Sep 29, 2025
Just me, posting the ship of my soul...
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Just me, posting the ship of my soul...
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Those of us women who love other women not only find ourselves underrepresented on screen, but it’s fairly close to zero that we hear our kind of love expressed in song between two women as w…
They Should Say Sorry
A year has passed. Twelve months since Bernie promised to wait for Serena “for eternity”, since that amazing scene in ‘Primum Non Nocere’. So, it was fitting this week that Radio Diva addressed the controversy that has followed the December episodes when Berena was shipwrecked. What did we learn? That even as the Primum episodes were being broadcast, the December debacle was already in production. There are three or four months between filming and broadcasting and three or four months between the scriptwriters’ planning meeting and filming. Actually, we knew that. That we’re unreasonable to have expected Berena to continue. We didn’t. We knew that, with Jemma unable to commit to the series long term, there would have to be a dénouement. Frankly, I didn’t expect to see Bernie ever again until she pitched up in Primum. Why film Primum at all when Berena was going to end? That the ending was good, “grown up” is the phrase they like to use. Forgive me if I find that insulting, but then I’m only 67, what would I know about being grown up? Well, being grown up means you’re old enough to recognise when you’ve made a mistake and mature enough to say you’re sorry. https://berena.writeside.net/they-should-say-sorry/
“and I think: we’re making a pledge.
Though not much in books of ritual
is useful between women
we still can make vows together
long distance, in electrical code:
Today you were promising me
to live, and I took your word”
(Adrienne Rich, For Julia In Nebraska)
One year ago today (20 June, 2018), Primum Non Nocere Part Two aired - the 928th episode of Holby City and the 25th of series 20, directed by Jennie Darnell, written by Patrick Homes, voted favourite episode of series 20 in this year’s Holby.tv Awards, and the episode that gave us eternity.
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From here to eternity and back
About a year ago, I sat anxiously awaiting the demise of Berena. It was advertised that Bernie was returning for a brief visit to Holby and the trailers didn’t hold out too much hope.
It had been a joy to see Serena still so in love with Bernie. The smile that graced her beautiful face was soft and full of love when Bernie’s name was mentioned. The texts from Bernie were very #GeekLike and the picture of the two lovers that Serena placed on her desk was positively lovely. Serena, it seemed, was thriving because she knew that under the stars there was one person who loved her. Who was in love with her.
But having watched lesbian relationships on TV for almost three decades, I knew it couldn’t last. That something would end this bliss. The statements by Simon Harper and the powers that be at Holby made me pause, because I believed they truly wanted to get it right. That maybe, just maybe, this time would be different. So, I hoped for the best but prepared for the worst.
The worst seemed inevitable. Serena and Bernie did their surgical ballet and there was some beautiful hand holding and gentle touches through Bernie’s hair but there was also misunderstanding, arguing, and a realisation that Serena had her own life separate from Bernie.
The episodes were about family and it was clear that Serena’s definition of family did not necessarily include Bernie. They loved each other but were building different lives. This, of course, led to the scene with our beautiful lovers sitting side-by-side, holding hands. I had to look very carefully to realise that their hands were clasped around Bernie’s knee. Their hands fit so perfectly together. https://berena.writeside.net/from-here-to-eternity-and-back/
“Whatever happens with us, your body
will haunt mine – tender, delicate
your lovemaking, like the half-curled frond
of the fiddlehead fern in forests
just washed by sun.
Your traveled, generous thighs
between which my whole face has come and come –
the innocence and wisdom of the place my tongue has found there –
the live, insatiate dance of your nipples in my mouth –
your touch on me, firm, protective, searching
me out, your strong tongue and slender fingers
reaching where I had been waiting years for you
in my rose-wet cave – whatever happens, this is.”
(Adrienne Rich, The Floating Poem, Unnumbered)
“Love – thou are Veiled –
A few – behold thee –
Smile – and alter – and prattle – and die –
Bliss – were an Oddity – without thee –
Nicknamed by God –
Eternity”
(Emily Dickinson, Love Thou Are High)