#beingtruthful

Today’s blog is about trust and honesty, simply put, they go together. If you have one, you will be the other. We should be able to trust and be trustworthy, in the same way we should be honest and trust others to be honest with us and that starts with our parents, with family.

Whatever spin we eventually put on our experiences we may go back to the same thought processes. But no matter the childhood, we need to consciously decide that if we are going to change history, we need to change ourselves.

Children trust, it’s the basis of their relationship with their parents, with their family. It is essential for their mental and emotional growth. Trust leads to a better childhood, to better adult relationships, better mental and emotional health, and increased empathy. When children trust they feel less anxious.

Honesty starts in childhood. Without trust there is little honesty. Children must be able to trust their parents. It’s an invisible thread, an unwritten bond that parents will put their child first. Trust is honesty, it is integrity, it is keeping your promise. It is letting your child know that no matter their needs, you will come through for them.

Trust is a component of honesty, it is the backbone to just about everything. In the eyes of a child, it’s being able to trust, to rely on what their parents say and to trust they will be honest.

Trust doesn’t always equal truth. When it comes to relationships, if someone doesn’t tell the truth and you’re having to read between the lines to work things out, there is no trust and it’s probably time to move on.

Just because someone says you can trust them, doesn’t mean you can. Trust issues happen because people are either conservative with the truth, or they lie. Trust is about goodwill, it’s telling the other person I care enough to tell you the truth, but that has to be reciprocated.

Where trust doesn’t equal truth, it’s time to rethink. Trust is the glue that holds relationships together. It is also the foundation that builds on relationships in the early days. We trust those who we believe have our best interests at heart.

For those who know there is a trust issue, they may have already worked out they’re scared to go it alone, so do nothing about it. When we have doubt, we will always question trust.

you know those days/nights where you can watch one of your favorite shows but also just somehow let your mind wander and end up thinking about the things you regret? the things you dislike, whether it be yourself or just stuff? 

for me it is one of those days/nights. Not going to lie, i had an awesome day, the thing is the other day i let myself admit i openly disliked an attribute, i also tend to wear baggier shirts because well they are comfy....i also have large shoulders but mostly the baggy part of the shirts is what came into play. i was looking into new gym clothes the other day and when i was handing back the stuff i was not going to purchase i mentioned i had not particularly liked the fitted capris. i only just said it out of habit since i’m used to chatting with those i’m shopping with to exchange “this is why i dislike it but i like it in other ways”, i don’t do it for everyone but i just felt like it at that moment......

the problem with my saying that wasn’t that i felt i wanted pity, far from it, the problem was that i was open about it..i somehow felt confident enough to say what i thought to a total stranger. throughout my entire life i have heard from my late grandparents on my moms side all about weight, weight, weight, weight. i have had body image issues and also dealt with anorexia at one point, the way i thought about things changed drastically around the age of 10 when my parents divorced and i just decided i was done. had it not been for my therapist at the time (i scared off about 6 maybe?) that had dealt with me, i would probably have sunken deeper and deeper into that abyss i had not just slipped into, but slipped and smacked my head on the way down. bounce bounce bounce. i have never fully liked how i looked, when i was younger i experimented with makeup and always loved dark blue eyeshadow, eyeliner, oh and lets not forget the extremely bright red lipstick- i was a mini clown <3. i was the only girl in my class of all boys in 5th grade and in 7th grade(or possibly 6th grade....hmm) i began questioning my being a girl. infact i turned to one of my bestest of friends to this day and said without skipping a beat “someday im going to have surgery to become a boy” i also said i wanted to dye my hair black and ne ne ne i did so. the comment about wanting surgery sent my friends jaw skyrocketing down, for years i was quiet about it. 

at this point you are probably annoyed and tired of reading this, thank you for continuing to read it is much appreciated. 

FINALLY at long last we come to the whole reason i posted this. the comment made at target by the woman, a total stranger when i told her i disliked how i looked in the fitted capris was this “oh well *leans over the counter and looks me up and down* well you aren't that fat”..............some people would be shut down, shot down like a bird from the sky being hit by a slingshot. it hurt, it hurt really really badly because of my history dealing with weight and such. my response was “oh no, im absolutely fine, i love my body and weight. i enjoy excercising(screw it im not worried about the spelling anymore) because it’s fun”. the woman simply replied “ooh oooook” and then i left.