every so often i end up doomscrolling on here. either this or reddit or ig pinterest if that counts as a social medium. anyways i end up doomscrolling bc i got fuck all to do and i always end up see something that upsets me or makes me feel sympathy and guilt. like for example gaza gfms or other sorts of "hi im in a crisis pls donate" posts. and i cant donate bc im a broke unemployed disabled 18 year old with a semi recently deceased dad and in an active dv situation (it's fine his trial is next month) but the way theyre written makes me feel like im actually a horrible evil individual for not being able to donate and that im going to burn and rot in hell forever (does not help that i am somewhat religious (lutheran) and use religion as a coping mechanism). and like, i dont blame the posters of these posts for that. theres a reason why theyre trying to get me to donate. and im not trying to minimize their struggles or crises in any way or make them about me. but it is just a consequence of me seeing the posts in question. and it sucks. i need to stop doomscrolling and learn that i dont need a constant influx of information but its just a habit i keep falling back into again and again. broke moral ocd haver sees person in crisis asking for money 5000 dead 18000 injured
