So I'm playing Dragon Age II and yeah, I'm finding it a little frustrating (the identikit locations, having to be -urgh- human, Fenris, the linear storyline etc etc), but the one thing I'm enjoying is the companions and partly that's because I can't help but to associate some of them with real life friends. I really can't unsee Aveline and Isabela as Bedlam and Vice, to the extent that I can't handle the concept that the characters are the same height. Religiously tolerant warrior in practical armor and for someone in such a position of authority, weirdly fine with her friends being such chaotic nightmares to the peace and quiet of Kirkwall; and an incorrigibly flirtatious pirate with the moral compass of the group. I'm also pretty sure that Vice could easily conceal 15 knives about her person no problem. And I'm absolutive certain that both Aveline and Isabela understand the necessity of Coping Mead. Also why are all the elves northern Irish now? Except Merrill, who's unaccountably Valleys. I don't get it.
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"Some book-learnt folklorists have recently taken to saying there were few genuine cowboy folk songs, that most so-called cowboy songs were the work of educated poets or were mere imitations of popular songs…many cowboy songs are reworkings of older ballads…
To my mind these critics have merely pointed to the fact that the West was a cultural melting pot…That this evocative and self-consistent body of oral literature could have been created in thirty or forty years (for the open range period lasted only from 1865 to 1900) and under constantly changing conditions, is a marvelous example of how quickly a folk culture can grow up when it is needed."
—Alan Lomax, Folk Songs of America, 1960
Having a lot of feelings right now about folk music and remix culture and American-ness right now, but most especially "how quickly a folk culture can grow up when it is needed"
2. bedlamsbox is a national treasure, who has had an exceptionally rough year, and we are geographically too far apart to hug, which is such bullshit.
3. A few days ago, I commissioned Nisie to draw Frank and Sadie Doyle the way Bedlam and I headcanon them, which is essentially as a fabulous 1940's-ish lesbian couple. (In Beyond Belief, Frank Doyle is played—delightfully—by Paul F Tompkins, but whatever, you will pry genderqueer!Frank from our cold dead hands.) It turned out so great you guys! Look! Look! Their outfits, their FACES, that stylish as hell fern in the corner! SO FAB. (see #1 above. ETA: checked with Nisie and she is still taking commissions! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED, YOU GUYS.)
Anyway, this is from a long-lost episode, in which Dracula shows up at the Doyle residence intent on drinking their blood. He's all "Fear me, Doyles, I am Count Dracula!"
And Frank and Sadie look at each other, confused. "Sadie, do we know a Count Dracula?" says Frank.
"Your petty games will not work on me, mortals!" says Dracula with a theatrical whirl of his cape. "I am the prince of darkness, I am a creature of the damned, I am—"
"Ooh," says Sadie, "let's guess who he is!"
"You know who I am," says Dracula. "In your worst nightmares, I am there! I am—"
"Ah ah!" Frank chides him. "Let the lady guess."
Sadie screws up her face in concentration. "Are…you…a mummy?" She tries. "A poltergeist? A swamp creature?"
And the Doyles should be the world's easiest prey; they're unarmed and both visibly drunk, but they won't admit they know he's Dracula and it offends his sense of pride to the point where he keeps stopping with his fangs an inch from their necks, because most of the episode is just Sadie listing monsters, and like:
"Are you a merman!" says Sadie.
Dracula rolls his eyes. "Okay, seriously?"Â
"Answer the question!" Frank yells, pointing dramatically.
"Are you a wolfman?" Sadie guesses. "A catman? A mouse…man?"Â
"No!" says Dracula, beginning to sound a little petulant. "Come on!"
"Are you an annoyance?" Frank asks. "I'll give you a hint—"
"Fine, I'll give YOU a hint," says Dracula. "I have a giant black cape—"
Sadie considers this. "Are you a superhero?"
"And giant sharp fangs—"
"Ooh!" Frank calls from the direction of the nearest liquor cabinet. "Have you asked if he's a wolfman yet?"
"And I can change into a mist—"
"Are you…precipitation?" Frank frowns. "Doesn't sound all that frightening, I'll be honest. 'Ooh, here comes Count Dracula, let's put on a light jacket!'"
"And I can fly—"
"Wait!" Sadie shouts triumphantly. "ARE YOU A PEGASUS!"
Dracula buries his face in his hands.
Frank sidles up to him. "You know, old boy," Frank whispers. "The fact that you haven't answered her question is a little suspicious."
"I can't take it anymore!" Dracula snaps. "You're all mad!" And with a poof of red vapor, he floats out the window.
"Might've mentioned it was a blood mist he turned into," says Frank. "Would've narrowed things down."
"Seemed like a nice fellow," says Sadie.
"Whoever he was," Frank agrees.
"Not my favorite fellow, of course," Sadie adds with a smile.
"Oh?" says Frank, stepping closer. "What's your favorite fellow like?"
"Gin," says Sadie. "Anyway, my favorite fellow is the most dashing individual you can imagine. Devilishly good-looking, charming, clever, nice suits, talks to ghosts, wears an ascot, enjoys auctions, has fought demons, is currently refilling my drink like a dear—"
Frank looks up from pouring the bottle. "Well, sounds like you have excellent taste. Would this fellow of yours by any chance be the luckiest fellow in the world? Due to having the world's best wife?"
"I could give you one more hint," says Sadie, "but Frankly, I think you've figured it out already. WINK." She winks.
"Well," says Frank, "I've got a pretty good guess."Â
Coming up on the one-year anniversary of that time my friends convinced me to break my lease instead of continuing to live with a Craigslist roommate who made me feel unsafe.
Friendly reminder: if someone ever physically intimidates you until you're cowering against your fridge, then asks for a hug, then gets visibly angry when you stammer out a no thanks, you owe this person absolutely nothing. Burn your bridges and get the hell out of Dodge.
Don't wait for panic attacks and stolen food and finding out he's been in your room while you were at work.
It's okay to make your mental health a higher priority than a stranger's feelings.
If you do wind up having dating feelings for him, but he's not into it, do you really want to waste your time on someone who is clearly not smart enough to be into you given the opportunity of reciprocation?
One of the the nicest things ever said to me by my friend Bedlam.Â
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