#berdris

Like that somehow makes what ACTUALLY happened almost even MORE tragic.

Like so many people were ready to leave him for dead; and almost took for granted that Kris would too.

But they had enough hope to stumble to the library and drag him to the hospital in the dark, they didn't just want him to live, they FOUGHT for him to live.

They wouldn't leave him for dead, no matter the cost.

so as we know, when kris picks up noelle's phone after susie throws it; and berdly unknowingly invites kris to go with him, there are two options you can pick: go with him, or just prank him.

What i think is interesting is how he RESPONDS to each option.

Go with Berdly: "K- KRIS!? You... you... the phone, you...!?" "..." "Kris, I have to say. Heh. I am. Flattered." "But if you want my hand... you'll have to fight for it." "On the day of the festival... You, Noelle, Susie..." "The lover who impresses me the most... Will be my date." "Kris, may the best suitor... Epic win." "Good luck."

Wrong number song: "KRIS!? You... you scoundrel!!" "Eavesdropping on my sweet, cartiligienous inner thoughts..." "Hmph. Go ahead and taunt, Kris." "I'M the one Susie and Noelle are falling like dominoes for." "And you know what dominoes means, Kris?" "You're next."

For the wrong number song, he attempts to be smooth and flirts with Kris, saying that they're next in line to fall in love with him. This is similar to an interaction you can have with him in chapter 2, where he basically goes "don't be disappointed kris, but I'm into susie" or some shit; like he thinks kris is flirting with him. This makes sense for his character, since he seems to have a problem distinguishing people being nice from romantic advances.

But what I find REALLY interesting is how that contrasts with when we straight up accept his invitation.

He actually gets kind of flustered, stuttering a little, which i guess is kinda normal for the situation; but the main thing is how he acts like he WASN'T EXPECTING THAT KIND OF THING FROM THEM.

This is strange to me. Like, how do those responses go together? One seems to imply that Berdly thinks that Kris wanting to date him is inevitable, but he acts SUPRISED that Kris wanted to go with him. Like, yeah, he wasn't expecting them to pick up the phone, but he fucking PAUSES and goes "Kris, I have to say. Heh. I am. Flattered." like bro is like trynna process it.

Idk man it's almost like Berdly subconsciously WANTS Kris to like him and while he keeps his ego fueled by thinking everyone is obsessed with him including them he has a biiiit of yearning deep down and it surfaces in an uncomfy way when kris says they'll go with him and he quickly patches it up with "OHO you must FIGHT for my HAND", (also why weren't you considering that when you thought it was just susie and noelle??? Does someone want to feel wanted by a certain human???? hmm????)

Also both dialogues end with a very...... SPECIFIC kind of flirtatiousness he ONLY shows Kris.

With Susie and Noelle, It's pretty much a verbose variation of "You think I'm super hot. Ur cool too ig. I will now grace you with my presence." Which is just an offshooting of how he acts in general, just acting like he thinks everyone can't get enough of him and he's doing everyone a favor by existing.

But with KRIS it's direct. It's an invitation, a challenge, almost.

He's ALWAYS trying to get Kris to engage with him. EVERY TIME he opens his mouth around them it's basically just him trying to get Kris to admit they want him in ANY way. Like You want to join MY side right kris? You WISH you had MY grades and MY gaming skills and just admit you think im cool just tell me im the coolest and smartest and most attractive monster you've ever met because you soooo think that right? RIGHT? TELL ME IM PRETTY!

Like it's crazy how badly he seems to want approval from THEM SPECIFICALLY. How in the beginning of chapter 2 he's jealous of SUSIE. JEALOUS OF SUSIE. FOR BEING KRIS'S FRIEND.

And he's NEVER jealous of Noelle for being friends with Kris.

NEVER jealous of Kris being friends with Susie.

He can't even see that Noelle and Susie are OBVIOUSLY down HORRENDOUSLY for each other much less be JEALOUS of them.

But somebody new is hanging around kris and he gets jealous.

Aaaaannnd then he acts like he has a crush on said friend and rubs that in Kris's face and suggests they're jealous of HER.

BRO.

thinking about the specifics of these supposed crushes, in chapter 2 he said himself to noelle that he was only pretending to like her back to not ruin their friendship. and his crush on susie develops after only one positive interaction, where he realizes they share a common interest. with him pretending to reciprocate the feelings he thought noelle had for him, AND falsely assuming he likes susie because they have one good interaction, it seems like it could be the result of some type of self-enforced heterosexuality, like he's trying his hardest to conform to being straight. i don't think he's homophobic or something, at least not externally, but i believe that he could be dealing with internalized homophobia, or maybe homophobia expressed by his parents that results in his own refusal to accept himself as gay.

i also noticed something about the order these "crushes" are shown in and how that could be interpreted. first he tries pursuing noelle, a girl who is not only feminine but is also kind and timid (bc she struggles to stand up for herself but he doesn't know that), which lines up with the standards of, say, a stereotypical housewife. but he expressed eventually that he doesn't actually like her that way. so instead he turns his attention to susie, who's more "masculine" and rebellious. but he doesn't feel anything for her either! he cares about both susie and noelle as friends, but he just isn't attracted to women.

and then we have kris, the effortlessly androgynes enby. berdly displays a fixation with impressing kris and proving himself smarter than them, the two of them are known to tease and banter with each other, and berdly refers to his relationship with kris as a "rivalry", which is funny when you consider that it's not uncommon for rivalries in fiction to have homoerotic subtext. i think berdly uses being rivals with kris as a mask for a crush that he can't bring himself to come to terms with, and that he may also be envious of how unbothered they are with conformity. (kerdly real)

but yeah that's about as coherent as i can make those thoughts.

I made the Kerdly song angsty :)