ever get her baby back. 

Amy takes River’s hands, holds them in both of hers and finally looks into her eyes. Tears pool at the edges of her eyes, leave wet drops on her lashes as she tries the blink them away so that she can focus on the women her daughter will become. 

We’ll never stop looking for you, Amy wants to tell her, I promise we’ll find you. But in a world with time travel and space travel, is that something she can even promise? Instead, Amy tries to smile. “Go with the Doctor, I’m sure he’ll need saving.” And it’s not that Amy can’t look at River, is just that right now, she needs Rory. She needs him to hold her so that she can cry. 

&.          @bespokd​            ›           𝙲𝙻𝙾𝚂𝙴𝙳 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙴𝚁 .

all  breath  escapes  her  as  the  other’s  foot  finds  her  stomach,   knocked  backwards  and  gasping  for  air.    but  she’s  quick  to  regain  it,   bending  in  half  to  avoid  a  fist  and  quick  to  follow  the  other  with  her  own.    sparring  had  become  one  of  her  new  favourite  things  to  do,    especially  with  river.     river  was  talented,   she  too  understood  acting  on  impulse.    both  unique,    though  united  in  regimented  creation.    girl  felt  a  connection  over  past  pains  that  no  one  other  than  river  could  ever  understand,   and  to  be  pushed  and  tested  by  her  made  the  relationship  all  the  more  interesting.     though  jenny  always  held  back,    still  never  quite  sure  what  she  would  be  capable  of. 

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐑𝐀 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐒𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐀𝐒 𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆, she hadn’t exactly been real and she had been dreaming. She still couldn’t believe after all this time, she had found out by random chance that the Doctor Song the Doctor had spoken about to almost exhaustion had been a woman --- and a pretty fit one too, if she was honest (well, done Doctor). There had been little chance to question him about it afterwards, and then she hadn’t had a way to bring it up naturally without sounding jealous (which she absolutely was not). Only now, she was hearing there had been another rug to pull out from under her feet --- the doctor didn’t just have secret hot friends, but he was married to her too. Married! After all this time, he’d flirted and she’d done so back. Yeah, he had later gone on to do the whole i’m not your boyfriend thing to her --- but that didn’t make the whole scenario feel any less blindsiding. She was going to kill him, make no mistake on that. It was only after practicing her rant for him in her head that she realized she had been standing there with a shocked and frozen expression for a couple moments now. Clara needed to save the moment some how, and with a clearing of her throat she attempted to do just that. “ Oh, right of course. Sorry, slow brain day. His wife. Right, I knew that. His wife River Song--- Professor River Song. Been in a classroom all day, just tired. Um, why don’t you sit down. He usually parks the TARDIS in the hall blocking my way around my own home in about twenty minutes, I’ll make some tea. ”  She was babbling, reel it in Oswald !

                 but    if    you    hear     today    i’m    no    longer    quite    so    𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐝                            to    this    𝚊𝚏𝚏𝚊𝚒𝚛 ,       i’ve    been    𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔮𝔲𝔬𝔱𝔢𝔡 .

𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐪𝐮𝐞́ 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫 ( @bespokd​ ) !