OR OR when they show up to Terry's house in episode 10 and he pulls out his sword Chozen just

This is probably going to sound ridiculous. And hey, it’s fine! It totally is, but I want to share this with people because I’ve been laughing about it for days.

So, I was #TeamTharja. Whether you love her or hater her, she’s a popular character! And feathers, whoo boy, it’s not always easy to get feathers. Or it is, but I want LOTS of feathers at all times. So I set myself up for the gauntlet, and I put Ike in my left slot so I could battle with Ike all the time.

And then I kept losing gauntlet battles because I kept getting paired with other red units. It was ridiculous. At one point, it was three red swordsmen against two Tharjas and a Linde. I never stood a chance. Frustrated, I realized I should just switch to Catria. Catria is an amazing unit. “I’m not as good as my sisters but...” is what she says, but girl is lyin’. She can tank for days.

So thirty minutes pass, and lo and behold, I’m paired with my friend’s Eliwood, and now that our color balance is more normal, I win! Lots of points for the Tharja. Another thirty minutes pass, and I’m paired with Eliwood again. Haha, okay. Sure. And again. And against Julia, paired with Eliwood. Catria and Eliwood and a guest star in every battle. It turns out, only two of my friends were team Tharja, but with the game being the game it paired me with Eliwood 90% of the time.

And then I started to text my friend (beamkatanachronicles) about it. Taking screenshots of Eliwood and Catria at full health about to kill the third unit in the arena battle (poor Karel).  Catria swooped into defeat Ikes in one turn. Eliwood lured Ninos closer and then slaughtered them mercilessly. Eventually, my Catria showed up in her castle, and we both joked about how she was clearly just there to see her Eliwood. We started losing battles when the game started pairing us with other friends, which we decided was because Eliwood and Catria were heartbroken and couldn’t perform at full capacity.

And sure enough, slowly but surely, these jokes turned into actual shipping. Fire Emblem: Heroes, the only mobile game I play because Phones Are Hard, has led me to cross-canon shipping Catria, who has plenty of beautiful ships, with Eliwood, who also has plenty of beautiful ships. I plan on potentially writing said ship after I play Echoes. I am invested in this ship. So is my friend.

THIS KILLS THE MAN SKSFFKJAHHHH

so by one-off, I’m going to assume you mean anyone who wasn’t the main baddie and wasn’t affected by the Power of Friendship, and I’m also going to assume that whatever quirk they were introduced with don’t count cause THAT’S CHEATING

I’m picking miu miu because everyone loves to forget her (oho)… iirc one of the best random one-off observations made upon miu miu’s intro is she has the air of someone who probably was from a well-to-do family and while it’s a nice hint that there’s Something Else going on with her character beyond what’s immediately apparent, I’m gonna run with that statement and guess she’s probably got some Oddly Specific quirks that wouldn’t necessarily be typical of a green dolphin street prison girl

she probably lays out all of her shitty eating utensils out in very specific ways and knows all the rules for the Proper Positioning of cup-handle-to-self for the sludge coffee, all whilst generally scowling at everything with her fushia eyeshadow up to her brow bone whilst totting around in that outrageous  H O T DELICIOUS BEEPBOOP skirt. pinky out.