#be:first

BE:FIRST x ATEEZ ‘HUSH-HUSH’

I'm not sure I could summarize an entire experience. But I'm going to try.

Last night was my first SB19 concert ever and it's my second concert in my entire life. And it was such an amazing experience, even with all the heat and humidity and the imperfections that happened. One of these mistakes was when Josh's inner ear (I thought it was the mic when I saw it) messed up and it caused him to mess up his line in "Visa". I was so concerned and cared more about his safety (even though rationally I knew they were professionals). I'm glad they were able to quickly solve it and he had no issues for the rest of the night. I was fortunate enough to experience this with one of my closest friends from college. She considers herself a new A'tin because it's only this year that she finally listened to their music. While we couldn't really see anything from our spot (we were at the back section of VIP) the live vocals and the large screen made up for it. During times when it was my personal favorite songs like "Mana" I stood on my chair and carefully danced to their live vocals. I lived and danced in the moment and even from afar their performance and arrangement was cool, epic, and stunning. Whenever we would stand up and party (like in the Bazinga-Crimzone mashup) everyone was jumping and enthusiastic. Cashual Chuck mentioned in his review that during that part, he literally felt the ground shake. I personally didn't feel it but then again my friend and I were also jumping and dancing. I also shed alot of tears during the emotional moments. Especially when mahalima implied that they were scared that when the day comes when they will no longer be performing, they wonder if the A'tin will still be there and if that day may come sooner rather than later. It's a sobering reality that these men who are in my age bracket (Stell and I are the same age) are now also slowly transitioning into a life wherein they won't be performing as much so that they can begin to have families of their own (or at least more private lives than what they currently have). Perhaps this is why when they finally sang "Wakas" it hits a lot harder than usual. Everything will one day end. My life, the human race (hopefully later rather than sooner), the earth itself, even things on the internet aren't as permanent as people claim it is. And out of all the things that could have happened, I was given the opportunity to hear them live. Maybe the reason why I didn't mind not recording many of their performances was because I know that even a fancam of their concert is nothing compared to savoring their vocals live. Despite how difficult the world is and how difficult my own struggles are, SB19 reminded me that there's hope and to not give up on my dreams.