#beastshift

Get fucking real. Your not special. Your begging to be something your not is sickening and pathetic. Your not above anyone and you have found no enlightenment more than looking up at the sky and realizing its blue.

Your a human with a non human identity? Some sort of attempt at otherness. An alienation that separates you from the truth. If we are all created then what sick joke to make otherkin and therians.

I saw people posting their experiences and I can't sleep so why not. My shifts typically take about 2-3 hours to complete. They are often painful because they aren't controlled well. I've heard from M his aren't the worst. Mine feel blinding. Definitely don't like it.

My mental focus get's hazed over a bit almost like I was on maybe acid? my patterns and associations change a bit as my new senses come into play. I usually get to see the fur get thicker my arms and feel my snout form. It's oddly tingly and sensitive it can leave you feeling very vulnerable.

My memory goes blank after a point. Then I come to after it's done. Usually feels like I took a restful nap (hopefully) sometimes I come back with splitting headaches or I feel distressed. It depends on what happened.

I shifted a few nights ago. For a longer than normal this time. It lasted almost two days and I wouldn't eat much not even meat. Something must be wrong with me. But I don't know what. I feel ill in my core. Sick to my soul even. I wish I could fix it. I'm afraid i'll shift and waste away in bed. Like a chronic disease, almost reminds me of heartbreak but worse. The pain is unbelievable. I haven't seen M and J lately. They've been gone for a day or so now. They didn't leave a note. I hope they're ok. I might give them a call tomorrow just to be sure.

I woke up on the coach lol. My partner M said I went off through the cedar forest and they had to track me down. I was getting close to crossing our barbed wire that would have been bad but luckily they reined me in.

I have so many bruises and cuts it didn't go well for me. An ordeal and a half i'd say.

I begin to wish I was like M. I want consistent shifts I can actually remember. I want that power and control but have never been able to actually harness it. I'm green with envy. I wish I had even an ounce of that level of steadiness that guides him so powerfully well.

I am seeking out a coyote to bring down as the center piece to invoke survival and cunning wits, adaptability. Mountain laurel and datura are my first choices as I'm having some trouble harvesting cactus this season.

Ideally i'd like hawk feathers burned to ash to be used in a tincture with the laurel and datura. Eventually made into a paste carefully applied to skin. Have to be careful about dosage.

J was very excited about things as per usual. He brought me a boar tusk he got second hand from a flea market. Very nice. I'm adding it to my collection.

Were all gonna go get subway. Not the most iconic werewolf core thing ever but hey it tastes good.

We think a pair of grey foxes have entered into our home site. Which is exciting as I do enjoy their barks. We already have a few pairs now. I am a little worried with them coming close to public roads.

M shifted last night during the fullmoon. Went off and hunted. He said he wasn't hungry anymore and managed to snag a raccoon. Good for him.

misc asks ;; always accepting