#bellehooks

I have a love/hate relationship with Twitter. 

I never expected 140 characters written by everyone from close friends to strangers to be able to alter your energy in the way that it does. With the flick of a thumb, you can go from heated debates about politics to $200 dates in 2.5 seconds. 

I don’t remember how I stumbled upon Alex Elle, or even why I gravitated to her tweets like I did. She doesn’t say anything that you don’t already know, but the gimmick is that she has the balls to say them--draped in florid language of course, which makes for positive vibes. I contemplated reading a few of her books, but thought I might want to take a lesson from the author who obviously inspired her, bell hooks.

All signs pointed toward “All About Love: New Visions.” The affirmation to love opens its pages with a quote from Diane Ackerman: “As a society we are embarrassed by love. We treat it as if it were an obscenity. We reluctantly admit to it. Even saying the word makes us stumble and blush...” 

I could attest to this. I read during my morning and evening commute from work, and unconsciously found myself scurrying to put the book back in my bag without anyone catching a glimpse of the cover. I couldn’t have anyone seeing me read a book about love. There was a fear of embarrassment; People would think I was too consumed with it, or worst--maybe that I was unable to do it. Because after all, why would I be reading a book about love if I knew how it all worked?

5 Things “All About Love” Taught Me 

“Trust is the foundation of intimacy.” (Related: Jhene Aiko’s verse in “Post to Be”) 

“Dreaming that love will save us, solve all our problems, provide a steady state of bliss or security only keeps us stuck in wishful fantasy, undermining the real power of love--which is to transform us.”

“None of us can have things our way all the time.”

“To practice the art of loving we have to first choose love and be loving even if we do not know what that means.”

“One of the best guides to how to be self-loving is to give ourselves the love we are often dreaming about receiving from others.”