doing my civic duty to remind you : BellTom!!!
I know you're here @bloodfin , come get your slop <3 (I am soooo behind on posting here).
[Uncensored ver on AO3]
seen from Malaysia
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seen from Morocco

seen from United States

seen from Germany
seen from Greece
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seen from United States
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seen from United States

seen from Greece
seen from Germany
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seen from United States

seen from Sweden

seen from Malaysia
seen from TĂŒrkiye
doing my civic duty to remind you : BellTom!!!
I know you're here @bloodfin , come get your slop <3 (I am soooo behind on posting here).
[Uncensored ver on AO3]

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Resonance
Phantom/Cowbell, ~2.15k (they/them phantom, he/him cowbell, no explicit anatomy descriptions)
Summary: Phantom is wearing a groove in an alcove floor and cannot make their brain stop. The only solution is more Cowbell.
Warnings: quintessence shenanigans/creative use of quintessence, anxiety, comfort, unconventional comfort methods, clothed sex, phantom has a lot on their mind (but not for long), cowbell is slightly terrifying about it (affectionate), yes the cock is made of quintessence, they're both freaks about it, brain go brrrrrrrrr
AO3
a/n: my dearest Em, @cheerycherrycandy-resurrected, I know you have been going through it the past few days. seeing as this terrible thing known as an entire ocean is keeping me from crushing you with a hug, i hope this brings you some brain quiet time. sending this through the internet with as much love as my cold dead heart can muster <3
· · · â âžž · ⧠· âžž â · · ·
The problem with quintessence, Phantom has always maintained, is that it thinks.
Not like a ghoul thinks, with language and memory and the grinding machinery of intention. But it moves like thought. It finds edges. Tests them.
Phantom has spent years learning to direct that impulse outward, all that reaching wanting knowing aimed at something useful, something external, but tonight the target is only themself and they can't make it stop.
Pace. Turn. Pace.
The alcove is barely wide enough to be useful and Phantom has been wearing a groove in it for â they don't know how long. Long enough that their tail has stopped lashing and started doing the low miserable drag that means their body has given up on expressing distress theatrically and moved into something more fundamental.
Long enough that the cold has stopped registering.
Long enough that the thoughts have stopped being discrete and started being a single continuous pressure behind their eyes, cycling, finding no exit, and cycling again.
The ritual. Third movement â did they review the third movement properly, they should check, they meant to check before supper and then supper happened and then the conversation with Imperator happened and now it'sâ
Turn.
âlate, and the notation was ambiguous in two places, and if they get it wrong tomorrow it won't be catastrophic but it will be embarrassing and Phantom does not do embarrassing, Phantom does terrifying, Phantom doesâ
Pace.
âSwiss looked at them funny last week. Not worried. Almost worried. The gap between those two things is enormous and humiliating and Phantom can't stop turning it over, can't stop looking for the thing they must have done or said or failed to do or say that put that almost there instead of his normal smileâ
Turn.
Their quintessence crackles at the edges.
They can feel it, which means anyone with half a sense could feel it, which means they should go somewhere more private except this alcove is the most private place they found and they're already in it and moving feels impossible, stopping feels impossible, everything feels like it's running slightly too fast to catchâ
They don't hear him arrive.
They never do.
What they notice first is that suddenly the alcove feels more occupied than it did before. Phantom's quintessence registers the presence a half-second before their brain does. Old instinct. It spikes them alert before they can decide whether to be, and they spinâ
Cowbell is standing in the entrance of the alcove.
Not filling it, exactly. He's not built for that, too long and too angular, more like a piece of the shadow detached and arranged itself into his shape. He isn't particularly close, really barely inside. He has his hands in his pockets and his head tilted at an angle that means he's been there long enough to have opinions about what he's seen.
Phantom's heart does something embarrassing.
"Don't," they say.
"I haven't done anything."
"You're looking at me."
"I am," Cowbell agrees, without apology.
Phantom turns away and faces the far wall. Their tail betrays them immediately, curling up at the tip, a tell that means anxious and trying to hide it, which is worse than just being anxious, and they know Cowbell can see it, which isâ
"I'm fine," they say.
"You've been in here for forty minutes."
Phantom's jaw tightens. "I like this alcove."
"You're crackling."
"I always crackle."
"Phantom." His voice is low. Still not a command. Something more patient than that, which is somehow worse. "Your quintessence is loud enough I could feel it from the corridor."
They spin back around before they mean to. "Then maybe you should have stayed in the corridor."
He looks at them.
Just â looks. That Cowbell quality of attention that doesn't flinch and doesn't soften. That takes in the tail and the crackling edges and the forty minutes of groove-wearing and the way Phantom's hands have curled into fists without them noticing. He reads all of it, quiet and complete.
Phantom wants to crawl out of their own skin.
He steps forward.
One step, unhurried, and Phantom's back finds the stone wall before they decide to put it there. Cowbell doesn't stop until there's barely a breath between them, until Phantom has nowhere to look but up at him, nowhere to go that isn't him, and the alcove that was a refuge becomes something different.
"I don't needâ" they start.
"I know what you need," Cowbell says, "and it isn't more room to pace."
Phantom opens their mouth. Closes it as his hand comes up slowly. The movement is telegraphed, careful in the way he's learned they require. His palm settles cool against the side of their face.
Oh, Phantom thinks, and loses the thread of everything else immediately.
Because Cowbell is listening. Not with his ears, but with whatever dark adjacent sense he has that doesn't have a clean name, that reaches and sorts and finds. Phantom can feel it moving through their quintessence like fingers through water, not grabbing, just â searching.
Don't, some part of them thinks, the anxious grinding part, the part that is still reviewing the third movement of tomorrow's rehearsal. Don't find it, don'tâ
Cowbell finds it, of course.
The frequency is embarrassingly specific. Not their quintessence broadly, not their emotional field in general, but the exact cycling pitch of the spiral, the precise wavelength of this particular anxious loop, and when Cowbell's thumb presses gently against their temple and he pullsâ
Phantom's knees go.
Not all the way. Cowbell's other hand catches their hip, steadies them, and Phantom makes a sound they will be reviewing with great shame later because it's neither dignified nor vague â it's just helpless, punched out of them by the sensation of their own frequency being held by someone else. Like having a splinter drawn out of somewhere they didn't know had been aching.
"There," Cowbell murmurs. "Let's make it better."
He pulls again, not harder, just deeper â and Phantom's head tips back against the stone and the spiral stutters. Mid-loop. The ritual checklist hits a thought and loses it. Picks it up and loses it again. Phantom tries to follow it and finds they can't quiteâ
"Stay with me," Cowbell says.
"I'mâ" Phantom tries to think of how that sentence ends. "Cowbellâ"
"I know." His hand slides back into their hair. "Let go of it."
"I can't, I have toâ" The ritual. The third movement. Swiss's face. "I have toâ"
"You don't," he says, so simply that it almost works. "Not right now. Right now you're mine."
He shifts. His body presses closer, stone behind and him in front, and Phantom's hands come up and grab his shirt in fistfuls because they don't know what else to do with the feeling building at the base of their spine, that gathering resonance, too much frequency, their whole nervous system attenuating to a signal that isn't theirsâ
And then Cowbell breathes out slow, and floods them.
The sound that leaves Phantom is frankly obscene.
It hits everywhere simultaneously.
Not warmth, because it's warmer than that. Not electricity, this is even more intimate.
It's Cowbell's quintessence pouring into the spaces between Phantom's own and filling them. Their mouth drops open, fingers twist in his shirt. The thought about the ritual comes back and crashes immediately against a wall of pure overwhelming sensation and dissolves. This time, it doesn't come back.
There's no room.
Oh, some small remaining piece of them thinks, dimly. Oh, that'sâ
Cowbell shifts his weight, just slightly, a small adjustment that brings him closer and brings the full length of him against them, and Phantom's breath catches on nothing. Their quintessence, apparently not as settled as advertised, pulses once in response. Interested. Attentive, despite everything, in that animal way that bypasses all the machinery that's currently offline.
Cowbell feels it.
"Still with me?" His head dips, mouth finding the hinge of their jaw.
Phantom tries to form a sentence and gets as far as an exhale.
His teeth close against their jaw, gentle, dragging slow. Underneath it, threaded through it, Phantom feels his quintessence begin to pull back. Not withdrawing so much as⊠gathering. Concentrating with an intentionality that is distinct and purposeful and nothing like the flooding from before.
Phantom's brow furrows.
Something is different, something is changing, something isâ
"Cowbell," they say, confused more than anything, trying to locate the feeling, trying to put a shape to itâ
He presses in, slow and purposeful, and Phantom's mouth drops open.
Oh.
Oh.
It's â he's â the quintessence inside them gathers and moves and fills in a way that is suddenly, unmistakably, catastrophic. Phantom's brain attempts to process this information and simply fails. Skids sideways off it like a thought too large for the available surface area. They feel their face do something complicated and entirely outside their control.
"That'sâ" they start.
"Mm," Cowbell says, against their jaw, wholly unbothered. Pleased with himself, the unbearable creature.
"You'reâ" Phantom tries again. "Are you â Cowbell, are youâ"
"Yes," he says simply.
Phantom makes a sound that they will take to their grave.
He doesn't stop. Why would he stop â he's Cowbell, he has found a thing that works and he is going to work it with the same systematic patience he brings to everything.
He finds that sweet little spot, the one that always makes their eyes go wide and their thighs tremble. Each slow deliberate press of quintessence there â there, exactly there â knocks the breath out of Phantom before it knocks out the thoughts.
The ritualâ
Press. Phantom's hips stutter forward.
Gone.
Swissâ
Press. A sound leaves them they didn't decide to make.
Gone.
Every time a thought surfaces he's there, filling the space it tried to occupy with something so immediate that Phantom's body simply â prioritizes.
Thought attempts to form? Their body registers this instead. The thoughts dissolve, crowded out, outranked by pure sensation before they can finish becoming language.
Phantom's hips have started moving without their input and their tail is wrapped around his ankle and their face is buried in his neck and none of this is something they decided â their body decided, some deep animal part of them that does not care about rituals or notations or the expression on Swiss's face, that cares only about more, closer, deeper, pleaseâ
"Please," they hear themselves say.
"I know," Cowbell says. His hand presses flat against the small of their back, holding them in place, holding them still while he does exactly what he wants to do at exactly the pace he has decided they need. "I'll take care of you."
Phantom's whole body shudders.
They don't have enough cognition left to be embarrassed. They don't have enough cognition left for much of anything, really.
Just sensation.
Just the slow building press of him moving through them in a way that shouldn't be possible and is somehow more intimate for it.
Just the cold stone at their back and Cowbell's warmth everywhere else and the mingled hum of their quintessence and his blurring at every edge until Phantom can't locate where they end.
Maybe they don't.
Maybe that's fine.
"Cowbellâ"
"Shh." Still fond. His mouth moves to their temple. "You don't need to think right now."
He's right. He is so unbearably, insufferably right, and Phantom tips their head back against the stone and lets go, all the way this time, fully and without reservation. They surrender the last grip on the last thought and just â receive. All of it. All of him.
The sound that leaves them is quieter than the ones before. Not desperate or overwhelmed. It's the ache of pure release. Something set down that has been held too long, finally allowed to rest, and underneath it a warmth spreading slow and complete through every part of them until there is nowhere left that isn't full, isn't his, isn't absolutely and completely silent.
Cowbell exhales against their hair slow and satisfied. Like something in him has settled too.
Phantom doesn't think.
Phantom breathes, and shakes, and holds onto his shirt, and the quintessence between them pulses soft and tidal and utterly indistinguishable from one body to the other, and the silence in their head is so complete it has texture â warm and dark and held, the silence of a bell with a hand pressed flat against it, resonance stilled at its source.
"Good," Cowbell murmurs. His hand strokes slow up their spine. "Stay there."
Phantom does.
Doesn't reach for the spiral. Doesn't reach for anything. Just exists in the narrow warm space between Cowbell's heartbeat and the cold stone wall, wrecked and quiet and wonderfully, completely full, and finds they have absolutely no objections to any of it.
The rehearsal can wait.
Everything can wait.
This is the only thing that's happening right now.
And Phantom, for once in their life, has nothing to say about that.
laying here and thinking about how being high might be the closest comparison to how quintessence must feel which leads me to thinking about how phantom gets all floaty and giggly when cowbell loads his pretty little brain up with quintessence and spends hours just touching and teasing phantom with just his claws and words until phantom is whining and begging cowbell to please do more please please please and cowbell canât resist the sweet little quint when he begs so prettily like this so he fucks him until heâs sobbing and writing on the bed and thanking cowbell meanwhile cowbell hasnât moved a muscle other than to get comfortable on the bed while he uses his shadowy quintessence to give his bat what he was asking so nicely for
phantom and cowbell whose height difference should put phantomâs eye level at bellâs chest but thanks to their horrific postuture all phantom has to do is raise up onto his toes and then boom perfect kissing height
Cute(?) thoughts for you my friend! Hopefully this does them justice. đ
---
Cowbell letting himself get excited for the band to finally return from tour. Making sure everything is just right in their little nook, barely able to contain himself as the days dwindle. A stack of letters and postcards from places far and wide, already a little worn around the edges from being re-read and re-folded, tucked into a jacket pocket. The little plush bat that still smelled like Phantom if he inhaled deeply enough with it pressed to his face, propped up in the window, as vigilant as Cowbell himself.
Extra blankets and cushions and books to enjoy together all stacked and ready, some passages he'd read while the little quint ghoul who'd taken up residence in his heart was away that he'd bookmarked, too dear to share anywhere but face to face. All close at hand in preparation for the day he's been counting down to for six weeks that might as well be six months. Getting lovingly teased by Cumulus, who he'd befriended as she adjusts to retired life, before she's also gone fully into nesting mode in preparation, down in the ghouls' den.
Cowbell, struck by doubt at the last minute, self conscious of making a fuss after all and deciding to stick to his normal routine, almost convincing himself that it's just another afternoon in the library... When he hears - and feels - Phantom barrel through the library doors, dumping his duffel at Zephyr's desk and clambering up the spiral staircase with zero regard to the noise, fully throwing himself into Bell's waiting arms.
Yes, of course they're both crying.
OH MY GOD! Oh my goddd!?!? I love this so much. Maybe im also crying. I wanted to write something about the tour and then reunion so bad and this is what I was thinking. Thank you for remembering the spiral stair case to the landing they hang out on.

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7: reservations
Rain/Dewdrop, Rain/Phantom, Phantom/Cowbell
Explicit, 18+ only
AO3
series masterlist
Summary: In which everyone is fully composed, thank you. Dew is fine. Bell is unbothered. Rain still isn't thinking about anything. It's good for business.
Warnings: mutual pining and idiocy, emotional constipation, cold showers (literal), masturbation, fantasizing, unresolved sexual tension, oh no, and he might've gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling ghouls, workplace shenanigans
Song: Little Death (slowed/reverb) by The Neighborhood
a/n: rip tumblr at least we have ao3. i love that this website crashes whenever i decide to run my mouth... maybe i should take that as a sign... nah. have fun watching dew lose every last shred of dignity!
· · · â đ„ž Â· đč · đ„ž â · · ·
It's barely six.
The apartment is dark in the way Dew likes it â the long living-room windows untreated, the city outside doing its easy blue pre-dawn thing stories below, the kettle on the induction burner already starting its quiet climb. He has nowhere to be for three hours. He's given himself nowhere to be for three hours. He'd built the morning around a slow start to the week, the assumption underneath being that the ghoul using the morning would be a reasonable party.
The ghoul, however, is not.
The jacket is on the hook by the door.
He hasn't gone within four feet of it since hanging it there. He has, in fact, been so deliberate about not going near it that he's caught himself rerouting through his own apartment, taking the long way to the kitchen, the long way back.
He clicks the burner off, pours the water and stands at the counter with both hands flat on the marble, a small thread of steam coming off his cup and a small thread of something else coming off the back of his neck. He made tea instead of espresso, which should have been a warning.
He doesn't look at the hook.
He knows what's in the breast pocket of the jacket. He folded it himself.
Quarters.
He picks up the tea and drinks it without sitting down.
He is, and this is the professional diagnosis, catastrophically off his game.
The morning hasn't yet seen another ghoul. The morning hasn't yet seen sunlight. The morning has, technically, barely even contained morning.
He's already losing to it.
He sets the cup down and goes to take a shower.
The bathroom is all black stone, low warm sconces, a glass-walled shower the size of a small treatment room. He'd built it for steam and quiet. It has reliably delivered.
He runs the water hot.
He's a fire ghoul whose nervous system is nine clicks above operating range, and the direct route to a regulated baseline is more heat. Drive the temperature up until the body resets. It's how this works. It has always worked.
He steps in.
The water hits him and steam blooms thick around the glass and his shoulders come down a quarter inch.
For the first six seconds, it works the way it always does. His discipline finds its footing, his body remembers it has a job. He tips his head back and lets the water run hot down his throat and his sternum and his stomach and he tells himself, very calmly, that this is completely, totally, utterly â
His brain offers Rain.
No announcement. No slow phase-in. His brain just â produces him. Rain, on the table at Helion. Face down, the long line of his back exposed from waist to nape, the lamp warm on the cool grey-blue of his skin, Delta pressing into the knot high in his shoulder⊠the sound Rain made when it gave.
Dew's hand goes flat against the tile.
That sound is not something he should have memorized, and yet he has. He could reproduce it. The low chest-deep crack of mnh-fuck breaking apart in the middle of the word, the breathless little laugh after, embarrassed and unbothered all at once. The little 'sorry,' like Rain had been apologizing for showing Dew exactly what he sounded like when something locked finally gave in.
The water is very hot.
His body is still, somehow, hotter.
The scorched-sugar edge of him licks up off his shoulders into the steam, and the discipline he was counting on is not coming back online. It is, in fact, getting worse because the heat is reading as permission. The heat is his body going yes, this, go on, making it easier to think about Rain naked on a table and not harder.
Great.
He shuts the hot off and turns the cold all the way on.
The water goes cold in stages â warm, lukewarm, cool, cold. Dew braces his forearm against the tile and takes the first wave of it across his shoulders and gasps, because his body hasn't had water this cold on it in living memory, because fire ghouls don't voluntarily do this. The shock is enormous. The shock is also, for one merciful second, completely effective.
His brain goes white. His brain goes blank. He stands under cold water in his own shower and feels his heart rate drop and his thoughts go finally quiet and thinks there. There. Good.
Then his brain, helpfully, points out the temperature.
It points out, in a tone so neutral it borders on amused, that the water currently running across Dew's shoulders is roughly the temperature ofâ
Dew's eyes fly open.
Water ghouls run cool. A water ghoul's hand on a fire ghoul's skin feels like this. A water ghoul's mouth. A water ghoul lying on a fire ghoul, the long cool line of him pressed down the long hot line of himself, every inch of contact conducting clean â
Dew makes a sound against the tile.
It's a small involuntary punched-out fuck. He hears it leave his mouth and immediately presses his forehead to the cold stone and stays there.
The cold water keeps running.
He stays under it because the alternative is turning it off and seeing the jacket on the hook, and he knows himself. He knows exactly what he'll do the second he stops bracing against tile, and it will involve his own hand and a name he has been extremely careful not to think while doing this, and he is not â he is not â going to be the kind of ghoul who fucks his own hand in the shower thinking about an employee.
He's going to be the kind of ghoul who stands under cold water for another forty-five seconds and waits this out.
He waits it out badly.
He counts backwards from sixty in a language he hasn't spoken in a long time, forehead on the stone, cold running down his back, his other hand braced flat against the tile because if he lets it go anywhere else he will lose. He refuses to lose before nine in the morning, not over a phantom temperature he ran on himself.
He gets to seventeen before his brain delivers, unbidden and crystalline:
nice hands
He gets to four and turns the water off.
He stands in the shower dripping and breathing for a count he doesn't take. His body is calmer, technically, by every measurable physiological metric. Heart rate down. Core temperature down. The scorched-sugar edge mostly dissipated, scrubbed thin by cold.
What is not down, what has not dissipated and is in fact still extremely and inconveniently present â is the rest of him.
Dew looks down at himself.
"Oh, fuck off," he tells it.
It does not fuck off.
He gets out of the shower and towels off in a series of short irritated motions.
Fine. Fine.
This is a⊠logistics problem. Logistics problems have solutions. He'll apply the solution, he'll get dressed, he'll go to work, he'll conduct the rest of his morning like a functional ghoul, and he will do it all without thinking about anyone specific by name, face, sound, scent, or any other identifying feature. He is capable of this. He runs a business.
Several.
He hangs the towel and braces one hand on the edge of the counter and looks himself dead in the eye in the mirror â wet hair, jaw set, water still beading on his shoulders â and lays it out.
This isn't about anyone.
This is⊠hygiene.
His reflection looks unconvinced.
He closes his eyes. That helps.
The mirror was a tactical error. Eyes closed, he is just a ghoul in a bathroom doing a private maintenance task on a Tuesday morning, and there's no requirement he think about anything at all. He's going to think about literally anything else. The Helion procurement numbers, the disco-night cocktail menu Cumulus is drafting, the radiator click in his office, the lighting program in the salt corridor, or â
His hand moves.
He keeps his eyes closed.
He thinks about the radiator click. He thinks hard about the radiator click. The small reliable mechanical sound it makes when the building is empty, the way it punctuated yesterday, the â
The round bed.
The round bed comes up out of nowhere and lands in the center of his skull fully formed and he's suddenly, entirely against his will, against the explicit terms he laid out thirty seconds ago.
He's picturing Rain across the dark velvet, laid out, hands behind his head, the gold barbell at his stomach catching the overhead, one knee up, the other leg fallen open, looking up at the ceiling mirror with the unhurried appreciation of a ghoul who knows exactly what he looks like from above.
"No," Dew says, out loud, to nobody.
His hand has, regrettably, not received the memo.
He tries to course-correct. He tries to swap the round bed for literally any other surface in his apartment. He gets, briefly, the kitchen counter â so much worse â then his own bed â catastrophically worse â and his brain, apparently delighted to have his attention, discards both and goes back to the round bed because the round bed is where it wants to be, the round bed has the ceiling mirror, the round bed has â
The sound.
Of course it has the sound. His brain is not being subtle this morning. His brain has decided the round bed and the massage sound belong together, has spliced them together in his head, and now he is picturing Rain on the round bed making the low cracked-open unh â
Dew braces.
He keeps his eyes closed because opening them now would mean looking at his own face doing this, and he's not doing that on top of everything else.
His breathing has gone short. The scorched-sugar edge is back full strength, rising off his shoulders into the cool bathroom air. The cold shower has been fully defeated. The cold shower was a waste of plumbing.
The sound. He keeps coming back to the sound.
He tells himself, with the last operational lobe of his brain, that the sound is generic, what any ghoul makes when a knot gives, that it wasn't for him, it was for Delta, who actually had hands on him â
His brain offers Delta's hands and promptly swaps them with his own.
He gets very, very close.
His brain, gleeful, vicious, off the leash now, produces his name. Produces his name and slots it neatly in Rain's pretty mouth. His brain is giving him Rain on the round bed in the lounge looking up at the ceiling mirror and making that sound and saying Dew â
He comes with his forehead pressed to the cool stone of the counter and a sound in the back of his throat that he refuses, immediately and forever, to acknowledge.
The bathroom is very quiet after.
His breathing is loud in it.
He stands there stupid, is the thing. He stands there just â stupid. Eyes still closed, hand on the counter, whole body ringing with what just happened and no way he can pretend it didn't. He just came to a mental image of an employee saying his first name. In his own bathroom. Before seven in the morning on a Tuesday.
He opens his eyes and looks at himself in the mirror.
His reflection looks exactly as unconvinced as it did before he started.
"That," Dew tells it, "did not count."
His reflection says nothing.
It doesn't have to.
He gets dressed fast, because slow is worse. Underwear. Socks. The slacks, black, knife-creased, off the hanger and on in one motion. The shirt, black, second-from-the-left, the one whose buttons he can do without thinking. He tucks. He buckles. He cuffs the sleeves to the second fold, the way he always does, and by the time he's most of the way into a jacket-less approximation of himself he almost feels like he lives here again.
The collar pins are on the dresser.
He picks them up. Small gold lightning bolts. He weighs them in his palm for a beat and threads them through the points of his collar and turns toward the door.
The jacket is on the hook.
He has half a dozen jackets in the closet. He could take any of them. He could leave this one on the hook with the card in it and go to work in something else and not have a piece of cardstock against his ribs for the next twelve hours. That would be the sane play. That would be the play of a ghoul who has just had a productive conversation with himself in a mirror and made better decisions about the shape of his day.
Dew stands in his own kitchen looking at the jacket on the hook and understands, with a clarity that genuinely irritates him, that he is going to take this jacket.
Fine.
Fine.
He crosses to the hook, shrugs it on. He does up the buttons, steps into his shoes, picks up his keys. He does not put a hand to the breast pocket. He knows the card is still in it. He can feel it against his ribs, the small flat shape of it, exactly where he left it.
The card is showing only to him.
He pulls the door shut behind him with a low growl, locks it, and goes to work.
· · · â đ„ž Â· đč · đ„ž â · · ·
Dew comes in through the back.
Tempt is quiet. The shades on the avenue side are still down from the close, filtering the daylight down to amber. The bar is wiped. The chairs are still up on the tables in the front section. The back of house is doing the small things â the hum of the walk-in, the dishwasher running one belated cycle from the weekend, no music yet.
He has a perfectly serviceable office at Helion, quieter, less prone to interruption. He has his private office, larger and more familiar. He'd considered both options this morning while pulling his shoes on and something in him had said Tempt, firmly, without argument, and he'd stopped asking himself questions and taken the shorter walk.
The card against his ribs the entire way.
He is not going to examine why.
He climbs the stairs quietly and hangs his coat on the hook in his office. Sits at his desk, opens the folio that knows him better than any living thing.
He lets time⊠crawl.
Schedules for Tempt, schedules for Helion. New hires, a retirement package. Confirming physicals, staring out the window, doing everything in his power to forget the events of the morning.
It goes well, until a track kicks on downstairs at working volume. Slow disco bassline. He checks his watch. It's barely noon.
He gets through approximately eleven minutes of a supplier revision on the Helion linen order before his own brain betrays him.
Dew looks at his folio.
His folio looks back.
He'd been perfectly ready to spend the day up here. He is perfectly ready. He doesn't need to go downstairs. He's a functioning businessghoul with a linen supplier revision in front of him and a bottle of water at his elbow and absolutely no reason to leave his office.
He closes his eyes and then his folio and he goes downstairs.
He finds himself almost relieved to see that it's Aurora on the stage.
He'd be completely relieved, really, if there wasn't a nagging disappointment crawling up his throat.
Aurora's got the work lights up and a track running low. She's at the pole, mid-pass, the line of her body long and considered and visibly thinking.
The room is empty in front of her except for one occupied chair stage-right.
Phantom.
They have propped both feet up on the chair in front of them, phone face-down on their thigh, full attention on Aurora with the intent expression of a fight trainer in the corner of a ring.
"Toe," Phantom calls.
Aurora adjusts.
"Better. Hold it. Hold it."
Aurora holds.
"Yes, baby, that's exactly it!"
At the bar, Cirrus is leaning on her elbows, Cumulus tucked against her side with one arm slung loose around her waist. Neither of them is coaching from over there. Both of them are watching, but at a deliberate distance â the kind of distance you give a junior dancer being worked with by someone you mostly trust to do it right.
"Phantom," Cirrus says, mild, without looking away from the stage. "You're not allowed to make her routine weird."
Phantom puts a hand to their own chest.
"Excuse me."
"You heard me."
"I'm being responsible."
"You're being Phantom," Cirrus says, and Cumulus snorts into her water.
"I'll have you know I have not made one single inappropriate suggestion in nine minutes."
"That's the longest you've gone in your life."
"I'm growing."
Aurora lets the line go and dismounts in a slow controlled slide, landing on bare feet slightly out of breath. She tucks her hair behind her ear with the small embarrassed motion of a ghoul who has just heard herself praised twice in the last twenty seconds. "I'm not â it's the third pass, I'm still finding it â"
"You're finding it well," Cirrus says, calm. "Run it again from the top."
Aurora nods and waits for Cumulus to restart her track.
Dew has stopped at the back of the room.
He hadn't meant to stop. He'd meant to walk through, exchange the appropriate number of nods, conduct a perfectly normal Tuesday. He stopped because Aurora is, in fact, doing better than well, and the small clean warmth that lands in his chest is, frankly, a relief after the morning he's had. Something in him that isn't compromised.
Something he can look at directly.
He watches her run the pass with his folio held against his chest and lets it sit. A real minute of being a ghoul who runs a club and is happy with his roster. No spiral. No card. No itch. Just the floor working the way he wants it to.
He almost makes the full minute.
Then his eye, entirely against his explicit instructions, slides toward the back hallway.
It's a small motion. Less than a glance. Anyone in the room could have missed it, would have missed it, did miss it â except Phantom, who notices everything, who has been on the receiving end of a hundred of these looks and has stopped counting, and who â without breaking eye contact with Aurora on the stage â says:
"Rain's upstairs."
Dew's whole face does not move.
"In the lounge," Phantom adds, helpfully. "Working out the new room. Been up there since I got here. Door's open."
"I wasn't â"
"I didn't say you were."
Phantom says it cheerfully without turning around.
Dew is left standing at the back of his own club with his composure listing several degrees to starboard.
"Your toe again," Phantom calls, mildly. "Perfect, baby. Hold it."
Bell appears at Dew's elbow.
Bell does this. Dew has stopped registering it as a surprise, but he has not stopped registering it as a condition â the change in atmospheric pressure that means Bell has decided something is about to happen to Dew's day.
Bell has a bottle.
He's holding it loose by the neck, the way you hold something you've already determined the weight of, and his face is doing absolutely nothing.
"Mister Delmere."
"Bell."
"Cumulus flagged a gap in the lounge bar setup over the weekend. Another vodka option, premium tier. The order came in this morning." He extends the bottle. "If you're heading back up."
Dew looks at the bottle. Looks at Bell.
Bell looks at Dew with the precise and untraceable neutrality of a ghoul who is, in fact, doing absolutely nothing right now and is offended at the implication that he could be.
"âŠRight," Dew says.
He takes the bottle.
He can't say no, Bell, you take it up. He can't say no, Bell, send anyone else. He can't say no, Bell, I'm specifically trying not to go up to the lounge right now without explaining why. Explaining why is the one thing he is incapable of doing because Bell would receive it with the same blank face he's currently wearing and file it under as previously suspected.
Bell nods once. "Thank you, sir."
"Mhm."
Phantom, on the chair, calls another toe correction.
Dew turns toward the back hallway with a folio under one arm and a bottle in the other hand and the growing suspicion that he has just been delivered.
· · · â đ„ž Â· đč · đ„ž â · · ·
Dew should stop at his office on the second floor because that's what a functional ghoul would do. Set the folio down, log the vodka in the lounge inventory, come back down after. That's the version of the next four minutes that involves the most stairs and the least amount of Rain.
He, of course, doesn't do any of this.
He keeps the folio in one hand and the bottle in the other and he turns for the lounge stairs. He doesn't examine any part of that decision either.
The music reaches him halfway up.
It's coming from the lounge, low and wrong somehow. A song slowed down past the point a song wants to go, every edge of it dragged soft. A man's voice somewhere inside the reverb, stretched so far the words have come apart. It sounds like the idea of a track, played underwater.
Dew slows on the stairs.
He could announce himself. There's a version of the next ten seconds where he says something from the hallway, clears his throat, and behaves like a ghoul who owns the building and not a ghoul sneaking up on it. That version is right there. Free. Available.
He doesn't do that, either.
He stops at the curtain instead, where the gap is, and he looks.
Rain has the room.
He's not dressed for it. Joggers slung low, a tank gone soft and shapeless with age, bare feet quiet on the floor he renovated. No collar. No rhinestones. None of the usual armor.
He's marking something out â Dew can see that much, can see it's work and not performance, the choreography taken down to half its speed and run without any of the shine on it. An arm going slow through a line. A turn started, stopped, started again. He's not selling anything. He's not even warm. He's just finding where the room wants him to be.
And that, Dew thinks, with the curtain edge caught between two fingers and his own pulse somewhere it shouldn't be â that is the problem.
He's watched Rain perform a dozen times. He's been aimed at. He knows what it is to be the thing Rain's body is pointed toward, and he's survived it (mostly) by understanding it as a transaction with the room.
This isn't that.
Nobody's being aimed at. Rain is alone, slow, unglossed, working a private craft in an empty room, and Dew is standing in the dark of the hallway watching him do it, and there is no transaction here to hide behind.
Just Rain.
Just the want, sitting in Dew's chest with no name on it and no excuse attached.
He should go.
The part of his brain responsible for good decision making didn't clock in today.
Rain crosses to the pole.
He walks the perimeter of it first. One hand trailing the brass, the contact light, almost incidental â the way a musician says hello to an instrument before asking anything of it. He's checking something. Tightness, maybe. Temperature. The pole has been sitting in the cold of the unheated lounge all weekend and he's letting his palm tell him about it.
Then he sets his feet.
The mount is unhurried. He doesn't jump it, doesn't haul. He just takes the pole, both hands, and the long lean line of his body lifts, ankles crossing neat at the brass, the whole motion costing him nothing visible. He hangs for a beat upside down, looking at the room from the wrong angle, head tipped back, throat exposed, considering.
Dew has stopped breathing in any organized way.
The bottle is warm in his hand. He hadn't realized he was holding it too tight.
It isn't, yet, the thing his brain wants to make it. It's good. It's elegant the way a sentence is elegant, structurally â every part doing exactly the work it was built for; no wasted motion, no announcement of effort. Rain's body lifts and pivots and the pole holds him and the whole thing happens at the speed the slowed-down song wants, which is barely any speed at all.
He rotates. One leg unfolds, finds a hook, settles. The other extends long into the air, toes pointed soft. He's not arched. He's just finding the line, adjusting a half inch, holding it, adjusting again, listening to what his body is telling him about the angle.
It must tell him something he doesn't like. He drops out of the hold, lands on bare feet without a sound. Walks the perimeter of the pole again.
Tries it again.
The second time the line is cleaner. He holds it longer. His head tips back further, the long pale line of his throat opening up to the ceiling mirror, and Dew's eye goes up, reflexively, the same coward's reflex as last time, the same safe-place lie.
The mirror gives him Rain a second time, from above, the slow rotation of him laid out flat against the dark of the ceiling.
Two of him.
This is, Dew realizes, becoming a recurring problem.
The thought is meant to be dry. It comes out worse than that â comes out somewhere closer to fond. The heat in his chest tips a degree further toward something he is not going to name, not in this hall, not while standing in the dark watching a ghoul who doesn't know he's being watched do something that isn't even for him â
Rain unhooks. Slides down the pole. Lands quiet.
He shakes out one wrist. Tips his head side to side, considering. Crosses to the speakers on bare feet to start the song over.
Dew should really leave.
His feet stay planted on the ground.
Rain restarts the song.
The slowed thing fills the room again, that underwater dragged-soft voice, the bass coming through the floor more than the air. He stretches one arm overhead. Then the other. Rolls his neck. Walks back to the pole.
Sets up for the mount again.
This time he's not testing. This time he's running it â the slow walk-in, the hands going to the brass, the lift that costs him nothing, the rotation, the leg unfolding into the hook. He holds the line. Holds it longer. His eyes close.
His eyes close.
Dew watches Rain dance with his eyes closed and feels something shift behind his sternum. Something he'd been operating, for a long time now, under the assumption he was done with.
He'd been wrong about that.
Rain's leg comes down. He dismounts in a slow controlled slide, the long line of his body unspooling against the brass, and his eyes open exactly as his bare feet touch the floor. He shakes out his shoulders. Considers the pole. Walks the perimeter again.
He's going to do it again.
He is going to run that line a third time and Dew is going to stand in this hallway and watch and there is no version of the rest of his afternoon in which he has not stood in the dark and watched Rain dance with his eyes closed and liked it and â
His phone buzzes.
It buzzes against his thigh inside his slacks pocket, the small mechanical hum of it absurdly loud in the slowed-song quiet, and Dew's whole body goes rigid because he knows, knows the second it starts, that the sound has carried.
Rain stops mid-step.
His head turns toward the curtain.
The phone buzzes again. And again. And again.
Not a notification, a flood â the staggered rapid-fire of a calendar tool dumping a queue of confirmations into his inbox one after another after another, each buzz a separate event, each event a booking, each booking a stranger.
Rain's eyes find the gap in the curtain.
Find Dew in it.
Dew, standing in the dark of his own hallway watching a ghoul on his own payroll do private work in a room he himself renovated, with a folio in one hand and a bottle of premium vodka in the other and a phone buzzing in his pocket that is currently announcing, in real time, that the room has just sold out for the next five weeks.
The phone buzzes a seventh time.
Rain raises one eyebrow.
"I â" Dew says.
He pushes the curtain aside because hiding behind it would be worse â a confession with fabric in front of it. He steps into the lounge with composure, a ghoul arriving somewhere on purpose, which he⊠is, technically. He's going to be extremely clear about that, he has a purpose to coming up here in the first place.
The purpose.
He'd had⊠a⊠purpose.
"I came up to â" His eyes do a fast desperate sweep of the room for a noun. They land on the bar setup. "â check the bottles."
Rain looks at him.
"The bottles," Rain repeats.
"Inventory." Dew's mouth has decided to keep going without consulting him. "For the bookings. I need to confirm the bar is â stocked. Appropriately. For the bookings."
His phone buzzes again. Eighth. He doesn't look at it.
Rain hasn't moved off the pole. He's standing with one hand still loose around the brass, hip cocked, head tipped, looking at Dew with the unhurried attention of a ghoul who's just watched the most controlled being he knows produce the word bottles under duress and has decided this is the best day he's had in weeks.
"You came up," Rain says, "to check the bottles."
"Yes."
"From the hallway."
"I â"
"You were checking the bottles," Rain says, "from behind the curtain. In the dark."
The phone buzzes. Ninth.
Dew, who has the vodka right there in his hand, who could, theoretically, just hold it up as a defense exhibit, doesn't.
Doing so would mean admitting that Bell handed him the vodka specifically to be walked up here right now, which would mean admitting Bell knew, which would mean admitting there was something for Bell to have known about. Dew has been in this room for approximately forty seconds and is already fighting a war on three fronts.
"It's a busy day," Dew says weakly.
Rain lets that sit. He lets it sit long, longer than is kind, the slowed song still dragging its soft underwater way through the speakers behind him. He doesn't stop looking at Dew, and Dew understands, standing there in his own tailoring with a folio pinned to his ribs and a bottle sweating in his palm, that Rain could say the true thing and is choosing not to.
That's almost worse.
"Mhm," Rain says, finally.
He pushes off the pole and crosses the room toward him, unhurried, bare feet quiet on the floor. Dew's nervous system briefs him with the calm professionalism of a ghoul reporting a fire.
He does not retreat. Retreating would also mean something.
Rain stops an arm's length away. Closer than colleagues. Not as close as the shuttle. He smells like clean sweat and the cold ghost of outside still in his hair, and he tips his head at the phone still buzzing against Dew's thigh.
"You gonna get that?"
Dew finally sets the folio down.
He pulls the phone out and the screen is a wall. A stacked column of confirmation banners, one on top of the next, the calendar tool's cheerful chime icon repeated down the whole display. He thumbs it open. The lounge calendar loads.
It's full.
Not full like a good night. Full like a month. The grid has gone solid â every available slot, claimed and confirmed and paid, five weeks deep, the white space he'd built into the schedule for sanitation turnover the only breathing room left on the page.
"Huh," Dew says.
"Yeah?"
"The lounge." He turns the screen briefly, then thinks better of showing Rain the specifics and turns it back. "It's. Booked."
"Already?"
"Opened the schedule this morning." His own voice sounds strange to him. "It's⊠booked. Through the end of next month."
Something flickers across Rain's face. Brief. Gone before Dew can read it, which is its own kind of information â Rain doesn't usually let things flicker. He covers it by glancing at the pole, then the bed, then the room at large. The room he was, ninety seconds ago, learning the bones of.
"Guess people want the new thing," Rain says.
"Guess so."
"That's good. For business." A beat. "Right?"
"It's very good for business," Dew says.
It is. It's extremely good for business. It's the single most successful product launch of his ownership and the numbers are going to make Mist do the thing where she almost smiles, and Dew is standing in the middle of his triumph holding the phone that proves it and feeling, distinctly, like he swallowed something cold.
Because the bookings have names attached.
He didn't read them. He turned the screen away before he could. But they're there, a column of strangers five weeks deep, and every one of them booked this room â the round bed, the ceiling mirror, the pole Rain just closed his eyes on â for sixty to ninety private minutes with a dancer of their choosing.
Rain is the headliner, and Rain is right here, and Dew built every part of this on purpose with his own two hands and his own signature and he cannot, for reasons he is also not going to examine, make the cold thing in his chest go away.
This isn't jealousy.
He wants to be clear with himself about that. It can't be jealousy, because jealousy would require a claim, and he has no claim. He⊠he doesn't want a claim. He wants â operational excellence. A safe room.
A profitable launch.
A happy headliner.
He wants Rain to not spend the next five weeks alone with strangers in the room Dew can't stop picturing him in.
For safety reasons.
"New boss."
He looks up.
Rain's expression has gone quiet and careful, and Dew realizes he's been silent for several seconds with his jaw doing something and the scorched-sugar smell of his own slipping control thick enough now that the water ghoul standing an arm's length away has definitely, definitely noticed it.
"You're burning," Rain says.
It's not a question. It's an observation, delivered flat, the way he noted that the lighting was wrong.
"It's warm in here," Dew says.
"It's not." Rain's eyes don't move off him. "Heat's barely on up here." A pause, unhurried, almost clinical. "That's you."
The scorched-sugar edge of him is, at this point, undeniable. There's no version of it's warm in here that survives a water ghoul standing close enough to read his actual temperature, and they both know it. Rain is just â letting it sit there. Not teasing. Not pushing. Holding the fact of it up to the light where Dew has to look at it.
That's you.
This is, Dew thinks, the most naked he's felt in his life, and he's fully clothed. The only thing Rain has done is correctly identify the ambient temperature.
He folds.
Not visibly â at least, he'd like to believe not visibly. He pockets the phone. Adjusts a collar pin and picks his folio back up.
"Bottles look fine," Dew says.
"You didn't check them."
"They look fine from here." He's already moving for the curtain. "Carry on. Good â the choreography. It's good."
He hears it leave his mouth. He can't recall it. It's good, the choreography, said by the ghoul who claimed under oath thirty seconds ago to have come up here for inventory and not, under any circumstances, to watch.
Rain says nothing.
Dew doesn't look back to find out what Rain's face is doing. Looking back would mean something and he's done enough meaning for one morning.
He pushes through the curtain and takes the stairs down at a pace that is not quite a retreat and lands in the empty second-floor landing with his heart going and the smell of his own control still clinging to him and a calendar in his pocket full of strangers and the bottle of vodka he was supposed to be delivering still in his hand.
He doesn't go back up.
He also does not, technically, complete the errand.
Bell's going to notice.
Bell is going to notice and Bell is going to say absolutely nothing about it, which is worse.
đ„ž
Upstairs, Rain stands in the quiet a moment after the curtain falls.
The slowed song is still going, the same eight bars come back around. He looks at the curtain. Then at the phone-shaped absence in the air where the new boss had stood radiating heat and lying about it.
Burning. Over a booking calendar.
Rain files it under none of my business, which is where it belongs, which is where he is going to keep it.
He walks back to the pole.
He sets his feet. He takes the brass â cool under his palms, exactly as cool as it should be, no one else's temperature anywhere near it. He lifts, and he finds the line, and he runs the set again from the top.
He's not thinking about it.
He runs it twice more, clean, and absolutely doesn't think about it either time.
· · · â đ„ž Â· đč · đ„ž â · · ·
There are four people Bell could have asked to retrieve the mirror ball.
Mountain, who could carry it down one-handed. Swiss, who owes a favor and wouldn't have spoken for the entire drive. Cumulus, who knows the storage facility's layout better than Bell does and would have located the thing in half the time. Or Cirrus, whose presence is restful.
Bell has a list. Bell always has a list. The list, in this instance, contains four entirely sensible names, ranked by suitability, each of whom Phantom outranks for no defensible reason whatsoever.
Phantom didn't ask, technically. Phantom announced. They appeared at Bell's elbow, vibrating, and said the words 'I heard you're getting the disco ball from storage' with the reverence of a pilgrim who's finally located the shrine, and Bell had said yes, because it was true, and the rest simply happened to him.
Now they're in Dew's company SUV, and Phantom has the aux.
"This," Phantom says, holding their phone aloft, "is a song about a horse."
"I did not ask."
"You're going to want context."
"I assure you I will not."
Phantom plays the song about the horse.
Bell drives at the speed limit, keeps both hands on the wheel. He's found that there's no situation Phantom can construct that can't be survived through the simple application of not engaging, and he intends to apply it now, comprehensively, for the full duration of the errand.
"You're tapping," Phantom says.
Bell stops.
He hadn't been aware that he was tapping.
This is, he reflects, exactly the problem with Phantom: they notice things. They notice the small involuntary things a ghoul does when his composure is operating at ninety-eight percent and not one hundred. They notice, and then they announce, and the announcing is somehow worse than the noticing. Bell has spent several weeks now constructing a face that gives them nothing and he's no longer confident it's working.
"It's a good song," Phantom says, gentler, like they're letting him off the hook.
Bell doesn't thank them for it.
But he doesn't, against every instinct he has, change the song.
The mirror ball was not, as it turned out, in the back room at Tempt.
Phantom had been so sure. Bell, who reconciled the off-site inventory when the acquisition went through, had not corrected them, and is choosing not to examine why. There's a list of things Bell is choosing not to examine today. It's already had additions.
So: the facility. Twenty minutes north, with Phantom and the aux and a song, now, about a different horse.
"Okay, but this one's a metaphorical horse," Phantom is saying.
"They're all metaphorical horses."
"See, you are getting it!"
Bell takes the exit. Phantom has both feet up on the dash, which Bell has decided, after a brief internal negotiation, not to fight, because the alternative is a conversation about it and a conversation about it is what Phantom wants.
He gives them, instead, silence.
Phantom fills it. He figured they would.
They fill it with the metaphorical horse and then with a theory about the disco theme costuming and then with an unsolicited ranking of everyone at Tempt by how well they'd survive the apocalypse (Mountain first, obviously; Bell, alarmingly, second; Phantom places themself last with the cheerful fatalism of a ghoul who knows their strengths are social).
Bell drives.
He doesn't participate.
He does, somewhere around the third horse, stop actively not listening, and by the time the storage facility comes into view he could, if pressed, reproduce Phantom's entire apocalypse ranking from memory.
He won't be pressed. But he could do it anyways.
The facility is a long low building full of other people's forgotten decisions.
Bell signs them in and the attendant waves them back without comment, though his eyes track Phantom for a moment with the wariness of a man who's seen what enthusiasm does to climate-controlled storage.
Unit 14 is at the end of the third row.
Bell rolls the door up and the smell of it comes out to meet them â cool, dry, a little dusty, the museum-hush of objects that have outlived their use and are simply waiting to become relevant again. Tempt's history lives in here, boxed and shelved and labeled.
Old staging. Retired signage. A rack of costumes from eras Bell has only read about in the ledgers. Aether's things, some of them, still â Bell has never had the heart, or the instruction, to clear them.
Phantom goes very quiet.
It's the quietest they've been since leaving the club. Bell turns to check on them out of something that isn't concern, it's⊠purely operational vigilance. The responsible monitoring of a known variable in an enclosed space.
Phantom is standing just inside the door with their hands clasped under their chin, looking down the length of the unit with their whole face lit up.
"Bell," they breathe. "It's a time capsule."
"It's a storage unit."
"It's the attic of the gay little club."
"Mirror ball," Bell says. "Far shelf. We're here for the mirror ball."
But Phantom's already gone down the row, trailing a hand along the shelving, reading labels out loud in a hushed delighted voice, and Bell, against the entire architecture of his self-discipline, doesn't call them back immediately.
He gives them a moment.
He tells himself it's because the mirror ball is heavy and he'd rather locate it precisely than rush. He tells himself they have plenty of time. He tells himself⊠several things, in hopes that maybe one of them will be true.
He follows Phantom down the row at an unhurried distance and watches them discover Tempt's whole forgotten history one label at a time. The unit is cool and quiet and smells like dust and waiting, and Phantom's voice is the only warm thing in it.
The mirror ball is exactly where Bell knew it would be.
Hanging from a far shelf, third unit, behind a rolling rack of garment bags and beneath a fitted dust cover. He could have walked directly to it. He could have had it in the SUV in four minutes flat.
He locates Phantom instead, three shelves deep, holding up a sequined something against their own chest and turning to catch the overhead light.
"Bell. Bell. Tell me this isn't the most beautiful thing you've ever seen."
"That is a 2014 Pride costume. The sequins shed."
"So it's retired."
"It's biohazard-adjacent."
"It's vintage." Phantom holds it higher, reverent. "This has history, Bell. Someone danced in this. Someone had the night of their life in this." They lower it, suddenly thoughtful. "Or a terrible night. Either way. Stakes."
Bell takes the costume out of their hands and returns it to its box, because the alternative is that it comes home with them. He files the small flare of something he feels watching Phantom's face fall â not regret, he tells himself, simply the natural conclusion of a logistics decision â at the bottom of the list, with the others.
The list is getting long today.
"Mirror ball," he says. "It's over here. Help me with the cover."
And Phantom, who's spent the entire errand resisting every single instruction Bell has issued, immediately and without complaint crosses the unit to help.
They lift the dust cover together. Phantom takes one side, Bell the other, and they pull it off in one motion. The mirror ball comes out from under the canvas all at once, catches the single overhead bulb, and throws it.
The whole unit goes to light.
A thousand small squares of it, spinning slow off the surface as the ball turns on its hook, scattering across the shelves and the garment bags and the boxed-up history and the dust hanging in the cool air. Across Aether's old boxes.
Across Phantom's whole upturned, delighted, little face.
Phantom makes a small involuntary sound. Not a laugh. Not a look at that. Just a soft oh â the sound of a ghoul who's been ambushed.
They tip their head back further, hands slack at their sides, watching the ball turn. The bit is gone. The horse is gone. The performance is gone. There's only a ghoul with slow squares of light moving across their face, looking at something more beautiful than they expected to find, and Bell â
Bell has stopped moving.
He'd meant to say good, it works, let's go. He'd meant to check the fixture point, run the cable, note the ball for the cleaner in the morning. Those are the actions he came here to perform. They're on the list. He's aware of the list.
He's aware, further, that he's not currently performing any of them, and that this failure of action is being observed by nobody, since Phantom is looking at the ball, and Bell is looking at Phantom, and more specifically at the small squares of light that are moving across Phantom's cheekbone and their throat and the hollow at the base of their neck, where their pulse has gone slow and â
He doesn't know what to file this under. He is also, in fact, aware, with a small and specific alarm, that no folder for this exists. The list has failed entirely.
The composure hasn't failed, technically, in that his face hasn't moved and his hands are still at his sides and he's still breathing. But the composure is a shell around something Bell can't name, and that something has weight, and that something is looking at Phantom looking at the light.
Oh, Phantom says again, quieter, speaking to no one.
The unit turns slowly around them.
Bell should say something. There's a sentence appropriate to the moment. The sentence would restore the errand, would return them both to the list of tasks that got them here. He could, with a small application of will, locate the sentence, produce it, get the mirror ball into the SUV and be back at Tempt before the next hour ends.
He chooses to watch Phantom watch the ball instead.
The ball turns. The light moves. His whole life is a list and this is not on it.
He is aware, distantly, that he's going to have to sit with this later. Alone. When he has time to look at it properly, in daylight, with his file open and a pen in his hand and some kind of infrastructure around him.
But for now, the ball turns. He doesn't stop it. Phantom doesn't stop it. Nobody in the unit says anything for what is, by Bell's internal count, an unusually long time.
He should really say something.
He doesn't.
"Can I ask you something," Phantom says, eventually.
They're still looking up at the ball. The light moves across their face in slow squares. It's the least performed Bell has ever heard them â no setup, no bit, no horse. Just the question, set down quietly in the dust.
"You may ask," Bell says. "I make no guarantee of an answer."
"Yeah. I figured that part." Phantom turns one of the little squares of light over on the back of their hand, watching it slide. "It's about Rain."
Bell says nothing. This is, he's found, the most reliable way to get information and to give none: people fill silence. He's built a career in the spaces other people rush to fill.
Phantom does as expected.
"Something's up with him." They say it carefully. "And it's not â it's not a bad thing, I don't think. He's not in trouble. He's just." They frown, searching. "He's off. He gets this look. I've known him a long time, Bell, I know all his looks, and this is a new one, and it shows up â " they stop. Start again. "It shows up around a⊠specific subject. And I think you know what the subject is. And I think you've known longer than me, because you know everything, which by the way is deeply annoying."
Bell considers the mirror ball.
He has, in fact, known longer than Phantom. He's known since the very beginning, when Mister Delmere sent an email with a purchase request a little too late at night. He's watched it accumulate: the careful nods, the dressing room, the nine days, the comment card folded into quarters that Mister Delmere doesn't know Bell knows about. He has a complete and ordered file. He could brief Phantom in under ninety seconds.
He won't.
"I'm not certain I follow," Bell says.
Phantom turns and looks at him directly. The light slides off the ball across both of them now, and their expression is not fooled in the slightest.
"You follow," they say. "You're Bell. You follow everything."
"I don't speculate about Mister Delmere's personal affairs."
Phantom's eyebrows go up.
"I didn't say it was about the boss."
Bell doesn't react. Not reacting is the single most developed muscle he has. He doesn't react and he keeps not reacting through the entire long delighted silence in which Phantom realizes exactly what he's just done, their whole face opening up like the unit did when the cover came off.
"Bell."
"The cover goes into the bin by the shelf."
"Bell. You just â that was a confirmation, you realize that, that was â"
"I confirmed nothing."
"You confirmed everything. That's worse. That's so much worse than confirming, that's â" Phantom presses both hands to their own chest, wounded with joy. "Oh, this is delicious. They're both â unholy shit. They're both idiots â"
"I am going to carry the mirror ball to the vehicle," Bell says, with enormous dignity, "and you are going to bring the dust cover, and we are not going to discuss this on the drive."
"We are absolutely going to discuss this on the drive."
"We are not."
The drive back to Tempt could be described as many things.
Silent would not be one of them.
· · · â đ„ž Â· đč · đ„ž â · · ·
Phantom finds him in the dressing room before the evening shift.
Rain knows it's bad the second they come through the door, because they don't say anything. Phantom not saying anything is a weather event. They just drift in, drop onto the vanity edge, pick up his setting spray, examine the label like it's a puzzle they're solving, and wait.
Rain keeps doing his liner.
"You're glittering," he says, to the mirror. There's actual glitter on them. Caught in their hair, dusted across one cheekbone, sitting bright on the underside of their jaw. "Why are you glittering."
"Storage run. Disco ball. Long story." They set the spray down. Pick it back up. "Bell drove."
"Ah."
"Bell's a good driver."
The good is doing something. Rain lets it pass.
"Mhm."
Rain finishes the wing on his left eye. Switches to the right. He can feel Phantom looking at him in the mirror â not the usual gossip-incoming look, but something underneath it. Something with intent.
He's known Phantom a long time. He knows when they've decided something about him. He knows the tell of it, the way Phantom holds a piece of information they haven't been given permission to hold â the way their mouth goes soft at one corner while the rest of their face works very hard at nothing.
Their mouth is soft at one corner.
"What," Rain says.
"Nothing." A beat, delicately measured. "How's the new room?"
His hand doesn't slip. He's good; his hand doesn't slip. But there's a half-second where the brush hovers a hair off his lash line before it touches down, and the thing about doing your eyes in a mirror with your best friend watching you in the same mirror is that there is nowhere to put a half-second where it won't be seen.
Phantom does not remark on it, which is the second most alarming thing Phantom has done in the last minute.
"It's a room," Rain says.
"It booked out?"
"Heard it did."
"Five weeks, Bell said." Phantom is very casual. Phantom is never casual. "Bet the boss is thrilled. All that⊠business."
Rain sets the brush down.
He looks at Phantom in the mirror. Phantom looks back, glitter on their cheek, expression open and terrible and kind. There's a shape underneath it all that Rain, if he were less careful with himself, would have to admit looks a lot like a pin Phantom is currently choosing not to pull.
Rain understands that Phantom knows something. He doesn't know how much. He doesn't know what shape it is in their head. But they've got a piece of it, and they're holding it out, and they're waiting to see if he'll take it.
He doesn't.
"Good for business," Rain says.
It's the new boss's line. He hears it leave his own mouth in the new boss's flat careful cadence and he could die. Phantom hears it too â he watches them hear it, watches the corner of their mouth pull with the specific effort of a ghoul not saying the thing they came here to say.
Phantom holds it. For a whole beat. For a whole two beats, long enough that Rain's stomach does something he's going to also not examine.
Then Phantom sets it down.
"Sure," they say, gently. "Good for business."
They hop off the counter. Drop a kiss on the top of Rain's head, glitter and all, and they leave it there, whatever they came in carrying. They set it down and they leave it, which is the single kindest thing Phantom knows how to do and they do it so rarely that Rain feels the weight of being spared.
"Make someone stupid tonight," they say brightly at the door.
"Always do."
And then they're gone, and Rain is alone with the mirror and the wing he hasn't finished and the thing he just heard himself say.
Good for business.
He picks the brush back up.
The new boss had stood in the lounge that morning, radiating heat over a booking calendar, lying about it, fleeing down the stairs at a pace that wasn't his usual. Over numbers. Over the room doing well.
Except Rain had run the set twice more after he left and he'd felt it the whole time â the warm shape of where the new boss had stood. The way the heat had pointed at him and not the calendar. He knows what it is to be aimed at. He's made a career out of reading exactly where want is pointed in a room.
It hadn't been pointed at the numbers.
Rain finishes the wing.
He doesn't let the thought finish. He's good at this â better than the new boss, who wears it on his skin where any cold-blooded ghoul can read it. Rain keeps his under. Keeps it where the float tank found it, deep, behind the sternum. He puts it back there. He closes the drawer on it.
He has a set to run. He has a floor to work. He has, starting next week, a brand-new room with his name in the booking grid, ninety private minutes at a time, strangers paying for what he does better than anyone in the building.
It's good for business.
He caps the liner. Checks himself in the mirror â collar on, rhinestones catching, the BABY sitting bright at his throat where two hot fingers had once fixed the catch.
The armor's on. The face is right.
He goes to work.
What he doesn't do â what he won't, not in the mirror, not on the floor, not for one cold-blooded second of the entire night â is let himself stand in the warm spot the want left and admit it's still there.
It'll be there tomorrow.
It's always there tomorrow.
you know what? I'm getting in early. Pretty please can we see a Bell sidequest for the field trip? đ€
Oh but of COURSE we can, beloved!! (also, my sincere apologies, I'm not sure if you're already asleep--if you are, something sweet to start your day <3)
Anyways -- field trip day, Bell's point of view!
đ„ž
Sidequest: Field Trip
· · · â đ„ž Â· đč · đ„ž â · · ·
There was a seating logic.
Bell had worked it out shortly after picking up the shuttle, systematically, before the relevant parties got a chance to complicate anything.
Mister Delmere in the front, so they could go over the tour layout. Swiss and Mountain behind them, leg room, for the big ghouls. Aurora, Mist, and Phantom, in the back; plenty of room for the smallest of the bunch. Leaving Rain, Cirrus, and Cumulus to occupy the middle.
It was a sound logic. Everyone would have the appropriate amount of space, Mist could keep an eye on the brewing chaos storm known as Phantom, and all would be well.
Simple, really.
Phantom announced shotgun before they even left the lounge.
So: Phantom in the front seat, then. The rest of the logic reorganizes around its single point of deviation. Dew, last in, takes the only remaining space in row two. Bell notices this with the professional detachment of someone who has been paid, for a very long time, not to react to the things he notices.
He pulls from the curb at exactly the speed limit.
Phantom has the aux.
The first song is in a language Bell doesn't speak, with a bass line that makes the door panel vibrate. Phantom is mouthing the words at Bell like maybe that will get their meaning across. Bell adjusts the rearview mirror.
"Phantom."
"What."
"Volume."
"This is on volume five, Bell."
"Volume four."
"Volume four is for cowards."
"Volume four, Phantom."
Phantom brings it to four with a sigh that implies genuine personal sacrifice. Bell notes this and says nothing, because that would constitute engagement, and engagement is the thing Phantom has been trying to produce since they first laid eyes on him, appearing with those shots that they took so easily, their throat bobbing â
He moves his eyes back to the road.
Swiss says, quietly, from the far back: "Phantom. If you play that song you played in the dressing room last Saturday I will walk to Helion."
"It's not on this playlist."
"It better not be."
"âŠI'll skip it."
"Mhm."
Bell's mouth doesn't move.
The van makes a gentle left. Bell has his eyes on the road and is watching traffic. From row two there is a sound. Small. Barely there. The kind of sound a ghoul makes when ambushed by their own nervous system. Bell is making no record of this.
He adjusts the rearview mirror again.
In row two, Mister Delmere is experiencing what Bell has categorized, conservatively, as an ongoing⊠situation. It has the quality of something that intends to become a scheduling problem and is simply waiting on the relevant parties to cooperate with it.
Bell has been managing Dew's situations long enough to recognize the posture: the careful stillness, the folio on the lap, the scrupulously neutral expression of a ghoul who is having no reactions.
Rain isn't doing anything. This is the consistent feature of the situation. He doesn't have to try, since all the trying is on the other end. Bell watches Mister Delmere sit at attention and feels the long-suffering fondness of a ghoul who has watched his boss systematically avoid and deny every good thing to fall into his lap, for the simple fact that he thinks he doesn't deserve it.
Well.
Bell tilts his head. Less lap, more leg pressed to leg. Interesting.
"You drive like a demon, Bell," Phantom says, recovering.
"I drive at the speed limit."
"You are a latent menace, Bell."
The corner of Bell's mouth moves. The very corner â a twitch, involuntary, the kind of thing that years of professional composure should have eliminated and apparently has not â
"Cowbell Bell Ghoul," Phantom says, delighted. "Was that a smile?"
"That is not my name."
"But that was a smile."
"It was not."
Bell keeps his eyes forward and his expression neutral, Phantom's quick movements small flashes in his peripherals.
Laughter rolls through the shuttle, Phantom leaning closer now, voice low enough that no one else can hear. Bell can smell their ozone, the clean cut of mint.
"That was absolutely a smile and I want it acknowledged â"
"Helion's on the next block," Bell says, after a beat. "Coming up on the right."
He signals. He checks his mirrors. He does all of this with perfect composure and does not examine the fact that his composure has a crack in it that is Phantom-shaped and has been there for longer than he is prepared to acknowledge.
"Helion."
Bell puts the van in park. The doors open. Cold air comes in, the van empties â Phantom first, everyone filing out, Cumulus and Cirrus already talking, Aurora in the middle of both conversations. Bell stays at the wheel a moment, as he always does. Long enough to confirm the hazards. Long enough to check the mirrors one final time.
He sees Rain, holding the door into Helion. The look back over his shoulder at Dew.
Dew on the sidewalk with his folio, looking like a ghoul who has forgotten what hands are for.
Bell gets out.
"Mister Delmere."
"Bell."
"After you."
đ„ž
The tour takes exactly as long as planned.
Bell spends most of that time in the margins. This is his preferred position on excursions. Present, available, unobtrusive. He has a clipboard with the feedback forms and a mental accounting of everyone's position at all times, which is useful when what he is observing is Mister Delmere conducting a soft-open for a group of ghouls who cannot, collectively, maintain a straight line through a corridor.
They are not bad guests. They are simply a lot of them.
Phantom is a lot of them by themself.
Bell tracks Phantom through the building the way he tracks all variables. It's not fixation, more⊠asset management.
The ground floor is a loss â Phantom finds the moss wall immediately and Bell isn't close enough to hear the exchange but can reconstruct it from context: Dew's shoulders going incrementally rigid, Phantom's hands going up in a gesture that is technically compliance. The second floor, however, does something to Phantom that Bell doesn't have a ready category for.
The light changes, the sound falls differently, and something about it stops Phantom mid-step at the landing in a way that Bell would, in a different register, call struck. They stand there for a moment, not performing anything, just standing with their face doing something private in the direction of the float tank corridor.
Bell finds something on his clipboard that requires attention.
He gives them the moment.
He gives them, in fact, several moments â long enough that by the time he looks up, the group has relocated and Phantom is currently doing something Bell would categorize as a professional threat assessment of Omega, who has the particular misfortune of being both objectively attractive and currently within Phantom's sightline.
Bell looks at this for exactly as long as is necessary.
He coughs.
Then he catches Phantom's eye and gives them an expression that says absolutely not without moving a single facial muscle.
Phantom's eyebrow goes up a quarter inch, the specific Phantom expression that means really â and holds there for a beat.
Bell holds their gaze. His clipboard remains level. His expression remains neutral.
Phantom looks back at him for one more moment.
Then they look away from Omega entirely.
Bell returns to his clipboard. He makes a note about the recovery suite lighting that does not need to be made. He's aware, in a peripheral and entirely non-urgent way, that his ears have gone warm â copper, if anyone were positioned to notice. Phantom is no longer looking at Omega and Bell is not examining why that is the outcome he wanted.
He has several reasons it was the appropriate professional call.
He is, if he is being precise about it, still adding to the list.
đ„ž
The comment cards are Bell's idea. They are a practical solution to a practical problem â Helion's feedback architecture exists for clinical purposes, and the soft-open represents an early informal data set. They are also, and Bell will own this privately, a way to move a group of performing artists toward a vehicle by framing departure as a transaction.
Everyone fills a card out. That's the price of being driven home.
It works, which Bell considers a success.
He collects them by the front entrance as the group assembles â clipboard in hand, pens provided. Aurora fills all four prompts in handwriting that includes small flowers on the capital letters, and thanks Bell directly when she hands it over. He acknowledges this with a nod and a mental note that she is, unambiguously, a sweetheart of a ghoul.
Mountain's is two words. Good towels. Bell makes a note. Mountain is a ghoul who knows what matters.
Swiss's runs longer: Tell whoever did the salt corridor I'm willing to fight them for the recipe. I have never breathed like that in my life. Mountain says the towels were good. He's right. Bell marks this for the facilities team.
Mist's: Tell Pebble their hands are a gift to the industry. Bell underlines it. He will be telling Dew, who will certainly inform Pebble.
Rain takes the card and pen and writes without hesitating, the behavior of a ghoul who arrived knowing what he wanted to say. He hands it back face-down. Bell turns it over.
Two words. Small, precise handwriting.
Nice hands.
Bell's expression doesn't change. He puts this where he puts everything belonging to Mister Delmere's ongoing situation: the back of his mind, labeled, somewhere he will not be tripping over it in the dark.
He turns to Phantom.
Phantom is still writing.
They've been writing, Bell realizes, for slightly longer than anyone else, bent over the card with focused, deliberate attention, which is not an energy Bell typically associates with Phantom.
He waits. He is, among many other things, very patient.
Phantom finishes and looks up.
They hold the card out directly, fingers on one end, the other end aimed at Bell. Bell takes it because there is nothing else to do, and he reads it because the alternative is standing there holding an unread card, which is not something Bell does.
What we did well: The driver. Both hands on the wheel the entire time. Very professional.
What we could do better: Volume four.
Anything else: [a string of digits] â Ph.
Optional contact information: see above. keep up.
Bell is aware that his ears have gone warm again.
He doesn't look up immediately. This is not because he needs more time with the card â he has read it, in full, twice now. But because there's information on his face he's not prepared to share with anyone yet, and Phantom is still there, watching him the way they watch things they find interesting, directly and without any apparent self-consciousness.
Bell finally looks up.
Phantom winks.
"I'm sitting shotgun again," they announce.
Not a question.
Bell says nothing. He watches Phantom turn and walk toward Helion's front door with the easy confidence of a ghoul who has just made a move and knows exactly where it landed, and then he looks back down at the card.
He opens his inner jacket pocket and places the card inside.
He finds Mister Delmere near the lobby in quiet conversation with one of the Helion staff, folio open, doing what he does best, which is to say: not stopping. He holds out the stack when Dew glances up.
"Overwhelming praise, sir," Bell says, making sure Rain's card is on the bottom of the pile.
Dew takes the stack. "Thank you, Bell."
Bell has found, over a long professional history, that Mister Delmere occasionally benefits from a reminder of what he's built. He has also found that Mister Delmere is considerably more receptive to such reminders when they arrive sideways.
"And how was Delta's new protocol?"
He watches Dew's left eyelid tremor and feels, faintly, a spark of pride.
"Effective."
"Mm." Bell closes his tablet. "I'm heading out to do drop-offs."
"See you tomorrow, Bell."
He leaves before Dew can say anything further, which is, Bell has found, the optimal exit. He does not look back at Mister Delmere standing alone in the lobby of the thing he built.
đ„ž
Phantom is already in the front seat when Bell reaches the van.
Of course they are.
Bell gets in and adjusts his mirrors and does not remark on the fact that they have resumed their exact positions as though the intervening excursion was a commercial break.
Phantom has the aux plugged into their phone.
Bell says nothing about the volume.
Phantom turns it to four anyway as he pulls away from the curb.
After a short while Aurora tips sideways against Cirrus's shoulder. Swiss and Mountain are arranged in the back row with the stillness of two ghouls who have reached maximum relaxation. Cumulus, Rain and Mist all look about thirty seconds from sleep, which the city potholes do their duty to prevent.
Phantom changes the song. Something in a language Bell doesn't speak, which is, at this point, a theme.
"What's this one about," Bell says.
Phantom turns to look at him. Slowly.
"Bell," they say, cautiously.
"It's a reasonable question."
"It's a⊠love song," Phantom says, in the tone of someone who is not, technically, lying.
Bell drives. The bass does something through the door panels.
"Mm," he says.
Phantom faces front again, and Bell can hear the smile in it without looking.
The route home is longer than the route out. Individual drop-offs â Bell has everyone's addresses already mapped in his tablet in the most efficient order, because of course he does â and the van empties by degrees. Mist first, a quiet thank you at her door. Then Swiss and Mountain, Mountain unfolding from the back row while Swiss's hand trails down his arm as he follows. Aurora, Cirrus, and Cumulus in a cluster, Cirrus and Cumulus already drifting toward each other on the walk to the door, Cumulus saying something that makes Cirrus tip her head and laugh. Rain last of the group, lifting two fingers in a brief half-wave from the sidewalk before turning down the block.
Then it's just Phantom in the front seat, a few miles left, and the music still at four.
"You're quieter," Phantom says.
"I'm always quiet."
"You're quieter than your quiet." A beat. "The card okay?"
Bell doesn't look at them.
"The cards were a useful data collection mechanism," he says. "I expect Mister Delmere will find them informative."
They settle back in the seat, feet off the dash for once, quiet in a way that does not feel like running out of things to say.
"I meant mine," Phantom says.
Bell takes the turn. Regulation speed. Both hands on the wheel.
"It was noted," he says.
A small sound from Phantom. Bell is fairly certain it's a smile. He doesn't look. He doesn't need to. He has sufficient data.
"This is you," Bell says, pulling to the curb.
Phantom collects their things unhurriedly, in the specific way of someone who has nowhere else to be and is choosing not to be there yet. They pause with their hand on the door.
"The rental return is three blocks away," Bell says.
Phantom waits.
"Next time I'll just pick you up."
A beat.
Bell is aware, approximately one second after saying this, of precisely what he has said.
Phantom turns back. Their mouth has done something just shy of terrible.
"Next time, huh?" they say.
"For⊠the shuttle," Bell says.
"Right," Phantom says, in the tone of someone who is not, by any measure, agreeing with him.
They get out. Bell watches the door close. Watches Phantom reach the steps of their building and glance back once, just once, and then he puts the van in drive.
He returns the shuttle, signs the paperwork, and gets in his car. Sits for a moment with his hands in his lap before he drives home at exactly the speed limit.
He decides, as the engine goes quiet in the garage and the building settles around him, that he will not be looking at it tonight.
His hand finds his jacket pocket without being asked. He will not take the card out.
This is, he notes, probably not true.
· · · â đ„ž Â· đč · đ„ž â · · ·
The teal, Phantom has decided, is better for the shoulders, but the gold does something to their eyes, and both of these things are true simultaneously, which is the fundamental problem with having taste.
"You're not helping," they tell Rain.
Rain's face, small in the corner of the phone screen, tilts slightly. "I said the gold."
"You said it like someone who wants to stop talking about it."
"I do want to stop talking about it."
"That's not help, that's surrender." Phantom spins once â the gold catches the light, which is a point in its favor â then back the other way to check the difference. Rain watches.
This is the arrangement: Phantom performs, Rain observes, and both of them get something out of it that neither would name on a quiet Monday night.
Their phone buzzes.
Phantom doesn't look immediately, could be anything, usually is anything, the group chat runs at a volume that would concern a less seasoned person. But the notification is from an unknown number, and Phantom's heart skips.
They pick up the phone.
This is Bell. Thank you for the feedback.
Phantom's face, caught before they can do anything useful with it, goes quiet. The softness around their eyes, their chin tipping down just slightly, like something landing rather than being taken. It's quick. It's real.
Rain doesn't miss it. Rain never misses it.
"Phantom," he says.
"It's Bell." Their voice comes out genuine, which was not the plan, and then they laugh, good-natured, a little helpless, full of something warm.
They pick the phone up from the dresser and hold it too close to their face. "'Thank you for the feedback,' Rain. He â" Another laugh. "That is so â"
"Yeah," Rain says.
"He texted."
"I see that."
Phantom looks back at their own face in the mirror. The teal, the gold, none of it especially load-bearing anymore. They didn't know until just now how much they were waiting.
"Should I send him my tits in this? Maybe he'll have more of an opinion than you."
"Lucifer's left nut, Phantom."
They both laugh, and Phantom goes quiet again.
"...what do I actually say to him."
Rain looks at them for a moment through the screen. At Phantom's face in the mirror, unguarded, the gold top still catching the light.
"Something true," he says.
Phantom puts the teal back on the rack.
· · · â đ„ž Â· đč · đ„ž â · · ·
Day 26: What Goes Thump in the Night
prompts via @ghost-creative-prompts - thank you for organizing this year!
Kink: Fear Play, Fingering, Exhibition
Pairing: Phantom/Cowbell
AO3
Summary: Phantom likes to live dangerously⊠and is surprised when danger is already waiting. (fear play, exhibition, fingering (Phantom has a cunt), power play, predation, voyeurism, light humiliation, shame, big monsterfucking energy)
a/n: uhhhhh, happy thanksgiving?
The shadows in the den pulse like lungs.
Phantom lies draped across the couch like a spoiled little god-thing, limbs thrown wide, one arm flung dramatically over their eyes. Head tipped back, throat bared and eyes half-lidded. Their thighs are parted, their other hand lazy between them.
Their tail curls. Stretches. Flicks idly at the floor.
Itâs been a long day in the infirmary. Theyâve spent hours with gloved hands and a steady breath, coaxing bodies back from the edge â stitching wounds, soothing nerves, easing pain, and drawing smiles from the hurting.
But now, their own skin buzzes. Their muscles ache with unspent tension. They donât want quiet. Donât want praise.
They want contact.
Something firm. A little cruel. Bent back under pressure until they spark.
But no oneâs come.
They expected an audience by now.
Phantom sighs. Dramatic. Bored.
Loud enough to echo, just a little.
They let their wrist fall from their forehead so they can peek beneath it, one eye open and expectant.
The den remains dim.
Flickering firelight. Familiar shadows.
EmptyâŠ
Strange, for the hour.
This is when the others usually start to gather. When the den breathes with warmth and chatter, when bodies pass through, trailing laughter and static and the scent of skin and abbey life.
But now, thereâs only the crackle of the hearth.
No footsteps. No voices. Not even the low murmur of someone humming down the hall.
Just... silence.
It scratches. Catches on something in the back of their brain like a dull hook.
A little too quiet. The wrong side of still.
Like the walls are listening. Like the firelight doesn't quite reach the corners.
Like something just out of sight is watching them breathe.
Phantom shifts. Stretches. Lets the leather beneath them creak in protestâanything to break the hush, to drown out the tremble in their own breath.
Any sound will do.
They shift and suddenly⊠a touch.
Not a full one.
But something.
At their collarbone, featherlightâand then it's gone again.
Like it was never there at all.
They freeze.
Every hair on their body lifts.
They bring one hand up slow, press their fingers to the spot.
Nothing.
No heat. No mark. No reason.
Their tail gives a sharp flick.
They tell themself itâs just a nerve twitch. Post-shift tension, maybe. Simple shivering myokymia. Textbook. Harmless.
Nothing to worry about.
But thenâsomething warmer. A brush at the nape of their neck, soft and slow, like a mouth that knows them. Like a hand with all the time in the world.
Phantom jerks upright with a gaspâbut thereâs no one behind them.
Just shadows.
Just fire.
But the flames... they move like something passed too close. Like something just ducked out of sight.
Phantomâs breath catches. They swallow thickly, eyes locked on the fire as it settles.
The air doesnât.
Itâs the smell first. Faint. Almost forgettable. That odd, impossible trace of petrichor, all wet stone and turned soil, damp and rich. Something half-remembered from a childhood storm.
Or a garden left to rot.
It doesn't belong here.
Beneath it, thinner than smoke, a hum begins to build.
Not a sound, exactly. More like a shimmer behind their eyes. A taste behind their teeth. Static.
Slow, creeping dread that clings to the skin like breath on glass.
Phantom swallows. The air feels thick. Like the space has changed shape around them. Like theyâre being watched â not from across the room, but from inside it.
Thatâs when they feel it.
A second heartbeat.
Not theirs.
Not⊠theirs.
They don't hear it, not really â but itâs felt.
Thump thump.
A deep-thrum pulse blooming inside their chest.
Thump thump.
Through their bones.
Thump thump.
A chill ripples down Phantomâs spine. Their pulse skitters, hiccups, trying to catch the rhythm of that other beat.
They blink. Swallow. Try to laugh the fear out of their throat.
âYouâre such a drama queen,â they mutter to themself, like they can shame the dark into behaving.
They lie back down. Adjust their legs. Stretch their arms again like itâs a show.
Like theyâre still alone.
Try to melt into the couch like nothingâs changed.
The second heartbeat gets louder.
Thump thump.
It echoes inside them. Their chest. Their ribs. Their throat.
Thump thump.
The couch vibrates beneath them, subtle but wrong, like the heartbeat belongs to something larger.
Phantom bolts upright again.
The hum in the air spikes.
Itâs not just static anymoreâitâs alive. Crawling down their spine. Swarming in their ears. Their head fills with bees, their mouth with cotton, their limbs wonât move right, too light, too heavyâ
A heartbeat that doesnât belong to them, echoing through their body like a drumbeat inside a coffin.
Wrong. Wrong. Everything is wrongâ
Thump thump.
Their pulse halts.
Silence.
Dead.
Heavy.
Listening.
Phantom canât breathe, canât blink. Can't form a coherent thought andâ
âHi,â says a voice. Soft, near their ear, like itâs inside their head.
Phantom screams.
It punches out of them full-body, instinctive, an edge-crack of real fear. They twist off the couch in a tangle of limbs and tail, a yelp leaving them half-shrieking, hands thrown up like they could ward off a ghost.
Cowbell is already there, unbothered and smiling.
He cocks his head.
âOh,â he says, gently. âYou donât like being scared anymore?â
He steps forward, slow.
â...I thought you liked games.â
Phantom swallows.
âYâyouââ they start, then stop. Clear their throat. Try again with more venom. âYouâre a dick.â
Cowbell raises his brows. âThatâs new.â
Phantom glares. Or tries to. They're stuttering around the edges, clutching the edge of the couch like it might anchor them, like itâs not still humming with leftover dread.
âI wasnâtâscared,â they mutter, entirely unconvincing, climbing onto the couch.
âOh no?â Cowbell steps forward. The wood floor creaks like a warning beneath him. âIs that why you screamed like a banshee and nearly kicked your own face?â
Phantom sits up straighter. Crosses their ankles. Crosses their arms. Immediately regrets both choices when their thighs twitch in aftershock and their arms press too close to their own chest, like theyâre trying to contain the static still buzzing in their bones.
âI was... startled,â they amend, sniffing like theyâve recovered. âNot the same thing.â
âAh. My mistake.â Cowbell tilts his head. Heâs smiling again. âBecause startled ghouls definitely vibrate like a sacrificial altar and curl up like theyâre waiting for the knife.â
Phantom flushes and is betrayed by their tail, curling up defensively between their ankles.
âI was relaxing,â they snap. âAlone. Until you decided to go full horror movie poltergeist about it.â
Their core still thrums from the fear, their limbs still twitchy, and the worst part is⊠they like it.
Cowbell hums. âDidnât hear you complaining when I was in your bones.â
âI wasn'tâ!â
They stop. Realize what theyâve said. Realize what it sounded like. Realize Cowbell is grinning.
âDonât,â they growl.
Cowbell raises both hands in mock surrender. âI didnât say anything.â
He looks at them a moment longer, lets the silence stretch, and then heâs on the prowl again.
The floor creaks again under his weight, a low, aching sound that makes Phantomâs tail twitch like a live wire.
They try not to react. Sit up straighter. Chin high. But their knees inch apart.
Cowbell stops at the edge of the couch, reaches without warning, and touches their elbow.
Just two fingers, light as a whisper.
Phantom jolts like he slapped them.
Cowbell hums, nose twitches. Once. Twice.
He smiles, leans in.
âYou liked it.â
Phantom freezes.
âYouâre still scared,â Cowbell says softly, his fingers dragging slowly up the line of their arm. âAnd you like it.â
Phantom shivers. Visibly. The kind that starts at the base of their spine and ripples outward like a pulse. Their breath catches on it, sharp and shallow.
âI wasnâtââ they try, voice cracking. âYou think Iâ?â
They donât get the chance to finish.
Cowbell moves like the inevitable. A shift of weight, a quiet creak, and thenâ
Heâs there.
Knees pressed into the couch cushions, bracketing Phantomâs thighs. One hand on the backrest behind their shoulder, the other still ghosting along their arm. The heat of him, his scent, that storm-rich soil, surges in all at once.
Phantom tilts their head back, wide-eyed, breath shallow. Trapped between the couch and Cowbell and the thrum still beating through their bones.
Cowbell leans in.
âSo pretty when you shake,â he says softly, almost sweet. His fingertips skate just beneath the hem of Phantomâs shirt, tracing heat against cool skin. âYou sure you werenât scared?â
Phantom swallows hard.
They don't answer. Canât, not with Cowbell this close, not with the air thick and wrong and his breath ghosting across their jaw.
Heâs barely even touching them, just that one hand, resting so casually on the couch back, fingers curled inches from their neck. The other one has stilled just under their sleeve, hot against their bicep.
But heâs everywhere.
In their space. In their blood. In the aching pulse between their legs.
âYouâre not running,â Cowbell murmurs.
His thumb strokes once, slow, against Phantomâs skin. A mimic of comfort. A warning.
âShould I?â Phantom breathes.Their voice is tight, throat clicking around the words. But they hold his gaze.
Cowbellâs eyes glint.
âMaybe,â he says, tilting his head the way a cat does before it pounces. âBut you wonât. Will you.â
He lets that hang. Lets it settle between them like a hand on the chest.
And then, soft like mercy wrapped in threat:
âGood little sparkplug.â
Phantom shudders.
The words land somewhere low in their belly, coiled and hot and shameful. They donât mean to react, but Cowbell notices.
He always does.
He hums like a lullaby might follow and, very slowly, reaches up with one hand to brush Phantomâs hair behind their ear.
Itâs a soft touch.
Too soft.
Phantom flinches with how tender it feels.
Cowbellâs knuckles graze their temple, drag featherlight down the slope of their cheek. Like heâs memorizing it. Like heâs checking for heat.
âYouâre shivering,â he says quietly, thumb tracing the corner of their jaw. âIs it because you're scared of the dark?â
Phantom opens their mouth.
Nothing comes out.
Cowbellâs smile sharpens.
He shifts closer, barelyâ enough that Phantom feels the heat of him, the press of his presence like itâs filling in the cracks where all their bravado used to live.
âNot so loud now, sparkplug,â he murmurs, thumb brushing under their chin. âDid I steal your voice? Or are you justââ his head tilts, nose twitching once more, ââtrying not to moan?â
Phantom tail flicks, then curls defensively. Their breath finally stumbles out in a hitch.
âYouâreââ They try again. Fail. Swallow. âYouâre in my space.â
Cowbellâs eyes flash.
âAm I?â he purrs, dragging the words out like smoke. âI think you like when I get close.â
Cowbell watches them squirm, expression unreadable. That quiet intensity, like heâs listening to more than their words. Like he can hear what their bones are trying not to say.
He leans in again, nose brushing their temple. Inhales. Hums.
âYou wanted an audience,â he murmurs.
Phantom shivers.
Cowbell doesn't pull away.
âCame out here and spread yourself across the couch like that,â he continues, voice low and warm and wrong. âYou wanted someone to look. To want.â
Phantomâs jaw tightens. Their tail coils, breath shallow.
âBut now youâre trembling,â Cowbell murmurs. âNow youâre shy.â
âLong day,â they grumble. âNeeded to unwind.â
Cowbell tilts his head. âMhm.â
He shifts again, stands over Phantom like he's considering an art exhibit, and then his hand are back. Tipping them, sliding them, draping them along the couch like they were when he first saw them.
Phantom's eyes flutter shut, fingers dipping low. They groan at what they find.
Cowbell drags his gaze down their body â lazy and thorough. Sees the tension under the bonelessness, the slick sheen between their thighs, the little tremor in their breath.
âSuch a sweet little mess, trying to be coy.â
He lays one hand on their knee. Presses it further open.
Phantomâs breath stutters.
Cowbell smiles.
âLet me take care of it.â
Cowbell doesnât wait for an answer.
He slides one hand up Phantomâs thigh, slow and warm. Like a lover might. Like a friend.
Phantomâs breath catches. Their knees fall wider without meaning to. Cowbellâs hand doesnât rush, it lingers. Palms broad, thumbs grazing like praise.
âYouâre running hot,â he murmurs, voice molasses-thick. âThought you were scared?â
âIâI amââ
He leans in. Lets his breath ghost across their throat.
âI know, sparkplug,â he says. âThatâs what makes it fun.â
He stays crouched beside the couch for a moment longer, just watching them breathe. Watches the way their chest rises. Watches the flush bloom across their throat.
Watches the wet shine of their cunt catch the lamplight.
He licks a fang and climbs between Phantomâs spread thighs like he belongs there, like heâs done this a hundred times and will do it a hundred more.
He leans over them, hand braced by their head, the other trailing up their inner thigh with the kind of patience that makes people cry.
Phantom moans â barely a sound, more of a leak of tension. Their tail curls against the couch, twitching once before flopping over.
Cowbell smirks, his fingers reach the edge of them.
âDon't you wanna feel it,â he murmurs, lips brushing the shell of their ear. âWhen the darkness is inside of you.â
They rest there, warm and maddening. Right over the slick heat, not pressing, not stroking. Like theyâre testing resistance. Like heâs reading a faultline.
Phantom squirms.
âBellââ
âShhh.â He dips his head and kisses their jaw, gentle as anything. âLet me.â
His fingers move.
One slow circle. Then another. A slide inward â two fingers, smooth and easy, because of course theyâre soaked for him already.
Phantom gasps. Their whole body arches in place, hips twitching like they canât decide whether to chase it or flee.
Cowbell chuckles low in his throat.
âThere you go,â he whispers. âLetâs see what youâve been hiding.â
Cowbellâs fingers slide in easy. Shamefully easy.
Phantom lets out a gasp and bites down on the back of their hand to keep it quiet. But itâs no use, the slick sound of him moving inside them gives everything away.
Cowbell exhales, low and reverent. âFuck. Youâre soft.â
His mouth brushes the corner of their jaw, smiling as he curls his fingers just so. Hunting for pressure points like heâs mapping their ruin.
âFelt you clench just now,â he murmurs. âYou like that? You like knowing someone could walk in and see what Iâve got my hand in?â
Phantom shudders. Doesnât answer. Canât.
Cowbell chuckles, deep and quiet, a sound meant for inside a body.
âDonât worry,â he whispers. âYou look so pretty like this, laid out and leaking. I bet no one would even be mad.â
His thumb ghosts up to stroke their clit â once, lightly. Phantom jerks. A broken noise spills out of them before they can catch it.
âMmhm,â Cowbell hums. âThereâs my little sparkplug.â
He fucks them slow, fingers curling with precision, patient as sin. No rush. Just steady, obscene pressure, designed to unravel them one breath at a time.
Phantom trembles. Their hands fist in the couch cushions. Theyâre panting now, open-mouthed and silent, like theyâve forgotten how to beg.
âPoor thing,â Cowbell croons. âWas it hard? All that waiting? You shouldâve just asked me. Everyone knows who you belong to.â
That does it â Phantom keens, hips twitching, thighs trying to close around him. But Cowbell just presses a hand to their belly and holds.
âUh-uh. Keep âem open. Can't hide now.â
His fingers speed up, just a little. Just enough to make it unbearable. The wet sounds get louder, lewder â echoing through the soft den lighting like a warning.
âYou hear that?â he whispers. âYouâre dripping down my wrist. Soaking the couch. Anyone walks in now, theyâll know exactly what Iâm doing to you.â
Phantom sobs.
Cowbell growls soft and low, the sound buzzing right against their jaw. âThatâs it,â he says. âGive it to me â
His fingers move slick and sure, spreading them open and watching their hole flutter around him.
Phantom whines, breathless and humiliated, but they donât close their legs. No, they lift their hips to meet him, a helpless little grind. Their body shivers, slick and open, trying to take more.
Cowbell lets them feel itâevery slip and clench, every shame-sweet tremble.
âThat's it,â he murmurs. âThereâs my good little sparkplug.â
Phantom whimpers, hips twitching under his hand. Their thighs are soaked. His wrist shines.
Theyâre close. Cowbell knows it.
Which is why he hears the creak of the door before Phantom does.
The swoosh of a hinge, the thump of a boot landing on wood.
Phantom goes rigid.
Cowbell doesnât stop. Doesnât even look.
He just turns his head slightly, voice rich and syrup-slow.
âYou let it in,â he says. âLet me fill you with it.â
Thump.
Cowbell curls his fingers right there, eyes bright as he watches Phantomâs screw shut.
Thump thump.
âNow your whole pack will know the dark got to you first.â






