#becomes this

He flipped his hand to interlock their fingers. “There wouldn’t be anyone else,” he insisted, his voice raw with emotion. “And I know it’s not what you would want, but I’m selfish when it comes to you. I’m stupid, rash, and impulsive.”

Adrien knew she was probably right. Regardless, they’d made a promise. If one went, so did the other. He’d probably feel too bad about hurting someone innocent and would cry and drink himself to death. Adrien never seemed to learn from his mistakes. His jaw locked and he wanted to ask her again what she would do if he died. She’d said before she’d kill herself, but should he tell her to move on and be happy? Adrien didn’t know if he could do that. 

Despite his tense posture, her touch immediately relaxed him. He tilted his head back and blinked once, twice, to clear away the hot tears before clearing his throat. “It’s not you, it’s me, right?” He didn’t mean to have such a mocking tone when he said it, but he was growing tired of the constant push and pull. “ His hands dropped to cover her smaller ones where she held him; he squeezed gently. “You are that great,” he whispered. “And I hate that you can’t see that. I don’t want to hold you back anymore. Maybe we should just take a break? We’ll divide patrol nights and that will give you some space. It just...” he squeezed her hands a little tighter. “It hurts seeing you so much and knowing I can’t have you,” he admitted.

~~~

He closed his eyes and tilted his head down. Just like that? She was fine with them breaking up? Is that what they were even doing? He fiddled with the fat square on his Miraculous. His insecurities were taking hold of him. He knew that she was just giving him what he wanted. (Oh, the irony. He wanted space and she willingly gave that.) “I’ll take Tuesdays and Thursdays. I’ll have to let you know about weekends,” his voice was tight. Chat knew she probably wanted him to at least look at her before he left, but he couldn’t face her right now. He was a burden to her and selfish. He should have just sucked it up and been content with her friendship, but he wanted more than she was willing to give.