#beijingdoll

Awww thank you!!! :)

you are gonna love my vid then: youtu.be/IGeeIZA…

He has been waiting since she left this morning.

He doesn’t think he will ever forget the way the brick feels under his jeans.

The front stairs of her townhome were as far as he’d gotten before he’d planted himself firmly on the top step; with his skill, he could already be in her livingroom, but such an act seemed almost a violation now. He doesn’t know where they stand anymore, not after what had been said - on both sides - and he needs to talk to her. There is a rift, ragged and sore, between them now, and its cause is what makes breathing hard, and his stomach to flop.

Christ, how much he’d fucked it all up again.

Again. That word has plagued him. He’d thought that sure, by now, he’d have some sense of what he should and shouldn’t do when it comes to his life, and her, but he’s shown once again to be inept at handling something so close to him as emotion. His own damn emotions, at that. She’d apologized quickly for what she’d said, but the words cut deep and quick; there was some truth to them, because she is incapable of holding back honesty, even in such a state.

So, here he sits.

And waits.

It strikes him that he has never really waited on a woman before. He’d never actually put another one truly before him, without expecting something in return. Truth be told, he isn't honestly expecting her to welcome him with open arms. He knows there is damage done, and the most he can hope for is for her to hear him out. He needs, desperately, for her to hear him, to hear the resolution he’d brought on himself.

No more maybes.

Many a person passed him, a few brushing by on their way in or out of the building, and all ignored him; he is too clean, too well dressed to be acutely loitering for no good reason. He assumes from their short glances they have surmised he’s locked out, perhaps with a dead phone, and is simply waiting for another to arrive. Not squarely on point, but close enough;  close enough that no one bothered to shoo him away, or threaten the law on him.

How fitting that would be.

He is broken from his slight musings by her, standing in front of him as though appearing from thin air. And she looks stunning. But there is something off about it; she is dressed to impress, but there is a melancholy to her that immediately has him rising to his feet. Her face is closed down, and there is a redness in her eyes that tells him she is trying to hide quite a lot.

God, he wants to hold her.

He hadn’t comforted her the way he should have before, and now here she is, and he gets the distinct impression she doesn’t want him to be within five feet of her, let alone touch her. She doesn’t say anything for a long moment, until he mumbles a “hello”, trying to get his bearings before launching into the speech he’s just forgotten entirely.

She doesn’t respond, instead opting to brush past him as so many had done before.

That stings, and though he understands it, the act prompts him to turn and reach for her arm.

She jumps away, startled, and faces him now with a look he paled from.

Before he can continue his broken thoughts, she firmly, softly tells him that she has taken the job. He doesn’t need to her elaborate, because there is only one possibility. His hand drifts away from her; it had remained unregistered in the air when she’d snapped from him. There is a finality to what she is telling him: I am moving on, I am taking steps to my future.

And you are not in it.

Such a short sentence, so few words, and yet he hears their entire conversation.

There is a squaring of her shoulders now, as if she is attempting to regain a sense of self, and he tastes something bitter as he watches, seeing this woman tear that rift even further. He wants to be angry with her, for not giving him at least a little time, but he knows that isn’t fair. It isn’t fair that she had waited for so long already, and he’d learnt nothing from that time. It isn’t fair all the things he’s asked of her, and then given so little of himself in turn.

Suddenly, there is no room to breathe in his lungs, and his chest feels as though iron bands are constricting closed.

That bitter, stale taste grows as she dips a hand into her purse, and meets his wavering stare. She is going to tell him goodbye, and there will never be a chance again for him to tell her all the things he needs to tell her. Once she says those words, that rift will be so deep that nothing will fill it, not even love.

That thought chokes him, and prevents him from cutting off that fateful word.

Goodbye.

She doesn’t follow it with his name, she simply turns and walks to her door, keys jangling as they are inserted into the lock. He should say something, anything; call her back, plead, beg like a starved man to a grocer, but he can’t. Because she is opening the door and disappearing inside, stepping out of his life and into one where she will no longer need to worry about income or unrequited love. That bitter taste nauseates him, and he forces back breakfast. He’d been left to gag on the love left in his breast, love that he’d thought he could give, but had been too unmitigatedly stupid to try.

The door closes behind her.

then their day will have 48 hours. 1. Trial with Laurel 2. Lance event with the Police 3. Oliver asks her out 4. Meeting at QC 5. Oliver/Dig in the lair. 6. KISS at the hospital. 7. Fel at the shop and Oliver multitasking 6. Lance hot date 7. DATE

I'll never get tired of posting this AWESOME picture of my boyfriend and Stephen Amell. Yeah, and I'm still choosing the one in orange :)

No, you are not crazy. They have a song, I noticed...

Rule 1: Always post the rules

Rule 2: Answer the question the tagger has set for you in their posts, and make 10 new ones.

Rule 3: Tag 10 people and link them in your post

Rule 4: Let them know you tagged them

Questions: asked by ouat-in-vampirediaries

Thanks for asking!

1. If you had to choose meeting one of the Avengers, who would you choose and why?

This is such a tough one, but Captain America I think.  He's the first avenger and saw a lot of history first-hand and to be able to hear stories about them would be cool.  Plus he's adorable in his ignorance in all things modern, lol.

2. What was your worst/best subject in high school?

Worst subject: physics, blegh.  Best subject: Literature and Chemistry

3. What is your current opinion about Justin Bieber?

Oh I have a lot to say about it but I feel like I've already exhausted everything I can say.  Point blank though, not a fan.  His voice, well, there's potential there I suppose, but everything else is completely unappealing. 

4. If you have a tattoo describe it and if you don’t then would you ever get one? If yes, then of what?

I don't have a tattoo, but I would like one.  Something around my wrist and hand most likely.  I'm very family-oriented so something sentimental like a family crest I'd design. 

5. Do you consider yourself a risk taker? Why or why not?

I guess not so much no.  I do have my moments where I appear brave in taking certain "risks" but overall I'm pretty cautious.  I haven't really had a moment where I needed to take a risk or felt as though something was potentially risky. 

6. If you were the opposite sex for a day, what would you do?

lol if I was a boy, well that would be interesting.  Maybe then I'd be more inclined to do something risky?  This is kind of tough.  What can I do as a boy that I can't as a girl?  Maybe I'd hack off my hair completely and not have to deal with having to dry it after a shower?  Completely boring, I know.  :P

7. What is your horoscope sign? 

I am a Gemini.

8. If you had to choose one of the element to control, what would it be?

Oooh I like this question.  I think air.  If anything went wrong at all, I'd manipulate the air and the wind to take me to safety and those around me if necessary. 

9. What was your favorite TV show as a kid?

I had TONS.  I loved the cartoon X-Men:Evolution so much.  I guess if I absolutely HAD to choose, that would be it.  Kim Possible, Power Rangers, That's So Raven, Lizzie McGuire, Even Stevens were among the many as well. I really could go on...

10. If you had your own reality TV show what would you name it?

Oh god, no one would ever want to watch this.  Unless they were looking to watch something to help them fall asleep...The Life and Times of a Daydreamer, maybe?

My Questions:

1) What was one of the most embarrassing moments in your life? 

2) What was the most painfully awkward encounter in your life?  Not necessarily embarrassing.

3) What is your favorite snack food?  Something you could just have an almost unlimited amount of?

4) What was the scariest story you've ever heard?  Doesn't have to be real, could be fictional.

5) Which fictional character (book, movie, TV Show, etc) would be closest to what you'd describe as your soul mate?

6) If you could be anything but a human, what would you be?

7) What is your favorite thing about winter?

8) What would you say is your best personality trait?

9) What is something people would be surprised to know about you?

10) Which would you choose: kit-kat, licorice, Hershey kisses, or Swedish fishes?

Tagging:

princesscaptainswan

blueberri304

klarolinedreamcatchers

wild-yumberry

beijingdoll

sammyslittlesaltgunner

catvampcrazines

untilkillymetemma

cities-alive

Rules: In a text post, list ten books that have stayed with you in some way. Don’t take but a few minutes, and don’t think too hard — they don’t have to be the “right” or “great” works, just the ones that have touched you. Tag ten friends, including me, so I’ll see your list. Make sure you let your friends know you’ve tagged them.

Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

 Remembrance by Jude Deveraux

You had me at hello by Mhairi McFarlane

Wallbanger by Alice Clayton

Flowers from the Storm by Laura Kinsale

Jemmima J by Jane Green

The Perfect Rake by Anne Gracie

Real by Katie Evans 

the whole Black Dagger Brotherhood series by JR Ward (don't care if that's cheating -12 books so far)