#bemyhero.task005

So when Eve had stormed off after her not fight with Fawna, you hadn't really given it a second thought: curled up in your queen sized bed with Ruffles, ready to take your batch of pills for the night, ready to fall into a heavy sleep, ready to hopefully not dream and ready to forget about your demons just for a few hours.

II.

She hasn't been in her room for a while. How long exactly, you don't know because unlike you, Eve does have her own life and can handle the city with its sounds and its dark spaces and endless anxiety triggers. But Ruffles hasn’t whined at you to let him out to go greet your sister and you know that Fawna and Adria are starting to worry now, so you start worrying too.

You know it’s a terrible idea because your psychiatrist and everyone that cares about you has tried to etch it into your brain, but you don’t take your pills that night because you’re waiting for Eve to text you back. And she always texts you back. And you don't want to fall asleep in case she wants to talk to you.

The sun rises and your phone lies dormant, silent. Your heart and eyes wide open, awake.

III.

You don’t know why the radio is on. But you listened to the broadcast. They have her. They have your little sister. They took her from right under your nose and you had no idea. Almost no idea. You’re almost as scared of the Shadow Society as you’re scared of the people who broke you in the past (even though they are dead, they will never cease to ruin your life) and you will never bear your many scars with pride. The notion of your birth mother being part of the villains that commit such unspeakable acts on a daily basis also breaks your heart relentlessly, on a loop. You just want Eve back because she has a calming power over you that nobody has. Because when you were a little girl, with fading bruises, protruding ribs and your meager possessions thrown into a trash bag, she was a baby with wispy red hair, who clung to your small hand with her tiny fingers and would babble and smile at you like you were normal. Like you were an actual Livingston. Like you wouldn’t be sleeping with a nightlight past the age of 25.

IV.

On a regular day, it takes you two hours to finally leave your room in the morning. Follow your routine perfectly, get ready, clean, get Ruffles ready, take your medicine and an extra hour of gathering the courage to actually face the day. Your brain is broken, you know that. And no matter how many diagnosis specialists have thrown your way over the years, the fact that your brain is broken remains a fact. 

But Eve is still gone and it takes you four hours to leave the room. Because you don't wanna face Fawna or Adria or Eva or Verity or anyone that could remember you’re probably the disappointment that let Eve get captured. Kidnapped. In the hands of the enemy. You want Eve back. You need your sister back. Because she helps you not feel so empty all the time. She helps you feel normal and you can gossip and talk without stuttering and watch movies like any sisters would do. And somebody is trying to take that away. They can’t. They can’t. They can’t.

V.

You don’t listen to anyone, you don't talk to anybody. You just suit up, voluntarily. Because Tatiana thinks the solution to it all is to get murdered in front of a crowd so they give Eve back to you. Everyone is saying that there has to be another way and you think so too but you’re dumb and for having powers and calling yourself a hero,you’re  pretty useless. So you follow the crowd, stay attentive, even though you tremble because of your lack of drugs and the onslaught of feelings. Lennox is spewing some nonsense about your vitals and telling you to stay calm and stay with the group but you stand immobile in your spot and ignore her. You stop ignoring her when she says that Eve is out and safe but you can’t believe her until you see your little sister and can hug her and prove its her and not some trick from the Shadows. 

Angel screams and the city collapses and you haven't seen Eve and you need to make sure she is okay so you can have a sleepover tonight and you will buy her any kind of ice cream she wants and even let her try that dye on your hair. But a rogue piece of concrete has different plans for you as it collides with the side of your head and everything goes black.