Red is always an ubiquitous color once fall rolls around, and since this is traditionally the time when fall wardrobes are purchased, more and more red items are hitting the market. And I... I hate red! I know, since red is such a popular color most people will find that statement odd. To be more specific, I’m okay with red as an accent color, but I hate it in clothing. And I’m talking about RED red, true fire engine red. Oxblood I can do, I like it okay. Maroon is fine. Primary red can get on outta here. Since I feel this way about red, you may realize this means it will almost NEVER get featured here. So, I decided to make a whole red post for all the red-lovers out there. It’s interesting for me, since I’m ignoring the color of a garment (usually a huge factor in how I feel about it) and focusing entirely on silhouette, fabric, details, etc. Prepare yourselves for the red.

Asos Curve Ultimate Mini Embroidered Smock Dress

I have my doubts about the wording of this listing, mainly because this is a drop-waist dress, not so much a smock dress, so how can it be the ULTIMATE smock dress? But I love a good drop waist dress, I love embroidery, and the ruffles and bell sleeves are cute as hell. If this dress wasn’t eye-searingly red, I might even consider buying it.

Society Plus York Plaid Pull On Skinny Pant

Stretchy pull-on pants that are both comfy AND work appropriate? Yes please! Bright red accents in the mostly gray plaid? NOPE. Any other color, and these pants would go straight into my work wardrobe. Sorry, red. On another note, I am loving this top (besides the red) but can’t find it anywhere on Society Plus. Trust me, everyone, I would link it if I could. (PS these pants are on sale AND an extra 20% off right now, so run for them if you like them).

Simply Be High Neck Ruffle Blouse

I think this blouse would be a good alternative to the one pictured on the Society Plus site to pair with those pants, if you were truly dedicated to the red look. I love billowy sleeves, and the ruffled high neck. In fact, ruffles in general have grown on me a lot in the past couple of months. Not only is this a lovely top, but it comes in a color besides red! It’s navy, so not my favorite color to wear, but still better than red. Is it cheating if I pick something that actually does come in a second color? Who cares, I’m the one who made up this game.

Target Plus Ruffle Tie Neck Midi Dress

Could this dress be any more twee and cute? Yes! If it wasn’t red. The color may be listed as “rust,” but that’s just a fancy way of saying red! Still, it’s got that perfect fall look with the pussy bow, the pleating, the ruffles, the contrast polka dot pattern, the sheer poofy sleeves. I would wear something like this pretty much anywhere. It doesn’t appear to be a midi length on the model pictured, but she’s 5′10″ so it’d definitely hit me below the knee.

Target Who What Wear Plus Floral Bomber Jacket

I may be featuring Target twice, but that’s because I wanted to include a jacket in this post, and this one is glorious. This also comes in another color, but it’s a different pattern as well so I won’t count that. And it may be listed as orange, but this picture is red as hell (I’ve also seen this in person and it’s very red). I absolutely love a bold floral and a patterned bomber, and the contrasting cuffs are just perfect in my book. I would absolutely adore this in a mint green or a pink.

It’s me! Yes, I am here. And I felt like wearing purple. Lilac, specifically, and I went as monochromatic as possible. I loooove monochromatic looks but I rarely wear them because they tend to be a bold statement and I don’t generally like people staring at me in public. But I decided to give it a go today! I just bought this dress from Rainbow in their big summer clearance sale, so I decided to debut it boldly. I tend to go minimal with accessories these days, and I think it was the right choice here. Emphasize the purple.

Sadly, Rainbow no longer has this specific dress on their site (though I only bought it a few days ago so it’s probably still in-store), and the other items have been in my wardrobe a long time. Here are some similar items:

Bunny Ears Backpack via Ebay

Heart-Shaped Floral Sunglasses via Ebay

Mock-Neck Textured T-Shirt Dress from Rainbow

Sleeveless Maxi-Dress from Rainbow

I hope the sheer trend never ends. I LOVE sheer, and have been collecting sheer pieces for a number of years. They bring me such joy. Maybe it’s the joy of showing my body to the world and causing stink faces. While I do get more stink faces with my sheer items than anything else, I also get more compliments from human beings who understand how not to be terrible. So it’s really a win/win! Plus it’s summer. If everyone else can walk around practically nude, then so can I!

Fashion to Figure Gia Mesh Pants

There are so many things to like about these pants. They are basically useless, completely non-functional as far as pants go. But that is true of all sheer items, and that’s why I like them so much. Not to mention these are bell bottoms, which are only in fashion for 5 seconds at a time every 4 years. Did I mention they’re listed as swim cover-ups? It’s so over the top, I want them. AND they’re on sale right now, so time to pounce.

Asos Curve Mesh Top with Peplum and Sequins

And what better top to wear with your black mesh bell bottoms than this hot pink mesh sequined top? This looks like something Lisa Frank’s founder wore to go clubbing and snort coke in NYC back in the 90s, and I absolutely love it. Honestly, is there any occasion I would not wear this top to? Nah. I would wear this top to my sister-in-law’s baby shower. I would wear it on a roller coaster. I would walk into the ocean wearing this top, never to return.

Eloquii Studio Lace Flounce Top

This is what I would call “office appropriate sheer.” It’s lovely, it’s got this interesting lace pattern, and you could layer it over a sleeveless button-down, pair it with trousers, and you’re good to go. Unless you work in an office with a very conservative dress code, but then you’re probably making a lot more money than I do so we all have our sacrifices to make.

Pink Clove Mesh Insert Split Back Tunic

Here’s something a little more covered, as far as sheer goes. Pro: you don’t have to figure out what to put under it. Also pro: it still shows your bra straps. Sometimes I just like to put on something basic and athleisure-looking, and this fills that niche while also providing a little interest with the sheer detail.

Ashley Stewart Mesh Tiger Patch Kimono

With 4th of July, the most America of all Americadays coming up, I thought I would do a theme post celebrating the most American of fabrics, denim. I could say a bunch of political stuff, or express some pseudo-patriotic sentiments, but nah. Let’s look at some denim.

ASOS CURVE Denim One Shoulder Ruffle Top With Choker Detail

I know I keep posting a lot of Asos, but it’s having a moment for me. I mean... Look at all the weird things they keep selling. Look at this monstrosity! I want it to fly into my window at night, take my blood, and force me to join its ruffly legions. They even styled it on more denim. Even the model’s pose is an odd drunk lean. I love everything about this image and this top.

ASOS CURVE Denim Jacket in Washed Pink

And this acid wash pink denim jacket, with that broad-shouldered 80s silhouette. What is not to love about this? I will never love again. This jacket has ruined me for all other jackets.

Ava & Viv Women's Plus Size Embroidered Denim Midi Shorts

These are some solid denim shorts. They hit all my shorts requirements: light wash, actually short, trendy details (cut-off and some lovely pink floral embroidery). They may not inspire me to ramble like the other two examples, but to be perfectly honest, they’re the most likely to actually end up on my body in July. I mean, come on. July is hot as hell.

Rainbow Shops Plus Size Off the Shoulder Denim Dress with Crochet Overlay

All I want is access to as much twee, pale-colored, embroidered crap as I can afford. Maybe my tastes don’t reflect the majority of consumers’, but the kind of clothing I described is all over storefronts and websites of companies selling straight size clothing. I walk through a store filled with floral embroidery, bright pastels, cool color-blocking, and enter the plus size section to find the same 5 colors that have been shoved down my throat for the past three years. Black, white, gray, that weird brown clay color, and the season’s favorite: dusty rose. I’m sick of dusty rose. Let’s get some true pastel pink in the mix again. You know what’s everywhere, except plus size stores, right now? Baby blue. Bring it to me, plus size retailers. It is SPRING. I don’t want my florals looking like some black and oxblood fall mess. I want to look like Easter threw up on me! Sadly, it looks like plus size retailers are failing us in providing the most basic of spring trends. In case you weren’t paying attention, that’s pastels and florals that don’t look like they belong on a personified pumpkin spice latte.

Let us now get positive: here are some of the rare plus items available now that actually look like they belong in Spring/Summer 2017. 

Ashley Nell Tipton x JCPenney Floral Motorcycle Jacket

Alice & You Cactus Patch Shirt

Society+ Whimsy Bow Skirt - Blush

ASOS Curve Sweat Dress

ASOS Curve Embroidered Cold Shoulder Dress