May 5
Brought my work spoon home on accident so I've been eating my work peanut butter with my work fork.
Now I have a work peanut butter rose.
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Brought my work spoon home on accident so I've been eating my work peanut butter with my work fork.
Now I have a work peanut butter rose.
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Coworker who's staying at my house for the week bought me oranges and I've been on the verge of tears all day since. Awwww. Oranges 🥺 for me? 🥺
Every afternoon, I work in my studio, at the bottom of the stairs that lead up to the master suite I share with Meli. And at some point in the afternoon, she wakes up from her day nap behind the velvet sofa, meanders out towards my chair, and does a series of groggy stretches. Then she sits in the doorway and looks up the stairs, still very sleepy, and thinks, "I have no idea what time it is/whether there are actually kibbles in that dish up there yet. Or even whether there might be monsters up there right now."
And then I say hello to her, and she says hello to me, and I look at the clock. And if it's the right time, I ask her if she wants to go for a snack (and her medicine), and she says, "yeah." And then we very, very slowly make our way together, like a couple of arthritic old ladies, up the stairs to snack land, so she can have her snack.
And then she goes back to sleep behind the velvet sofa until dinner time.
My friend: "Yeah, I make funny noises when I get knocked off my bike by a car."
Me: "Things you can say while playing GTA Online and while appearing in one of them ambulance service documentaries on Channel 4."
today i delivered to a regular and one of her kids went "YOU AGAIN?" and also i saw a mommy duck and her ducklings in the courtyard of their apartment . so today was really nice
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Ways I Was Banned From Spoiling My Friend's Pet Rabbit
Letting him have a sip of my whiskey when pet-sitting him over Christmas.
Including him in the round when it's my turn to make the tea.
Offering him a jalapeno.
Buying him a switchblade. (She would keep calling him "Bun-bun"...)
Encouraging him to eat his leafy greens by adding a bit of balsamic dressing.
(I leave it as an exercise for the reader to decide which of these I was actually serious about.)
"They should be at the club." They should be at the nice chill neighbourhood bar where you don't have to shout to be heard over the music and nobody thinks less of you for ordering a soft drink if you're not in the mood for alcohol.
(Context: My very good friend Vanessa's pet rabbit is recovering from a skin infection on his back paws. He also doesn't like being picked up.)
Nessa: "Let me see those feets, Mister!"
Me: "Things you can say to your pet and while sliding into someone's DMs."
Nessa: [Atftempts to tickle me in retaliation]