#bdazzled

"what's the problem?" — @bdazzled.

❛ uh - uh. wrong question to ask. ❜

see, that would imply the existence of . . . well, a problem. singular. the actual fact is there are a multitude, hence the mayday call, and why i've shown up unannounced. or at least very, very, very last minute announced. same difference.

❛ if i have to mark one more paper that says gravity is a gas, or do one more parents' meeting where a mom can't help but dote on her tasmanian devil of a kid, i— i'm going to lose it. ❜ and his tone is matter of fact, an upturn at the end of his sentence and palms raised up as if to clear all guilt from his name. as if to say what will be will be. maybe there's more than meets the eye to his strife, perhaps problems not quite so superficial as children being children, but for ryland grace of all people to resort to company must be quite the concern. it helps that they're not particularly close nor is brooke affiliated with any mutual friends : and taking some time off to go to the big apple is always a welcome change. he is frenetic, unable to stay still, hand scratching the back of his head restlessly.

why does she have to be such a saint ? switching shifts with the night manager is such a bad move for her energy levels. she's never been much of a sleep during the day kind of girl, but she'd totally wasted sunlight trying to be one today. the man barely asks for anything. ever. & while she'd love to live up to her potential of becoming the inn bitch, she'd granted him the emergency day shift, meaning she gets stuck with the boring, soul killing end of the deal. this place is dead & her shift hasn't even officially started. though she should be grateful. any problems that arise during the night are always so much worse than what she's used to. needless to say, there is a jumbo coffee in her hand.

but just when her world could not be looking any bleaker, a familiar beam of light in adorable shoes walks in. " miss davis, you're out late. " she perks up almost immediately, playfully indignant. " well, that depends... how will you be paying ? "

Synchronix by MADDspace- Singapore’s Top Youth Show Choir | Rockabye and Shape of You Mash-Up | B-Dazzled 2k17

Voice Instructor: Mr John Khoo

“do you want me to stay? it doesn’t have to mean anything.” — @bdazzled.

he’s hugging his knees when she gets there, temple pressed against the window as he watches the world go by without him. cars ambling onto their destinations, to families or lovers or friend circles or any combination of the three. holiday seasons of any kind always raise an ugly lump in his throat, colleagues sharing plans of their celebrations and in turn asking him what he’s up to.

i can only fumble around so many false answers before i get tired of lying. i took the time off, easy to do as a teacher when all the kids are equally busied, but with limited options as to what to do with it, i’ve found myself in the big apple. again.

when he reaches his usual dingy stay, he second guesses himself. it’s not fair to take her away from whatever she’s got planned ( she’s a busy gal, he knows this ) and with the mood he’s in, he’s only going to be a downer anyways. a string of texts is sent in a borderline fugue state, claiming a flu is taking him out and bigging up the details to really push the nail in that he’s not fit to see her.

[ TXT ] sorry to cancel last minute, but you really don’t wanna be catching this. have a great time, speak soon 🫂

the finality of his last message hopefully drives it home, but what he doesn’t anticipate is her desire to help regardless. she talks about bringing medication and fluids and soup and all those good remedies and he insists he’ll be fine and staves off the questions, until she eventually relents. or so he thought.

when he sees her striding through the motel’s parking lot with supplies in hand, he panics. he’s fit as a fiddle and moments away from being caught in the web of lies he’s fabricated. ryland briefly considers not answering the door and feigning a deep sick - laden sleep, but she spots him at the window before he can put this plan in action and waves peppily, and he hisses ‘ shit ‘ under his breath as he stumbles through the unkempt room to find something, anything that might make this better.

the jig is up rather quickly once he lets her in, bashfully keeping his eyes on the ground and sinking into that cold feet feeling he’s been having all day. his excuses are mumbled from the corners of his mouth rather than uttered with any sort of confidence, and really he just looks . . . small. when her offer comes, it’s laced with such a careful softness he could burst into tears, won’t burst into tears, and he can’t bring himself to outright push her away. loneliness covers him like a shroud and a small light is shone his way, if only he’s brave enough to look into it.

finally kissing the person you've been pining for. — @bdazzled.

❛ you know, i'm really going to miss you. term time's a scam. ❜ they're waiting idly for his flight gate to be announced, his lackluster rucksack full of possessions jostling as he hugs her tight. sometimes he recalls how he had frowned at her arm linking through his, a breach of a fence he had hastily put up and failed to inspect for faults. now touch is freewheeling, linked arms the least of their worries amidst feet in laps, heads on shoulders, hair tucked behind ears and smudges wiped from corners of smiles. how much, she queries into his shoulder and he pulls away enough to look at her but not enough to fully detach. ❛ how much ? ❜ he parrots with a laugh, incredulous.

i don't really know how to respond. how long is a piece of string ? i can joke all i like about vitamin b deficiency, but becoming an early bird for a girl on the other side of the country is a new low. brooke has become a constant where she was initially only a side effect of a much needed escape, infiltrated and wormed her way into my life so seamlessly i hadn't realised until i was spending all my free weeks seeing her. those countdowns until the next vacation time had been filled with dread once, but now . . .

her arched brow raise speaks only of listening patiently for a response, but nothing will do. no words can acclimate to the feeling that swells with her smile, her eyes fixed on his and waiting, holding him charmingly captive. she's so close, her perfume intoxicating and her breath wisping against his jaw, sending tingling prickles of something unknown and daring down his spine. ryland has to will himself to look away from her lips, barely plush and parted, but when he reaches her eyes again he sees the telltale flit of her gaze back up, too.

here goes nothing, he might have thought if it was remotely a conscious decision, but really it's barely a closing of a few inches, an answer to her question that he can't think about too hard or it'll dissolve into nothing, concentrate diluting in water until the next time he sees her. they are on the precipice of him leaving and starting this strange fluctuation of feelings he doesn't know how to process all over again, and maybe this is a mistake that'll leave him never returning, but here goes nothing.

maya isn't particularly precious about her hair. in fact, brooke's hands don't do anything to it that the wind hasn't already done a million times over while she was riding her skateboard. but it's the principle – just because she doesn't care if her hair gets messed up doesn't mean she doesn't care how it happens. she doesn't move to fix any strands of hair, but looks brooke's way instead with a mix of confusion & intensity reading one thing : what could've possibly possessed you to do that ? " alright, here's the deal... " maya finally pipes up after a moment, running a single hand through blonde locks – it still looks messy, but now it's her style of messy. much better. " you stop doing that, like- forever. & we go get you a dog or somethin' so you can take out your cuteness aggression, or whatever the hell that was, on it. sound good ? "

HEADCANON QUESTIONS. ACCEPTING.

when did they feel the safest?

ryland has always been a ‘safe’ person, opting for the path with least resistance and risk. he’s lived a fairly safe, isolated, and sheltered life so danger isn’t exactly something he’s been exposed to or had concerns about. that being said, the biodome on erid presents a strange sense of fulfilment particularly in the wake of the near - death experience that was the launch and ensuing project. he has a newfound value and appreciation for safety which is no longer taken for granted, and while his initial arrival was rocky ( he was incredibly malnourished from the journey, needed the eridians to develop the biodome and successfully replicate both nutrition and atmosphere for him ) when things stabilise he trusts the situation implicitly. perhaps naively but he has put a lot of faith in rocky from the very beginning and given what they’ve been through it is a welcome change to have a home, a place to be himself and do what he loves and have some sense of freedom, ironically given his limited area of traversal.