#beansprouts34

hi! ehh tbh not so good since i didn't really like hoseok's new album 😔 i think it has some good songs but overall i can't get excited about it and share that joy w the rest of his fans but it's ok. I'm still looking forward to lollapalooza and to see him do promo for the album (if he does any)

but other than that work has been tough and super busy these weeks so that makes me stressed out and i end up not enjoying my time there even though i like my job. i guess i was really looking forward to hobi's album making it easier for me to have fun and distract myself but sadly that's not the case.....

HDKSJDKDJF BEAN OMG THAT WAS SO INCREDIBLE!!!!! THANK YOU SM I TRULY CAN'T BELIEVE THIS REALLY HAPPENED 😭😭😭😭

and this was a translation of bibi's official ig post on it:

I’m not entirely sure how to feel…when I first heard, it was..well exactly as the anon said - it feels weird when people from our country of origin talk who don’t live here talk about racism for us here. Yes they (BTS) have been working here, and more so recently, but they don’t and haven’t lived here. It’s a very different experience, especially during/with the pandemic when asian hate crimes/microaggressions/racism rose, to live here or grow up here. So at first, I felt a mixed bag of things - confusion, discomfort, and then tried to get a little excited?

I think Sandra Oh (or maybe it was someone else, I can’t remember) pointed out that growing up as the minority is such a different experience and that we’ll never know otherwise. Never know what it’s like to not have to think about how we look or act or who we are because we didn’t grow up with the majority of people looking like us or sharing a culture with us or speaking a same language/sharing a mother tongue. It’s first, or starts as, a very subconscious thing and then, personally, it felt devastating and sad to realize that and have to contend with everything that it entails. And a point anon brought up that’s important is that it’s not just growing up here, but also minorities that live here, which BTS do not. 

Day to day, it’s a different life experience. It’s exhuasting to have to sit uncomfortable in your own skin. And be stared at cause you have different skin. And then be asked questions about ‘what are you’ and ‘what’s your nationality’ and called ‘exotic’, etc, etc. And then, there’s the little pockets we have to carve out for ourselves and fill with our culture, language, etc. 

(sorry I really delved away from the topic here, but my point is that the small day to day things shape your life and identity and views. And racism, hate crimes, microagressions, etc just pile on top of that and shrink me. 

And another big point is that no doubt that BTS experience racism, they’ve had death threats made against them, and the way they’ve been treated and asked questions and talked to by some interviewers in the US is abymsal, and none of this is to minimize how awful that is and how it affects them. it’s just a different experience as an asian American that I’m not sure this is the right space for them. (and they don’t fit everywhere, no one does) 

Talking about experiences, like yesterday, I had to watch kids from a nearby school marching about how they should have been safe and saying ’no to guns and violence’ - like that comes from this American gun culture that they, BTS, don’t have to contend with or live with (geographically) in the same way)

Anyways, then I sorta tried to make myself get excited cause in the spaces I’ve seen so far, that’s the general feel of this announcement - that people are excited/proud of this upcoming meeting and discussion. Cause it does say something that this is the administration/president they are coming to see and be associated with and to a certain degree, BTS are apolitical. Or actually, rather they work in vagueries that pull in a wider range of people. Cause I think when you have broad messages, less people are offended. And more projections on them can be made that fit our own ideals because they just haven’t given specificities. So who we want them to be fits under that big umbrella. And however this administration is, they’re still associated with a party and certain liberal ideals/values that maybe BTS are ‘aligning’ with. (I say ‘aligning with’ very loosely) (hope I didn’t ramble too much here and it makes a little sense)

All that said, it’s also just my initial reaction and thoughts for an announcement. I’m (obviously) waiting to see what it’ll end up being when they talk next week. And maybe it’ll be a show of support and not to talk over asian american (AANHPI) experiences here (though to show support, do they have to come to the white house and have a ‘discussion’ about it themselves? Idk honestly…) So, further thoughts and feelings I’m trying to reserve until what they actually talk about and present is done. Hoping it isn’t talking over people (minorities) in the US...

Yeah, it’s just only how I feel. (Also, I didn’t go back and re-read or edit this, so hopefully my thoughts (and excessive as hell use of parentheses) weren’t too confusing.) Thanks again to the anons and you Ana for asking, for making some space.

absolutely thankful for your insight right here bean (i always call u bean omg is that ok?) this is very helpful for me and i hope it'll help my followers understand the nuisance of this situation better

hi bean!! ah this is so sweet thank you sm for this message <33 it really means a lot when ppl enjoy my playlists. i take them very seriously hdkdjdjfj and also yes i really did have a hard time making a coherent narrative that fit both lyrically and melodically for the songs so that's why i ended up dividing it in two sides....just fyi side 2 is much more experimental and w hard noisy beats lmao. but i hope you like it

hiii what's up thanks for checking in!! i'm alright just super busy at the moment with real life stuff. i had a work trip out of the country that got cut short because my grandmother passed away this week. i've been having too many things to attend to so that's why i've been inactive but tbh i don't feel like being active here much either :/ all the bts shit going on makes me more annoyed than anything - as always make sure to follow me on my other blog where i'm way more active if any of you feel like it! @theboytatu