CHARACTER INFORMATION

faceclaim: go yoonjung, actress

legal name: hong yerin

stage name:

pronouns: she/her/hers

birth date: september 16, 1997

hometown: busan, south korea

position: candy’s leader and main vocal

established career claims: 140 ecp (orig. 125 +15 (future section))

062917: (predebut) lead role in a music video — cloud’s very nice / 10 points

072817: (predebut) standalone brand commercial — maxwell house colombiana coffee ep.1 / 15 points

013120 to 032120: main role in a television drama — itaewon class as jo yiseo / 40 points

121820: supporting role in a television drama — sweet home as park yoori / 25 points

021222: main role in a television drama — twenty-five, twenty-one as ko yurim/julia ko / 40 points

05XX22: solo pictorial for elle korea / 10 points

BIOGRAPHY

triggers: cyberbullying, underage smoking

there are always two constants in her life: rumors and music.

everything else is inconsequential.

__

BILLIONAIRE BAE JIHOON CAUGHT ENTERING HOTEL WITH MYSTERIOUS WOMAN

[+1,024, -29] his career is over [+638, -91] what a crazy b*stard to do such a thing [+379, -240] why does it look like soojin from that girl group that came back with a trashy song… [+165, -12] wait…isn’t he married with two kids?? [+78, -43] you would think he would be more discreet if he was going to cheat lol

it’s funny when you’re a man of power and money, you can get away with most things scot-free: pay off the media to hush-hush, sweep scandals under the rug by digging up dirtier secrets to smear someone else’s name, divert attention, save your own ass in the process.

soojin does not have the same luxury.

after all, she’s just collateral damage.

__

BREAKING NEWS: SUGAR’S HONG SOOJIN ANNOUNCES DEPARTURE FROM GROUP

Keystone Entertainment issues formal apology written by Hong Soojin and announces her departure from SUGAR and the industry. When pressed for further information, Keystone Entertainment declined to comment.

[+716, -63] serves her right for trying to steal someone else’s husband ㅋㅋ [+290, -18] what a sh*tty apology. her agency probably wrote the letter for her [+182, -39] she knows the world won’t forget, right? going in hiding is so shameful [+44, -157] nobody admitted to anything? does no one else find it fishy…?

when everything is a foregone conclusion, what is the point of an explanation?

__

people say it takes a village to raise a child.

for yerin, all she needs are loving hands and a patient smile.

behind closed doors, her mother dances around in a laundry-soft dress and a checkered apron humming to songs blasting on the radio. yerin watches, seated in a plastic chair with her legs swinging right on beat. her cue to chime in is when she sees her mother holding a spoon under her chin, making her little face crinkle up in a grin so bright it could rival the sun.

nights like these are normal — until they’re not.

__

“did you know yerin’s mom used to be an idol?”

“really? was she famous?”

“…probably not..”

“so how does your mom know then?”

“heard it from the tteokbokki lady.”

“should we ask?“

“ask who?”

“yerin.”

“nah. she’ll probably lie, anyway.”

__

if they’d thought to ask, she would tell them the truth: her mother sings. she never stops. from the moment yerin could string together words and recognize sound, her mother’s voice has been her favorite thing in the world. it’s the same voice that accompanies her on the train ride to and from school — old cd player in hand; always with her earbuds in, tuning out the world.

she would tell them her mother works two jobs trying to make ends meet, that she could barely afford the castaways bought at discount prices from the local thrift shop. (private lessons are expensive. so is food. and the half-basement a neighbor found for them.)

she doesn’t tell them her mother is nothing like the other aunties make her out to be.

because rumors have weight and nobody really cares for the truth, anyway.

it doesn’t matter that her mother is unchanging. simple but resilient.

the world and everyone else is not.

(this is a lesson she too will learn.)

__

she’s ten when she learns that music is visceral, powerful, serene.

it’s far easier to make friends with a banged up keyboard and a shoddy secondhand guitar when they have no eyes, no ears, no mouth.

the neighborhood kids with all their incessant backhand whispering and gossip can’t compare to the judgment she feels for herself as she learns to differentiate black and ivory keys, and pluck at nylon strings clumsily. no amount of snickering could compare to the cacophony of sounds that greet her when she first slams her hands down on the keys or the painful sting of soft callouses forming on her fingertips.

ignorance is hard when nobody can possibly understand that words do hurt — that she is human and can be broken too.

__

she’s twelve when her mother falls in love.

her home is no longer a cramped half-basement on the outskirts of town but in a quaint little apartment nestled deep in the veins of seoul. it’s the epitome of concrete jungle — harsher, sleeker, and so much colder.

school is no better. it’s hardly anything more than a circus with everyone vying for center stage. it’s hard to lie low when echoes of home crackles through in the curling drawl of an accent; syllables far more blunt and razor edged than the soft-rounded cadence that’s the norm.

the hallways in school are no better than the streets back home. the only difference is: it echoes louder; the ripple effects far more volatile. people care more but also care less, she realizes. anonymity means nothing when her peers can draw her face with smiling mouths and cruel hands.

loose lips are a given and word of mouth is just as deadly.

school is a petri dish, after all — teens and their raging hormones; puberty at its finest.

so she keeps to herself, minds her own business, and if there’s hardly an open seat available to her at the cafeteria table, she makes herself at home in an empty classroom. she drifts day to day, living on the edge of frenzied conversations — a wraith; an unwanted, wretched thing.

__

there’s a pack of smokes she stole from youngjae earlier in the day sitting on the ledge beside her. earbuds in and the world open beneath her feet. she thinks it looks beautiful; this vantage point and feeling so high up.

she sings, lets the wind carry her heart away from her. she sings and wishes and wants.

a voice intrudes and pulls her roughly back to reality.

“you shouldn’t smoke.”

“says the smoker.”

nimble fingers yank the half-lit cigarette from his mouth. she knows better than to smoke it though. instead, she leaves it dangling between her lips, cupping the end of it in her hands as if she were about to catch the ashes flying away.

“you ever thought about auditioning?”

she shrugs dismissively, not looking at him.

“singing makes you happy.”

the cigarette drops from her fingers and a scuffed shoe comes down hard, crushing it into the ground.

her eyes close. breathe in, breathe out.

“it feels like home, doesn’t it?”

she doesn’t say anything.

(it hasn’t felt like home in a long time.)

__

for fourteen years, she’s managed to avoid it but trouble comes knocking at her sister’s graduation ceremony. it comes disguised as a well-to-do lady in a tailored suit and a voice so velvety smooth, yerin can’t help but sigh at what seems to be a scripted casting that sounds too good to be true.

her mother snatches the business card and rejects the woman on her behalf. it’s not until they’re outside that she notices her mother’s hands are shaking.

she’s heard stories, wisps of rumors that have haunted her at every turn, every age, back when she was too young to understand that eavesdropping was rude.

she knows her mother has lived it, has run from it — a gilded world that promised too much in exchange for her youth. and yet, yerin can see the longing her mother tries so hard to bury. she has caught her far too many times looking at yellowing photocards, fingers caressing a vinyl still wrapped in its fading cover to believe her mother’s forgotten it all.

“do you miss it?” yerin asks softly, fingers grasping her work-weathered hands like a lifeline.

“yes.” very much.

there’s so much heartache nestled in that bitter admittance, so much her own heart cleaves in two hearing it.

“okay.” i know.

she holds her mother while she cries, vowing to finish what she started all those years ago.

__

becoming a trainee is easy. it’s acclimating that’s difficult.

she’s no social butterfly. far be it for her to bend her back trying to kiss ass and make friends when she can use that time holed up in a studio, making the most of every hour she’s booked to sing.

she’s content, she tells herself, to be shunned by people who are eager to turn her into a scapegoat — the punchline to every joke. girls are cattiest when pitted against one another, after all.

“that girl, ye…whatever her name is. she’s hardly competition. no backing, no money, no connections. she might look a little pretty but so what? she’s in a sea of roses. nothing special.”

“yeah…but honestly, she does have a nice voice.”

“hey, why are you siding with that bitch anyway?

“what? it’s true and you know it. you’re just jealous.”

“please. she acts all high and mighty in front of us, but i bet she’s on her knees when we turn our back. you saw the way she was praised lately? unbelievable. a few days ago, she was reprimanded for her blank face. stage presence? zero facial expressions? ha. if she debuts before i do, i’ll kneel and call her unnie.”

school, studio, stage: they’re different, but battlefields all the same.

people talk. constantly. incessantly.

they never stop.

__

when sapphire debuts, she laughs.

it’s a snoozefest amidst a betting pool of so many other tryhards, they barely make a splash. yet, sandwiched between girls prettier, more charming, and bolder than her, it’s yerin who turn heads and garner some talk as the reserved maknae whose powerful voice eclipsed her presence — and everyone else.

in an industry as cutthroat as this one, timing and luck is everything.

the company gambles big on the next comeback, hoping the catchy lyrics and easy choreography would be the next viral hit.

it’s not.

the song flops and a few months later, sapphire disbands weeks before their 1st anniversary.

__

CROWN ENTERTAINMENT ANNOUNCES MERGER WITH KOEX ENTERTAINMENT. SAPPHIRE TO DISBAND.

[+524, -76] aww…that’s so sad. is it just me or did anyone else like their comeback song? i thought it was very cute even if the mv looked tacky and low budget  [+108, -31] wow so sudden?? you think any of them will resign with KOEX? It was so nice to see all members having decent vocals [+69, -24] that maknae looks familiar hmm.. i think she used to go to my middle school? heard she had a reputation and played around. tsk tsk. look at karma doing its job hahaha

yerin is unfazed.

hindsight is 20/20 and all this has taught her is to always be prepared for anything.

she knows she won’t survive in this kind of jungle if she continued to keep a lid on her brimming ambitions. she’s got a dream to chase, a world to seize in the palm of her hands, and she’ll be damned if she left it slip away without a fight.

so she auditions. again and again and again. until she makes it.

she swears her hand shakes when she signs the dotted line for the second time.

__

it’s hard at first.

opening up about herself isn’t something that comes naturally. having spent years in chosen solitude, it’s weird to think there are people who genuinely care about how she’s feeling, how they ask after her when she looks a little worse for wear, how warm people can be when she gives them a chance.

one friend becomes two. then, three.

slowly, yerin learns to smile and laugh without hiding her face behind her hand or her hair. her voice brightens, becoming fuller and rounder; her accent smoothing out the longer she learns to let herself speak her mind.

with every day that passes and they remain by her side, her heart heals a little more.

__

her circle of misfits changes over the course of the years as people come and go. the training rooms become a revolving door of fresh faces and veteran souls. new and old colliding in a clash of egos and brutal desperation.

it gets harder and harder to predict who will stay and who will leave.

this world is hell — egotistical and hypocritical. your friends will be your enemies sooner than you think. opportunities to feature in a music video and a commercial stokes a fire that burns red and hot.

envy, she learns, is a disease.

__

BC ENTERTAINMENT’S SURVIVAL SHOW “CANDY SHOP” TO FEATURE 13 TRAINEES

BC Entertainment has announced the creation of a new girl group through a new survival show, “Candy Shop.” The show will feature 13 trainees, split into two groups based on readiness of debut: “Sweet” and “Sour.” All 13 trainees will have the opportunity to secure a chance to debut in BC Entertainment’s first girl group since Lily’s debut in 2010.

Stay tuned for further updates regarding list of contestants and latest coverage.

[+791, -63] a survival show? is bc entertainment lacking in ideas? they must be crazy to let the public decide who will debut ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

[+390, -18] i’m excited for the contestants. bc has some well-known trainees and it’s about time we get to see them debut!

[+185, -39] hope everyone votes for trainees who are actually talented and not just because they’re a pretty face…

[+24, -57] not going to watch. you know the votes will be rigged. don’t waste your time

__

when the show begins airing, they tell her she’s different.

“you don’t see it?”

she doesn’t have time to worry about anything else by going on the grind, working herself into a mess of aching muscles, until her voice cracks and fades. candy shop is a ticket to a second chance and she knows very well she might not get another one if she doesn’t grab it with both hands.

“this show…it’s eating you. you’re not happy.”

they’re right.

she can’t afford to be. not when all her energy is spent on being good enough—better—than everyone else. being a part of “sweet” feels like she’s got the world pressing down her shoulders. everyone’s expectations rise twofold; their eyes sharper, their mouths unforgiving.

every episode aired is like another knife to the chest. her ranking fluctuates; turbulent like her emotions. the pressure is finally getting to her and she botches two of her performances. the criticism washes over her — she should be immune to all this: rumors, gossip, pettiness.

in front of the world, she hits rock bottom.

still, she refuses to cry. what else can she do but endure?

so she sings, it’s all she knows how to do. if she can’t even do this, what else did she have left?

__

it ends like a dream — with a jolt and a heaving gasp.

rank 6: judges’ choice. hong yerin.

for the first time, she cries.

__

candy debuts and takes the world by storm.

she’s come full circle. their color pop, sugar cute concept is exactly as yerin expected. It’s fun, feel good, and catchy in a way sapphire never was.

candy shop’s popularity helps pave the way. this is how she learns that power and money means everything. public reaction still at an all-time high, following them at every turn. yerin knows she can’t risk stepping out of line. being named leader is both a blessing and a curse in disguise. the title, a leash that forces her to grow up fast.

__

candy’s meteoric rise to the top as the nation’s girl group comes with hard lessons.

lesson #1: she’s not as popular as some of her members.

that rank 6 will haunt her until she retires, she’s well aware. with it comes the lingering resentment from diehard fans of all the trainees who failed to make it. failed — because she stole their spot. failed — because she lacks stage presence and while pretty, her visuals must’ve been the result of money. failed — because she’s still that girl who chooses to step back when given the opportunity to shine, insecure and afraid to risk it all.

it doesn’t help that she’s quieter, noticeably more reserved in both speech and mannerisms.

she’s not bold or sassy. sweet or cute. rather, she’s almost unassuming when she’s surrounded by the rest of candy.

the rumored ice princess. cold and intimidating.

lesson #2: this is not a democracy. she’s just one person. weak and marginally insignificant.

as a main vocalist, she’s already given many lines in every song. it’s not her fault, but fans could care less. as the leader, she should give her lines to other members, they say. she shouldn’t be greedy, it’s not fair, they say.

“i don’t need to sing the chorus twice, maybe this line can suit…”

“it’s fine. you can sing it. you can handle it, right?”

“yes, but —”

“it’s decided.”

she sighs.

lesson #3: in the end, she’s just a pawn. another investment the big wigs deemed worthy of a gamble.

the trick of the trade is to gather ammunition. in a company as big as bc entertainment, yerin is well aware that she is expendable. candy has a shelf life. there’s never any guarantee that she will retire with a legacy that stays for generations.

being patient is a survival skill and she has it in spades.

in due time, her obedience is rewarded. her value as a member of candy increases slowly but steadily. discussions with company executives bear fruit in the form of a gamble — yerin, how do you feel about acting?

she doesn’t even hesitate. she closes her eyes and lets them decide for her.

it’s a decision that shoots her to the top of the world. jo yiseo becomes her saving grace.

was it luck? was it talent? murmurs ripple through the grapevine. she must’ve just got lucky with the role. did she even audition? bc ent. sure is the king of backing.

rumors continue to follow her, even as she auditions over and over again. through countless meetings and table read-throughs and multiple rejections. itaewon class's success turns a blessing into a curse.

sweet home goes global and the spotlight glare only brightens. the heat of it scorching, burning. park yoori is more understated than jo yiseo’s vibrance and larger-than-life presence. it suits her — yoori’s quiet tenacity, her stubborn but kindhearted nature. yoori settles like a second skin where yiseo felt like a mask she still struggles to remove.

yerin lies low after.

they call it burnout. she calls it paranoia, a lingering fear that ate her alive.

script after script is offered her way; all of which are declined with an excuse that she wanted to focus on group activities, that she was waiting for the right timing and the right role.

two years later, it comes in the form of twenty-five, twenty-one. ko yurim elevates her once again to the top of the world. a girl with a big dream and a closed-off heart struggling to make it, struggling to open up. it’s a coming-of-age story like no other but yerin falls in love, falls so deeply, yurim becomes her.

a year ago, yerin was the talk of the town.

a year later, it is like she has vanished once again.

with all eyes on her waiting to see what she’ll do next, the fear of losing everything begins to strangle her.

(after all, you know what they say: the higher you climb, the harder you fall.)

__

IMAGE & CAREER

yerin is known as a perfectionist and consummate professional, in that she is rarely seen flustered by onstage or offstage mishaps. she’s steadfast and responsible, with an innate tendency to attract attention for her graceful mannerisms and articulate speech. yerin is often the mouthpiece as the one taking the lead during interviews and onstage speeches. her reserved personality has caused many to think her detached and cold, earning her the nickname, “ice princess.” though sounding affectionate, anti-fans have used the moniker to spread rumors about her supposed arrogance and poor reputation both as a student and as a trainee. in addition, her less vibrant stage presence in comparison to her members has caused some to call her “blank face” and lament on the mismatch in her abilities: a pretty and talented vocalist, but an underrated performer.

outside of candy, she’s more known as a talented idol actress. yerin isn’t known for being particularly ambitious with her individual schedules, but she has slowly been gaining attention, especially with her roles in hit dramas, such as itaewon class, sweet home and twenty-five, twenty-one.

bc entertainment’s bold push to establish yerin as an actress has divided fandom. it’s hard to avoid the stigma of idol actors polluting the big and small screens, but yerin has managed to cement her place as someone to keep an eye on. her performance as jo yiseo landed her on the radar of industry professionals and won the hearts of viewers, marking yerin as an up-and-coming actress. her role as park yoori in sweet home and as ko yurim in twenty-five, twenty-one have garnered praised for her ability to thoroughly portray flawed underdog characters viewers want to root for. her popularity has definitely experienced a steady rise in recent years.

public reception is always mixed when it comes to comments about her on forums and articles, with her loudest critics being those who like to harp on her manufactured visuals, her supposed bad reputation as a student, criticizing her for not being up to par with the rest of candy, how candy shop was probably rigged and that she should not have debuted or that she’s undeserving of her position. negativity like this follows yerin no matter the accomplishments she has amassed.

while she might not have the expected girl-next-door charm and cute-lovely energy, yerin makes up for it in the occasional shy, startled smiles when she spots her fansite masters and her gentle warmth during one-on-one interactions and fan meetings. given the chance, yerin is capable of surprising even her most loyal of fans with spurts of energy and dynamic reactions. she’s just very subtle about it. with candy’s beginning to evolve into a more mature image, yerin will likely begin to feel more at ease with future concepts and discography.

FUTURE

yerin is an ambitious person, even if she seems magnanimous. she has played the role of the yes-woman so well, it’s expected by the company that she would always be rule-abiding and passive. not one to enjoy or incite conflict, her obedience is a strategy she uses to ensure she stays in the company’s good graces. she knows well enough the rumors that continue to follow her from predebut to present has some impact on her image, especially when she was competing on candy shop and later as a member of candy. she can’t afford to be anything less than perfect to avoid fanning any flames that could potentially burn her in the future.

thus far, her growing popularity has allowed her be met with some leniency and freedom to express herself openly during discussions about her individual schedules. acting has become an avenue in which she hopes to establish herself more prominently in and she’s grown to love immersing herself in scripts and characters. she enjoys the challenge and while her insecurity plays a huge role in how dramas and her characters are perceived, her desire to exceed expectations is just as strong. she will work to expose the public to a different side of her every time she appears on screen and hope to endear them to her through her characters. one day, she hopes to be acknowledged as a talented vocalist and a versatile actress.

in the near future, i’d like to also shift her focus between promoting with candy and her acting projects to fashion & modeling. not sure if i’ll have her specialize primarily in brand commercials or appearing in magazine pictorials.

character information

faceclaim: kim jennie, member of blackpink

legal name: song hayi

stage name:

pronouns: she/her

birth date: 6 june 1995

hometown: jeju-do south korea

position: lead vocal, lead dancer, rapper of lily

established career claims: 270+15

variety / 165

20130908. single guest appearance in running man (ep 237 hani ref) + 5

20140128. single guest appearance in cool kidz on the block (ep 115 hani ref) + 5

20140518. single guest appearance in running man (ep 275 hani ref) + 5

20141115 - 20141206. multiple episode guest appearance in off to school (ep 36-39 hani ref) + 15

20160221. single guest appearance in problematic men (ep 138 hani ref) + 5

20161002. single guest appearance in running man (ep 448 hani ref) + 5

20161117. single guest appearance in happy together (ep 553 mijoo ref) + 5

20170202. single guest appearance in happy together (ep 576 mijoo ref) + 5

20170625 - 20170924. main cast short term spot in hyori’s homestay s1 (iu equiv) + 30

20171210. single guest appearance in running man (ep 500 mijoo ref) + 5

20180204. single guest appearance in running man (ep 513 mijoo ref) + 5

20180526. single guest appearance in unexpected q (ep 4 mijoo ref) + 5

20180608. single guest appearance in i live alone (ep 247 hwasa ref) + 5

20181106-20181221 main cast short term spot in village survival the eight (jennie equiv) + 30

20200405. single guest appearance in my little old boy (ep 285 mijoo ref) + 5

20200608. single guest appearance in video star (ep 197 mijoo ref) + 5

20200827 - 20200910. multiple episode guest appearance in delicious rendezvous (ep 39-41 sunmi ref) + 15

20220403. single guest appearance in running man (ep 532 mijoo ref) + 5

20220710. single guest appearance in running man (ep 571 mijoo ref) + 5

fashion and modeling / 120

201808 - 201902. six month korean non-luxury ambassador contract (subway) + 30

201906 - 201912. six month korean non-luxury ambassador contact (everland carribean bay) + 30

202005 - 202011. six month korean non-luxury ambassador contract (treuves palette lenses) + 30

202201 - 202207. six month korean non-luxury ambassador contact (kaesukang lotte chilsung) + 30

biography

triggers: mentions of child neglect, mentions of possible abortion

it’s difficult to swim in the ocean admits a storm. the current pulling against you as you attempt to swim to shore, the waves crashing against you so harshly your lungs fill of turbulent water, your body tires out and feels at the brink. it doesn’t matter that the ocean was once calm, serene, and felt safe, because when the storm comes, they’re both your enemy. in the end, there’s only one way to survive: keep your head up out the water.

in this tale, the ocean: jay song, father and the storm: lee miyoung, mother.

-

“but i don’t want to be married.” “and i didn’t want to be knocked up at nineteen, yet here we are. the idiot and the whore. if you want me to keep it, we have to get married.”

-

it takes two bodies, a generous amount of liquor, and a few smooth words to make a child - and it takes fearful teenagers, judgmental parents of said teenagers, and desperation to make a home. it’s her father who wants her, but her mother who raises her. some days it felt like she was living in two homes instead of one (though both were barely keeping it together, cracks in the walls and holes covered up by whatever pretty thing laid around). when swimming in the ocean during a storm, both the sea and the wind play a part in the fight to shore. but there were times the sun peaked through, moments of rest where it was possible to catch a breath or two before it started anew.  

her mother nagged, screamed, and couldn’t be bothered to raise a child but there were moments it was just the two of them at the dinner table eating in silence but peering at each other between glances. her father coddled, taught her music, how to dance, how to (sort of) sing, and took her overseas to the states every summer but six of the twelve months in the year she was lucky to see him in passing.

for a little, it was okay. lee miyoung spent more time out with friends and pretending to live as a non-parental college student than being a mother, but it meant that song hayi grew up independent. she knew to cook, she knew to get herself to school and back, she knew that a bedtime wasn’t necessary and she could stay up watching all types of dance videos and listening to all kinds of music. jay song spent more time focused on dance and chasing a dream than being a father, but it meant song hayi grew up resilient. she knew how to dance before she could walk, she knew how to go after what she wanted, and she didn’t give up on anything (not even trying to beat stinky, ugly, annoying kim seunghyun in gym everyday).

in this tale, they tried and tried and tried.

-

“you can’t keep taking my child away from me. what if i wanted to make plans with her?” “suddenly? you’ve never once complained in the last five years, in fact i’m sure you’ve thanked me a few times.” “well now i’m saying i want her here for the summer. while we’re at it, i want a divorce.”

-

perhaps that little home had never been home, but jeju had been. her mother could rave about busan all she wanted (and really, what did she expect hayi to believe when her mother was native to the city and still found a way to leave it miles behind) but at ten years old, she knew better. the move is the hardest part about the divorce, not the fact that her mother and father were no longer together (because, truly, they never had been) nor the fact that her mother had won custody over her (seriously, she hadn’t expected a man who isn’t even in the country for more than half the year to be given full parental rights) but the fact that she was starting from scratch. in a way, that’s exactly what had happened.

it’s as if her mother became a new person overnight, suddenly concern over what her daughter ate in the morning (and for lunch, and dinner!) and caring about what outfit her daughter was leaving the house in (the shopping trips had not been fun, no matter how much she loved fashion). from couldn’t be bothered to overbearing, it was suffocating. her father moved to seoul, not wanting to be anywhere near busan but close enough to visit (”it’s only four hours!”) but besides two more summers together in california and a few trips to seoul on the weekends, it was a miracle if her mother let her out of her sight.

in this tale, divorce is just as messy and raw.

-

“unity?” “our leader was trying to be clever, since we have a lot of foreigners in the crew. just ignore the name, do you want to join us?”

-

her mother hates that she dances, but she can’t stop her. hayi doesn’t know if it’s because she thinks it’s below her or because it reminds her of her ex husband or because there’s a sinking reality that her daughter is turning out to be more and more like her father even without his presence. she doesn’t know, and she doesn’t care to find out. she dances. because it’s what has always felt like home, because it’s what always were those few breaths of calm during the storm, and just because she feels alive when she does it. she’s good at it, be it genetics or passion or hard work. that’s how she finds a little dance crew of twenty five kids (ages fourteen to twenty, so they’d argue they’re really not kids) at the age of twelve. for some it’s a hobby, for some it’s a dream they want to make reality, for her it’s chance after chance after event after event to grow.

in this tale, family is found.

-

“why do i have to do this?” “you don’t have to. i won’t force you to audition. but, this is a huge opportunity for you. you’re talented. so talented, hayi. you deserve to do more with your talent than just be in our little crew.” “i love our crew.” “we will always be here. don’t you at least want to see what could happen?” “i guess.”

-

they ask her name and her age. comment that she’s the youngest at today’s audition. perhaps it’s meant to be a shock factor, or a fear factor, maybe they say it because they’re impressed, for once with the light blinding her face she isn’t able to read theirs, but it does nothing to her. she’s used to being the youngest, the smallest in a room. she’s the youngest in the crew, she says. they smile, the type of smile adults give when children amuse them. she doesn’t particularly like it but she knows not to do or say anything about that, she stands and waits until they ask her to present what she’s prepared.

and she had never known much about being an idol trainee, the videos she used to watch had never shown the hours and hours of classes (vocal, rap, dance, english, korean, school on top of that!). she manages to keep it a secret from her mother for five months, by then she’s committed to herself to debut and there’s not much, if anything, that can stop her from achieving that (”you’re just like your father”).

the first year is the hardest. she’s never been good with change, has always needed some constant. between another move, many many new faces, and a schedule that’s filled to the brim, it’s hard. she doesn’t say much, and she smiles even less so she wouldn’t be surprised if every other trainee hated her guts or thought she was stuck up. it’s just, hard.

the second year is easier. if her peers think she’s the strangest being alive for suddenly changing up her entire personality, she’d just tell them a quick story about her mother. it’s easier to be herself - to be loud between lessons (sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong), to smile and laugh (even when she’s stuck running errands), and to promise herself she’ll debut (even between the arrival and departure of so many friends). by the third year and a few months, she’s a pro. at least, that’s what she tells herself when it’s debut time which means a whole other round of change.

in this tale, there’s just as many turns and stops on the road to a dream.

-

“i didn’t get a main position” “isn’t lead just as good?” “maybe to you, not to me. i thought i was good enough for at least one main position, instead i got two lead positions and one position that doesn’t even have a title in front of it!” “just use that to work harder. it doesn’t mean you’re less than them.”

-

lily is a household name, the way bc entertainment intended them to be. and though in the beginning they had a set image for her, they decided to use her way of being for her image (just a bit, enough to pass as a respected idol of course). and maybe her dream doesn’t happen right away, it’d be foolish to think she’d just get to dance and sing. she knows how to be a team player, knows it’s a long game. she doesn’t like it though. she has nothing against her group, not even the girls who have beat her in every position, but she sort of dislikes her company. it happens though, she plays by their rules and she becomes some variety star. at some point that translates to a solo popularity she can’t understand, brands looking for her despite seeming lacking in a group full of talented girls. ten years later, she wouldn’t have expected this kind of life. even more, she wouldn’t have expected to like it.

it didn’t matter which group it would’ve been, or which concept they expected, or whatever image they wanted to glue to her - she was going to make it happen. her story deserves a happy ending, doesn’t it?

in this tale, twenty seven still doesn’t mean having your life together.

image & career

seventeen years old with the sweetest smile, bc entertainment believed song hayi would be a perfect fit for the girl group they had been picturing - a group created with the intent to be the first loves of many, ideal types of all, and ever lasting. the freshness that came from a young teenage girl further pushed the innocent, graceful picture that bc entertainment perfected with lily.

it didn’t matter that her nickname since she was a second year trainee had been the infamous firecracker song, for her boisterous and quirky nature. it didn’t matter that at seventeen, there was no being sure whether she’d grow out or be able to restrain her chaotic ways enough to push out the lily image. what mattered was that she bit her tongue until it was raw and red if need be, what mattered was that she had possessed talent like nobody else, that bc entertainment could scream out look, they aren’t just beautiful but they can sing, dance, and rap!

the public quickly absorbed and raved about the seventeen year old’s charisma on stage. the subtle winks, hair flips, and firecracker energy. charisma wasn’t something that she ever imagined to be remembered for, but the public liked to see her performance on the stage. sure she looked innocent and pure, but they admired how she seemed to be cool and confident as well. she didn’t like that her dance parts were never center, but she did like that she seemed to get many singing killing parts. small wins.

a year into her career, at eighteen years old, she begins to get multiple requests from variety shows asking for appearances. bc is hesitant at first, not wanting to disrupt the image they so carefully created but then it clicks. in a group of ideal types, there has to be one that seems attainable and not so out of reach. that’s the image they’ll push out for her: a (bc) defined firecracker. the public starts to see song hayi who’s clumsy and strangely competitive, song hayi who smiles way too much and laughs way too hard, song hayi who looks so beautiful doing the most ridiculous things. she becomes an entertainer, that’s what she becomes, on and off the stage. someone who people will easily relate to, someone charismatic and with a strong stage presence. someone who is seemingly the “ordinary” girl that, of course, she becomes the publics ideal type.

the rise of popularity and demand for her in variety shows becomes a whirlwind just a year before their contract renewal. bc entertainment had always said we don’t need you to be a choreographer, we pay for them, we just need you to be an entertainer. but she had continuously submitted choreograph requests for songs, all of which were rejected. four years in, she relents. she’s given up and she decides to focus on the career she’s already been building. she’s been doing well following orders, and it isn’t as if she isn’t talented (because she really is, even if it’s just as a leading lady) so she gives in. so that’s how it goes. she follows orders, she continues to be bc’s entertainer and maybe someday that’ll turn into being a choreographer. or a soloist. or anything else. the problem is, song hayi wants to be everything.

future

after ten years in the industry, some would think that idols would be burnt out - and though that could be true for most, that’s not the case for her. she knows there’s no chance she will ever be viewed as a “normal” person and she doesn’t particularly want to be. she likes the fame so far, she likes the fact that she’s slowly (in her mind, in her eyes) turning into a household name for variety. she thinks if she can get some more fixed cast spots under her belt, it’ll really push her out there as a comedian rather than just an idol wanna be comedian.

in terms of choreography - bc entertainment is still stuck on the fact that they’d rather pay for choreographers than let her choreograph for their groups. it’s a bitter pill to swallow and though years ago she relented, in the future it might be an arc where she attempts to submit pieces again (and finally will have them approved, even if it’s partials).

one of the biggest things in her future is a solo career where she gets to put out music that fits the bc style but actually resonates with her as an artist (can we really refer to her as that? she’s still an idol). she’s working hard towards that and by working hard, she’s borderline harassing the company and her manager to make it happen.

CHARACTER INFORMATION

faceclaim: kim dahyun, member of twice

legal name: shin yeona

stage name: yeona

pronouns: she/her

birth date: september 13 1998

hometown: masan, south korea

position: main dancer, subrapper, subvocal of WISH

claims: hit the stage (season one)

BIOGRAPHY

triggers: parental death, depression, child neglect

shin yeona only ever knew about her mother through pictures, stories, and secondhand accounts of what kind of woman she was. her birth was a solemn day; the happiness of her parents dashed all because of a complication during the delivery. no matter how hard the doctors tried, they could only save one life that day, and it was yeona’s.

her father felt conflicted. his daughter was a blessing, but the loss of his wife was too much. his heart was broken, and he didn’t know how to fix it. how could it handle feeling both overjoyed at the coming of his daughter and despondent at the going of his wife? and it all happened on the same day. he fell deep into despair, neglecting not only her but himself as well.

due to the state of her father’s mental health, they had to move to masan where her grandparents were. life started to feel a little better there. her grandparents were attentive and caring, and the neighborhood kids were welcoming enough, even though they had their own groups. despite that, she still didn’t feel right. something was lacking, something in her system that longed for something more.

it wasn’t until she saw a music video on tv. it was like the music seeped into her very being, taking control, and soon she was copying the dance moves of the dancers. the flow and the movement all came naturally, but as a child who still has yet to gain control of herself, it wasn’t the most graceful dancing but it was enough. it made her happy. when her grandparents saw it, it made them happy. and when she showed it to her father, he smiled. it was the first time in a long time.

from then on, she gave her heart and soul to dancing. sometime during middle school, her father allowed her to go to workshops and hone her skill even more. by the time she graduated middle school, most people knew her as the dancer girl, and a few high school dance troupes even scouted her. that was how she moved back to seoul with her father and enrolled at sopa.

joining local competitions and ranking among the top five caught the eye of several companies. she auditioned to one on a whim and got accepted; that company was bc entertainment. she trained for 2 years, mostly to get her singing and rapping skills above average enough to fit in with their girl group concept at the time.

when the group first started out, she asked not to be featured too heavily into singing and rapping because she wasn’t confident about them enough. her voice wasn’t terrible but it lacked the power and charm in comparison to the other rappers and vocals in the group. even now, as the group continues to grow, she hasn’t made a lot of strides into developing those skills and has mostly stuck to dancing.

aside from being the known dance monster of the group, yeona is also a bit of a prankster. she only pulls harmless pranks like making faces in the background during a member’s interview. sometimes she gets called childish and silly, because it’s rare for her to take things seriously unless it’s really needed. she prefers keeping things lighthearted and fun. she’s also a bit of a touchy person, always initiating contact with the other members. when faced with senior groups, she’s more respectful of them, almost in a trance state of admiration for some.

CHARACTER INFORMATION

faceclaim: 2pm’s lee junho

legal name: hwang yejun

stage name: jun

pronouns: him/he

birth date: january 25th, 1992

hometown: south korea, ilsan

position: main vocal of decipher

claims: 

2012 / to the beautiful you / u  ♫

2016 / marriage contract / to you again ♫

2016-2017 / hwarang / the divine move ♫

2017 / because thsi is my first life / this life ♫

2018 / gangnam beauty / always you ♫

2018-2019 / sky castle / it has to be you ♫

2019 / vagabond / vagabond ♫

2020 / 18 again / moments make memories ♫

2020/2021 / true beauty / fall in you ♫

BIOGRAPHY

triggers: death

son yejun was raised by his grandmother, she passed away right before his debut and he almost dropped out of being a trainee despite having been there for so long, but he decided to stay at bc and debut- his grandmother had always wanted to see him perform on stage and that was what pushed him to debut and now he wouldn't trade it for the world - each time he stands on stage he feels like she's watching him.

he had always been a singer, ever since he was little - performed at multiple different contests and his grandmother was his biggest supporter -- in elementary and middle school he played multiple different sports but didn't find the one for him. then in middle school ( 2004 )  he auditioned for bc and got signed at the age of 13, despite the fact that his family's economic situation was what it was -- never having taking singing or dancing lessons. he got accepted despite that, a diamond in the rough; a charming face and a solid voice. all he needed was training in dancing and singing.

thankfully that wasn't hard for him to learn dancing, he put all of his efforts into practicing dance and it paid off-- if he was in any other group he might have been considered a lead dancer.

while in high school he had a few girlfriends ( and some male relationships that crossed some boundaries ) --  though only one of his relationship while in high school held any significance... it didn’t last, there was something missing and when his grandmother passed, he also felt that it wasn’t the right time for him to be in love. for his three years in high school, he never considered himself to be "in love" though he was sure, the ones that he dated felt love for him but yejun had always been the one to break up with the ones he might have dated.

CHARACTER INFORMATION

faceclaim: Kim Minjeong (Winter), member of æspa.

legal name: Michelle Rorin Chae

stage name: Rorin.

pronouns: She / her / hers.

birth date: Jun 20, 1999.

hometown: Valley Glen, CA.

position: Vocal, rapper of Chroma.

claims: None.

BIOGRAPHY

triggers: Mentions of slut-shaming; misogynistic comments; estranged relatives; allusions to addiction and abandonment.

( MICHELLE CHAE’s LIFE IN VIGNETTES ● FROM 1999 → PRESENT )

SCENE I. VALLEY GLEN, CA — Q4, 2007. UNDISCLOSED ICE SKATING RINK.

“She’s a natural on the ice; it’s incredible to me how quickly she picked things up. Has she ever done this before?” The instructor queries as she gazes out at Michelle; watching closely as she finds her balance and gains more confidence the longer that she can stay upright. Never having realized how graceful she is, she aligns her small limbs beautifully to assist in her glides—merely understanding how to hold her posture for better balance. “Y’know, you should really consider getting her a proper coach. It’s not often that a kid just... knows how to control themselves out there.”

Her mother listens, then nods; letting each suggestion sink in before responding. “Well, if she likes it, then we’ll have to consider it...” It’s a simple response that she hopes suffices, and while she would want nothing more than to support her daughter in discovering what she excels at, she can’t help but think about the money in the family bank account—and how it’s nowhere near as high as it should be given the amount of people in their household.

“Look, mom!” The little one yells from the center of the rink, being brave enough to raise one of her legs into an arabesque while she skates; somehow not tumbling over in the process. It’s in that moment when the instructor cheers, gobsmacked at the progress. “See what I mean?” It’s a lot to consider, especially as Heesun knows the cost of putting a child through such a rigorous training regiment. It’s not only paying out-of-pocket for the materials needed or making sure the coach is paid what their worth, but it’s also long hours practicing and grueling schedules. How on earth any child can sustain that while also attending school is unheard of to her, but all at once, she notices how wide Michelle smiles as she coasts, and it warms her heart.

“Do you have any recommendations? I can’t really afford to pay an arm and a leg for it at this time, but if it’s within reason, I think it would be good for her... so long as it doesn’t get in the way of her studies.” Nodding, her teacher guides her mother into her office, but that doesn’t stop the rising figure skater from continuing. Little does she know, she’s falling in love.

SCENE II. BOSTON, MA — Q1, 2014. THE TD GARDEN, ARENA.

“You’re going to do a great job! We’ve been practicing a lot, your routine is great, and even if I’m hard on you sometimes, I’m still really proud of you!” Her coach urges, and she nods, but she’s not really paying attention to anything that she’s saying. Instead, her eyes turn backwards to the bleachers—doing her best to see if her father had arrived to join her mother in the audience. It’s literal milliseconds before she’s set to take to the ice, but so far, there’s no sight of him. Back at home, he’s her biggest cheerleader, but whenever it comes to showing up at important events, he constantly fails, and unfortunately, that’s not his only flaw either. Now that she’s gotten a little bit older, Michelle understands why her mom and dad don’t talk much, even if it’s only recently that they all sit in silence at the dinner table.

Right on time, the announcer calls her name and she rises; gliding over to her mark. She’s upset knowing that he’s not in attendance, but she does her best to suppress all of her emotions.

Like coach always says: “Now’s not that the time for that.”

Taking a deep breath, she easily finds her opening pose and holds it strong; powerful. So many thoughts race through her mind in that instant. She thinks about the choreography she’s spent months learning. She thinks about the plans that her mother made for after they’re done at the rink. She thinks about her dad and what he’s up to... and right then, almost as if to snap her out of her trance, the music starts pounding through the speakers—muscle memory kicking into high-gear to guide her through each detailed motion. It’s a release of her emotions through her body, and it’s in these moments where she feels the most free.

What’s unfortunate is that this rush of adrenaline never lasts as long as she’d like it to, and only after a few minutes, she’s back to where she began, but now poised in her final position.

Skating back towards her coach, Michelle takes her seat once more; a blanket draped softly over her shoulders for warmth. When her scores are revealed, they’re the same as always: fair. While she’s typically relieved to sit pretty in the middle, today, she responds negatively to them; feeling as though all of her hard work didn’t add up to a well-deserved win.

She also blames her father for promising that he’d finally make an appearance as her official “good luck charm” only to forsake her yet again.

Michelle spends the rest of that evening pensively staring out of windows; text messages arriving from her dad—all apologizing for not being able to make his flight after work.

SCENE III. VALLEY GLEN, CA — Q3, 2016. ULYSSES S. GRANT HIGH SCHOOL.

STUDENT A: “Gross... she comes across as so desperate, like...” STUDENT B: “I don’t understand what guys see in her, she’s obnoxious!” STUDENT C: “Yeah like, she still acts like she’s in seventh grade.” STUDENT D: “Hey, wait—didn’t she used to figure skate?” STUDENT A: “That’s right! I heard she had to stop ‘cause she’s broke now.” STUDENT D: “Desperate, cheap, slutty... guess that’s Michelle Chae for ya.”

—

Dad started to sell their personal belongings in order to feed his newly discovered habit. Mom was driven wild. It didn’t take long for things to explode, and with the end of their relationship came a screeching halt to Michelle’s figure skating career. With her father no longer being an active part of her life, she and her mother barely made end’s meat—barely seeing one another due to the lengthy hours they both worked to pay the bills. She’s only seventeen and instead of saving money for college, she puts every penny towards supporting her family. She spends so much time being responsible that she deeply sacrifices any personal pleasures and friendships.

Then again, it’s not like people at school are clamoring to get to know her.

From an early age, she knew that she got along better with boys as opposed to girls. In truth, Michelle spent a lot of time around other figure skaters ( most of which were female ) that often treated her poorly, so she’s learned not to really trust members of the same sex easily. Most of the time, those “friendships” turned into gross competitions, camaraderie devolved into petty rivalries, and honestly, she absolutely fucking hated it.

In her heart of hearts, she knows that it’s not good to alienate herself from other girls, and it’s something she works on, but at the same time, because of her close friendship with many of her school’s male students, some of her peers refer to her as a “whore” and a “slut,” and sadly, this label has stuck with her since middle school. Some say that she’s too sweet which makes her “easy.” Others say she’s fake and has stolen many boyfriends—which isn’t accurate at all.

Honestly, Michelle has ever understood the rumors. If boys gave her their attention and made her feel special, why should she be “burned at the stake” for engaging with them? For simply finding pleasure in their gazes; their touches? Instead of being embraced by the frigid cool, she’s wrapped up in the strong arms of a lover—that same rush of adrenaline now found in-between bedsheets as opposed to anywhere near a skating rink.

The downside to all of this, though? She falls in love far too easily, and more often than not, her heart ends up broken—and sometimes, it’s all her own fault.

SCENE IV. SEOUL, KR — Q2, 2020. SEOUL NATIONAL UNIVERSITY.

“Sorry!” Michelle exclaims, in English, to a passerby she accidentally bumped into—completely lost on her first day. It was her mom’s idea for her to attend school ( for at least two semesters, anyway ) in Seoul, and even though she was really hesitant at first, she thought that it might be a great opportunity to learn more about where she’s from. That, and well, she’d be able to see her grandparents way more often, especially since they’re getting older. That being said, it’s not been an easy transition, and the culture shock is rampant.

Luckily, she knows how to read and write the language, but that’s about as far as it goes. She’s embarrassingly American—her seniors often view her as rude and loud, but she has absolutely no idea about any of the social customs ( and spoiler alert: still doesn’t ) and knows that she fucks up a lot. Despite this, she fails to truly pick up on them, even after she’s been corrected.

After trying to find her first class, she takes a wrong turn and ends up back where she started—and as she groans in annoyance, someone calls out to her from behind; prompting her to turn around. When she sees a slightly older man approach her, she offers a grin, then a sloppy bow.

“Are you talking to me?” She asks, tilting her head gently; curiously. “Yes! I’m sorry to bother, but I think you might be just who I’m looking for!” “I... don’t think I know what you mean?” Michelle questions, a little creeped out.

Later that week, she attends an audition to join an entertainment company, and even though she has never had training in singing or rapping, she miraculously makes it in... and decides then to skip out on her nursing degree in favor of a totally risky once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

That being said, her mom’s going to be beyond livid.

SCENE V. SEOUL, KR — Q1, 2021. BC ENTERTAINMENT HQ.

Having only started training in April of the year prior, it’s not even been one year since Michelle began her training, so when she’s called into the talent manager’s office, she’s not expecting to hear any good news. After all, she’s constantly being told that she’s lacking in comparison to the other trainees, so how on earth could she have earned a chance to début? She knows a girl group’s being formed and that some of the others she’s trained with have already been given slots, and have even recorded promotional singles. Needless to say, she’s not feeling especially confident.

She takes the seat offered to her and does her best to be respectful, and when she’s informed that she’s been selected as a member for their upcoming project, she thought it was a joke.

“What?” She asks, gobsmacked, and the manager further explains why she’s chosen. In essence—well, at least from what she remembers—he said that she has great potential, and her skills in English, her unique vocal color, and willingness to learn are all assets to the group in various fashions. Stunned, all she could do was nod and agree with him; realizing then and there that this is actually happening to her. In what seemed like no time whatsoever, she’ll be standing on-stage as a somebody. She’ll be thrust in front of cameras and made completely vulnerable to the public. Truth be told, she thought she’d be working hard for a few years before getting a chance to become an idol, but now, it’s consuming all of her reality at a rapid pace.

As scared as she is, she hopes that being given yet another rare opportunity will convince her mom that this is a good idea. She also hopes that she’s able to pull off the image that they’ve discussed for her—one that rivals that of Snow White and Alice In Wonderland as far as purity is concerned. It’s no secret that she’s a bit rough around the edges, so she’s terrified.

CHARACTER INFORMATION

faceclaim: park minkyun (mk), member of onf

legal name: kim joohyun

stage name: joon

pronouns: he/him

birth date: november 16, 1995

hometown: seoul

position:  group leader, hip hop unit leader, main rapper of charm

claims: n/a

BIOGRAPHY

triggers: mental health, social anxiety

to some people games can be a nice addition to life, something to fill out the empty spaces of time during boredom or something to bond over with friends. to others they become something that control your life.

from an early age on, joohyun had always enjoyed playing games. from the early machines to much more advanced technology later on, he’s been through pretty much everything by now. other than a fondness for sitting in his room alone with a console in his hand, he was always a pretty ordinary child. he had average grades and although he was never a genius or the popular kid, he wasn’t dumb either, and he wasn’t anymore of an outcast that he made himself.

as time passed however, he found it harder and harder to socialise with those around him. in middle school where the other guys started talking about the girls, where they started looking down on him for still playing around, when the girls thought he was incredibly tacky and lame was the start of his downfall. one day of absence turned into another, many more until he finally stopped coming altogether.

his parents divorcing at an early age, his mother was always busy with work to pay the bills and save up; she had a grand idea that joohyun was going to enter a fancy university in the future and get a big education and never have to worry about anything in life again either, but that also meant she never actually had time for him. thus he hid away in games. in games he could be anything. a hero, a villain, a lover, an ace in life – anything he wanted to.

the more he hid away, the more his social anxiety developed to the point where, when his mother was finally alerted by the school, it was already far too late and he could barely exit the house without getting hit by nausea and anxiety. although he should have been kicked out of the school, he got a special deal where he could finish his homework and exams from home – the school didn’t want to have failed a child either and get a bad reputation from that, so provided he didn’t talk about it openly and promised he’d be better in high school, he got a pass.

he did get the pass, but he didn’t get any better in high school. mental health still a big taboo in south korea it wasn’t that easy to get help – and help was also expensive. instead he continued his bad habits, continuously worrying his mother and annoying his teachers. when he was halfway through his freshman year at high school, his homeroom teacher had already deemed him a rebel and was ready to throw him out for not showing to class even once.

this was also when everything started to change though. to joohyun his classmates weren’t supposed to care about him or know he even existed, so when one of them one day stood at his doorstep, joohyun was confused to say the least. he introduced himself and insisted that he wanted to see the mysterious classmate no one knew what looked like, and immediately upon hearing that, joohyun shut the door on him.

that should have been the end of their interactions, but this guy was rather stubborn it appeared, and with much time and effort he began dragging joohyun out of his comfort zone behind the screens. it started with late night visits to the local convenience stores and before he even knew it, joohyun found himself capable of going outside with the other’s help. eventually he even conquered the biggest hurdle of going back to school, although he felt incredibly bad for being so wholly dependent on someone else. close to the final exams of their freshman year, joohyun had fulfilled a month of no tardies, no absences, and that was when he confessed. it was weird he felt, them both being male, but he couldn’t deny that he was interested in delving further into the feelings he had and realise if there was something more than dependance in there.

turned out there was. as joohyun became more and more free from the prison he had put himself in, his feelings grew stronger and stronger, and he decided that even if he didn’t care about himself, he cared about the other too much to neglect himself again and fall back into anxiety. too bad that his advances were misunderstood as a friendly approach causing him to forget about love for the time being and focus on his studies. but he was so far behind in school now that he actually was dumb by normal standards, only barely scraping by, so he knew very well that getting into a fancy university like his mother wanted him to was a utopia. beside he didn’t want to study and go to school any more.

with his video game experience, joohyun could probably easily become a streamer, but he didn’t want to do something that could risk enabling him to fall back into everything. so, based on a joke, he auditioned for bc entertainment in his second year of high school, and, to his surprise was actually offered a training contract. for a rare change he felt wanted.

training wasn’t easy, especially not when he had no particular experience in the areas other than karaoke games and just dance. honestly he didn’t understand how he had made it, but he kept being told that all that mattered wasn’t the how but the fact that he had made it.

CHARACTER INFORMATION

faceclaim: lee hoseok (wonho), soloist

legal name: lee jongho

stage name: LJ

pronouns: he/him

birth date: october 31st, 1993

hometown: seoul, south korea

position: maknae, main dancer, vocal of decipher

claims: - hit the stage season 1 - supporting role in the webdrama ‘wednesday 3:30′ as yang taekyung, may 31st - june 14th, 2017 - supporting role in ‘my id is gangnam beauty’ as seo yoojin, july 27th - september 18th, 2018 - lead role in ‘18 again’ as (young) hong daeyoung / go wooyoung, september 21st - november 10th, 2020

BIOGRAPHY

triggers: domestic violence, infidelity, depression, anxiety, self hate, body shaming, toxic relationships.

violence is something that was introduced to jongho at a very young age. his parents, while they never laid a hand on him other than to give him a hug, didn’t extend the same courtesy unto each other. despite claiming to be in love with one another, their spats and arguments were lethal around the lee household. one of jongho’s earliest memories was sitting in the middle of the living room floor, surrounded by his toys with his younger sibling in their playpen just a few feet away from him. he was just in the process of dangling one of his teddy bears over his sibling’s head when he heard the sound of breaking glass and two voices shouting at each other. there was a loud thump and the a yelp before the arguing got even louder, to the point of his sibling breaking out into tears.

up until that point he had been too scared and stunned into silence to do anything, but the sound of his sibling crying made him move into action. as quick as his little five year old legs could move, he was hoisting himself up and into their playpen, laying down next to them and wrapping a protective arm around them, as if he could protect them from the yelling going on in the next room. that was a position that they would find themselves taking several times over the next few years.

to those on the outside looking in, the lee family was admired and respected. coming from a long line of money dating back several generations on both sides, jongho’s parents didn’t marry each other for love. despite it being the modern age, the two of them were betrothed to one another by their two families from a young age. in order to keep their wealth and help it grow, their families, who have been friendly for several generations, decided that the two of them would be the perfect couple to continue on their legacy. unfortunately the two of them didn’t get along, and never learned how to despite having three children with one another. the third and final child came when jongho was eight years old, and by then, even at his young age, he had accepted that was just how relationships were. couples fought and argued, and sometimes things would get aggressive and violent. that was just how things were.

having seeing how his parents treated one another over the years definitely had some kind of harsh effect on him. he hated arguments of any kind, between his parents or anyone else, and would always act as a buffer for people who were going back and forth with one another. he hated seeing people fight, it filled him with that dreadful, anxious feeling that he had whenever his parents got into fights. his home life was a constant source of stress for him.

he loved his parents more than anything, but they never seemed to understand that their behavior was having a negative effect not only on him, but on his younger siblings as well. it had gotten to the point where he tried to stay away from home for as long as possible. he would leave for school early in the morning, hang out with friends afterwards, do his homework at a cafe and sit around in the cafe until they either closed or until an employee or a manager kicked him out, then he would finally go home.

it was around the age of eleven that he found something that could occupy his time; dancing. at first the dance classes he signed up for was just an excuse to not be at home. three hours after school everyday and three hours on saturdays? it was almost too good to be true. but it wasn’t until a few months into it that he realized that he actually liked dancing. like really, really liked dancing. and he was a natural at it too. he liked dancing because not only was it fun to do, but it got him the praise and attention he didn’t feel like he got much of back at home. with his father working most of the time and his mother either out with the other wealthy mothers or drowning her sorrows in glasses of wine during the day, that validation that most children needed was left unattended to.

he was just thirteen years old when he decided that he wanted to audition for bc entertainment. his decision was all thanks to an idol group that he’d seen promoting early one morning on a music show, and he was enamored from the moment they stepped on the stage. they looked so cool and confident, but most of all, they were loved. people loved them, they cheered for them and chanted their names. jongho wanted that so badly, he would have done anything to have it. it didn’t take much convincing from his parents to let him audition. his father was too busy to really care, and his mother.. well, she was too drunk to really notice that he was gone for most of the day, so she definitely wouldn’t care that much.

his dancing was his saving grace during his audition. they offered him a position as a trainee, which he happily accepted and afterwards his parents signed all the paperwork to seal the deal. training was, for lack of a better word, intense. and it wasn’t the dancing part of it, no, jongho had long since gotten used to how tiring and physically demanding dancing could be. no, it was the singing aspect of it all. jongho didn’t have a natural singing voice. he never sang before in his life, and he had a bad ear for music. most of the year spent and a half he spent training was dedicated to helping him find his voice and develop an ear for music and singing. by the time he debuted with decipher, he was still lacking in the vocal department, but the others shined, especially the vocal line, enough to help pick up where he slacked off.

being apart of decipher was everything he could have hoped for. after years of being the one who had to take care of his younger siblings, he was finally the younger sibling that was being taken care of. he enjoyed being the baby of the group, relishing in his status as the maknae and using it to his full advantage whenever the opportunity arose. even though he got a little bit of flack for his vocals, people merely just wrote it off as him being so young. and eventually, he did get better and better until he was more on par with his group members vocally.

it was around 2010 that things started to change again. he began dating a girl, someone from another idol group that was of average popularity. things were great in the beginning, until she started to change. she began to get more and more irritable with him, and more mean as well. she would openly look at other guys and tell him how she wished he looked more like them, how she wished he was more manly, like them. obviously it was a blow to his self esteem. the fact that his own girlfriend was telling him that she preferred how other guys looked was something that continuously nagged at him for weeks and months on end until he decided to do something about. he began working out more, building up more definition on his body. but that wasn’t enough for her, it seemed, because after their third year anniversary, the day after actually, she ended up dumping him.

his second relationship was just as bad, if not worse, as his first. it was rather short lived compared to the first, his time with the second girl only lasting just about a year and a half. this girl was more aggressive than his previous girlfriend. she reminded him of his mother and father and how they used to get into spats with one another. despite his physical appearance, jongho had never been a violent or aggressive person, especially towards people smaller than him, so he just took whatever she flung at him, accepting it because that was how he thought relationships were supposed to be.

the ending of that relationship brought about a new year as well. it was 2017, and decipher were more or less on a hiatus. jongho took that as his opportunity to expand his horizons. music was fun for him, but being a soloist was never something he wanted. he wasn’t that great of a singer, not good enough to be solo that is, and he liked performing with his group members. he didn’t want to experience being onstage without them. he set his sights on something he had never considered before - acting.

he started out small and simple; a supporting role in a web drama. since the web drama didn’t get too much traction, he didn’t really hear any feedback from the public, but he enjoyed it quite a lot. more than he thought he would, which prompted him to try to do it more and more. he went out for another role, this time in an actual drama. and this time, the drama actually did get a bit of traction.

he didn’t get the best reviews, that was for sure. while not necessarily ripping his acting to shreds, they did give him heavy criticisms, which jongho took to heart. he hated being judged harshly and not making people proud. it was almost enough to make him quit acting altogether. almost. while jongho was sensitive, he was stubborn as hell. he wanted to prove to people that he could do it. he could be a good actor. he could make them proud.

so from the end of 2018 and all through 2019, he took acting classes. in between comebacks and schedules for decipher, he squeezed in acting classes, trying to better his skills before he stepped into the world of acting once again.

CHARACTER INFORMATION

faceclaim: im changkyun (i.m) member of monsta x

legal name: lee alexander

stage name: jace

pronouns: he/him, they/them

birth date: 26/01/1998

hometown: london, uk

position: vocal unit leader, lead vocal of charm

claims: n/a

BIOGRAPHY

triggers: mentions of blood, anxiety, stress

alex was part of a creative family. his parents, his grandparents, they were all part of something related to arts. it was only natural for him to follow their footsteps.

there were many options he could have taken - theater, dance, tv, the list goes on. anything alex wanted to give a go, he could, thanks to his family and their connections. however, there was something no one in his family had done. become an idol. in reality, this dream came out of 12 year old alex's mouth at a rather nice dinner with his parents. he doesn't even remember their reactions in all honesty.

however, what his parents were good at was never forgetting anything their kid said or did. good or bad. what did was their take on this dream their one and only son had? ship him to his grandparents in south korea like an amazon prime package, so that alex could be able to achieve this goal of his. he was only fourteen when that happen, and to this very day, he doesn’t know how his parents actually agreed to this. truth to be told, he had forgotten to some extend that he ever told them he wanted to be an idol. he didn’t back down, he decided to go with it. what could go wrong?

on the contrary, there was a lot that went wrong. starting for the fact of the huge culture shock, the language barrier and accent at times, well, most of the times. it was a challenge that alex never really knew how to back down, it wasn't even a when. the stubbornness to prove himself to his parents was his main driving force. he never was the type to complain either, so he just sucked it up and moved forward. it was all he had to do, along with some blood, sweat and tears.

lucky for him, he found himself signed to bc entertainment not long after. it was actually long after that, but to alex, time was a construct either way. it was pretty big step to his dream in his opinion. it’s was not an easy step or flight of stairs, but he made his way through training. there were many many things that happened while he was a trainee. he remembers most of the sleepless nights spend training, the early mornings that were filled with school work and repeating it. for quite a few years as well, it didn't come as a surprise, alex did make quite the transformation during his trainee days.

from the dance prodigy his teachers in the uk had labeled him, to a composer, producer, lyricist and a singer. quite the trajectory change if you asked anyone who knew him. he dropped his sneaker for a guitar. he went from the kid that didn't know how to communicate his feelings and frustrations, to someone who was able to publish songs for his group, for the public to listen. if you asked him the question "what do you think your 12 year old self would say to seeing what you do nowadays?" alex's answer would forever be "that i'm fucking lame." and laugh it off. because really, nothing would have made 12 year old him let go of dancing. nothing until he joined bc entertainment.

alex doesn't regret it. he still gets to dance as much as the others, well, maybe not as the performance unit, but he was up there. he definitely enjoyed spending time in the studio alone with his thoughts and the equipment, it was a lot easier on his joints, in his humble opinion. as stupid as it might sound.