I gotta draw my boy every once in a while. No matter what style
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I gotta draw my boy every once in a while. No matter what style

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Days Gone (PS4)
Developed/Published by: Bend Studio / Sony Interactive Entertainment Released:Â 26/4/2019 Completed: 05/05/2023 Completion:Â Beat it. Trophies / Achievements: 48%
Two in a row here for me getting burned by âitâs not as bad as people say.â I mean, honestly, what is it about that that attracts me? Itâs not even successfully contrarian, because youâre really hedging your bets by waiting to be told something isnât bad before you try and stick your flag in âitâs good actuallyâ territory. Plus, what is it Iâm really holding out for? Something that I can class as ânot badâ or âquite goodâ? (And thatâs quite good in the British sense.) I mean, is it really worth my time watching a movie like Renfield to think âitâs not as bad as people sayâ rather than filling in, say, a Kurosawa I havenât seen?
But of course, you canât eat Michelin star restaurants every night; sometimes youâre going to want a (impossible) whopper.
The problem with things like Days Gone is that itâs like eating a whopper thatâs six miles long. And I know that the Whopper comes in a round bun, so if I wanted a bun that made sense giving it extra length I probably should have gone for the (vegan) chicken royale, but I could probably eat a six mile long vegan chicken royale because theyâre brilliant. And they already put about six miles worth of mayo on them.
To dig my way out of that riff⌠why are games like Days Gone like this? So grotesquely, illogically distended? I know exactly how they pitched this over at Sony HQ. A man walked in and said âWhat if State of Decay, rather than a game where players generated their own stories, was as relentlessly scripted as The Last of Us. And it played exactly like Red Dead Redemption 2.â
And before the man at Sony could respond the man pitching said âand the horse is a motorbike.â
Itâs not a horrible idea, even if the influences are worn so apparently on the gameâs sleeves that you almost wonder why youâre bothering. I mean the combat is literally Red Dead Redemptionâs right down to the âfocusâ mechanic, and theyâve even got Red Dead Redemptionâs random events and even animal hunting in it (which is crap, and thankfully you never need to bother with it.)
(A big aside here however to note that this is yet another piece of media with anti-wolf propaganda featuring the animals as creatures who attack on sight even though wolves sensibly stay the fuck away from humans. Also being forced to murder some bears in this can fuck off too.)
Anyway. Moment-to-moment, Days Gone plays perfectly well in a textbook case of âitâs not as bad as people sayâ once you actually get your weapons and bike and character upgraded a bit⌠which is another thing Iâm going to complain about. Whatâs the point in having upgrade systems in your game if it just means the first five or ten or however bloody long of your game youâre stumbling about with a character that just feels crap to play? But once you get thereâwhich takes far too fucking longâthe shooting is fun enough, driving around is smooth, and you find yourself quite easily locked into the classic open-world âthereâs always another box to tick offâ loop.
Where it falls down, really, is that there isnât⌠always another box to tick off??? The game has a really baffling way of doling out missions meaning that I often had only one mission on the whole map I could do. I actually thought I was completely screwed about a third of the way through this because the only mission I had to do was a motorbike chase and my bike was woefully unequipped because I didnât have enough âtrustâ with the camp that would upgrade my bike to actually even really keep up with the enemy I was chasing. Thanks to my incredible skills, of course, I did beat it and then suddenly about six missions all appeared, but for many players that might have been it.
(If you want to hear something ridiculous about the way the game doles out missions, you basically can only get them when youâre riding on your bike outside of the camps, meaning that youâll be in a camp with nothing to do, drive outside, suddenly get a radio call from the people inside that camp, and have to go right back. I know why they do itâwhat if you got the radio call while standing in front of the NPC in the campâbut why canât you just get the whole task on the radio? You drive back and they just tell you what to do! They could have done it over the bloody radio!!!)
The pacing here is just so incredibly off. Trust with camps takes an age to grow because doing a mission might get you (literally) 400 points of the way to 25,000, and handing in bounties or hunting animals gets you like⌠3 points each.
Later, of course, you realise itâs this way because the game unlocks its signature experience, âhorde huntingâ in the endgame, and youâll be killing so many zombies that youâre swimming in points. However that means youâve played almost the entire game unlocking almost nothing.
Horde hunting, actually, is the perfect example of how Days Gone just doesnât quite get it. Hordes are all across the map through the whole game. The game doesnât introduce the idea that you can defeat them until the end of the game. The hordes that are in the initial areas are smallerâsometimes as few as 25 zombiesâand would be perfect to learn from.
The first horde the game expects you defeat, because itâs tied to a mission? Three. Hundred. Zombies.
It is absolutely idiotic. Itâs not even a well designed encounter! The second horde you face in the story mode has a very clear path that they can chase you along lined with explosive trucks that kills basically all of them? The âend bossâ horde has a train tunnel you can easily funnel them into!Â
The thing that should be the most fun and rewarding thing in the game you donât actually do throughout the game unless you know to do it without the game telling you, so by the time you get to do them, youâre probably too fucking bored of the game to want to. I know I was.
(And even then only the story mission hordes get marked with a life bar, so if youâre facing one randomly early in the game you have no idea if youâre actually completing part of the game until the âhorde defeatedâ dialogue comes up. Which it might not, because thereâs no leeway, and if you miss a random straggler or they clip out of the world or something (I did face some geometry issues) youâre fucked. And never mind if youâd like to practice on an earlier easier horde before doing that mission once you discover it, because youâre locked out of the earlier part of the map.)
To finish giving this a kicking, I have to say the Last of Us this ainât. This has the most ridiculously po-faced and predictable story Iâve seen in a game in a while, mistaking a hero who comes across as a petulant arse as a rebel (well, when he doesnât come across as unhinged, his breathless bloodlust when entering enemy camps is laughable). Thereâs too much simplistic edgy shit that the writers mistook for profound (damn⌠man sure can be inhuman to⌠man) and the gameâs main plot, âOur protagonist is sad because his wife is dead⌠or is she?â is genuinely embarrassing.
I mean, I donât know where to start with it. I know the writers would swear blind weâre supposed to be laughing along with the game during a flashback where our hero gets married in a backwards ball cap and his new wife says âPromise to ride me as much as your bikeâ but every other flashback sequence is so saccharine to cry irony there is beyond disingenuous (and I know itâs a callback.) And the gameâs classic open-world rug-pull (thereâs more map!) leads to a sequence where no characterâs motivations make any sense at all. Why arenât these characters talking to each other, you wonder? Why did our characters make these decisions in the first place???
I did laugh at the gameâs âoh no my best friend is deadâ fake out right at the end though. It was like Danny Aiello at the end of Hudson Hawk. âYeah! Thatâs probably what happened!â
Speaking of that best friend though, (spoilers) a huge chunk of the game is about how heâs sad about how heâs lost an arm and can never ride a bike again. Thereâs a mission where the protagonist wants to fix it and I thought âoh, heâs going to find the material to get him a device that will help him control a bike one handedâ but instead he⌠makes him a knife arm.
One armed people can ride motorcycles. This game is so stupid.
Will I ever play it again? There are four post-credit missions that absurdly the game makes you wait 8 in-game days to see all of because I guess they assume youâre having at ton of fun playing it more. I wasnât, I slept in a bed for eight days and then laughed at the cut-scene promising a sequel that will never come via the silliest cliffhanger I can imagine in context.
Final Thought: The weird thing about Days Gone is that you could easily say to me âwell, the reason you didnât like this that much is that you finished it. You should have just played it till you were bored and then stopped.â Except for the fact that the game doesnât hit the sweet spot of ânot as bad as people sayâ until youâve played it for ages to get upgraded and shit. This is another game with a new game+ that seems absolutely insane because why would you want to do everything over again. Thereâs no reason this campaign wasnât ten hours long, forcing me to specialise in my first playthrough while keeping the upgrades and improvements flowing at a speedy clip and then letting me play the game again doing different things if I want to. No one wants six miles of whopper. Give me six miles of individual whoppers and Iâll think itâs a bit wasteful but Iâll happily eat a couple and move on with my life.
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Over the ridge.Â
Days Gone PS4 tribute
I hate that we will never see anymore of days gone. Mad and sad

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I actually got excited to find hims!!! I love
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