#benstone

Cassidy: You are the love of my life and I will never get over you

Tucker: I got married, but you’re the one that got away

Stone: I compromised all of my principles for you, I have to leave before I get worse

Elliot: I love you so much I had to move to another country before my marriage imploded, ten years later and I’m still hopelessly in love with you

Olivia Benson, a ten in every category, yet still surprised every time:

Sure, having EO endgame will be a fucking dream come true. But I don’t want it if it’s at her emotional expense (fucking Elliot being a dumbass and getting involved— and SLEEPING with other people? Whilst pushing her her away, telling her that what goes on in his life is none of her business? Fuck that very much). She’s suffered enough. I’m with her. I want HER happy.

Side note, I’m in absolute awe of Mariska, she’s a fantastic human and phenomenal actress. It’s no secret why she has chemistry with every male character that Olivia comes across (this dates back to Porter, I remember shipping them so hard. Broke my heart really that he lied to her back in season 11).

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

"Same goes to you, Anon." But Don't you assume I can be Conquered that easily. "-Benstone

I’m mad that Peter’s leaving SVU, and his exit arc very much resembles that of Rafael’s. But his reason for leaving, in my opinion and after watching Chicago Justice, was very much in line with his character. So, as much as I didn’t like how he’s subtly blaming Olivia as an indirect cause for his departure, I am kind of okay because that’s what Peter Stone would’ve done: be as objective as you can, don’t let any emotions get in the way. And being with Olivia was clearly holding him back, as a lawyer (it limits his objective views) and a person (as he sees himself being weak because of this).

So here, enjoy what I’d think would’ve passed in both of their minds during this abrupt goodbye:

“Thank you.” Olivia said with gratitude, finally feeling the burden on her shoulder disappear as the case was finally wrapped up.

“What? Because I put my integrity, my career, and everything I believe in jeopardy for a good friend?” Peter asked, pointing towards the courthouse while sounding exasperated. He wasn’t only frustrated because of the case. Peter looked back towards the woman standing in front of him, this fearless woman who wears her heart on her sleeves, and his heart aches as he let his last moment with Olivia sink into his mind.

“Yes. Yes. And I didn’t ask for this.” Olivia emphasized, wanting to get the message through that she’s grateful of his help.

“I know you didn’t ask for this, but I did it anyway. I was always going to do it.” Peter paused, finally letting a glimpse of his feelings to her, and she sees how her eyes widen in shock at his confession, “I hope you find someone like that again.” As if that wasn’t enough, he could clearly see the gears in Olivia’s mind starting to turn. She tilted her head, trying to search his eyes for the meaning of those words.

“What does that mean?” Somehow, she didn’t need to hear Peter’s answer to know what his sentence meant. His job was cursed in a way after all, not many ADAs was able to maintain the job for a long time. They’d all left: Alex, Casey, Rafael, and now joining them in stepping out of the office is Peter.

“Look at what I just did there? Now I don’t regret any of it for a minute, none of it. I’ve simply lost perspective. This is on me. It’s a weakness, and it’s a crack in my character.” Peter felt his throat tighten as his short time in New York flashed in his eyes: lamenting after his father’s death, the grief after Pam was killed, and the relapse of his drinking habits. He was weak, and Peter couldn’t be weak anymore, he had to be strong to fight in court, he had to be rooted to reality and get his head in the game. “But the fact is, you became more important to me than the case I was trying, and that is not me, Liv.“ And he could see the emotions Olivia displayed disappear as she registered his words, and now all that was left in those brown orbs was pain.

Peter leaned closer and grasped her shoulders with both of his hands, wanting to take one closer look at her, “You could look at a case with an open heart. I can’t do that, I have to- Stop.” He disregarded Olivia calling his name, he had to tell her what he needs to tell, this was his last chance. “I have to look at a case with clear eyes.” And he couldn’t do that with her. Not with her emotions slowly seeping into his career, not with her life gradually mixing up with his.

“Hold on.” Olivia protested, and she remembers Rafael’s painful good bye, and she didn’t want that to happen again. But Peter continues to talk.

“Stop. Just listen. I have to move on. I have to go, or risk getting blinded again.” He reached for her hands now, and as the seconds pass by, he could feel his heart tearing apart quicker. Peter’s now glossy eyes connected with her, and she could feel his own pain, the conflict in his soul was raw as he opened up to her, but she couldn’t seem to open her mouth to speak.

“Wait.” She could only mutter, asking for more time to collect her thoughts, because Olivia didn’t want him to go so soon, and not like this. It didn’t have to be this way, she thought, but Peter was very clear that his goals were already set.

But jeez, Peter... I totally fell in love with his chatacter, the way he was challenging everyone and how he always stayed true to the books. It's hard to let him go knowing that they might have been a slight chance of future with Olivia, that they had still a lot to do with his character. It's literally a shame.

I'm so disappointed, sad, heartbroken and mad. Mostly because I wish we could have had another ending. Olivia didn't say a word, it felt rush and shorten. Plus the scene looked a lot like Barba's one. I understand why some of you are mad because of that. I don't know if there was any point to do that but I'd love to know!

Seriously, I already know I'm not gonna like the new ADA next season. Sorry but I'm still grieving over my Peter Stone loss.