Sam and Rhodey- AU. Our friends are flirting at a bar, and we’re the wingmen so we’re talking and oh god— where did our friends go???
Rhodey rolls his eyes as Tony slides up next to the guy - Mr.Tall, Dark, and Scowly - and waves at the bartender for another round.
Another roundfor himself. Rhodey gives two minutes before Mr. Scowlychases Tony away, and while Tony will need another drink before scouting outthe next target, Rhodey will need another drink to deal with that.
Tony had beenthe one to drag Rhodey to the bar under the clause to find someone for Rhodey, but Rhodey doesn’t mind. Rhodey likes to find people at his ownpace, and Tony’s picks always have a touch more dramatic flair than Rhodeylikes for himself.
“Let me guess,the other one is yours,” a man says, sliding onto the stool next to him andnodding over to where Tony is chatting the guy (who now scowls less, at least.It must be going well).
“Oh no. Youtoo?” Rhodey asks, and gestures for the bartender to refill his new friend’sglass as well.
“Yup, me too.Had to drag his ass out of his apartment, but look at him now. Baby bird isgetting his wings back,” the man teases. The man’s grin is soft, though, andfond in a way that Rhodey recognizes keenly from his friendship with Tony.Rhodey trusts his ability to read people, and he decides that he likes thisman.
“James Rhodes,”he says, holding a hand out for introduction. “Call me Rhodey.”
“Sam Wilson,”Sam replies with a smile, taking Rhodey’s hand. “Most people just call me by myfirst name.”
Sam’s friendturns out to be James Barnes (who goes by Bucky, but Sam wants to know what isso wrong with the name James?). They spend a few minutes talking shit abouttheir friend and what Bucky and Tony get up to, but then the conversationshifts to themselves. Rhodey is pleased with his character assessment when allSam does is raise his eyebrows and snort when Rhodey tells him that Bucky ischatting up Tony Stark, before he asks Rhodey what he’s doing inBrooklyn.
“Slumming it,”is Rhodey’s response, enjoying the way that Sam squawks in protest.
Turns out thatthey both have the Air Force in common, though Rhodey is only on leave whileSam left the pararescue service after his co-pilot went down. It’s a bit of aheavy topic for a first meeting, so they swerve away to finding out if theyhave friends in common or have been stationed together. Rhodey outranks Sam bylike a lot, and Sam tosses “Another drink for the Lieutenant Colonel over here,please!” at the bartender that Sam pays for himself.
“You too, man,”Rhodey says, signaling for another drink for Sam. “Didn’t you learn anything inservice? Have to outdrink your superiors!”
They swap a fewmore military stories and talk about Sam’s job at the VA. They talk about whatBrooklyn used to be, about how Sam is handling the move from D.C., about placesthey’ve been and places they want to go.
Then thebartender is calling last call, and Rhodey looks down at his watch.
“Oh, wow. Damn,look at the time,” Sam says, pulling out his phone.
Rhodey looksaround for Tony, frowning when he doesn’t see Tony or Sam’s friend Bucky.Rhodey checks his phone, and sees a text.
Nice catch,buddy. Use protection and get his number! I’ll distract the friend. Work yourmagic. XOXO
Rhodey shakeshis head at Tony’s text. Rhodey looks up to see Sam realizing that they’ve beenditched.
“Got time forone last round?” Rhodey asks, wrapping his fingers around his almost-finishedglass of beer so he doesn’t give away his nervous tick by tapping them on thetable.
Sam smiles, wideand easy. “Yeah, I got the time. Got to admit though, I’m hoping I at least gotyour number, too.”
Rhodey grins ashe waves for one last round. “The number you have. If there’s anything else youwant, you better bring your A-game.”
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“This was a fantastic idea, wasn’t it?” Tony asks as he settles back against the rim of the tub.
“Yes, Tony, it was a fantastic idea. You can stop reminding me now,” Steve drawls as he lays back against Tony’s chest. Steve slinks down, the water level at his chin, but he gets to rest his head back against Tony’s chest so he doesn’t mind. “But if you splash me in the face right now, this will stop being fun,” he warns, though he suspects he’d be able to tell if Tony moved to splash him.
The hot water - staying hot thanks to the insulation Tony had put in - keeps his muscles relaxed. Tony had already given him a back massage, which had felt wonderful, and now the water keeps them soothed.
It had been a long week, with Avenging and PR and paperwork, and a hot bath had sounded too good to pass up. Especially if a wet naked Tony Stark was going to join him.
Tony is a genius.
“Would I do that?” Tony asks with mock offense.
Steve tips his head back to see Tony’s grin, just because the visual is nice. “Be a brat just because you can? Yes,” Steve replies.
Tony slides a hand down Steve’s chest. “Now, now. Keep that up and this bath won’t have a happy ending.”
“It’s already good,” Steve acknowledges as he settles back against Tony. He’s almost drowsy, with the heat from the water and Tony pressed up behind him. Tony’s hands skate up and down Steve’s chest, his sides, his thighs. It feels good, just to sit here. It feels good to unwind and not worry about anything.
“Don’t fall asleep in here, or you might drown before I can lug you out,” Tony teases.
“I could go for some CPR right now,” Steve says with a smile.
Tony chuckles. “Okay, that was terrible,” he says. He kisses the top of Steve’s head anyway. “But really, I’m pruning here. You done yet?”
“Nope,” Steve replies. “You’re stuck here until I’m good and ready, so just relax.”
Tony groans, but settles back into the tub. Steve smiles and breathes, enjoying the warmth in his bones and Tony at his back.
1000% inspired by @trashcanakin’s gorgeous stuckony moodboard that I think I need 100 iterations of so here’s to #1?
Tony paces. He had tried sitting still, but he couldn’t manage it. His paws had scrabbled at the ground, his body thrumming with restless energy, and the pacing helps him think that he’s doing something even if he’s still simply waiting.
Waiting for Steve, but really waiting for Bucky. Waiting to meet Bucky and see if they can coexist. Waiting to see what happens next, with Tony and Steve and now Bucky.
Waiting is not Tony’s strong suit, especially waiting in wolf form as Steve had asked. Tony paces and paces and paces, unable to work on his projects or think too-complex thoughts, thanks to his wolf form. Maybe Tony could shift back to his human form for a bit and work on something productive, and then shift back to wolf? But Steve had said that he would be coming soon, with Bucky, and Tony doesn’t want to be human when Bucky is here because Steve asked him not to be.
Bucky hadn’t shifted since HYDRA, the more vulnerable human form staying dormant while the powerful wolf experienced the threats from the world. Wolf to wolf communication was easier than wolf to human, and so Steve and now Tony would remain shifted in their wolf forms as well until Bucky became accustomed to the area.
Tony paces again, and then sniffs the air. The wet and cold spring stings his nostrils, but there - that’s Steve’s scent! Tony plops down and sits, ordering his paws to stop twitching.
Tony waits.
He sees Bucky first. Bucky’s white fur, tinged with gray, is easy to spot coming through the dense trees of upstate New York. Then there’s Steve at Bucky’s side, the golden brown fur blending better into the scenery.
(Read More)
Bucky is big, his shoulders the same height at Steve’s, except Bucky is skinny. Too skinny, and Tony bets that HYDRA kept Bucky on the edge of starvation, kept him hungry and weak until they needed their wolf.
Tony stops his growl, in case Bucky hears and thinks it’s directed at him. This will be difficult enough without that kind of first impression.
Tony waits, and the pair get closer. Steve lets out a yip of joy - slightly restrained, and Tony hopes that’s only for Bucky’s sake than because Steve isn’t very excited to see him - at seeing Tony again, and Tony returns it.
Bucky shadows Steve silently.
Tony’s tail wags - a bad habit he has yet to curb because Steve told him once that it was cute - as Steve gets closer. It’s been days since Tony has seen him.
Steve pads up to Tony and licks his muzzle. Tony whines, mostly faking it, and Steve huffs before rubbing his face against the fur on Tony’s neck.
Kissing leads to better, more fun reunions, but again wolf forms.
Bucky keeps his distance, hanging back. Tony evaluates him, and again notes how skinny Bucky is. How still Bucky stands. How Bucky’s tail doesn’t wag, how his head doesn’t move, how his muscles don’t relax.
If Bucky is equally nervous to meet Tony, he doesn’t show it. Bucky shows nothing, and Tony wonders if he’s happy or angry or simply indifferent that Steve went and picked up an omega in Bucky’s absence.
Ideal bonds are a triad, one each of an alpha, beta, and omega. Bucky had been the beta to Steve’s alphas since the beginning, even before the serum when Steve would’ve simply been an alpha runt. They’d shared omegas back then, too, but ones who were only interested in Bucky and not at all in Steve and so they hadn’t lasted.
Tony though… Tony is an omega, and one that had been with Steve since the Battle of New York. If the meeting goes well, then maybe Steve, Bucky, and Tony build a stable traid bond. If the meeting doesn’t go well, then…
“We’ll deal with that if it happens,” is all Steve had said.
Tony knows how that ends, though, and it isn’t happily.
He wants this to work with Bucky, even if Bucky stares at Tony without any emotion.
Tony steps forward, shouldering past Steve. Steve emits a warning back, but steps back. They can’t talk in these forms - probably another reason that Bucky prefers it - but there are still some things they can communicate.
Tony knows his black fur is sleek, healthy, and gorgeous. It would look pretty pressed up against Bucky’s white fur, but Bucky doesn’t give any indication that he’s thinking along Tony’s lines as Tony pads up to him.
Tony sits in front of Bucky. Tony is smaller, shorter by a few hands widths, but Bucky doesn’t lower his head to meet Tony’s gaze. Bucky’s gaze flicks to Steve instead, and Steve steps closer.
The problem is that Tony doesn’t like being ignored. He darts forward and nips the bottom of Bucky’s jaw, too sure that he won’t manage to score if he tries all the way for Bucky’s neck.
Bucky snarls, scrambling back and lowering his head in defense.
Steve leaps forward and gets in between them, snarling at Tony.
Tony dances back, but his tag is wailing and tongue lolls out. How Bucky managed it, he doesn’t know. Is it a HYDRA trick? Because Bucky’s scent is faint, but Tony darting in for that nip meant he got a noseful of it and it’s delicious.
Tony’s more on board with making this work, then. He could’ve faked wanting Bucky, was absolutely prepared to do so, but with that scent… there are some old traditions that Tony trusts, and scents is one of them. Baseline humans don’t have that level of screening, but with the wolf… Tony had never met someone who he liked that smelled terrible (and he had tried, for science).
Bucky had smelled good, and now Tony wants more.
Tony starts to circle and Bucky matches Tony’s movements, with Steve moving back and forth and howling in between them. Steve is upset at what looks to be the beginning of a fight, but Tony can’t resist. He has to poke and prod and see what Bucky is made of - it’s how Tony had reacted to each of the Avengers, snarling in challenge.
Steve has the supersoldier serum and can easily overpower Tony. Rumor has it that Bucky has a version of the serum as well, and so will probably win the fight. But Tony doesn’t have to win the fight, he just has to be fast.
Tony turns and darts around Steve, dodging Steve’s jaws that try to close in on Tony’s scruff. Bucky dodges Tony’s attacking nip, going back for the jaw, but Tony had expected that. Tony turns again, whaps Bucky’s muzzle with his tail, and then runs.
Tony howls out his challenge as he races through the trees.
It’s a stupid tradition, Tony will absolutely admit it, but it’s one that Tony is good at and one that Bucky would’ve done countless times back in his time. Omegas were supposed to be fast, to lead their alpha and beta partners on a merry chase that got blood pumping and adrenaline flowing. Alphas were supposed to be strong, fighters to protect their omega partners. Betas, like Bucky, were supposed to be both, able to catch their quick omega and hold their own in a fight against their alpha.
Steve hadn’t said that Tony couldn’t challenge Bucky to a traditional run, but that’s probably because Steve hadn’t expected Tony to do it. Steve and Tony had worked out their issues in their human forms, and why would they waste their time on a traditional run when it was much more fun to go hunting together?
Bucky’s howl, deep and rough, rises up in answer and accepting the challenge.
Tony reaches for another burst of speed, tongue lolling. The tradition is still stupid due to its stereotypes, of course, but Tony had forgotten it could also be fun.
Tony runs, enjoying the wind in his fur and the dirt under his paws. It had been to long since he’d run just to run, and while it would’ve been nice to have Steve at his side… Tony realizes he likes being chased.
Eventually Bucky would catch up, if only because Bucky has a version of the serum, and should be able to outrun Tony. If Tony is caught too quick, than traditionally it makes him an unworthy omega partner. But who says Tony has to run in a straight line?
Tony doubles back a few times to leave multiple scent trails that Bucky will have to figure out. He splashes along a river bed, water overflowing, to disguise his tracks and scent in the water. He scrambles up any boulder or fallen tree he sees so he can leap in a new direction, breaking up his trail and making it more difficult to follow.
Still… it really had been too long since Tony had run. He’s a little out of shape - or maybe he’s been running for longer than he thinks - and so he slows down to a jog. He listens, ears twitching, for any sounds, but other than birds and one rabbit that runs terrified from his presence, there’s nothing.
Tony pants for breath and is pleased with himself for outrunning an enhanced wolf for so long.
He slips from a jog to a walk, keeping aware of anything that might indicate that Bucky was catching up. Still, he had expected the attack to come from behind him.
There’s no sound, no movement, and then all of a sudden there’s white fur in front of Tony’s face. Bucky is just suddenly there, and Tony tries to dance back out of reach but Bucky tackles him with a snarl.
Tony hits the ground with a yelp of pain, and then he’s pinned on his back with Bucky on top of him. Bucky snarls and then closes Tony’s throat in his jaws, teeth digging in. Tony quiets, his blood pounding. He has time enough for the thought of what if Bucky doesn’t let go, before Bucky squeezes tighter.
Then Bucky lets go and raises his head, letting out a triumphant howl. Bucky plops down then, his several hundred pounds of weight keeping Tony pinned, and starts licking Tony’s muzzle.
Tony goes pliant, panting happily. Clearly he and Bucky get along just fine, and they’ll be able to form a stable triad bond with Steve, and maybe there will be talk of pups in the future, and… and Tony will have to figure out how to get this past Pepper, who as a baseline human doesn’t quite understand the speed at which wolves can settle down with partners, but Steve will help with that.
Steve, who comes crashing through the trees right at them.
Bucky perks up, and Tony hears a thump that might be Bucky’s tail hitting the ground in excitement, but Steve growls. Tony whines, confused, while Bucky remains rigid above him.
Steve approaches, slower now, looking from Bucky to Tony and back again.
Tony yips in welcome, paws waving, and then licks Bucky’s face to regain attention.
Bucky doesn’t move, just looks at Steve.
Steve shifts. The serum enhances Steve’s speed here, too, and so in two blinks Steve goes from a wolf to a man, kneeling naked on the ground.
“I didn’t want to pressure you, Buck,” Steve pants, eyes wide. “I’m sorry, I didn’t… I just got you back, if you need time… please don’t go.”
Tony stills, guilt swamping him. Perhaps he had moved too fast, even for wolfs. He shifts as well, since Steve broke the rule around remaining a wolf to not pressure Bucky. Tony had already done that times ten, anyway.
It takes Tony closer to five full breathes to shift completely. His muscles shift, his bones reform, and his hair recedes until he’s human being crushed by Bucky’s white wolf.
“Shit,” Tony sighs. “I just… thought it would loosen us up. Be some fun,” he says, but Steve’s watery gaze means that Steve didn’t think the same. “Sorry,” he tosses up at Bucky, patting Bucky’s side where his hand can reach.
Then Bucky starts to shift, and even with the serum it takes twice as long as Tony’s own change. Bucky collapses onto Tony, shaking and panting and sweating, and Tony wonders what HYDRA did to mess up Bucky’s shifting so much.
“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” Tony mutters because while Bucky is still too skinny, it’s true. Bucky’s brown hair hangs down in a greasy clump, despite his wolf’s gorgeous white fur. The eyes are the same in both forms though, a blueish gray that Tony gets lost in before he realizes he also wants to see the rest of Bucky. Tony takes a good, long look. “Please stay,” he pleads.
“Buck,” Steve croaks in a plea of his own.
Bucky still shivers above Tony, and Tony runs his hands down Bucky’s side for lack of anything else to do.
“Steve,” Bucky breathes.
“I’m Tony, actually,” Tony gently corrects.
“Always knew he’d pick a sassy one,” Bucky says, his voice scratchy and unused.
“He’s definitely that. Bit of an idiot, too,” Steve says, with a touch of bite that lets Tony know that his escapades haven’t been completely forgotten. This might not be the reunion Steve had pictured, but it does seem to be going well so…
Tony grins. “I’m quite the handful, honestly. Steve could use some help. You in? Or at least willing to stick around to find out?”
Bucky blows out a breath. “You smell good.”
“Right back atcha,” Tony returns with a relieved sigh. He smoothes some of the strands of Bucky’s hair back from his face. “Come on, Steve. Get in on this.”
Steve crawls forward, his hands tentative and slow as he reaches for Bucky. Bucky doesn’t move, and lets Steve turn him until Steve can lean down and kiss Bucky. Years in the making, Tony knows, and so he tries to be quiet he watches Steve explore Bucky’s mouth for the first time in decades, even though tension builds up in Tony’s body watching his alpha and his beta.
Because they’re his now, right? That’s what Bucky meant… right? Tony gets to keep them both?
Steve pulls back from Bucky’s mouth, slow and reluctant. He licks his lips while Bucky lets out a quiet sigh. Then Steve turns to Tony, gaze bright and wild.
“You stubborn, impulsive omega,” Steve tries to scold, but his voice is too thick and fond for Tony to feel chastised. Steve yanks Tony up by the back of his neck, Bucky also coming along for the ride.
Steve kisses Tony, sweeping into his mouth without care or gentleness. It’s Steve’s almost-died kiss or possible-end-of-the-world kiss, and so Tony knows the taste of Steve’s worry and frustration and relief. Tony takes it all, every bit of it, and cherishes it.
They break apart, panting.
“You had no idea what could’ve happened,” Steve says, and that voice is less fond, more lecturing. Steve is gearing up for a major rant, and Tony would like to delay that.
“You really thought the Winter Wolf was going to hurt me? He just wanted to play,” Tony deflects, reaching up to pat Bucky’s shoulder.
Bucky stares at Tony in shock. “Another reckless idiot,” he growls. “What the hell?”
But Bucky pulls Tony into a heated, biting kiss, so Tony feels like Bucky can’t mean that in a bad way.
Tony laughs, full of joy, and it brings a smile to Steve’s face even as he worries.
“Nah, these are friends! Hey, do you think I could train them to do some different formations? We could travel around like a flying circus and perform tricks for entertainment,” Tony says over the comms.
Steve cranes his neck as Tony flies in the sky above. A pack of pterodactyls - or whatever a group of them are called - wheel around Tony, darting in and out as they get close to the shiny, unknown thing in their sky. So far they have yet to attack, more curious than aggressive, and of course Tony would enjoy that and would be willing to satisfy their curiosity by flying with pterodactyls.
Usually Steve is happy on the ground, but watching Tony dart in and out among the flying dinosaurs that appeared out of the portal makes Steve wish he could fly up there with them as well.
“I know it’s expected that billionaires keep exotic pets, but I’ve seen this movie and it doesn’t end well,” Steve says. He’d meant to be stern, even with teasing, but he can’t keep the fondness out of his tone.
“Jurassic reference, nice. Easy, but nice,” Tony compliments. “I suppose I already have several pets eating me out of house and home anyway. Tragic.”
Steve frowns, and it isn’t until Clint’s offended “Hey!” that Steve gets it.
“We’re not pets, Tony,” Steve sighs, but then he’s distracted by screeching in the bushes.
Steve signals for Clint to stay alert, and then cautiously moves toward the bushes with his shield raised and ready. Steve starts pushing the branches aside, and several small dinosaurs screech in alarm and swarm him.
“It’s fine, it’s fine,” Steve repeats, waving off Clint’s arrow aimed at the small creatures. They run around Steve’s legs, hopping up, but they aren’t attacking with teeth or claws, just jumping at him, ineffectively.
“Look like one of the smaller theropods,” Clint comments.
“Nerd,” Tony teases.
“If I was a nerd I’d tell you exactly which one,” Clint snarks, but then he mumbles something under his breath that even Steve doesn’t catch.
Steve also doesn’t ask, instead reaching down to pet one of the creatures. Tony’s flying friends make Steve want one of his own, and he’ll take these small creatures over the T-rex he’d feared coming through the portal when the alarm first rang.
“They’ve imprinted. Like ducklings,” Clint laughs, when the theropods trail Steve when Steve walks back to the perimeter.
“Still no dinosaur pets allowed back at the Tower, Steve?” Natasha teases.
“I mean if we can’t get the portal right…” Tony says.
“We’ll cross that bridge if we come to it,” is all Steve says, crouching down to analyze his dinosaur ducklings more closely with a smile.
Birthday fic bash prompty thingy! Lol how about Disney Princess Tony Stark with a million animals always coming up to him on missions/during battles/team outings etc. And always bringing home just one more animal friend, much to his partner(s) exasperation and amusement lol
“Oh no. Oh no no no,” Bucky sighs as Tony walks up to him with a racoon in his arms. “Doll, we talked about this.”
The Iron Man helmet retracts so that Bucky can experience the full effect of Tony’s pout. It’s a dangerous thing, and Bucky can already feel his heart twisting as Tony’s eyes widen.
“No,” Bucky repeats, but not even his Winter Soldier face can hold up to the look on Tony’s face for long.
“But she’s injured,” Tony says as he cradles the racoon to his chest.
“Then she can go to the zoo who can help her,” Bucky argues half-heartedly, as he can’t resist taking a closer look at the raccoon laying docile in Tony’s arms. Bucky doesn’t reach for her, having learned his lesson after a squirrel bit his finger when Bucky had tried to touch.
Tony can hold whatever animal he finds - injured or otherwise - but no one else can manage to get close.
“She’ll need a place to recover,” Tony argues.
“That’s what zoos are for,” Bucky defends as he crosses his arms. He admits that he’s probably simply delaying the inevitable. Even if Bucky wasn’t particularly weak to Tony’s pout, it isn’t like Bucky wants to be the villain who denies help to an injured animal.
But Tony already has picked up so many, and sometimes Bucky wants to romance his boyfriend without a curious crow or a chattering chipmunk getting in his way. But maybe Bucky should be grateful that Central Park only has so many types of animals, because if they ended up in the south and Tony picked up a scorpion or something…Then Bucky would have to try to figure out how to say no to Tony bringing animals back to their home to recuperate. Raccoons aren’t the worst thing that Tony can manage to find post-battle.
Besides, Tony hires the best caretakers and does his research to make sure each animal gets what they need, and most of them can and do get released back into the wild. But Bucky had date plans and if Tony too busy, checking over the raccoon instead…
“Please, babe? You know she’ll get better, more individualized care back at the Tower,” Tony pleads.
Bucky sighs. “Alright, alright. She better appreciate it,” Bucky says, casting a weak glare at the raccoon nestled in Tony’s arms. Her paw does look kinked, and Bucky feels a sympathetic tug about the injured limb.
“She sure will,” Tony promises with a bright grin.
Bucky rolls his eyes as the raccoon hisses at him, nestling further into Tony’s arms.
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“Duchess?” Clint questions with araised eyebrow, but doesn’t press when Tony only nods.
Duchess had been the orange tabbycat that the gardener at the Stark mansion had spent hours trying to coax outfrom the hedge bushes. Tony had been eight, watching in the hot summer heat, asthe cat always stayed just out of reach no matter what food or water thegardener had offered. Eventually the gardener had given up, praising the aloofand regal manner the cat maintained, and named the cat Duchess.
Tony sees the resemblance, though thisDuchess is a bit larger than an orange tabby.
This Duchess is a tiger.
Clint had been the one to initiallyfind her, getting thrown through an apartment window during the battle. He hadscreamed realizing that upon landing he was face to face with a tiger, kept asan illegal exotic pet. Duchess had chosen to spare Clint… or she was too weakto attack, malnourished and dehydrated from a neglectful owner.
Tony had swooped in and handledDuchess from there, just in case she decided to gather the energy to take aswipe. There had been a collar around her neck, but Tony doesn’t bother tocheck the name because why would he care what stupid name the idiot owner haddecided on?
She was Duchess.
Duchess goes to the zoo. Duchessgets the best care from the best veterinarians. Tony makes sure. Eventually,month by month, Duchess recovers, enough so that she gets her own exhibit. She’s shy but playful, filling out so that her orange coat is once again gleaming in contrast to her black stripes.
“Aww, isn’t she lonely?” Clint asksas the Avengers stand at the railing, watching Duchess swim in her pool. She’sthe only tiger in her exhibit, one that Tony had personally funded theconstruction for.
Tony grins. “There’s an extra tigerin Ohio that they’re driving over to see if they get along. Duchess might get aboyfriend.”
Tony smirks as Steve enters the workshop, brown bag in hand.
“What do you need, Cap?” Tony asks as he puts down the soldering iron and heads for a clear section of the work bench. His mouth is already salivating at the thought of the thick, juicy burgers trapped in the wrappings, double-bagged and hustled over so they’re still piping hot.
Steve pauses, and Tony pouts as the burgers aren’t immediately put in front of him.
“What do you mean? Can’t I… can’t I just be stopping by?” Steve asks.
“Yeah, but you have burgers,” Tony explains as he makes grabbing motions for the bag. Steve hands them over, and Tony gleefully digs into them. He’s only giving his mouth five percent of his brain’s attention as he pulls out the first burger. “You only bring burgers when you need something.”
“I don’t,” Steve defends immediately, crossing his arms. “I just bring them because I know you don’t eat!”
Tony takes a big mouthful and groans as the grease of the burger and the crunch of the lettuce and the taste of the cheese dances in his mouth. “Okay, sure,” Tony mumbles in agreement as he chews his current bite and evaluates the burger for the next optimal bite. Tony swallows and then takes another large, greedy bite while Steve pouts in front of him. “So you don’t need to ask me for something?” he asks with a smirk.
Steve scowls. “I - no, not right now. I just thought you might want a burger,” Steve explains, but he turns away from making eye contact with Tony.
“Uh huh,” Tony agrees. “So you don’t need me to do anything like… figure out why your boots squeak on SHIELD floors?”
Steve flushes. “I mean, if you’d like to handle that, I’d be grateful, but the burgers aren’t…”
“A bribe?” Tony finishes with a grin. He takes another bite of the burger and watches Steve not squirm. “As far as methods go, though, this is a good one. I’m always a sucker for a good burger. Effective, too. I’ll look into it.”
Tony signals for JARVIS to add it to his to-do list, and gives Steve a thumbs up.
“I don’t… I don’t just get you burgers because I need stuff,” Steve explains, arms still crossed tight across his chest.
“It’s fine, Steve. I like burgers.”
Steve sighs and uncrosses his arms. He clenches his fists, relaxes them, then almost crosses them across his chest again before he simply puts them behind his back. His chest puffs out, and Steve looks like he’s going to declare a strategy. Tony sits up in preparation.
“If you want to get them fresh sometime… that would be good. Promise I won’t ask you to fix the shield, or anything,” Steve says with a nervous smile.
Tony blinks, then blinks again. “Are you canceling your delivery service?”
“No! I meant… do you want to get burgers with, uh, with me. Sometime.”
Tony blinks again, then oh. “Uh, yeah, okay,” Tony says, suddenly finding the last of his first burger very interesting. “Sure, sounds good, I like burgers, I said that right? Fresh burgers are good, though you do a really good job of ferrying this over, so thanks, really, have I thanked you for these burgers yet? But fresh, you’re right, there’s something about fresh burgers right off the grill, so we should do that. Sometime.”
“Great,” Steve says, a small but genuine smile on his lips and his shoulders relax. “Then I don’t have to keep finding reasons to bring you burgers.”
“Today I faced a worthy opponent,” Thor says as he eases back in his chair. He pats his stomach and sighs.
“And you walk off the battlefield a winner,” Tony cheers, raising his glass in toast.
Clint groans, head pillowed on his arms, with his half-eaten plate of nachos in front of him. Natasha makes sure to record his misery. Tony simply appreciates that Clint has stopped himself before he threw up - a rarity in their food eating challenges.
Clint is the only non-enhanced human who continues to participate. Tony had tried it only once, with spicy chicken wings, before calling it quits. Natasha had been smart enough to never enter to begin with, simply happily munching on Clint’s leftovers when Clint finally tossed in the towel.
Today, with the challenge being nachos - eight pounds of nachos, including chips, cheese, beef, jalapenos, guacamole, and sour cream - Thor had won, being the first to clear his plate.
Steve groans and throws down his chip, piled high with meat and cheese and sour cream. Even with Steve’s super soldier metabolism, his stomach only has so much space to cram food into. Steve does better with longer timed challenges, where his stomach can digest some of the food before he swallows down more.
Bruce continues to munch on his plate. Bruce rarely wins because he usually doesn’t exert the effort to do so, but usually when the competitive spirit arises he gives Thor a good run.
“That’s the third in a row! We have to up the challenge, I think,” Natasha comments as she scoops up some of the guacamole left on Clint’s plate.
“Everyone must simply concede that I am the champion,” Thor declares.
“Yes, but how much of this is simply Asgardian advantage?” Tony questions. “I think we need to invite some of your friends to Earth and see how you fare. Maybe Asgardian stomachs are simply bigger.”
Thor laughs. “Indeed! I must invite the Warriors Three, and we shall see how they fare against me and rest of the Avengers! I will happily best everyone in an eating contest to earn my title of champion.”
Clint groans again, and this time Steve joins.
“Don’t call them right now, Thor,” Steve warns as Thor moves to stand up and probably do just that. “Can we… can we take a few hours at least? Or a day, or…”
“Yeah, take a seat big guy,” Tony says, waving Thor back down. “We’ll have to give some warning to the restaurant to make sure they have enough to feed you. And Steve might need to fast a bit, get that appetite raring to go.”
