akldsjfkl yeah

So that night was a lot... I've tagged it bbmas 2015 if you wanna look through my tag. There's also a video at the top if you erase the %202015 and just go to the bbmas tag where you can see how out of it he is, and his head snaps when he hears her name in the background.

So for context here: 

This was the first time they were publicly in the same place since they were caught by paps at a hotel in January after Caleb Followill’s birthday party.

It was the night the Bad Blood MV premiered, which premiered at the beginning of the show. As in everyone watching the broadcast and everyone in the room watched the Bad Blood video as the official start of the show. 

The last time they were at the same awards show was the AMAs in 2014 where he whistled for her when she won the Dick Clark Excellence Award.

We all knew about tayvin, obviously, but this was a HUGE step for their relationship and for Taylor in relationships in general

So that night, Taylor was the start of the show. The Billboard Music Awards are dictated by the charts and Taylor was the queen of the charts. Because of this, they sat her LITERAL front and center so she didn’t have to walk very far when she won. This was the first awards show ever she attended with a boyfriend. Calcium was there as an artist too, not as her date, but they were seated next to each other and their PDA that night was BY FAR the most PDA she’d ever shown when she knew people were watching. He could NOT stop touching her and she craved it. 

Anyway, it stung. A lot. Most of all for Harry. The haylor fandom all underestimated how badly it would hurt to see Taylor with someone new.. But we also didn’t know how serious tayvin was. It was a huge punch in the gut to see how serious they were.  Being public and commitment were big issues in haylor’s relationship, as we can hear in both their music about it. And it certainly felt like Taylor was rubbing it in Harry’s face, how she was getting serious with this guy and it wasn’t like that with Harry. The PDA that night felt almost weaponized. After the show, Taylor liked several posts about how the best part of the night was that she got to be affectionate with her boyfriend.

I was devastated after that and I have often cited that night being the start of my 1989 disconnect because she literally seemed to care more about having a boyfriend than she did her own accomplishments.

Harry took this very personally. One Direction won two awards that night and for both of them, you can see Harry trying SO hard to look ANYWHERE but in front of the stage. The second time they’re up there when they won top tour, his lip quivers slightly and if you zoom in, you see his eyes are watery. The man was holding back tears.

The whole time, Harry was.... not his best. In several red carpet interviews, you can see him completely zoned out and either actively snarky, or attempt to prematurely end the interview... Like he just wanted to be done and go home. 

The official story was that Harry was sick and not feeling well. There’s one story of him walking by a group of people holding a haylor sign and he stopped to take a picture with them. He didn’t stop for any other fans all night. 

taylor swift [bbmas 2015] icons

This was Harry a day after the 2015 BBMAs in LA looking totally glum and miserable 🤣 He didn’t even bother dressing up like he usually does.