I am at home , today was supposed to be an online class day for Maternal 2 enhancement but the speakers wifi gave out. Anyways, I've just been chillin and crocheting and now I'm watching Sex and The City and the episode is about Carrie not having any money. I have about $1,000 saved up but I'm not sure what to do with it. I don't necessarily want anything apart from clothes which i'll be using 20 (1k pesos) of that to buy some clothes at the ukay shop hehe. Anyways, I just got into crocheting! Right now, im trying to make a crop top but I'm having a hard time trying to figure out how to make it into a "circle" , but im not really particularly looking into videos as well to fix it hehe.

This is me now! A quick little update about me, I am now currently single after a long battle of toxicity and abuse (on both ends) from my last relationship with Joseph.

Anyways, I've been on this journey of 'self-healing' and basically trying to regulate my nervous system and trying my best to handle my emotions better.

I no longer smoke a pack (or two) a day which was normal for me last year. Actually, my last bout of smoking was this past January but quit due to the fact that it's really hard to smoke during duty hours of clinicals.

Im about to pass my 2nd year of nursing school and moving forward with 3rd year, how exciting! i will only have one more year to go after that and then its working, im excited to make my own money again and to get away from the hells and holds of my mother who has decided to only give me and Desiree 6k pesos a month (which is absolutely atrocious). Anywho, she will not actually go through with it because she is aware of the surging prices here in the Philippines and its at a small cost to her.

I know i've been real scared about hooking up here in the PH , especially since ive only had one partner but I did hook up with this one guy who is apparently a micro-celebrity or more so an influencer here in the PH and yes, we did have protected sex, and yes, his dick was big. Another experience was this foreigner named Hass (or Huss) and honestly? Did not wanna go through that shit because i only really went for free drinks and he ate me out for like 5 seconds and after that I came to my senses, washed up, and left. Honestly, what is up with foreigners going to a lesser developed country to get some pussy anyways? It never made sense to me and its reeking desperation, its also creepy.

Anywho, right now I'm just in bed and unable to sleep. I think ill be getting my period in the next following days because my cravings are so intense that I had a THIRD supper which consisted of hot milk, loaf bread dunked in, bits and bites of my nephew's spaghetti , and a mug full of Laing and rice.

I just know that when i get back to America, life will flourish for me significantly. I will be able to breathe again and be away from the stressors that I'm not bringing upon myself.

I survived a month of mama and Aya being here last month. Aya was an absolute fucking bitch and a nightmare and she still has to give me my $360.00 . Like. It's my fucking money, yknow? ugly.

I can't think of much else to type.

In my future, I just KNOW im going to be wealthy. Like, private yacht , beach front house that is tall over looking the ocean (wont be my only home), expensive skin care, makeup, purses, and shoes type of wealthy. With the 500+ count egyptian cotton threading that is super soft to the touch and with a tall gorgeous husband who only loves me and has eyes for me. That's going to be my future. Sipping wine by the outside of the restaurant and absolutely just loving the peace, quiet, and love that is pouring in. Of course, with my 2 kids that I love dearly and will have after I've accomplished my career goals and money that I was able to accumulate. Whatever it will be, however it happens, I will get there and I am 100% sure of it.

I think that's all I wanted to share for now :)

I'm happy of the person I am at the moment. Just absolute peace and quiet. I don't have any friends for that matter, but I am okay with it unless I actually want to go out and party.

Thanks for reading this, if you've come across it.