#beloric

Flashback: The Day That Never Came

(Also see on rp-crossroads)

(( This took place a week after Lycandria's Journal: Entry - Who I Really Am (My Defining Moment), which can be seen on crossroads or on Lycandria's Journal tumblr. This is also the prelude to my upcoming series, The Secret Investigation. ))

(( This took place a week after Lycandria's Journal: Entry - Who I Really Am (My Defining Moment), which can be seen on crossroads or on Lycandria's Journal tumblr. This is also the prelude to my upcoming series, The Secret Investigation. ))

Late afternoon, Lycandria strolls into her room and sighs at the pile of papers waiting for her. She walks up to the table and begins sorting them into the appropriate piles. After glancing around on her desk, it was apparent she needed to clean and organize a bit better... not to mention the need for a secretary.

Finally getting to the bottom of the stack, after signing off on a few payroll slips and leave requests, she feels the need to straighten her room. It was starting to bug her to the point of action. Moving the sorted stacks to the back of the table, she turns her attention to the amount of dust that had collected on a few books and manuals stacked in the corner. Lifting them one by one, she blows and sweeps the dust off of them, setting them to the side till reaching the last book on bottom.

As she picks up the final book, a gleam of light catches her eye, causing her to set the book down immediately. It appeared to be a ring; a golden band with a brilliant sapphire. A note was also accompanying it. "Why's this here?" she thought. She takes the ring in her palm and looks it over, then glances at the note. After closer inspection of the ring, her heart starts to race.

"For the day that never came. You were worth everything to me, and I'll always love you." - Beloric

She pauses for a moment and drops the note on the table, gazing at the ring in her palm. She covers her mouth and lightly pinches her nose, gasping in disbelief and on the edge of breaking down. She then whispers out loud, "He had the ring... He was going to..." She finally begins to weep, with her voice strained and breaking a bit. She then slowly drops to her knees and looks the ring over, sniffling and wiping her eyes. It was beautiful, and it seemed he had gotten it to match her mother's necklace on purpose.

After a few minutes of gathering her emotions, she turns to the desk that held all of her mother's belongings. She had remembered a certain entry of her mother's, and began searching for it frantically. Flipping through the pages of several journals, she sighs in frustration. She then finally finds the right page, and closes her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath.

"There is a man who goes by the alias "Shade", and someday I hope you find a way to meet him. I grew up knowing him, and he is someone I trust greatly with most of my knowledge. He works out of Dalaran, and I'm sure by the time you are reading this, he will have moved. He has been tempted to for years, but I think he's silly. He has everything he needs there to run his operation, and very discreetly."

"Nonetheless my daughter, someday soon you need to find him. He has helped me in ways no one else could have, and his connections are virtually limitless. I trusted him with my life, and you can do the same dear. Good luck and I love you." - Mother

Lycandria slaps the journal shut and closes her eyes, slowly exhaling. Her thoughts swirled around Beloric, and her need to know what truly happened to him. Perhaps Shade could help her with that, or perhaps she should just let it go. She then glances out one of her windows and sighs.

"Mother wanted me to meet him anyways... What could it hurt?" She thinks out loud.

I sat next to Evan with my head on his shoulder, as my tears were finally coming to a halt. I look out the window and then down to my mother's necklace, that Evan helped to place around my neck beforehand. I drift into deep thought for a moment before speaking.

"They both sacrificed for me... but I don't understand what it is they see in me." I pause and look at Evan. "Why me? I've never been good enough for anything or anyone. Why would they do this for me?"

Evan responds, "Obviously they thought you were good enough, Ly." he finishes with a smile.

I sigh looking down, "But how? All I've been is a disappointment..."

He smiles and raises an eyebrow, "To whom?"

"My father, and just..." I shake my head slowly, "I could never please him, no matter what I did or how hard I tried. Even if I did everything perfectly, somehow it was just never good enough..."

He shrugs, "Sounds like it was his problem, not yours..."

I look back up to him, "But what if he was right?"

He quickly responds, "But he's not."

I give him a look and raised eyebrow, "How so?"

He sighs a little and then smiles, "Would you have friends watching over you the way they have been, if you weren't worth the time?"

I pause listening and thinking, as he continues.

"If your father was right, which he isn't... there'd be no league, and no one would even bother."

I finally respond, "But what if I'm just fooling myself and leading them to a means of an end? What if I'm not what everyone thinks I am?"

He looks back with a smile and a sense of reassurance, "What if you are?" He then pauses a moment. "Everyone has bad spots in their lives... you just have to get through them and continue on."

I sit silent for a moment, thinking about his words. I then gaze back out the window and eventually close my eyes and sigh.

He then speaks again, "Let me ask you this. What would Bel want you to do? What would your mother want you to do?"

I sit silent for a moment longer, churning at my inner feelings. "You know... I'm getting so tired of feeling this way, time and again..."

I then turn and look at him directly. "They would want me to press on..." I pause a moment thinking of my words carefully, "And I will not see their memories go in vain..."

He slowly smiles and responds, "Sounds like a good way to start to me."

I slightly smile back and look around my room, out the window, and then finally down to my mother's necklace once more. I feel something rising in my heart as I speak.

"I'm going to continue on... in honor of their memory. If they saw something in me... then I will do all I can to find it in myself... I am done with my days of feeling bad about my past life... today is a new day."

Evan nods and smiles, listening as I continue.

"This is who I am now... and we are The Ravenholdt League. We will be the greatest organization that we can be, and stand for what is honorable and just... And just as you said..."

He looks at me with a raised eyebrow, as I continue.

"This isn't about my name... this is about our name... the name of the league. I'm no longer alone like I was before."

He quickly responds, "Exactly."

I finally turn and hug him warmly in embrace, "Thank you for believing in me... it means more than you know."

He returns the hug, "Not a problem at all."

I then look across the room and think of everything the league had accomplished to this point. I then smile at him with a confident look. "We have work to do..."

He gives me a smile, and we stand together. I straighten my shirt and hair, then look at him with a smile.

"You off for Stormwind?" I ask.

He nods, "That I am. I have loose ends to tie up."

I nod and smile, "Well, thank you for helping me once again. I wasn't expecting all this... but I'm glad you were here." I look at him gleaming slightly, as feelings within start to surface like before. I quickly stuff them down and out of sight before he notices. We're still just friends after all.

He smiles back and responds, "Not a problem, Ly. Just keep your head up, and you will be fine. I will see you soon I'm sure."

I nod and smile back, "Keep your blades sharp, and take care of yourself, Evan."

"You too, Ly." He finishes, turning and walking out of my room.

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I watch him leave and pause for the longest time. I stood in deep thought, staring at the door frame, and feeling a part of my confidence die out when he walked out of the room. How does he do that? I thought. How does he always know just what I need to hear? No one in my life has ever been able to connect with me in such a way. It was beyond normal, and something I often wondered if I would ever experience in my lifetime.

I finally turn back toward my bed and sit on the edge with my head in my hands, thinking about everything I've been through in my twenty-six years.

From my childhood days at the manor, the oppression and expectation set in front of me, it was a wonder I even survived. Never knowing the love of my mother, and only just recently through her writings have I known anything at all about her. Having a father that never seemed to care for me or found me worthy, and a grandfather with a high title and responsibility for the Assassin's League. He did try to look after me, but it was always limited to a degree, all based on who was around. I fear without that little bit of care and affection, I might not be writing this today. I do suppose the day I was born, he made a promise to look after me when mother passed in front of him. That had to have stuck with him, and perhaps even today.

All of the training, the sparring, the injuries, and tragic events in my youth have surely shaped me into the woman I am now. Sometimes its hard to imagine just everything I've had to endure, but nonetheless I still made it somehow. Maybe it had something to do with wanting to pursue something greater in my life, starting with the first few days I ran into the mountains, and hiding away from father and all of the manor. The Wildhammers even sought to look after me over time, not fully knowing what I was going through, but at least giving me a place to retreat and collect myself when I needed it most. I learned alot about life there as well, in ways I found lacking at the manor. It seems like every little thing when I really stop to think, has been a great showing of mercy in many key points in my life. If not for this or that, here or there, who knows where I'd be today.

When I finally left the manor and went seeking the world of Azeroth around me, I felt so free for the first time in my life. My eyes had been opened to all the possibilities, that I had been sheltered from in the mountains. The world was so much bigger and deeper than I could have imagined. People everywhere of all races, shapes, sizes, ideals, and beliefs. Everyone I met, working for SI:7 for a time among other organizations, we were all suffering, trying to survive, and searching for a better life. For the first time, I didn't feel alone in my struggles.

Then the day came when I found out just exactly what father really was, answering so many questions and strangely adding even more about just who I was. I was startled, and just flat out felt lost and robbed of my childhood, filled with so many lies and deceit. He was a monster, nothing more than just a careless, heartless dragon of the black dragonflight. What was I? Was he even my father? And how could this have been true? Why was I not a monster just like him? So many unanswered questions, lingering and tormenting me, robbing me of my true identity. I felt faceless.

After facing the campaign in Pandaria, I felt that tug on my heart as to what I was doing with my life. That was when I knew it was time for something to give, something had to change. It was time to forge my own path, knowing after what I had been exposed to, I was never going to be like the Assassin's League, and the manor was never truly my home. It was merely the place of my heritage and where I grew up. It never felt like the loving household that I should have known. No, it was time to start fresh, and on my own terms.

Now being well connected in parts of Azeroth, hearing of successful organizations abroad, I sought to start my own league in the name of Ravenholdt. I looked to many areas for inspiration, hearing tales of a female leader of one of the largest military groups that was formerly part of Stormwind's guard, The Silver Dragoons. The thought gave me hope that if she could be an effective leader, why not me? I was beginning to see a vision, I just needed to start somewhere.

Then weeks went by, and the events that unfolded in finding out everything about my mother, and what she left behind for me. Finally, the truth. Something real. Something that wasn't a lie. Something that screamed in the name of love. I had been craving this for so long, and the love she displayed just to save my life was beyond anything I'd ever known up to that point. She gave everything she had, and I can only hope someday I know the same love she had for me. I've always wanted to know the love of being a mother, and perhaps someday it will happen, but for now I must wait and be patient as I always have been.

As fate would have it, and as I sit here now writing this, it's hard to fathom just how far I've come this past year since founding the league last August. I truly wasn't alone anymore, and I was blessed by others who have tied themselves to my cause. It was then that sparked a thought about my mother's final words in her last journal. I had seen them before, but I felt the need to read them again now for some reason.

I look up and walk toward my drawer full of her alchemy research and various journals across the room. I pull it open and see everything that she left behind for me. How did she know I would find all of this some day? She was a very wise and powerful woman, one that I wish I could have known, especially the love she had for me before even knowing my face.

I pick up the journal and dust off the cover, slowly opening it and going back to sit on the edge of my bed. I slowly flip to the last written page she left off at, and set the book in my lap and press it down to keep it open. I sigh and close my eyes, looking around for a moment, before I begin reading.

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"My daughter, I leave you with this last bit of advice. The trials of life will often seem overwhelming at times, and you may even feel as if the world has turned against you, but never forget who you are, my dear. You are a Ravenholdt.

The most important thing a woman can do in her life is establish the way she is remembered when her final days have come to pass. Do not settle for the life I chose. My hope is that one day, you will press beyond the walls of this manor and shatter them in resounding fashion, as you strive to prove the world wrong about our name.

My memory will live on through you, and my spirit will always be there to guide you. Be strong, be proud, and be free my dear, for you are my daughter and you are all the best parts of me. I love you and I will always be watching over you. The fate of our name, I leave to you."

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As I finish reading the last part, I sit silently. The room is quiet, and all I can hear is the beating of my heart and the sound of my breath. I then slowly close my eyes, and feel the texture of the paper between my fingers. I slowly exhale and look down at mother's necklace, holding it out in my palm still draped around my neck. I then grasp it in my hand and close my eyes, exhaling. I could feel her presence more so than I'd ever felt before.

Something was different, and it was sweeping over me. A clarity... an epiphany... a calming. I normally found myself anxious during these moments, but this wasn't like the rest of those times. I finally understood for the first time... just who I was. It was unlike anything I'd ever experienced before.

I slowly looked around the room, taking it all in. I wiggle my toes on the wood floor and look down, feeling all the simple sensations of being human and a woman, one who's alive and finding her worth and purpose. I was finally ready to accept everything. I could feel my will and the passion of my heart take over. Now was our time.

Now, is when I stop making excuses. Now, is when the league finally starts to rise. Now, is when we shall forge the path I promised them. Now, was my time to finally take responsibility as a leader, and finish what I started. The league needed their leader back. They deserved it and I owed them that, especially for sticking by my side during my problems with Bel. I could now see just how much he compromised me as a leader. Perhaps we just weren't meant to be.

Let this now and forever stand as a vow written here until my final day has come.

I wake from the bed at the inn, opening my eyes and turning to the table beside me. I sit up slowly and look myself over, placing my feet on the floor. I was feeling better. My legs were getting stronger under me, even though I was still sore. My wounds were healed and closed for the most part, and my bandage wearing days were nearing their end.

I also was getting tired of the same room, same bed, same everything for so long now. I wanted to see my room, although I did dread to see the mountain of paperwork that had surely accumulated. I was debating whether or not I could manage under my own power, but the stairs were my main concern.

Just then, one of the nurses comes in to check on me. I tell her my plans and then ask her to retrieve my clothes from my room and bring them to me. The nurse nods and leaves.

I look around the room, still seeing Amelia recovering in the bed opposite me. I slowly walk over to her and make sure she is sleeping soundly. As I looked her over, I noticed she had become very pale and she had lost alot of weight and muscle mass. I sigh and gently rub her back and comb through her hair. I kiss her gently on the forehead before returning to the edge of my bed.

The nurse came back and set my clothes on the table. I then nodded and thanked her, before she left again.

Shortly after, I heard a knock on the door. It was Evan Shadhemir.

"Knock knock." he added.

I turn and smile, "Hey Evan."

He smiles back slightly, "How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling quite a bit better... walking more even." I slowly stand.

He watches carefully. "That's good."

I nod and glance at my clothing on the table. I pause for a moment. "I was thinking of going to my room, but I was worried about trying, with the stairs and all."

He nods. "I can certainly help, if you need."

I smile and nod. "That would be nice... Thank you."

He looks around the room, seeing Amelia. "How is she doing?"

I sigh looking in Amelia's direction. "She's doing fine for now, but she looks rough." I pause. "I'm a little worried myself."

He nods. "Hope she gets better soon."

I nod and look across to my clothing again, then down to my bandages tightly wrapped around me. They were the only thing covering me, other than my shorts.

I sigh lightly. "I need your help with something else too, I'm afraid."

He raises an eyebrow. "What's that?"

I continue. "I can't get these bandages off by myself, I'll need you to cut them." I pause a moment. "I'll turn away too, so don't worry about...you know, seeing me."

He eventually nods, as I point out the knife on the table. "Sure. Not a problem."

I stand facing the window, with my back to him. He walks up and grabs the knife, then steps behind me.

I smile a bit. "Just close your eyes. I'll let you know when I'm covered. And... of course don't cut me." I turn my head and smirk slightly.

He nods and returns a slight smirk. He then carefully starts to cut my bandages from my back, starting at the bottom. He closes his eyes when its almost cut through, stepping back to give me room.

I let out a brief sigh in relief, feeling the air around my body. The bandages drop to my feet. I then quickly fashion my bra on and reach for my shirt, sliding it down. I look at the pants and decide the shorts I have on are good enough.

I then turn toward him standing in the middle of the room eyes closed. "Okay, all good."

He slowly opens his eyes and nods with a slight smile.

I return the smile. "Thank you for helping me. And not just this, but... these past few weeks too."

He shakes his head. "That's what friends do. I'm just here to help anyway I can."

I nod and smile a bit, pausing. "You ready?"

He nods and steps aside. "When you are." He finishes with a bit of a smile.

I sigh and slowly start walking, to make sure of my footing.

We walk from the inn, and slowly make our way down the stairs into the main square of the garrison. As we get to the foot of the big stairway leading to the town hall, I pause and sigh.

"Well, I hope I can make these stairs." I look over at him.

He nods and smiles, "Oh, I think you will."

I raise an eyebrow, just as he picks me up and carries me up the stairs. I give him an unexpected look, but gives way to a small smile as I place a hand on his shoulder to stabilize myself. As soon as we reach the top, he gently sets me back on my bare feet. I smirk at him.

"You weren't kidding... and... Thank you."

He smiles back, "Wasn't going to let you be disappointed by a set of stairs." he finishes with a nod.

I nod and smile back, before we continue to my command room. Once we finally get to the door frame, I pause. He responds.

"Something wrong?"

I shake my head. "Just... I haven't seen my room in so long..." I sigh, "Guess I'm just a bit timid."

He nods understandingly.

We finally turn the corner and I see my room for the first time in weeks. Everything seemed to be in its place, however there were a few things I did not expect. When looking at my desk at first, I was expecting a large pile of paperwork. I then look to the floor and notice they had been collecting it in a box for my return. I slowly approach the desk, and notice something that stops me dead in my tracks. It was my mother's necklace, and a note to accompany it.

I swallow hard and feel the rise of emotions swell within me. I slowly walk all the way up to the desk, having a certain fear of what I was about to find. There sat my mother's necklace, seemingly untarnished with a new small golden chain, just the way I remembered it before being ripped from my neck. Along with it was a note from Beloric, his last words to me.

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"By the time you read this, you will know I'm already gone. I'm sorry everything had to end this way, but I knew this was the only choice I could make. When Khasarah sent your photo and mother's necklace, I knew there was only one way to get you out alive. She knew that I would give myself over, and I would not see you suffer for my past. I can only hope one day you will understand it had to be this way.

I also hope you know how much I have enjoyed our time together. It has been a pleasure to know such a wonderful woman, one who truly stands different than any other I've ever held dear. You've caused my heart to stir in ways no other woman has been able to. I truly do and will always love you, but your journey does not end here.

You are destined for greater things. I have seen the fire in your eyes, and the passion you have to fight for what you believe. I know in my heart that you will continue on with your life, you will have a family some day, and you will be happy. Even though your mother never knew you in her lifetime, she still knew you were going to be truly special, and I was blessed to be a witness to it.

I want you to be bold, be strong, and continue to follow this dream of yours to the end of your days. Even at the cost of my life, I can't think of a greater sacrifice to make other than to save to woman I love. I want you to forever know that because of you, I became a better man and found my purpose. I love you Lycandria, and when days seem impossible, you will always find me in your heart."

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As I finish reading the letter, I feel a numbness sweep over me. I was still trying to process everything, feeling my emotions trying to take over. This was certainly not what I was expecting to find. I hold the letter for a moment longer and then let is slip from my fingers, watching as is slowly drifted to the floor. I then grab my mother's necklace and gaze upon it in my palm.

This entire time, Evan was standing idle and watching my every move. It was likely he knew what I just read. My back was turned to him.

I then finally feel my emotions flood over me completely, looking out the window above my bed and falling to my knees. Evan silently watches on, as I stare into my hand that held mother's necklace. Tears start to roll down my cheeks, and I finally break strained words.

"He knew... he wasn't coming back..." I sniffle and look down finally, as tears start to hit the floor.

I slowly begin to calm from my weeping. My face buried on Evan Shadhemir's tabard, now a wet mess of my tears and clear snot. I sniffle and exhale with my eyes closed, embracing the feeling of just truly being held. It was something I much needed.

His hands slowly rubbing and patting my back, hearing him tell me that it was okay to just let it all out. I sigh and slowly sit back on the edge of the bed, wiping my face flush with tears. I then look up to him, apologetically.

He denies the need for an apology, and instead offers a friendly look of concern. He then as he often does, finds a way to make the situation feel lighter on my heart, making me smile and giggle. It's hard to explain just how he does it, and I always find myself wondering.

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Back when Beloric was taken the first time, I remember meeting Evan a few weeks after it all. It was at the inn in Stormshield. Being in the rare mood for a drink, and no other free seats but at his table, I figured why not? He seemed nice and harmless enough, and I did long for the company in Bel's absence.

The more we talked that night, the more interesting things became. I'd be lying if I said he didn't remind me of Bel. He just sort of had that similar ornery and fun charm. It made my situations and grief feel lighter, like there was still some type of life to be had, even after tragedy.

We met a few more times randomly in Stormwind, as if fate was working it's strange magic. Each time left me feeling more captivated and full of intrigue. He made things fun again. I couldn't deny that my feelings for him were starting to manifest deep within my heart, however something was stopping me with Bel's memory.

When Bel came back from what we believed his death, those emotions that had been growing were put on hold. I was stunned and shocked seeing Beloric back in front of me, but I was definitely full of loving joy. My love had returned from essentially the grave, and therefore Evan was pushed to the back burner.

This is when things got really hard, especially with Bel's attempts to come back to the world of the living. We often fought about him being gone all the time, even if it was to protect me from what I didn't know at the time, the Crimson Horn. Although Bel was back and still alive, I found myself feeling even more so alone. At least when he was dead it was final, but with him being alive and too busy for me, it was almost too hard to bear.

Things got even tougher when I would randomly come across Evan, still. Okay, I'll admit I did seek him out once in Dalaran, and that night was special. No one had ever made me feel that valuable in my life before. No one had ever spoken such kind words to my soul. I even left him with a kiss on the cheek.

Don't get me wrong, I still loved Bel with my heart and only him. However, feeling as if parts of our relationship were lacking, I found myself seeking comfort around Evan. He was always good with words, and told me sweet things. He would smile, make me laugh, and I felt free to truly be me again. It warmed my heart, though I felt guilty about Bel.

When Bel was finally ready to join the league, I couldn't have been happier. I felt like everything was finally going to start getting better, however I was only fooling myself. The league and Bel ended up clashing over a few misunderstandings, and what made it worse is that I wasn't there to truly know what happened. He left for his home back in Loch Modan, back where his foster family of dwarves raised him after he fled Southshore. I reached out to him a few times, but nonetheless he seemed to be content back at home. He did tell me he still loved me, but he couldn't come back.

My heart was torn. My hopes and dreams seemed to be fading. My heart sank and became heavy. I never wanted this to happen, between us and the league. I was always afraid of it.

The next day, I saw Evan. I tried my best to initially hide my feelings, but gave way to the part of me wanting to lift my heavy burden. We sat near the pond behind Stormwind, close to the farm and talked. That was the first time Evan held me to comfort me. We had often discussed my problems with Bel, but this was the first time he had his arm around me. As usual, he told me that everything would work out and that things happen to everyone. He also said things that made my heart flutter, much like the night in Dalaran.

Being that one of my weaknesses is being implusive, it couldn't have manifested in a more terrifying way. Without thinking, I leaned over in the middle of his sentence... and kissed him. Not like the friendly kiss back in Dalaran, no... I mean an intimate kiss, one that I would only share with Bel. When I opened my eyes, I was in a bit of shock, giving way to panic. What was I doing? What was I getting myself into? I loved Bel.

After that night, I felt like perhaps I had just burnt that bridge. It wasn't appropriate, and I felt tremendous guilt. Not long after, is when I was taken after patrol that next week. My heart was heavy during the patrol, but I never spoke of Evan and what happened between us. I was too ashamed.

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Now with everything that has happened, and the sacrifice Bel made to get me out alive, I found myself in a strange position. I was hurting, but the comfort of Evan in front of me at this moment, was causing me to fight within once more. My feelings for him were still there, but I couldn't afford to let the rest of the world see.

I was still mourning Bel's lose, and I feared that everyone would say that I never really loved him, should this ever come out. That simply wasn't true, but... a part of my heart felt the same. Evan was there when I needed emotional support. Evan was there when I felt like my world was crashing down on me. Evan was there to hold me, and tell me that I wasn't crazy. Evan was there... when I needed it most.

Yes, Bel was passionate about me, and loved me with all his heart. I truly believe that. But something kept taking my eyes back to Evan, and I couldn't deny it.

It was then I asked Evan to sit next to me on the bed, and hold me like he has before. We had already made the deal that being friends was the appropriate thing to do. Plus, I needed someone to help me to stop these nightmares. I just flat out couldn't sleep in peace with such a heavy heart.

The sun shines brightly down on my skin. The air feels cool in the autumn breeze, and the mountains ever so beautiful with the varied shades in color. Nothing seemed specific about where I was, but it felt like somewhere in Alterac or Hillsbrad.

I hear the laughter of children, somehow knowing they were mine. They are running, jumping, playing, and chasing around the apple trees. A little boy and girl, innocent and free. I gaze back at the house as the sun seemed to be setting, and everything in life seemed perfect. I continued to work to remove the weeds from our garden of crops. I then felt tender hands upon my back, slowly rubbing me as I pause my work. I turn around to see his face and loving smile... It was Beloric.

I turn and kiss him lovingly as he held me, squatting down to my level. The kids were off playing in the distance, just close enough to keep an eye on at least. Everything seemed peaceful, happy,... loving. I could tell Beloric was never happier, and it made me feel blessed the same in return.

I stand and he holds me close, slowly beginning to gaze at me intimately. I return the look, but think about the risk. "Here? What about the kids?" I say to him. He slowly nods in the direction of our tool shed. I slowly nod and smile, kissing him. He takes my hand and we somewhat sneak away from our kids view.

He sits me on the edge of a wooden trailer, next to the shed. We kiss vigorously and he places his hands on me in the ways a loving husband would his wife. My breath quickens and heart races.

Suddenly I hear a crackling of thunder, but I see no clouds, no rain, just a light breeze. I pause but he doesn't. I begin to wonder if he heard it, or was it just me. His shirt removed, I pull him back from me to ask him. When I saw him, he wasn't the same.

Blood was covering his face, but it was as if he didn't notice. He speaks, but his voice seems different and muffled, as if I can't remember it. I look at him and scream. It was then I knew something was wrong, as another crackling of thunder filled my ears.

He stands away from me, and falls to his knees as if he was dead. Blood pouring from his mouth, some spewing onto me. Memories begin to flash in my head taking me back to the cave. He was on the floor in chains, the last image I could remember before he disappeared into the portal.

A flash gives way to my view, when I was captive in chains. I see Khasarah's fists coming for my face, and the pain they inflicted apparent. Blood pours from my face, looking down at the cave floor.

Another flash takes me back to our home, where Beloric was laying on the ground by the shed, lifeless. It was now cloudy, lightning was crashing and the wind strong. Rain began to pour and darkness grew even darker. All I could hear was the screaming of my own voice. The kids were gone. Beloric was gone. I remained. I then hear the laughter of Khasarah slowly fill my head.

Another flash takes me back to the cave, Khasarah standing over me. Her voice echoing things in my head, that continue to haunt me. "I told you we would be together again..." She evilly laughs. "Nothing you can do... Nothing you can do to stop it...stop it... it....it..." Her voice echoes over and over. I then scream once more, as I see his face again. I can feel my heart break, looking into his lifeless eyes. I collapse onto the cave floor.

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I then suddenly sit up in a panic, my breath heavy and my eyes bugged out. Tears are streaming down my face. I was back at the inn, still recovering in my bed. A nightmare... again, for the millionth time. However, I awaken to something I didn't expect.

A dear friend, Evan Shadhemir was standing in the door frame. He had come to check on me. When I sat up in my panic, he came to me and tried to calm me. I collapse on his chest, bawling and wailing as he held me.

A nightmare... Please someone tell me this has just been some crazy nightmare all along... Just some stupid and cruel dream, and that I'll really just wake up next to him (Beloric), still sleeping beside me and holding me in his arms.

My eyes still closed. Maybe, just maybe I thought... but this doesn't feel like my bed. The sound of dishes clanking and visitors down below. The pain from my captivity becoming more evident as I slowly come back to my cold, harsh reality... No, I couldn't bear to open my eyes, nor the thoughts coming with it, but unfortunately... this was real. He was gone... again.

I slowly open my eyes, still hindered from being swollen. As I figured, I was upstairs of the inn recovering in one of the beds. I carefully turn my head, looking at the end table beside me, having a number of healing supplies and wraps. I also notice Amelia across the room from me, recovering in the other bed. I feared what happened to her, and did it come at the hands of my rescue. I try to sit up, wincing in great pain from my badly bruised ribs. They felt broken, just like my heart.

Nurses come into the room to check on me, telling me to lay still. They told me that I was still in fairly bad shape, and that I shouldn't attempt to do anything without their help for quite a while. They also told me that my ribs were bruised, but not broken, if one could count that as relief from the grief sweeping over me.

I did as instructed, being forced to face one of my biggest fears, for what seemed to be an unforeseeable future. Hopelessness, torment, grief, anger, regret, and the anxiety that comes with it all. But the worst feeling by far... knowing there was nothing I could do to escape it, or change it. I was stuck in this bed.

I lay on my back, starting to fight tears. Emotions flood over me, like a large waterfall pouring over me and pulling me under. My weeping picked up, but was immediately halted by the pain in my abdomen. I couldn't even cry properly without hurting... this was absolute hell I had awoken to.

I began to think that maybe I should just give everything up. Anything good I've ever come close to having in my life, always ends this way. Never knew my mother growing up, since she died at my bearing. I was never good enough for my father, no matter how hard I tried to please him. And my grandfather, whose love for me was limited due to his position at the head of the Assassin's League. He couldn't afford to appear too weak, although he did his best for me.

The footsteps slowly closed in on the area, with the slight clanking of plate armor drawing near. I had a fear rising inside me, then was confirmed hearing Beloric's voice. My heart sank deeply. This wasn't happening.

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Beloric slowly approaches the middle of the room, "I'm here, Khasarah. Alone, just as you asked..." He looks directly at her, not fearing the others around him.

Khasarah smirks, "Beloric my dear... It has been too long... I hope you are as alone, as you say you are..." Khasarah then nods to a few guards to check the pathway into the room they were in. She then motions for a few others to take his weapons. "It would be helpful if you cooperate... I'm sure you understand. I can't have any foolishness." She smirks, "As much I do remember it." She then lightly chuckles.

Beloric eyes the guards around him, eventually handing them his weapons. He then looks back to Khasarah.

Beloric: "I have a proposal..."

Khasarah gasps and smiles, "Oh?... Please do enlighten me, darling..."

Beloric sighs and then continues. "I will give you what you want, but we do this my way... I'm offering myself in exchange for Ly's freedom to walk out of here, unhindered and alive..." he then looks sternly at Khasarah. "Should anything stray from this plan... I won't hesitate to do what needs to be done... This ends now... and you will never darken her door ever again."

Khasarah pauses for a moment, bites her lip, and smirks. "I'm glad you are finally seeing things my way, darling..." She then appears in thought, looking deviously. "I think your requests can be arranged."

Just then, the guards come back from scouting the cave. One of them, an orc, speaks.

Orc: "All is clear."

Khasarah smiles, pleased. She then slowly approaches Beloric, as her finger traces along his armor, making a complete circle around him, and looking him over. Beloric stands idle.

Khasarah: "I told you that we would be together again..." She then stands back in front of him and kisses his cheek, before backing up.

Beloric closes his eyes and finally speaks, "I demand to see her...now..." He looks sternly at Khasarah once again.

Khasarah smirks and motions for a few guards to grab the key from her hand, and then bring Lycandria to the middle of the room, in chains.

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I hear the guards footsteps close in, as I squirm a bit knowing what was to come. I still couldn't believe what was happening. I then notice my chains loosen, causing me to fall forward from being so weak. They detached me from the chains on the wall, but I'm still bound to a harness with all the locks still around my wrists and ankles. They pull me up, and slightly drag me with them, unable to walk as I normally do.

As I turn the corner, I see Beloric and Khasarah awaiting my arrival. I look into Beloric's eyes, and can see the pain in them, as he sees my condition. I'm then shoved to the ground in front of them, grunting in pain. Beloric begins to move toward me, but is then stopped by the drawing of blades, holding him back.

Khasarah: "Not so fast..." She smirks, and then orders her guards to stand down. Beloric stands back in place and looks down at me.

I then look up to him with sorrowful eyes, after catching my breath. My voice quivers.

Lycandria: "Bel... you shouldn't be here... Don't... do this..." Tears start to run from my swollen and beaten eyes.

Beloric looks down at me, holding the tears welling up in his eyes, "I have to..." he lightly whispers. Khasarah interrupts.

Khasarah: "The deal has been struck, this happens now or never, darling..." She looks at Beloric for an answer.

Beloric pauses and finally gives the nod. Khasarah nods to the guards behind me, and they unlock me from all my binds. I slump to the ground, and immediately fight my fatigue to get up to Beloric.

I wrap my arms around him tightly, ignoring the pain. He wraps his arms around me as well, as I begin to weep, not wanting to let go. I then pull back and look up at him fully, knowing it could be the last time I ever see him. My hands caress his face and I lean up to kiss him dearly, even with my busted and cut lips. The feeling of his lips against mine, I valued more than any other time we had ever shared before. I then whisper to him.

Lycandria: "We can run, right now... we can do this...together..."

Just then, I feel the forceful hands of the guards rip me out of his arms, dragging me away from the area. Beloric turns to me with tears in his eyes, as I'm screaming for him.

Lycandria: "No! NO!...Bel!... BEL!!!..... I LOVE YOU!!!" I scramble with every bit of fight I had left in me to get free, but I can't. I was too weak.

He looks at me and speaks, as they put him in a harness and binds, "You are free, now... and that's what matters... Have a good life, Ly..." He finishes as a tear finally falls down his cheek.

I continue to scream for him as I'm dragged away. I then see Khasarah reach into her pocket and activate a stone, opening a portal behind her and Beloric. I watch in horror as the both of them disappear before my eyes. The portal closes, and all that is left is Khasarah's unit. I then suddenly feel a cool wind rush through the cave, and the sound of arrows releasing behind me.

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Just then, I see Blindseer leap onto the back of one of the guards dragging me, as the arrows released from Amelia slam into the neck of the other. She comes racing up, accompanied by Electra, Gweneth, and Sorya. The League was here, they had been waiting.

I fall to the ground in a heap, face first. The League finally reaches me, as they prepare to slaughter Khasarah's unit. Amelia checks my condition, then looks up glaring at the Horn preparing for battle. Electra gives the command, as she looks down at me, then back into the room.

Electra: "Kill them for what they have done... kill them all..."

Amelia, Gweneth, and Sorya follow suit, as Electra stealths and enters the room. Amelia stands to guard me, while Blindseer follows the others.

I remain on the ground, feeling as if everything that could have gone wrong, just happened in front of my very eyes. I was in shock, I still didn't want to believe what had transpired. I wasn't ready to accept that I may never see him again. I just couldn't bear the thoughts, as they begin to torment me, much like the first time he was taken. I was reliving this hell all over again.

The thoughts of the life we could have had start to flood my mind. He told me one day he was going to marry me, and I remember just how it felt to hear those words release from his lips. Every tender kiss, touch, and moment we shared before, and now to think that life might never happen. How could it just be, gone? Absolute fear and despair begins to wash over me. I felt my will to live, slowly begin to leave me.

It was then I remembered the orc, Zul'fron. My heart spiked with fear. The League, they didn't know. I give my best effort to crawl back towards the room, as Amelia was still firing arrows into the room ahead of me. I crawled as fast as I could, hoping and praying I would reach her in time. I finally reach her boot, tugging at her and calling for her attention.

I then looked up as she released the arrow meant for Zul'fron. I look over to see him attempting to flee and stay clear of the fight. The arrow catches him in the throat, and I watch in horror as Blindseer pounces on him to finish him off. My heart sank even deeper into my chest, wondering how that was even possible. Not only did I lose Beloric, but now I failed to save a good orc, one that I come to call a friend. If it weren't for him, I don't know if I'd still be alive myself.