#be perceived

They couldn't believe it. It couldn't be them. How long have they been here for?

John raised a hand to their cheek, their rosary wrapped around their wrist dangling heavily. The thing in the mirror can't be them.

Ough let's see.... for both of them the simplified answer is It's Complicated™️. I'll elaborate.

Atlas: Nemesis kind of wrung out their sense of self like a wet towel that was used to wipe up a puddle of congealed blood. Through it all, their determination to learn remained, and that they are absolutely living up to. Beyond that... I think after all was said and done, they're almost afraid to have concrete ideals due to how much of themself they betrayed. They're just trying to be kind and heal, really. The former is a general success, jury is still out on the latter.

Thomas: Due to her Arc, her ideals have massively shifted, but in a general sense they went from doing what she could to mitigate her parents' harm- which wasn't much- to actively dismantling what the ultra-rich have done to the ultra-poor. She can't imagine attaining an ideal self, but she's always made an effort to at least pursue her goals. She's still in the "throw money wherever she can" part of that but she'll eventually figure out the underlying politics of things and her ideals will definitely get more, shall we say, Revolutionary.

This took me days of thinking to answer and while it's a great question it's also something I really need to ponder. If anything else occurs to me there's a non-zero chance I'll add to this post at some point in the future.

Thanks for the ask :D

38. What is the most recurring theme in your OC's nightmares?

The deaths of their loved ones 100%. Oftentimes it's mixed with some other Horrors they've experienced like Cardinal's Honey, but the murder of their brother is kinda the backdrop of most of what their subconscious conjures.

50. How does your OC die, eventually?

Honestly I've been juggling a few ideas for Atlas' official "ending", but in the one that I think about the most often they get their hands on some Cider, return to the Surface (which is ultimately their Destiny), and live as a quasi-immortal for awhile. When they decide they're done they'll just stop drinking Cider. Not sure if they'll fade and die or instantly turn to dust due to the Sun but one of those.

Hello :D

😘 Who kisses the other first thing in the morning, morning breath & all?

Thomas, without a doubt. She can never resist.

🌿 Do they want kids/pets/plants together? What do they name them?

The thought of having kids terrifies them and neither is available enough to take care of a child or a pet. But they do actually have plants! Atlas has a patch of roof in the Flit where he grows Neathly flowers as a member of the True Horticultural Society, and Thomas accompanies him when she can. He also has a small collection of alien plants gifted by @t6fs' Scrimshander a long while ago that he takes loving care of. He uses one of them as a primary source of caffeine.

HELLO

2. How easy is it for your character to laugh?

This depends on whom he's with, really. In general/in public/around strangers, it isn't easy at all. Unless someone comes up with an exceptionally witty pun or makes a strange obscure history joke, he's rather humorless. Even in those "everyone is laughing at something so you feel obligated to join them so as to not stick out" situations he doesn't fake laugh. I'm actually not even sure if he knows how to fake laugh.

Around partners and close friends, though? It's very easy. He'll give a flattered laugh if complemented, or a delighted one when surprised, or an amused/exasperated one at a dad joke and partner antics. His heart is very light around people whose love can distract him from his troubles, if briefly.

7. What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

Anything and everything. Looking up at the Roof? Nostalgia for the Sky and true stars. Hanging out with the True Horticultural Society? Nostalgia for Surface flowers. Trading with spun silk?

"Who gathered the cocoons in the sunlight, how far, how long ago? The Neath-roof arcs above. All is quiet. No silk-worms here below: no mulberries, no Sun."

This is one of the first things I saved to the Journal and was the basis of Atlas' character today.

He does not enjoy the feeling. Nostalgia is very much intertwined with despair for him, but now there's also a small thread of hope after Irem, after getting "The World" as a Destiny. It's possible to gain it all back.

34. How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt?

Very. He feels guilty about something or other at almost all times, and there's plenty to feel guilty about. He'll never be over his brother's murder and the ceaseless wondering if he could've done something, anything. His black ribbon marking him as a Bringer of Death feels heavy whenever he puts it on. He killed an immense swath of Great Game players once, anonymously, and now his mouth goes dry whenever he does dealings with them. He has many, many shadows.

Thanks for the ask :D

13. What is something your OC does (to others) that they would not like if others did to them? Are they aware that they do this?

for Atlas and Thomas ?

! NEMESIS SPOILERS !

TWs for addiction and parental emotional abuse

Ohoho you got me really thinking with these.

12.

This is a hard one. If you asked Atlas this directly they'd say the murder of their brother without hesitation. And it did deeply affect them in a way that will never fade, it's what brought them to the Neath (and thus caused Several of their disabilities), caused their haemophobia, and traumatized them permanently.

But coming from me it's tied between that, getting addicted to laudanum, sampling Cardinal's Honey, and Théo asking who they were after he was resurrected. All of the effects in these cases were mental but devastating. They're clean from laudanum but now have minor brain damage and will never be free of thinking about it, wanting it; also the withdrawal symptoms were absolutely hellish. Cardinal's Honey gave them crippling phobias of enclosed spaces and darkness (although New Newgate and Evolution already got that process going). Realizing Théo doesn't remember them threw them into a relapse, and made them realize that they'll never ever escape their grief.

For Thomas, I can only say her parents- mostly because she's never had a stand-out terrible thing happen that wasn't directly caused by them. Although using the same cause-and-effect logic as I did with Théo's murder and Atlas, I'd probably say either getting demanded for her soul for the first time, or watching her parents order the social destruction and soul removal of her first partner as retaliation for refusing to give it. The former solidified the fact that she wasn't a member of a family, she was an asset, and she'd never know peace (or so she thought). The latter made her realize that nobody close to her was safe- social destruction doesn't sound like much, but she was fully raised and caged in the Society bubble, so it killed any hope for her of seeing them again and ruined their life.

For both of them, from a purely physical standpoint: Atlas falling from St Fiacre's and landing on a stone gargoyle before falling the rest of the way to the ground. Thomas getting shot and killed by a gun. Both cause chronic pain of varying degrees. Both hurt so bad in the moment that despite being writers and bookworms, neither will ever be able to find the proper words.

13.

3. If your OC could revisit their childhood, what would they want to change about it, if anything at all?

Ough let's see.... Interpreting the question as a kind of "become a kid again with current knowledge" situation:

I don't think Atlas would want to change much beyond savoring every moment they can. Their childhood was far from a perfect one, but memory issues + Surface longing means it's now a weird pocket of idealized sunny nostalgia in their mind that they couldn't imagine significantly altering, you know? They'd spend more time with Théo though, that's for certain.

Thomas would rather die than go back to hers.