Heretofore unforeseen hazard of parenting:
I sung Bean a song about the poop he did four hours ago and the song's been stuck in my head ever since
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Heretofore unforeseen hazard of parenting:
I sung Bean a song about the poop he did four hours ago and the song's been stuck in my head ever since

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My son is lying on a playmat, kicking his legs and batting occasionally at a colourful lion hanging above his head. He's learning more right now than I learned in entire university courses. I wish I could experience the world the way he is
Me, cooing at Sprout in motherese: Guess what? It's time for your acute water torture!* That's right! It's water torture time! Let's go have some water torture!
*bath time
As it turns out, newborn babies go through a phase of looking like balding muddle aged men
In particular, Bean looks like the EMH from Voyager, and Sprout looks like Vizzini from The Princess Bride
Note to self: Huggies newborn diapers leak like hell no matter what you do

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congratulations on parenthood 💖 how are you feeling?
Thank you 💖💖 I'm feeling tired obviously, and tbh a little anxious/upset bc I'm not making enough milk for them, so I have to pump a lot and they're mainly getting formula rn. Fortunately, aside from two incidents of crying over utter nonsense, the baby blues haven't hit much, and the kids are perking up and spending more time awake and looking at things. It's wonderful to see. My dad says it's like being with Buzz Aldrin on the moon, exploring a whole new world, and it really is like that
Achievement unlocked: made it to day fourteen of parenthood before being pooped on 👍
First tummy time for Sprout had to be delayed due to Smokey deciding the playmat was For Him Actually, but was ultimately successful
First tummy time for Bean had to be cancelled entirely due to Spontaneous Napping