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I feel so fucking emotional lately especially in the dead of night. Like I feel like fucking crying and sobbing right now. I feel so fucking stunted. I don't know what makes me happy. I don't. My father's emotional manipulative abuse as made me unable to decide for myself what makes me happy. And it makes me feel agonized.
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screw this im going to bed
And the internet is literally so shitty at this place that I can't even be online on like League and the websites load so so slow (especially if someone's on too). what the crap
I secretly just want a girls day with some close bff girlfriends' where we go and get pampered and I'm talking massages, mani/pedi's, facial stuff with that super relaxing music and awesome candle/insense smells like I've never gotten to do stuff like that growing up and I'm gonna be 21 next week I think I deserve to be pampered the hell out of after the year I've had
