latest Jarah b headcanons?! It’s been a min since I’ve read your thoughts 👀❤️
JJ & Newborn Baby Pogue
Listen this started as a headcanon but I have a whole storyline with 4 side plots going on within this concept & I just couldn’t stop writing so… it’s a long one #sorrynotsorry
👶🏼 While Sarah is pregnant, JJ is doing the most. (Well. Second most. After JB of course.)
👶🏼 This man is learning everything he can about pregnancy & babies
👶🏼 He reads to Sarah’s belly when JB is at work—constantly talking to it because he heard “babies can start to recognize voices while they’re still inside & then when they’re born they recognize them on the outside too”
👶🏼 Basically SUPER fucking excited to be the best uncle a kid could freaking ask for.
👶🏼 Until said kid is born.
👶🏼 He realizes how tiny it is and is SUPER sketched out. Doesn’t want to hold them bc “what if I drop them?” “What if they break?!”
👶🏼 Isn’t super comfortable with a newborn.
👶🏼 Even when they get home from the hospital, & everyone is settling into a routine.
👶🏼 JB & JJ talked a LOT about what would happen after Baby Pogue came and JB shared his fears of Sarah being more suceptible to PPD & what to be on the lookout for.
👶🏼 So JJ, unable to do anything halfway, is now on high alert for making sure Sarah is okay and transitioning okay.
👶🏼 He’s more concerned about how she’s doing than he is bonding with the baby (at least right away because he’s fearful of hurting Baby Pogue)
👶🏼 Until Sarah starts to struggle with breastfeeding.
👶🏼 And JBs at work.
👶🏼 And JJ is the only person home.
👶🏼 “JJ!”
👶🏼 The tone of her voice is panicked and that jolts him into running to her and JBs bedroom door.
👶🏼 Sarah is sitting on the bed, propped against pillows, bouncing a screaming Baby Pogue & she has tears streaming down her face.
👶🏼 “Sarah?!” He runs over to her side of the bed, and looks her over for any signs of blood, or protruding bone.
👶🏼 “JJ please” she cries, leaning into his side where he was standing.
👶🏼 He kneels down next to the bed. Left hand to her head, right arm resting on her right.
👶🏼 “Sarah what’s wrong.”
👶🏼 “Take them please.” She begs him.
👶🏼 He chuckles, but doesn’t find any humor in the situation.
👶🏼 “Sar i really don’t think that’s a good idea.”
👶🏼 “JJ I need you.” And her voice breaks because she’s on the verge of sobbing.
👶🏼 & his hearts in his throat bc Sarah is in pain (or at least it seems like it) & there’s no one there to take the baby so he can make sure she’s okay.
👶🏼 He looks from crying mom to crying baby, and back again.
👶🏼 & if it’s what she needs, it’s what he’ll do.
👶🏼 “Okay.” He agrees. Going against everything his mind is screaming at him as he holds his arms out for her to transfer the baby to him.
👶🏼 “Like this?” He checks, making sure their head is securely stabilized.
👶🏼 “Yeah.” Sarah whispers, her voice breaking again.
👶🏼 “Talk to me Sarah.” He says, sparing a glance from the baby in his arms back to his best friend in the bed.
👶🏼 Now that her arms are free, she brings them to wipe her face, before she’s gingerly touching her breasts.
👶🏼 “I’m in a lot of pain.”
👶🏼 He bounces the baby in his arms like she was doing before, not even realizing he was gently shushing them as he moved his arms. He looks back at her for a second longer this time, and noticed her eyes still closed.
👶🏼 “What kind of pain, Sarah, what’s going on?” His voice is soft and gentle. Even though his body is trembling out of fear.
👶🏼 “Do you need me to call John B?”
👶🏼 “Please?”
👶🏼 & it’s the fact that she agrees without argument that really scares him.
👶🏼 “Okay.” he mumbles to himself, laying the arm holding Baby Pogue on a pillow Sarah had in front of her as he pulls his phone out from his back pocket and hastily calls John B.
👶🏼 Baby Pogue wasn’t screaming bloody murder anymore, but was still voicing their unhappiness, which, if JJ wasn’t thinking five steps ahead, would have calmed him at least a little bit.
👶🏼 As the phone rang, Sarah grabbed a pacifier and gave it to BP.
👶🏼 They were content for a moment before realizing that the object wasn’t one that one providing nourishment & spit it out.
👶🏼 “They’re hungry.” Sarah almost wailed, dropping her head to her hands.
👶🏼 JJ, not fully comprehending what that meant, held the phone with his shoulder while picking up the pacifier and trying again. This time BP was content to suck a little longer on the comfort object.
👶🏼 “JJ?”
👶🏼 John B’s voice rang through his right ear, and he could’ve cried with thankfulness.
👶🏼 “JB.”
👶🏼 “Hey, what’s—“
👶🏼 “Hey you gotta get home man.”
👶🏼 John B knew JJ well enough by now that he could tell when panic was taking over.
👶🏼 “Woah woah woah calm down, bro. What’s going on. I’m leaving right now.”
👶🏼 JJ closed his eyes in relief. His brother was coming to help him.
👶🏼 Not to alleviate the situation entirely, but to offer support so they both could help.
👶🏼 “Yeah, man. Something’s wrong with Sarah.”
👶🏼 The girl in questions head raised out of her hands at the mention of her name.
👶🏼 She still had her eyes pressed closed, & tears still tracked down her face, but he was looking at her, and she breathing.
👶🏼 JJ glanced at the baby to make sure they were still okay, and when he was met with blue eyes staring up at him—more blue than he’d ever seen actually—what was meant to be a glance turned into a few moments longer.
👶🏼 “JJ!” The voice in his ear yelled.
👶🏼 “Yeah, she’s okay.” He glanced back to make sure his sister in every sense of the word was still breathing.
👶🏼 Yupp. Still breathing. Hey. Maybe he could handle this.
👶🏼 “I’m looking at her right now JB.”
👶🏼 JJ grabbed Sarah’s hand, causing her eyes to snap open at him. He didn’t know if he did it to comfort himself, or her, but now that he had an arm on both his brothers wife, and baby, he felt a little more confident.
👶🏼 “JJ I’m doing 80 in a 55. Tell me what happened.”
👶🏼 “Sarah called for me.” He started, relaying the last few minutes to his friend, as he heard the vehicle accelerate.
👶🏼 “She asked me to take Poguie. Something’s wrong, but I think they’re just hungry?” He questioned still keeping eye contact with Sarah, asking if he got the information right.
👶🏼 Sarah took a shaky breath in.
👶🏼 “It’s because I can’t feed them.” Her broken voice whispered.
👶🏼 More tears.
👶🏼 Maybe he didn’t feel as confident.
👶🏼 “Sarah says she can’t feed them.” He relayed to John B.
👶🏼 “I—“ JJ thought he had prepared. Done enough research. 👶🏼He didn’t pay much mind to the intricacies of breast feeding because he figured Sarah had that part under control.
👶🏼 His eyes flicked from Sarah’s face, to her breasts, & back to her face.
👶🏼 His next words come without thinking.
👶🏼 “Are they…”
👶🏼 Sarah looks at him again as he tries to ask the question.
👶🏼 JJ whispers. Trying to be sensitive.
👶🏼 “Are they broken?”
👶🏼 & the smile that breaks out on Sarah’s face is genuine.
👶🏼 “No, JJ.” She says, a laugh almost breaking through. “They’re not broken.”
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Request: another request for jarah haha i love ur writing
“Let's get all that hair away from your face, okay? Where's your hair tie?"
“Shhhh, I know it hurts, I'm sorry."
carrying the other one in their arms
braiding the other’s hair
Words: 3.3 K
A/N: This takes place in the “i need you” universe & about a week after We Have Some News. This is a hurt/comfort fic, and i think my longest yet. Enjoy! <3
JJ usually woke up before John B on Wednesdays since he typically left the house at 7am, and John B slept until at least 10am from working late on Tuesday nights. He knew Sarah was something of an early riser; the two having had their fair share of morning coffees together on the porch before starting their days. So it wasn't necessarily a surprise to JJ that Sarah was awake this early. What surprised him though, was when he walked through the hallway, and heard her moan from the bathroom. This also was something that he wasn't unaccustomed to, given the fact that she and John B had been together for going on 4 years now. The walls of the Chateau definitely were not noise-cancelling. However, he sensed that this instance was not related to the bedroom-induced sounds, and given the fact that she was in the hall bathroom instead of the one off of their room made the skin on the back of his neck prickle with concern.
He leaned next to the door and knocked twice. "Hey Sarah?" Her answering moan of his name had him thanking God that she didn't lock the door, because his reflex to immediately turn the doorknob wasn't in vain. The open door created enough space for him to peek his body in the small bathroom. The sight that met him caused a jolt of adrenaline to shoot throughout his entire body. Sarah was leaning against the toilet, head resting on her arms, and too weak to lift her head in his direction. JJ slid into the room, and moved to her side, gently placing a hand to her arm in case she was too incoherent to realize that he was now next to her. "Hey," he greeted, trying to keep his voice steady. "What happened? Are you okay?"
Her eyes opened to reveal just enough light to allow her to realize JJ was sitting in front of her. She immediately closed her eyes again and breathed from her mouth. "Sick." was the only thing she managed to get out. He watched her try and swallow before turning her head just enough to get sick in the toilet bowl.
"Got it." JJ moved around to rub at her shoulders and upper back until she was done. He had no idea how long she had been in the bathroom for, but it had to have been awhile for her to be as weak as what she was. Her skin was slick with sweat, and her whole body was shaking so much that he didn't understand how she was still able to keep herself in a somewhat upright position. "Where's John B?"
"Sleep." Sitting in the same position for so long much have had her muscles sore, because her body followed his voice. The fact that she (1) hadn't immediately told him to leave, and {2} that she leaned against him, not even bothering to check and make sure it was alright with him like she always did before initiating physical contact, was all the proof he needed to know how truly shitty she felt. Sarah Cameron. Queen of Consent. "Didn't want to wake him."
After a moment of debating, he said, "I think I'm going to go and get him, okay?"
"I don't feel good."
"I know, Princess. Hang on. I'm going to lean you against the toilet just for one second while I go and grab JB, okay?" He didn't want to move her any more than he needed to, but he also knew that John B needed to know. (And further, that he would for sure kill him if he neglected to share that information.)
"K."
After making sure she wasn't going to fall and crack her head off the tile floor, he hesitantly moved towards the door. "Okay, I'm gonna go get John B and we'll be right back, okay? You'll only be alone for like... a minute tops, I promise." Her response wasn't exactly a "K." but it was close enough, giving JJ enough courage for the moment to sprint to the couple's room off the kitchen hallway, and barge through the door. "John B, wake up." No time for pleasantries. His friend was laying on his stomach, arms curved around the pillow his head was resting on. He blinked at the intrusion, clearly still very much asleep as of 5 seconds ago, but JJ was already launching into the information he needed to give him. "Get up. Sarah's sick and can barely hold herself up. You need to help her."
John B was off the bed in an instant, pulling a pair of basketball shorts on and running a hand through his hair, already wide awake at the urgency JJ was speaking with. His best friend caught him glance toward the dark bathroom on the other side of the room.
"She's in the hall bathroom. I don't know how long she's been in there but I just found her and she's getting sick, and sweaty, and can't hold herself up and I don't know what to do."
They had already started moving through the house. When they got to the living room, John B turned over his shoulder and gave instructions. "Can you get some water and crackers?"
"Course," JJ was thankful he had something helpful to do with his hands, while John B jogged the rest of the way to the bathroom.
He could hear her retching as he knocked on the door, signifying his presence and stepping into the room. "Hey." His voice was soft, and his movements slow as he approached her. JJ was right, she was definitely sick. She looked exhausted and was drenched in sweat so much that her hair was plastered to her head. Her arms trembled all the way to her shoulders, and she appeared only had enough strength to turn her head from one side to the other. "What happened?" John B sat in front of her, running a hand over her forehead, and cheek, gently caressing in a way that always calmed her.
"Sick," was the only answer she provided.
"Yeah, I see that. Are you okay? Do you need anything?"
Sarah's head shook back and forth the tiniest amount, the sudden movement causing a dizziness behind her closed eyes, so she opted for breathing through her mouth instead.
"JJ's bringing you water," he continued, "I think you scared him." He chuckled at his best friends concern. "He was white as a ghost."
Sarah attempted a laugh, but it ended as a groan.
JJ didn't bother to knock, as he was the only other person in the Chateau, and he had already been in the room once. He held a bottle of water to his torso with his left arm, a sleeve of saltine crackers in hand, while he opened the door with his right. He handed John B the water and crackers, who then set them on the floor next to the other side of the toilet. With nothing else to occupy the friends, there was a moment of a somewhat awkward silence.
Sarah was the one to break it. "Y'don't have to be here y'know." She still didn't open her eyes.
"Yeah right." JJ scoffed. "Like we're just going to leave you here by yourself. Good to know you still have your sense of humor, Princess."
Sarah gave a weak attempt at a smile and flipped him off.
John B had her drink a sip of the water, (which took all of the remaining strength she had) and asked her if there was anything she needed.
"Y'all to stop staring at me." Her eyes were still closed, making the two boys stare flick to each other before settling back on her.
There was another moment of internal debates from all parties involved.
"I guess I can go to work?" It sounded as if JJ Maybank was asking permission, which everyone in the room knew never happened. "Unless you guys need anything?" The second part was more geared at John B than at her though.
"Nah man," He rubbed her girlfriend's back, planning on spending the foreseeable future right where they were. "I think we'll be alright."
"Prolly be here when you get home." Sarah jested, and he hoped that meant she was feeling a bit better.
"God, for your sake I fucking hope not!" Sarah gave him a half-hearted middle finger and smiled to herself. "You'll give John B a heart attack before noon!" He turned to the boy in question, "you'll call if you need anything."
"Course." He initiated the handshake he had done with his best friend since they were eight. "Though we'll probably be laying low most of the day."
"Good." JJ gave one more glance at Sarah, "Keep that one out of trouble."
"Go away JJ." came out as more of a moan more than anything, lacking the level of annoyance the blonde usually added.
"That's my cue." He saluted John B before disappearing from the bathroom. They heard him shout "Love you, Princess!" through the house before hearing the door slam behind him.
John B turned his attention back to his wife, and brushed her hair behind her ear. He felt her forehead and she was considerably warm. "You're burning up baby." He put the back of his hand against her flushed cheek, and she leaned into the cool touch. "Here," he started gathering her hair in his hands, careful not to pull her head around too much. "let's get all that hair away from your face, okay?" He glanced at her wrists. "Where's your hair tie?"
"Cabinet."
He laid her hair back down and rummaged through the few cabinets they had in the bathroom. It didn't take long to find the item in question, and he quickly flicked it onto his wrist before moving behind her again.
He ran a comforting hand slowly up and down her spine like he knew she liked. "Sarah, I don't want to move your head around too much so I'm going to braid it okay?" John B wasn't an expert at doing hair by anyone’s standards, especially his wife’s. However, he'd learned how to braid rope to make it stronger before he was seven, so hair couldn't have been that much different.
He finished quickly. It wasn't pretty, but it was effective in getting her hair out of her face. He thought she might've been lulled to sleep and surmised that wouldn't have been the worst thing to happen.
He found he was wrong when only a couple moments later she spoke a clear, "John B?" She sounded scared, and his heart broke as he thought of how long she was in here, suffering alone, before JJ found her.
"I'm here, baby, I'm right here." He came to the side of her, his left arm still snaked around her back, and his right rubbing her bicep.
Her breathing quickened, and she held her head up in her hands, body still trembling.
"It's okay," he attempted to soothe her. "If it's going to happen, let it happen." He leaned down to kiss her shoulder. "Don't try and fight it, I've got you."
Tears started to streak down her face and she eventually vomited again.
When a few minutes had passed without incident, he reached up to flush the toilet. Her body sagged into his, and he pulled her to his chest.
"You're okay." John B soothed, letting her cry, "You're okay." He noticed one of her hands, reach down to rest lightly on top of her stomach, and he kissed the top of her head. "This baby's really giving you a hard time starting out, huh?"
"It just hurts." Sarah explained, so spent and drained that she couldn't help but whine, leading to even more tears.
"Shhh," John B comforted, kissing her head another couple times. "I know it hurts, Sarah, I'm so sorry." He knew he had to keep his own emotions in check, but it was proving difficult when arguably the most important person to him (no one tell JJ) was hurting so bad, and he couldn't do anything to help besides offer support.
"Have you tried eating anything yet?" He asked when her cries had quieted a bit.
She brushed the back of a shaky hand across her cheek. "No."
He tried not to smile at whiny Sarah. He knew she was going through hell and felt worse than probably any hangover he'd ever had, but no one could deny that even here, on their bathroom floor, he still found her absolutely adorable.
Thankfully, the saltines were within his reach.
"Why don't you try and nibble on a cracker and see if that helps?"
Her response sounded something like "don't want to get sick again."
"It can only help at this point, and having something in your stomach will help, even if you do get sick again."
In the end, she ended up eating a full cracker, convinced by her husband's reasoning, and even asked for another.
"Let's wait a few minutes and see if you still feel okay after eating one. Then we'll see about trying another."
Again, convinced of her husband's reasoning, and without any way to really refute, she agreed. This happened another time until Sarah had kept down three crackers, and several sips of water in between.
He could tell she was feeling a little better when her strength improved the tiniest amount, and she no longer was leaning quite so heavily on him.
And when she made it a full 30 minutes without anything coming back up, he posed the question of moving to the bedroom where she'd be more comfortable.
"Yeah," she had agreed. "I'm sure you're tired of sitting on the floor."
"I'll sit on the floor all day if you needed me too."
"No," she smiled at him. "I honestly am feeling better after eating," she attempted to sit up straight in order to stretch her joints, but quickly shot a hand back out to John B to steady herself. "Super weak though. I can't see anything."
John B moved behind her to better support her. "What do you mean you can't see anything?" His hands were frantic as they braced against her. When she didn't respond his heart dropped. "Sarah?!"
"I'm okay." she said lowly, and he could tell she was breathing through her mouth.
"Sarah you have to talk to me."
"I just moved too fast," she explained, "I think I'm so weak that moving made me super dizzy and the colors and fuzziness just took over my vision." She grabbed his arm. "I'm okay now. It came back, but we might actually be here when JJ gets back, because I don't think I can walk."
"It's okay." his hands rubbed into her hips, arms relaxed behind her back in case he needed to make a quick grab for her. "We'll stay here for a few minutes."
Sarah continued to breath deeply, and he would put any money on the fact that her eyes were closed, even though he couldn't see her.
"Do you feel like you're going to get sick again?"
"No." she answered on her next exhale. "No I think I'm okay."
"Alright, here's what I think we should do." He kissed the top of her head, though maybe more for his own sake than hers. "I really think you'll be more comfortable in bed. We can turn on a movie, you can sleep if you want, and if you start feeling shitty again, I can put a trash can by the bed."
Sarah nodded. "Good plan. Just don't drop me."
John B scoffed. "My precious cargo is carrying precious cargo." He moved to her side, one arm bracing across her back, the other pulling her arm over his shoulders before moving under her knees. "There's no way I'm dropping you."
"I don't know," she joked. "I've put on baby weight, and you might not be as strong as you think."
John B actually laughed this time. Partly because what she said was funny, and partly in relief because he knew she was feeling better. "Sarah. The baby is as small as a grain of rice right now. I really don't think you've put on baby weight."
"I will though." she muttered to herself.
"Alright, we'll talk about that later." He flexed his forearms in preparation. "I'm going to pick you up now, okay?"
She nodded, eyes still closed.
Once he had her pulled to his chest, he froze, checking to make sure she was okay. When she nodded that she was, he slowly walked them back to their room across the house, and put her, carefully, in bed. After making sure she was content for a moment, and letter her know exactly what he was going to do, he went back to grab the crackers and water, the trash can from the office, and their copy of Mean Girls from the living room.
When he entered their room again, Sarah was in the exact place he left her: under the blankets with her eyes still shut. He wasn't sure if she was sleeping yet or not, and decided not to break the silence in case she was close. He placed the necessities next to her side of the bed, loaded the movie in the DVD player, made sure the remote was in reach, and crawled into bed beside her.
John B had fallen asleep beside her enough to know when she was actually asleep, and the deepening and evening of her breathing signified that she had. He took a deep breath of relief. Good, because god knew she needed it.
He grabbed his phone to text JJ an update, when he noticed he had five unread messages, and at least one was from his best friend. He had an unread text from Kie saying to let her know if they needed anything, and knew JJ had updated their friends on the this mornings events at the Chateau.
He opened the thread with JJ and read the messages in the order they were sent:
Make sure she gets some water in her. she's obviously dehydrated.
The next was an audio message.
Hey I just got off the phone with Pope. I had him google it, and I think she needs to eat something. He said sometimes not eating can even be the cause of the sickness, which is kinda backwards to me but maybe the baby is always hungry??? I don't know if it is or not, but it doesn't hurt to try eating anyway and see if it helps ya know? If she can't keep it down and doesn't get better within an hour or two though, I really think we should take her to the ER. Pope said if she gets too dehydrated they have fluids and medicine and stuff that can help get it into her system without making her throw it all up again. Anyways, I just wanted to let you know to try and get her to eat something. Let me know if you need anything. Love ya JB.
I'm assuming you don't have your phone, but just wanted an update on Princess.
And another audio message.
Hey man, If I don't hear from you by 10, I'm gonna swing by to check on you guys. You know how nervous I get, and I'd just feel better if I can see you guys even if I can't do anything to help. Hope everything's good. Lemme know.
John B felt a pang in his heart at the measures their best friend went through to ensure Sarah’s safety. His wife and best friend had a special relationship, and he couldn't believe he was lucky enough that both of them not only loved him as much as they did, but each other as well. He typed out a quick message, detailing that yes, eating helped, no, they wouldn't need to go to the hospital, and no, JJ didn't need to come check on them.
He had just closed his eyes after hitting send when he heard the bike come up the driveway. He slipped out of the room and saw JJ was moving with a purpose down the hallway: hat in one hand, the other pressed over his chest.
When his eyes hit John B he visibly relaxed. "She's okay?" He checked.
John B nodded his confirmation, and looked toward the bedroom door. "Sleeping."
JJ relaxed even more.
"It's only 9." John B smirked at his friend after a quick glance at the clock.
"I couldn't wait anymore man!" He whisper-yelled in his own defense. "You're not the one that found her this morning! She freaked my shit out!"
John B had pity on him, and closed the distance between them, pulling him in for a hug and clapping him on the back.
"I love you, J." The seriousness in his voice caught JJ off guard and he squeezed his arms around his best friend just as tight.
"I love you too, man."
They pulled apart after a minute, and John B pretended he didn't see his brother swipe at his eyes.
JJ put his hat on backwards. "Fuck, man. We've got nine more months of her scaring the shit out of us?!"
John B nodded. "Tell me about it. And then a baby we have to figure out how to raise."
"Too early for that, Chief." He made a move toward the door. "Let me get my head around the extra worry for Sarah before we start bringing baby pogue into the mix."
"That's fair." John B smiled, and pulled him in for another hug before he could escape for the rest of the day. "Thank you, JJ."
JJ clapped him on the back. "We're family, man."
"I know." John B nodded to him, and watched as JJ walked back down the hallway before creeping back into the bedroom to take a nap until his wife awoke.
Request: hey! i have a request and feel free to make of it whatever you please, anyways something that includes the friendship dynamic between sarah and jj, maybe like both jj and john b r worried about sarah for some reason but john b doesn’t want to confront her so jj does? idk honestly you can really do whatever u want i just want more of jjs and sarahs friendship
Word Count: 2,226
Sarah Cameron usually spent her afternoons lounging in her favorite hammock (most commonly with a book in hand) while the boys were at work. Today was no different. Her current read was a trashy romance novel she picked up from the pharmacy when she went to pick up her birth control last. While it was stereotypical, and admittedly a bit cringey, even for her. It was something that could hold her interest during the quiet times of her day, which really equated to keeping her mind from wandering. On the plus side, she also could usually finish one in a day if it was good enough, or the boys were working late.
She came to the quick realization that she probably wouldn't finish this one today when the sound of JJ's bike pulling up the driveway caught her attention. He was home a bit earlier than usual, but nothing too crazy. She guessed he got done early at the shop and after working late the past two days, decided he wanted the rest of the day off. She couldn't fault him for it, and she'd be lying if she said she wasn't happy to see him.
She watched as he kicked the kickstand down, turning it off in the process, and looked around the backyard. His eyes stopping when they landed on her. He gave a salute when the two made eye contact, and she offered a small wave back in acknowledgement.
When he began walking towards her (completely bypassing going into the house first like he usually did) Sarah wondered if he needed to talk to her. She swayed a couple more times to make sure he wasn't going in through the patio, and when it was clear he was coming to her, she stood up, throwing her book back on the hammock in the process. She stretched as she toed her flip flops on just as he entered speaking distance.
"Hey." He greeted.
"Hey." She gave him a smile back, but frowned when he didn't return it. "Did you get done early?"
"Yeah." He wasn't angry or upset by any means, but Sarah had known him long enough to pick up on the tension in his shoulders. And both hands in his pockets meant he was fidgeting with his lighter.
JJ was nervous.
She didn't even have time to address it before he was saying, "I need to talk to you."
Sarah's face dropped. She knew he wasn't intending to be mean, but it wasn't often that they had serious conversations together without John B involved. In fact, she could only think of one other time they had a somewhat serious one on one conversation, and that was within the time when John B had been in jail. They had shared many conversations about their mutual friend during that time. Discussing fears, trading favorite memories, and making a pact that should the worst happen, they would always look out for each other.
It wasn't anything she made too obvious, and others may not always pick up on it, but Sarah had actually become really fond of JJ. Living with him, of course, was partially to blame, but they also had a unique bond in that John B was the most important person in both of their lives. And in return, they both knew that their common interest viewed the other in the same way. Thus creating a new friendship to be bonded.
At first all they had in common was John B, so the boy was exclusively the topic of any of their conversations. But over time, they had found numerous other things that they had in common. For instance, Sarah found out quite early on that JJ snuck sugar into his black coffee to cut the bitterness. Though, if you confront him about it, he'll deny it until his last breath, even if you had a taste of the evidence to prove it.
When JJ saw her blowing her hair dry while getting ready for girls night with Kie, he was intrigued, and may or may not have attempted it on his own after she left for the night. No one could prove he used it, and she had never caught him in the act, but there were quite a few times that her hair dryer came up missing when she went to use it. Coincidentally, it always happened to be in JJ's room when she asked about it.
"Okay. We can talk." Sarah jerked a thumb toward the dock. "Do you want to go to the dock?"
JJ didn't like making eye contact when there was something serious to discuss, so his eyes traveled from the jetty to the hammock that was just behind them, weighing his options.
"You looked comfortable." He offered with a gesture to the hammock. "We can sit here if you'd like."
He made a move to sit on the edge, but she refused to move yet. "Where would you feel most comfortable, JJ?"
He smiled at that. One thing he had learned about Sarah was that she, probably more so than anyone else he had met in his life, went above and beyond to make sure that he was as comfortable in a situation as possible. Even going as far as to make sure he consented before she ever touched him, even for a hug. "I'm fine right here, Princess."
Using his nickname for her calmed her heartbeat down a bit, but she was still a little on edge as she sat next to him. Even now, she made sure her body didn't come into contact with his until he okayed it.
Noticing her distance, JJ verbally told her it was okay. "I'm not a bomb, Sarah, you can come closer."
"I know," she sighed, scooting to bump her leg up next to his, "I just-"
"I know, Sarah." He cut her off, already knowing she was going to launch into the "why" behind her physically constant vigilance around him. He peaked a glance and put a hand on her knee that was closest to him. "Thank you. I'm good, I promise."
She didn't respond, and waited for him to start. He rested his elbows on his knees, and played with the rings he had scattered throughout both hands. Fidgeting again.
"I talked to John B. today." was how he started.
"JJ." her voice must have gone up, letting her anxiety peek through.
JJ knew how the anxiety and panic Sarah developed after his friend's stint in prison and all it took was her to say his name like that for him to sit up straight and put his arm around her. "He's fine, Sar. He's at work right now. He'll be home at his usual time."
Sarah nodded, but her heart rate was still through the roof, so JJ decided to explain faster.
"We went to lunch today because both of us wanted to talk about you, actually."
This did nothing to help her sense of panic, and JJ could tell.
"He's not breaking up with you, he's not leaving you, and he's not in any trouble. So get those thoughts out of that pretty head of yours right now." He tapped above her ear and felt her take a deep breath in his arms at the reassurance. "He knows I'm here right now, and he knows what I'm going to say. So I'm speaking on behalf of us both."
She didn't trust her voice, so she nodded that she understood.
"We're worried about you."
Out of all the things he could have said, she wasn't really expecting that one. She felt her eyebrows furrow as she processed, staring at the patch of grass just in front of where their feet were planted on the ground.
"Worried?" She felt JJ nod next to her.
"Yeah. Worried."
She tried. Honestly, she did try to come up with a reason that they would be worried about her. Enough that they would schedule a lunch meeting about how to approach her, and further, why (if John B was also worried) JJ was the one they decided to send to talk to her and not the man she was in an actual relationship with.
And then it clicked.
"JJ." she pulled his hand away from around her shoulders. "If you say some dumbass thing like 'oh. we're worried about how often you use heat on your hair' or some other line of bullshit I swear to god--this isn't fucking funny."
He raised both hands in the air, like he'd done more than once in his life to show his innocence, even when he was so obviously guilty. The difference was, usually in those cases, the gesture was accompanied with his signature shit eating grin and this time it wasn't.
"I swear on John B, Sarah, I'm being one hundred percent honest, here."
He was being genuine, she realized it without swearing on the most important person in his life coupled with the use of her given name, and it scared the shit out of her even more.
"We don't think you're coping with Ward dying." He deadpanned.
And the proverbial band-aid was ripped off.
She felt her face furrow in confusion again, and it wasn't long before she felt the pressure of tears build up behind her eyes. No, she wouldn't cry. Not over him, not anymore, and especially not to JJ who had his life uprooted by the man she called "Dad" more than once. So she did what she always did whenever anyone brought up Ward Cameron around her: she shut down.
JJ's arm wrapped around her back as he watched her disassociate. He knew that's what was happening, because he himself had done it so many times in the past when he had a confrontation with his own dad. Shut off the emotions, don't talk, don't feel, don't cry, just become numb to it.
She could numb herself all she wanted to, but he knew she could still hear him.
So JJ talked.
"Listen..." he started, pulling them both back to lay back against the short end of the hammock. "I know you hate him." He rubbed her arm, and looked up at the leaves on the tree above them as if he was talking to them. "I know you do. But, I also know that somewhere deep down, you still love him..." He felt her muscles tighten. "...even if you can't admit it out loud, I know you do. And it's okay to feel both. I know you're angry at yourself for still loving him." He chuckled at the irony of the talk he was giving to someone else, when he, too, had struggled with the same feelings and emotions. "But he was your dad, Sarah. And I know that you'll always launch into how horrible of a person he was..."
He began to list all of the reasons she had given for hating her father in the past: "He killed John B's dad, he attempted to kill John B on more than one occasion, he stole the gold, he almost killed us all in the process, he chose the son that attempted to end your life (on more than one occasion, no doubt) over you. He was egotistical, greedy, and let his pride get in the way of everything." He paused again, choosing his words. "I know all the reasons you say you hate him. But it doesn't change the fact that he was the one who raised you. He was your... "first love" and all that shit. He was your protector, your provider, ya know?"
She curled into him, shoving her face into his neck, just as he felt her body begin to tremble. He knew she was crying, so he let her. He pressed a kiss to her hair, like he'd seen John B do before, because he knew it'd comfort her, and he ran his hand over her head.
"I know you don't feel like you can grieve for someone that did so much wrong, and that hurt you so much. You can be angry at how he ended up, and still grieve for the Ward you knew, though." His throat got tight as he thought of his own father, and he cleared his throat. He knew the words he said next were a shot in the dark, but he made it this far into the conversation. So he took the risk anyway.
"And Sarah,I know..." he whispered, having to clear his throat again. "I know that you don't think you can grieve for him because he never laid his hands on you like my dad did to me. Because he was never the one that directly caused you harm, doesn't mean that you can't be just as upset. It's not a competition on who had the shittier dad. I tried that excuse too, but Kie told me "trauma is trauma, no matter what you went through." And I think that goes for us as well." He brought his other arm around to hold her and rested his cheek against her forehead. "Unfortunately for us, Princess, I think we're probably co-owners of the Shitty Dad's Club."
She chuckled at that, and pulled back to wipe her eyes, but more tears just leaked through to replace them.
A/N: This is a continuation of the “We Have Some News (Teaser)” that I posted awhile ago. This also takes place in the “i need you.” universe. I’d definitely recommend reading those first, but it can be read as a standalone. If you’re interested, Part 1 is here, and Part 2 is here. Enjoy! x
"Hey JJ?" John B called through the house. It was always a toss up on where JJ was on the property of the Chateau. His room, the sun room, the dock the hammock, the tree the hammock was tied to, the options were endless, and it was always a new place each time. Thankfully, a shout from the side door could be heard from anywhere in the house, and one yell out the sliding glass door could be heard from anywhere outside. John B wasn't surprised when it was the latter that got him a "JB!" in response.
"Come inside for a minute?"
JJ looked up from where he lounged in the hammock, already moving to slide off. "Sure thing." He was a little hesitant as he made his way to the porch, knowing that John B and Sarah had just been out running errands. He had a sneaking suspicion that something had been going on for awhile, definitely within the last week or so, but possibly even longer than that. Conversations that started in the kitchen and ended behind the privacy of their bedroom door. "Errands" that needed to be run together, without any clarification as to what those errands were. JJ was convinced they were considering moving out. Which really translated to: leaving him.
Up until this point, he had done a pretty good job of not sending himself into a spiral, but when he walked through the back door of the Chateau to see Sarah sitting on the recliner behind where John B stood between best friend and girlfriend his heart dropped. JJ knew how to read body language, and could spot confrontation from a mile away. So he took a deep breath to steady his heart rate, and became the epitome of "flippant" before engaging. "'Sup boss."
John B didn't miss the look he threw at Sarah, no doubt in an attempt to gauge her body language. He looked over his shoulder toward the only girl in the house before continuing. "Sarah and I have some news. And we just wanted to talk with you."
The thing about JJ was that, he had been best friends with John B for more than half of his life. They considered each other brothers in every sense of the word. So as soon as JJ's eyes began darting to all the points of exit from where he was currently standing, in case a hasty escape needed to be made, John B automatically knew where his mind was going.
And even as John B closed the gap between them, he could see the fear in his brother's eyes. It only slightly diminished as he wrapped his arms around the younger of the two (but only by two months), and held on. "It's okay, J." He gave JJ the reassurance he needed, but in a quiet enough way, that he wasn't embarrassed in front of Sarah.
JJ gave a single curt nod of his head as he pulled away, before leading the way over to Sarah, who graciously had looked away to give the two a moment. "Alright Princess," And Sarah couldn't help the full smile that broke her lips as he put on his proverbial mask again. He lounged across the couch across from her, half laying, half sitting. "If you're moving out, I'm calling dibs on your hair dryer."
"JJ-" John B was exasperated once again by just the random-ness of his attempts in comedic relief, but appreciative of his ability to get Sarah to smile. Especially given how nervous she was about how he was going to take the news.
Sarah giggled. "I'm not moving out, JJ."
"So..." he trailed off, parting his hands and clapping them back together. "You'll get me the hair dryer for my birthday, or..."
"Nice try, dick." Sarah ribbed.
"I'm just saying, it's the smartest decision. Otherwise I'm just going to keep stealing yours."
"JJ, we're trying to have a serious conversation here!" John B reminded. He knew JJ. That didn't mean he didn't still get (at least a little) annoyed by his ability to prolong conversations, even if he was calming Sarah.
"My bad." He sat up, elbows resting on his knees, hands rubbing against one another, occasionally fiddling with the rings scattered throughout his fingers. "Just- for clarification, no one's moving out... right?"
Sarah was shaking her head before he even finished his question, and he was eternally grateful for whatever girly-friendship-sixth-sense she had that told her he would need the reassurance. "Nope," she answered verbally as well, "we're staying."
JJ released a breath he didn't realize he had been holding, while leaning against the back of the couch, and folding his hands behind his head. "Perfect. In that case, I'm all ears." He looked expectantly between the two, as John B looked to Sarah, and Sarah looked like someone who found their way center stage but completely forgot every line they had rehearsed. Though he didn't miss the pleading look she shot at John B, accompanied by the hurried whisper of: "I think you should tell him."
The tension and fear he'd had earlier in his own body was what he was currently looking at in Sarah Cameron. Something was wrong. Something more serious than his best friends moving away, and it freaked the hell out of him. He adjusted on the couch slightly, allowing his body language to show more warmth now that he realized just how freaked Sarah was.
John B cleared his throat. "Alright. Well..." he trailed off, no doubt forming the words he wanted to say. "Ah... there's really no easy way to say it..." JJ glanced one more time between the two, and Sarah already had a hand covering her face, refusing to look at either of the boys that she was typically the most comfortable around. "Sarah's pregnant."
JJ knew John B was speaking to him. He knew there were more words being said, but he couldn't exactly hear or figure out the meaning behind them. He was staring at Sarah. Her eyes (the only part of her face that he could actually see) were squeezed shut, and her body trembled as she cried. He didn't realize he was standing until John B mirrored his movements. "What..." He looked between his brother, and the girl he came to regard as one of his best friends. "Holy fuck." He ran his dominant hand through his hair. His breath was coming quicker, and his chest spasmed as his breath came and went too quickly. "Hoooooly fuck. What're we gonna do." He stared John B down, but the look he got in return was confusion.
"What do you mean what're we gonna do?"
"I mean exactly what I mean by that, what're we gonna do?!" He sat down, before instantly springing back up; finding more comfort in pacing. "I mean- fuck we're gonna have to see a doctor. We- we have to go right now!" His eyes bore into John B's. "You stay with her, I'll drive." JJ moved to find the keys, but stopped when John B interrupted his train of thought.
"Hang on JJ." It wasn't the words that stopped him in his tracks, but the tone.
When he turned around, the hardened eyes of his best friend were staring him down. "What do you mean no?!" He looked around the empty Chateau, expecting someone to jump out and say "Just kidding! Man you should've seen your face." JJ unfortunately wasn't surprised when that wasn't the case.
"Do you hear yourself, JB?!" JJ walked a couple steps closer to him. "Have you lost your mind?! She's pregnant." He gestured to a still shaking Sarah, as if to emphasize his point. "Pregnant people have to go to the doctor! I mean, I feel like that just basic common sense!" He started pacing again, verbally sorting his way through the thoughts that were coming faster than he could process. "I mean, oh fuck how do you even know how big it is? And there's gotta be medicine, right?" He glanced to John B to see if he was on the right track. He was met with silence, so he decided to continue. "Okay. I can stop by the pharmacy after I drop you guys off here. I'll pick up the medicine, and they've gotta have books or something like that... maybe we can borrow one from Pope. No, he probably wouldn't have one on pregnancy. But how else are you gonna learn. Oh god. Oh. Oh God!"
JJ was becoming hysterical, and it was doing nothing to calm Sarah.
"Fuck! I just remembered a movie I watched where the one pregnant chick went into labor and fuck how are we gonna do that JB?!"
"JJ!" John B was seething, and pointedly noded to where he now had an arm around Sarah's shoulders. "You need to pull yourself together."
JJ's hair was sticking up in a million different directions, and his hand pulled through it again, finally looking to where Sarah was curled, still sobbing, across the room. He made a beeline for her, but stopped a few feet away.
He knelt down to the floor, both hands in front of his body so she could see he wasn't a threat.
"Sarah. Shit. I'm sorry." He looked to JB. "What do you need. What can I do? Do you need me to go get something? A..." He looked at John B as he trailed off, not even sure what would suffice at this moment. "Another hair dryer?"
Sarah couldn't help but laugh out loud. Only JJ would think that a hair dryer is what she needed at the moment.
"I would just like the record to show-" JJ flipped the switch to his comforting voice, even though everything else in his body was screaming to get the two of them and leave. Where they would go, he hadn't a clue, but he felt an innate need to protect them both. "-that I really think we need to see a doctor."
John B shook his head to himself. "We just came from the doctor."
"Oh," was all JJ could whisper, but his body instantly went rigid. Doctor seemed like a logical first step, and now, finding out they had already been, he was scrambling to think of what the second step should be. "Fuck." JJ nodded to himself, processing the thoughts that were racing. "Okay."
"Can I hug you?" Sarah whispered, still refusing to look at him. "Please."
Sarah Cameron had always (for as long as JJ had known her) asked him for consent. Sometimes it was a physical question like the current one, other times it was a look while she held her arms open to him. Either way, if she wanted to initiate a hug, or any form of physical contact for that matter, she always asked. JJ in turn rarely, if ever, turned her down. Her broken whisper of a question surprised him, but if a hug was what she needed right now, he was definitely going to give her one.
Request: “Every inch of you is the most incredible thing that God ever created.” with jarah!?
Word Count: 318
A/N: just a short lil somethin somethin for this one because vjew;no;febwbveffwjf;ds (Also the gif fits perfect) it’s short but effective and makes me heart kinda stutter a lil bit bc omg i adore them sm. okay im done.
They were laying facing each other in their favorite place in the world: the hammock under the oak tree. The sun was shining, but the tree provided the much needed shade from the strong July sun.
They were content.
John B had one foot on the ground, and was rocking them slowly, his head propped on a hand as he watched Sarah. She was laying with her hands behind her head, looking up at the tree above, and smiling when the suns rays found the space between the trees enough to shine through on her face.
Neither wanted to interrupt the moment, but both felt the weight of it.
Was this... happiness?
Sarah looked across and saw her fiance already staring at her, making her shake her head in embarrassment and look out over the marsh.
John B couldn't help but smile at how unbelievably perfect he found her. How was she his?
"Every inch of you," John B started, drawing her attention back to him as he looked to where his fingers were grazing lightly across the soft, sun kissed skin of her calf. "is the most..." he paused, looking for the right word. "incredible thing that God ever created."
Sarah smiled at the cheesiness.
Cheesy, yes.
Cringey, maybe.
Effective, always.
"I can't tell you how much I love you."
"You could try." he teased.
She thought about it. "I love this life. The life we built together. Despite the obstacles that were in our way. The future is exciting. I can't wait to legally be yours."
He winked as she mentioned their upcoming wedding.
"You made me fall in love with living again when I never thought I would be able to."
She smiled as she breathed in the salty air, and glanced out at the marsh again.
"And that's why I think my love for you runs so much deeper than it ever has before."
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JB/Sarah + "I just didn't think it would be this hard." 💜💜
Sarah pressed her fingers to her eyelids, hoping enough pressure would keep the tears that were building from falling. “I just didn’t think it would be this hard.”
“… i didnt either.” John B confesses. “but… Sarah, you’re doing SUCH a great job.”
Sarah: “I really don’t think I am, John B” she runs her hand through her hair & quickly ties it on top of her head. “I mean—“ the tears started to run down her face. “If she’s crying it means something’s wrong & she’s ALWAYS crying. im supposed to be able to help her but nothing I do works so I can’t and it means I’m being a shit mom!” She buries her face in her hands as her deepest thoughts come spilling out.
John B is instantly pulling her to him. Crushing her against his body as if enough pressure would cause her to feel how good she was doing. How worthy he thought she was. “Sarah, you’re doing an amazing job, love—“
“I just don’t want her to feel like I’m neglecting her!” She sobs into his chest. “I don’t want her to feel like JJ does. I can’t cause her that much pain. I can’t do this John B I can’t!”
“Sarah, stop.” His tone makes her cry harder because she feels like he’s angry with her. “Baby,” he starts, his voice cracking because how can she even compare herself to Luke Maybank. “JJ’s situation was 100% different. You KNOW that. JJ was in so much pain because his dad didn’t care.” He pressed a kiss to her head but didn’t loosen his grip on her. “You’re absolutely wrecked over this and you’re trying. You know what you don’t want to be. You’ve seen what negligent parenting did to JJ, and you’re doing everything in your power to be a kind, nurturing mom.”
He doesn’t get a response.
“Sarah, the only thing that little girl knows is you. The only reason she’s so fussy all the time with you is because she KNOWS it’s you. She KNOWS she’s at her safe place, where she can be the most vulnerable. Because you’re the only place she feels completely comfortable.”
Her cries have quieted a bit, but he still hears her sniffing as she tries to get her breathing under control.
“You’d never walk away from her, right?. Never not come back?”
“I’d never!” Sarah is scandalized by even the idea.
“I know.” He nuzzled his face into the top of her head. “But Luke did.”
Her sharp intake of breath told him that he heard her, and that it had put everything into perspective.
Request: Hey I love ur writing and know u have a bunch of requests but figured I’d ask incase u had any free time or liked this in the future! You did John b dricing and visiting Sarah when SHEs upset in college but what about roles reversed and Sarah comes home to surprise John B!!??? It could be angst like something happened w him at home or just fluff and her kissing him and wanting to visit
Word Count: 1,051
A/N: This is Part 1 of a two part request! You can read Part 2 here!
The ringing of her phone pulled Sarah out of her thoughts. She was studying for a Psychology exam coming up in a few weeks, and had her phone on "Do Not Disturb", so it could only be one of a few key people.
The person she least expected it to be though, was JJ.
Her body jolted as she hastily grabbed the phone, convinced he was calling because something was wrong.
This wasn't the first time he'd called by any means. She'd been gone for the winter semester for 5 weeks yesterday, and he'd called her a total three times so far. The first was because he forgot where she put the laundry detergent after reorganizing the last time she was in town, the second was because he had a nightmare and didn't want to wake John B, and the third was the day after to thank her for staying up half the night with him.
She tried to tell herself it was nothing to be concerned about, but her mind raced from boating accidents involving one of them, to his dad making a surprise appearance. She sent a quick prayer up to whoever was listening about the last one before hitting "Answer".
"Hey JJ!" Act normal, act normal, act normal.
"Hey Princess!" JJ's voice was upbeat; moreso than she anticipated it being at least, and she relaxed back into her desk chair.
She breathed a sign of relief, and glanced upwards. "Hey! What's up?"
"Oh, not much, not much. Just the usual, ya know. Workin'. Surfin'. Fishin'. The fun stuff."
Sarah smiled at how little it took for JJ to be content. As long as the day included one of the last two options, he'd be happy.
"Good! What're you doing right now?"
"Uhh, fishin' currently."
"That sounds like fun."
"Well-" there was a pause. "I was fishin' down here at the dock, but I'm not having any luck so I think I'm gonna be done for the day."
She gave it a couple seconds in case he was distracted by packing his tackle box up, but after he sighed, Sarah guessed he was building up to the reason he had actually called.
"What's up JJ." It was a question, but she phrased it as a statement.
One of the things JJ had always liked about Sarah Cameron was that usually she didn't beat around the bush too much. She could tell he wanted to talk about something, and she didn't want to waste time waiting on small talk.
JJ chuckled to himself. "It's like you know me or somethin'."
It was her turn to laugh. "I'd say I know you more than most people, JJ. Seriously, though, you sound like you've got something on your mind."
"When are you comin' home again?"
She wasn't sure if this was his attempt at a diversion, or if there was a reason he was asking.
"Umm," she hesitated in any case, flipping through her planner that was sitting open next to her laptop, and tried to find a weekend when she could drive in. "I might be able to come in two weeks? Maybe next week but it's going to depend on when my study group meets."
JJ made a sound that came across as a mix of pained and disappointed.
"Why? What's going on, JJ?" The line was silent for a couple seconds. "Do you need me to come home?"
She heard him sigh in defeat before he finally admitted: "I think so."
"Okay." It was a Thursday currently, and since she only had one class on Friday, it wouldn't be the end of the world if she skipped to go home. Especially if one of her best friends (who normally never admitted when they needed anything) was saying they needed her. "What happened, JJ? Are you okay?"
"Me? Yeah. Yeah, no, I'm good. I just--" Sarah could imagine how his hand would be rubbing the back of his head as he struggled to come up with words. "I'm worried about John B."
And there it was.
Sarah's body jolted as she thought of all the potential things that would cause JJ to be worried about his best friend enough to ask her to come home. "What happened, JJ."
"Look, it's nothing serious I guess." As he explained, she already was grabbing a bag from under her bed and packing to leave. "You know how he gets mopey whenever you're not around, right?"
She did know, because the rest of the pogues loved to tease him relentlessly about it. "Yeah?"
"Yeah well this isn't exactly like that."
"Explain."
"Okay, well usually he just gets quiet for the first few days after you leave, and then all it takes is a good surf day to get him back to normal, ya know. And now he just--doesn't really have any interest in doing anything. And I don't know if it's because he misses you, or maybe he's just really upset about something, or something happened, I don't know. He won't talk to me. But if he won't talk to me, my only other hope is that he'll talk to you."
Her mind was running a mile a minute. "Okay. Where is he now?" She moved her bags beside the door, and quickly cleared off her desk.
"When I came down to the dock about half an hour ago, he was still in bed," he continued, "I tried to get him to come down and fish with me, or at least sit out here so I could get him outside, but he just isn't interested. And I don't know what to do, Sarah."
She nodded, though she knew he couldn't see her. "I know, J. I'm leaving right now, and I'll be home in a couple hours."
"Really?!" The relief that flooded JJ's voice sent Sarah's heart into overdrive again. Knowing that he was that concerned didn't comfort her rising anxiety any, but either way, she knew she would feel better once she could see her boyfriend.
"Really. I'm walking out the door right now." She wrote a quick note for her roommates, grabbed her bags, and turned the light off, shutting the door behind her. "I'm coming home."
Request: If I’m lucky and you ddint get number 10 yet I’d love to request either “Please don’t go” or “Come on, let’s take a nice bath together.” for jarah :)) and if I’m too late than no worries and I am excited to read those other 10 prompts 😇
Word Count: 2,079
Sarah knew something was up when John B was quiet. So far this morning, the only word he had said was "sure" when she asked if he wanted a cup of coffee.
She glanced over at him as she poured two cups, his with two spoonfuls of sugar, hers with three. When she moved to put everything away, she noticed that John B was staring at the sliding glass door. It was one of those moments where he was looking, but she could tell he wasn't really seeing. JJ had been in his room when they walked past earlier, so she knew he wasn't looking at anything in particular. What he saw instead were the thoughts in his head.
The bag of sugar moved at a glacial pace toward it's home in the cupboard closest to the doorway as Sarah tried to piece together a plan. She decided to play it casual. His gaze didn't break until she walked into his line of sight, setting his cup on the coffee table in front of him, while she and cradled hers.
He offered a small smile of thanks as he picked him mug up, but didn't say a word.
Sarah sipped at her coffee, watching him as he trained his gaze toward the backyard again. Her eyes followed his this time, and she guessed he was looking out at the marsh. After another couple sips of her coffee, she decided to get his attention by calling his name.
"John B?"
The break in the silence startled him, though he smiled when his eyes focused on her. Not a full smile of course, but enough that her heart stuttered because she knew that her presence helped ease whatever war was going on in his mind.
She took another sip and decided on stating the obvious. "You're awful quiet this morning."
His smile fell, and his eyes shifted down.
"Anything you want to talk about?" She offered, knowing that it's best to give him the option to work through the mess his brain was in.
Sarah wasn't naive enough to think that John B would come away from the past year without any scars. Hell, she hadn't even come away without, But the good thing about their friend group was that they didn't shy away from the mental toll. They didn't cover things up, or try to put on a brave face. If one of them was struggling, 99 pecent of the time, they would find one of the others (or on some occassions call a full group meeting) to work through whatever aspect they were struggling with. Good lord knew there were many.
John B, for the most part, was the "strong" one of the group. As the unoffical leader of the Pogues, he had a protective nature toward everyone individually. That didn't mean he hadn't broken down and cried in JJ's arms once or twice, or fell asleep on Kie's lap in the hammock after a particularly bad anxiety attack. But he never really reached out until he was in the midst of it.
He still hadn't said anything to her, but it looked like he was thinking of a response as he took another sip of his coffee.
Finally, he decided.
"I think I'm just struggling this morning." His fingers traced the edge of the mug he was staring at, as Sarah contemplated what course of action would have the least chance of shutting him down.
"Well," she started, "did something happen?"
He glanced out the glass door again, this time looking.
"I guess it started with a nightmare."
"Okay." Giving him an open space to talk however much or little he liked, was something Sarah liked to offer anyone she talked with.
He paused for another minute, taking a shaky breath before looking over at her again. She could see the tears gathering on his waterline, a couple blinks away from skiing down the hills of his face in an avalanche of emotion desperate to get out. She moved closer to him, as his eyes slid shut.
The expression of pure pain on his face was one that tugged a little extra at Sarah's heartstrings. She wrapped an arm around his shoulders and brought his head to her shoulder.
"I can't stop seeing it." He admitted, "every time I close my eyes."
"What do you see?"
"Kie barely being able to hold JJ's head above water."
She rubbed his shoulder and cuddled into him a little more. They all had dreams about this particular event, in one way or another. And it logically made sense that John B would be so effected because of how important JJ was to him. Logic didn't make it any easier to deal with though.
"And if it's not JJ," he continued, "it's you."
She went to pull back from him, but he cut her off.
"It's you on that damn table and all I can hear is that flat line!" His body was wracking, and she moved to put their mugs on the coffee table so she could better hold him.
"And it doesn't come back." He grasps at her arms, continuing to spiral. "It doesn't come back! And then JJ's there. And I'm just left staring at the two most important people in my life! And you guys are gone! And it's just me, and I'm all by myself, and I can't lose you guys--I can't!"
"I know, I know." Sarah attempts to comfort, though her words are getting caught in her throat. She decides to call in reinforcements. "JJ!"
They both can hear his footsteps as he saunters down the hallway.
"'Sup Princess." He says just before he rounds the corner, but when he sees the pair on the couch, he runs to the other side, muttering an "oh shit!" on the way.
"Hey," He's immediately on John B's other side, placing his arm on the other side of his best friend and running his hand through his hair. "What's goin' on, lovebirds?"
Having JJ's presence there sends a fresh wave of grief down John B's cheeks, and he turn himself so he's able to fully embrace his brother.
JJ smoothly adjusts, wrapping John B in his arms and squeezing gently to ground him. A quick glance across at where Sarah has her hand over her mouth in an attempt to quiet her cries, has him whispering to his best friend. "Hey, JB. It's alright man, I'm right here." If he had to guess, JJ would say that seeing him dead in the water would be what had caused this breakdown, since up until this point he was convinced that no matter how many times he tried to deny it: John B hadn't really dealt with it.
"Calm down, JB. I'm right here. You can feel me breathing." JJ wasn't a stranger to breakdowns, or full blown panic attacks. He had experienced everything on the "mental breakdown" scale, and most of them with John B right next to him, reminding him of the things he couldn't focus on in the moment.
After a period of time with JJ breathing steadily and whispering calming words, John B's cries began to quiet. His body was still tensed in fight or flight mode, but his tears were on their way to stopping.
Sarah had moved behind John B, showing she was still there by resting her head in the middle of his upper back, and rubbing at his lower.
"I can just see it." John B's voice caught after no one had spoken for a couple minutes. "I see you both, dead, every time I close my eyes. And I'm convinced it's going to happen." He pulled back from JJ to wipe at his face. "For real this time."
Sarah rubbed his back as JJ pulled his head to his. "We're both here. It's gonna take a lot more than a bullet, or a machete to take us down, right Princess?" JJ looked past JB at Sarah and managed to catch her scoff a smile. "See?"
John B managed a smile, and turned around to pull Sarah into him. He kissed her hair, and grabbed JJ's hand. "Can we just, stay here for a minute. Just so I can hold onto you guys for a bit longer?"
Sarah looked up at him and mumbled an "of course". JJ squeezed his hand and said, "Let me at least turn the TV on" as he moved to grab the remote.
After finding an infomercial to waste their brain cells on, John B laid on the couch with his head in JJ's lap, and Sarah curled into his side. They made it through two before JJ got their attention by clearing his throat.
"John B, I told Kie I would pick her up from work and take her to lunch today. Should I call and tell her just to come here?"
John B lifted his head to let JJ up to grab his phone. "Nah man, you go. I'm good now."
JJ stood over the two, John B looking up at him, Sarah watching their interaction. "You're sure?"
"Yeah. I'm just gonna lay low today. Tell Kie we said hi."
"You're 100% sure. You know you just have to say the word--"
"I know, say the word and you're here. I know. I promise, J, I'm good now."
"Alright." He did their handshake they made up in the fourth grade, and gave Sarah the "I'm-watching-you" fingers. "Princess. You keep an eye on him, okay?"
She rolled her eyes. "What am I gonna do, JJ? Go let him play in traffic?"
"Hey!" He pointed at her. "You never know."
When JJ went to grab his stuff from his room, Sarah propped her head up on her boyfriend's chest. "You're sure you're okay if he goes?"
He kissed her forehead. "I'm sure." He gently pressed her head so she would lay back against him. "As long as I have one of you today, I think I'll be good."
"Since JJ's gonna be gone for a few hours, we could take a nice relaxing bath together?" she offered, sweeting the deal by telling him all about the new bubble bath she got.
"I could be down for a bath."
"I think it would be good to relax your body a little. I think you're still in that tense fight-or-flight mode."
He agreed. "Maybe a little."
She smiled up at him. "It's okay. I'll even give you a massage if it'll help."
"Oh I definitely think that'll help." He leaned down to kiss her, and only pulled away when he heard JJ's footsteps coming down the hallway.
"Ya know what I was just thinking about?" JJ offers as he walks into the dining room to grab his keys off the table.
"Do I want to know?" Sarah asked low enough so only John B could hear.
"What's that?" John B bit the line.
JJ stopped at the doorway to the living room and leaned against the doorjam, looking contemplative. "We could totally play in the rush hour traffic by the ferry!"
Sarah groaned and burried her head in John B's chest.
"JJ-" John B started.
"No, I'm serious. Think about it..."
John B didn't try and hide his facepalm.
"...There's all that standstill traffic while they wait for the ferry to come in, right? We could get a massive game of freeze tag going, maybe even bring a football into the mix? I totally think we could make a pass over three car lengths easy."
"JJ, don't you have to go get Kie?" Sarah reminded, trying to get him to focus on something else besides being a nusiance to the general public.
"I do. But I'm sure she's not gonna be down for this." He slung his backpack over his shoulder and tossed his keys in the air, catching them easily. "JB. You wanna try it tomorrow afternoon?"
"No." Sarah immediately answered.
"Ya know what," Sarah glared at her boyfriend. "I think we can make four,"
"YES!" JJ jumped.
"What! John B, no!"
"Alright, we'll talk logistics when I get home." JJ was already halfway to the door. "Love you JB. Bye Princess!"
"JJ!" Sarah was up and running after him before he even hit the doorway.
John B smiled to himself, settling back in to finish the special on how p90x would give him a lean, ripped body in 90 days.
