#being24

Working on choral guide tracks for "Ave Maris Stella" by Trond Kverno....almost done editing, so I can move on to my next project..... #AveMarisStella #Trond_Kverno #TLP_Music #Working Cubase5 #lifeofamusician #music #Tim_Project #Choral_Guide_Tracks #home_studio #Cubase5 #Being24

#timtim #being24 #word_selfie

#selfie #being24 #timtim

#learnerslicense #passed #delayedpost #being24 #timtim #oldnews #February 🚗😁 🎉👌

Missing my crew.... #TheSkwaad💜 #PostBDayCelebration #chillin #beach #being24 #delayedpost

I think there comes a moment in your life when everything has come crashing down on you - every moment, every bad and good experience, eventually comes crashing down on you and makes you feel like you are completely lost in life. It makes you feel as if you have lost your identity and you aren't sure if who you were was good enough and you do not know how you will become the person you want to be. You think about the mistakes you made and the hurt you experienced and the things people said to you that you took too personally and overall the trauma you caused yourself to diminish any stable form of internal happiness. Did you ever read "Eat. Pray. Love"? Elizabeth Gilbert goes on this three month journey in order to re-discover herself by immersing herself in just what the title states: eating, praying, and loving. In the process she identifies what went wrong in her life, learns to forgive those that did wrong to her and those that she did wrong to, meets new people, develops a strong sense of spirituality that she never had before, falls in love, and heals. Unfortunately, I do not have the money nor the time to take out of work to do those things - therefore, I must go on a similar journey here in the real world and here on tumblr. I think I have hit small moments of despair and confusion multiple times in my life, but none has felt like this - which is why I'm describing it as mi quarter life crisis. Btw, I only chose the word my in Spanish because obviously the English word "my" was taken. But, it works because I am Hispanic. I think my quarter life crisis started when I graduated from college. When you realize that you have been going to school for the last 16 year of your life, working towards your ultimate self and this utmost highest goal of finding what your main calling is going to be, and then you attain it and you don't know what the fuck is going to happen from that moment on, is one of the scariest things ever. I graduated as a public health major, but had started out as a biology major with a mindset of becoming a doctor. The whole experience of having multiple failures in passing classes and determining that maybe this really wasn't meant for you, led me to my first time in therapy. My second time in therapy, was led to my inability to cope with the stresses of having full responsbility of a stressful job and other stupid things like crushes and again, school. My third time in therapy is now. I have been in therapy for 3 months now and although it has helped tremendously, I still feel like I have yet to fully set on to my journey of full healing. I have always been a person who has always tried to improve herself when things go rough. I'm an avid self-help reader and always make attempts at changing things for myself, but never make those concrete changes. Unfortuantely, I tend to not follow up with things unless I am forced to and I think it may have to do with the fact that I have always set myself up as failing even before I have even began. I am an optimist, but have always been plagued by my subconscious pessimism. I am an optomist for others - I have chosen a career as a counselor in hopes that others will make those concrete changes that I am unable to do myself. I have an ability to help others make those decisions and I pride myself in that, however in the end it will ultimately do me no good if I cannot follow it myself. Since I graduated in May, I've partied and drank my ass off - I've fallen head over heels for the wrong person - I let my friendships go into the shithole - my relationships with my family in the shithole - and even my career has suffered. Although I've been in therapy and have been trying to make changes and trying to figure things out, I am still finding myself feel like shit for the things that I say and ultimately regretting repeatedly the things that I've done - in order to make myself feel better - make my ego feel better. And so, by writing in this blog on my journey of full healing, I hope that you will find comfort as I will hopefully find comfort and less distress in my life.