#before 25

You didn't see 25--

Before you died.

Your friends, your family,

Everyone cried.

LaTasha B.

Every year, almost every moment, we learn something new through experience or observation. The older we get, history states that it's better to be the wiser. I read a quote somewhere once that said "the only way you can sleep at night, is to be prepared or to be ignorant". I like sleeping and most of the time I stay up because of how unprepared I am. Don't we just want to get to the point in our lives when we are carefree yet prepared for the eye of the storm. Ignorance may be bliss but knowledge can be a life saver. So in lieu of these ideals, I've comprised a list of twenty-five divvied up over five days inspired by my own experiences and moments that surround people in my life; things every young lady aspiring to be a strong, independent or well prepared member of Earth needs to know.

Don't be afraid to love yourself. 

 First and foremost, love yourself even if the rest don't follow. If there are things you don't like about yourself physically or emotionally, you gotta figure out what it is about these things that make you look so sad in the mirror. Come on...cheer up. People have the strangest sense of smell....many of them call smell self-pity and insecurity and some even feed off of the absence of self love. These you should stay very far away from. But those people aside, love yourself for yourself. Confidence is one of the most attractive and amazing attributes a human being can exude...and the most sincerest forms of confidence derives from having pride in one's self. When you begin to love the who that you are, you can carry on with life with a brighter and wider perspective.

When it comes to sex, don't be naive. Be safe and be smart. 

If you are a sexually active female, you cannot assume the responsibility of safe sex rests with the man or your partner. Be it hormonal birth control, condoms, abstinence, or general knowledge, safe sex isn't just about unwanted pregnancies and its consequences, but health. And no matter what form of intercourse you make partake in, safety first. Have knowledge about sexually transmitted disease and birth control devices. I never too a sexual education course in high school, and I'm very uneducated when it comes to certain sexual subjects that my peers, even my sister, are way more knowledgeable about. I would cringe at the idea of teachers showing pictures of diseased genitalia, or running from a friend who was making fun of my aversion to a banana dressed in a condom (he was chancing me around the Student's center at our university), but honestly, you gotta learn those things sometimes....might as well learn them before you're 25. I also learned from Miss Candace Walsh that if a man shows you how he can aim the camera on his shelf at his bed, it probably won't be the best idea to sleep with him. You don't necessarily have to be the best judge of character, but know yourself and assess whatever situations you're getting into. If you like being propped on top of bathroom sinks, just drinking beers with that crush of yours, playing with real handcuffs, or diving into a one night stand....always have a plan: Be it an exit plan or a Plan B.

How to deal with car troubles. 

Unless you live in a city with more than exceptional public transportation services, you're probably going to have a car by the time you are 25. Having your own automobile opens up this world of freedom and adventure and a heck ton of responsibility: from maintenance, defensive driving, and avoiding DUIs and DWIs. When it comes to owning and driving a car around wherever, it's best to not be afraid to drive, have some idea what things do, what to do if something goes wrong, respect your car, and respect other people who drive. Every car has a unique personality; my dad's car is a prima-donna, underservingly so, but still...she does believe she's hot shit, V4 engine and all. She doesn't have a tricky odometer (device used to measure mileage); the fuel gauge usually reports an approximate level of gas that doesn't leave me guessing; and she seems to not like me driving her. Every one should know what side of the car the gas tank is on, and how to pump gas...and these things are best learned hands on. The first time I ever pumped gas, my friend asked me to do it for her. I was frightened, standing there at the first pump station at some shady petrol store. But it was a nice feeling, experiencing something I gotta know regardless if I'm ever going to own a car or not. But more complicated than that, every woman should know how to jump start a car. That is super important. You don't necessarily need to have jumper cables in your car, even though that would be mighty handy, but just having the knowledge to help yourself if someone shows up with cables is more than useful. Here's a video that details how to jump start a car. It's a little tricky, with a few when and where's to remember, but when you get it you've got it. Also, know the basics the traffic and pedestrian laws wherever you live: whether talking on cell phones is legal or not, accepted blood/alcohol levels, where to park or stand, etc. Every woman should have a general idea and means to change a tire and plug up a tire leak ; if not, at least have one dependable person you can call who can come to your assistance. And for the more frugal quarter-life, knowing the automobile's fluids and how to check them (do you know what steering fluid looks like), would be pretty handy. Don't forget the dipstick! Gotta have back up plans in case any of these things go wrong. But when it comes to owning cars, pay attention to the warning lights, be responsible, don't be afraid to question something, and have a general knowledge--youtube is a friend.

Never sell yourself short. 

You may think you're not worth anything (don't do that by the way), but no one has the right to tell you how much you are worth if you have every right to something. Fight for what you believe you truly deserve. Be honest with yourself and your strengths. Whether in relationships, at work, or most aspects of life: if you deserve better go for it. Never try to convince yourself otherwise because it will hurt, or it will be hard, but honestly, you never know. I've spent a great deal of my life selling myself short for beans that never grew into a beanstalk, but as a woman coming up into the world, I know that if I deserve something I gotta go and get it. We all deserve to be happy, so why give up on that?

Life is short. Enjoy it.