#bbcm sefa

Gwen shook her head and dropped all the loops of thread. The array of colors tangled more than the aimless mess she had already made. She couldn't find her mind to stay in place knowing that Arthur and Elyan were out riding right towards Morgana's grasp. 

“My Lady?”

She turned towards the voice and found Sefa stood at the threshold of the door, hands clasped and shoulders lowered in her normal manner.

“May I?” Sefa gestured to the mess of weaved thread. 

The braid was already falling apart from lack of tension but Gwen nodded her head. “Please.”

Sefa kneeled, carding her fingers through the threads and detangling it all back to the start.

Gwen rested a hand on her shoulder when she pulled to get back up. “Join me? Meant for two people after all.”

She nodded and picked up the threads all while Guinevere slotted her own hands into position. She freed her fore finger and weaved it through before pulling the opposite thread across. 

Sefa gave her a fleeting smile as she reached through the threads around her fingers and pulled the farthest to her side. The both of them reset.

“Did your old maidservant used to help you?”

“No.” Gwen pulled and tightened the threads. “I wasn't always the queen.”

“Surely you were just as fine a princess?”

She brushed Sefa's hand and pulled the thread through. “Neither a princess,” she said. 

“Oh.” Sefa stopped before tightening her own threads.

“I was The Lady Morgana's maidservant.”

She pulled her part through and nodded. “Yes, of course.”

The slow start grew quicker as they let repetition take over. The braid formed a start before Sefa slowed and spoke.

“Actually…” She brushed her hand. “If I may speak freely, your majesty?”

“Of course.”

Sefa took a breath and kept her head down as she continued. “I just want to thank you. Most of all for taking me in.”

Gwen stopped and looked at the girl, finding nothing short of earnest on her face as she spoke.

“Not everyone would do such a thing, much less with a position in the royal house.” Sefa looked up with a content smile. “I am indebted to you.”

Gwen shared her smile but shook her head. “Not me,” she said. “I'm the least in the crown of judgment.” She transferred the thread over the others and pulled it through.

“Perhaps the kingdom is only as kind as its queen.”

She started off at the knot at the top of the formed braid, holding everything together. She tried to hold longer onto Sefa's words but found her head flooded quicker with her previous thoughts.

“My Lady?”

“Hm?” She hummed, another plastered smile of courtesy on her face.

Sefa moved her hands and gestured to the threads. “Your turn.”

Daegal wasn't a morning person; he quickly learned, being around others who were. The four druids all were always up at the first break of the sun with no regard for the sleeping birds. Merlin and most of the others were used to being up early hours with being servants of the castle and all. Gilli, Will, Drea, Tristan and Isolde were used to either being up early to help around the small villages or constantly being on alert and moving, much the past bandits they were.

And he… well he was used to living in the forest, alone for most of his life. He woke up when he woke up and knew where to sleep to stay out of trouble. Lamia agreed with him when she was able to get some type of sleep and memories of her past didn't plague her. Though he usually was alone in his protest against the morning dawn.

Rustling was heard as he attempted to throw his blanket over his head against the movement around the room. He'd regret sleeping between Mordred and Kara the night before; what at the time had brought him safety and comfort, now brought him wallowing agony and self-pity of his demise. Despite their carefulness to not wake him, it was inevitable.

"Kids," he heard Will call as footsteps grew closer, "breakfast." A bout of silence passed which he presumed held the others' responses before he heard his name.

"Daegal…"

"I'm going!" He groaned. There were a few chuckles around the room before Will left. He lingered for a few seconds, taking in the last bit of his relaxation of the night before the blankets were thrown off and he braced himself against the sun. Though Daegal immediately stopped what he was doing as he heard Sefa groan.

"Had to be now," she complained to Kara who gave her a sympathetic look.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes sweetheart," she reassured him, "just that time of the month."

He furrowed his eyebrows, not exactly sure what she meant by that time of the month. But he felt something akin to panic as he saw blood on the front of her nightgown. He hardly had time to react or say anything before she had grabbed clean clothes and gone out the door.

He didn't understand why she was bleeding and if she was hurt why she didn't say anything to any of them. Though he remembered the previous night at supper overhearing Sefa telling Kara that her stomach was hurting. She had left to lay down early, though Freya and Isolde had left to check up on her later on.

"Is she hurt?" He asked to the room, in hope that someone would respond. Instead, all he got was confused glances as they all finished getting ready.

"What?" Gilli questioned with a chuckle in his voice.

Lamia cocked her head, "why would she be hurt?"

"She's bleeding."

"Daegal, it's just that time," Kara tried to explain. Putting strain on her worths once again as if he understood.

His heart quickened as he swallowed. That time sounded more like a death sentence than anything and his trust in the Druids and their secretive prophecies and whatnot made it all worse.

"Is she gonna die?" He stood and looked towards where Sefa had gone.

"You're being silly," Drea chided him, "She's fine."

"But—"

"She's a woman, it's normal," Eoghan replied while tying his shoes.

"But she—she's not dying?"

"Why would she be dying, Daegal?" Mordred smiled and brushed off what everyone presumed was Daegal being a victim to early morning drowsiness.

Gilli scoffed, "the girls would say otherwise."

"We would say otherwise," Kara agreed jokingly. Though Daegal continued to look between them, confused, worried about Sefa, and unsure why his friends were laughing over something that didn't seem like a laughing matter. He swallowed harder as his throat began to ache. Mordred spared him another glance but double taked, his expression grew serious and yet softened at the same time.

"Sweetheart," he spoke in a careful tone as he closed the space and laid his hands on his upper arms. "Do you know what we're talking about?"

Daegal hesitated before he shook his head. He wished he did as it all seemed plausible to them and that someone wasn't scheming to kill someone he cared about.

The room dropped to a breathing silence as Mordred's eyes flickered back and forth on his face. "You're not joking are you?"

A hushed oh was the only noise as Daegal sniffled and shook his head in response.

"Shh, she's alright." All humour from before was gone from their voices and the atmosphere surrounding the situation as Mordred pulled him into a hug.

"So she won't die?"

"No, Daegal, it's normal for a woman to bleed like that."

He sniffed again and pulled back to look at Mordred, "Why?"

"Uh…" Mordred opened his mouth yet no words came out. "W—well…" he pursed his lips before catching Kara in his sight and looking to her for help.

"We're gonna go check up on Sefa," she smiled while Drea and Lamia were already out the door before her.

"Kara!" He whined.

She gave him a sympathetic smile. "Not my area of… expertise," she quickly said before following the other two.

"Gilli? Eoghan?" He looked towards the two remaining people.

They exchanged a look before Gilli spoke, "we'll get someone's help."

"Please."

They both ran out the door as he brought his hands up and wiped tears away from Daegal's cheeks. "Everything's alright, love."

Nearby footsteps brought relief to Mordred's ears as the door was thrown open revealing Merlin and Will.

"What's going on?" Will quickly questioned.

Merlin looked around, "where're the girls?"

"Sefa's gonna die," Daegal mumbled

Merlin's eyes widened, "die?"

"She's okay," Mordred quickly jumped in and reassured to the alarming statement.

"But she's bleeding out."

"Bleeding out?!" Will repeated.

Mordred sighed, "everyone's okay, I promise."

Gilli quickly pulled Will and Merlin to the side, little explaining of the situation with realization as he saw Merlin take a sharp breath and Will cover his mouth with his hand. They exchanged a look with a deep exhale before turning back to them.

"Daegal, honey. Come here," Merlin called him with open arms.

Daegal reluctantly let go of Mordred and went to Merlin. Brought into a short deep hug first before being pushed back at arm's length, Merlin ducked his head so they were eye to eye. "Sefa isn't hurt okay? I promise you, she's alright."

He nodded, though, not much convinced.

"Come on, kiddo," Will slung his arm around him. "We need to have a little talk and explain some things."

Merlin turned towards where Mordred was still standing and waved him over, "Mordred, come."

"Why me?!" He exclaimed.

"Because he's scared and upset and is the closest to you, now come on." He dragged him in all reluctance as they left the room. The next entered and occupied with Freya who already had Will updating her on the situation. Her eyes widened for a second before she replaced the expression with a kind smile.

They stepped back as Daegal sat down at the table in the centre of the room, wrapped in a hug by Mordred who was standing behind him.

Will groaned, "why don't you ask Hunith for help, she gave you and me this talk."

"I already asked. She said something along the lines of "your kid, your problems"," Merlin sighed. "Besides, how hard can it be?"

They turned towards them, seeing Mordred trying to comfort and calm Daegal, he looked far smaller than they both remembered. Tears streaked and brushed from his red-tinted cheeks with his usual baggy fitted clothes. The pleading look of confusion and hurt upon his face didn't make it any better either.

Letting a minute pass more, they walked and sat across from him, probably more nervous than Daegal was.

"Listen Daegal…" Merlin started, exchanging a look with Will. "When two people love each other very much, they decide to… you know."

Mordred ducked his head as he tried to stop himself from laughing.

"Mordred." Freya lightly chided him with a break of a smile on her face.

"Sorry," he apologized while he smoothed back Daegal's hair. Getting his still messy hair in order before he reached down and wiped away the dampness on his cheeks.

"You know?" Will mocked Merlin's usage of the term.

"What am I supposed to say?!"

"Not you know."

Merlin scoffed, "Oh, like you can do any better."

"Well, I wouldn't say you know to someone who obviously doesn't know!"

"You two are supposed to be helping, not making things worse," Mordred scolded them.

He inwardly groaned before he bent down and grabbed Daegal's attention towards him. "You know people can love each other a lot, yeah?"

He nodded.

"It's a certain type of love though. It's not the same as when Merlin, Will, Gwen, Freya and others here tell you we love you, but when people like Arthur and Gwen, Tristan and Isolde, or Merlin and Freya-"

"Were not—"

"Or Merlin and Freya say it to each other… that is another type of love." He ignored Merlin's protest as he grabbed Daegal's hand in his. "And sometimes, people who love each other like that want to have children together."

He received another nod.

Mordred took a breath, "well, that is why Sefa was bleeding."

"She's having a baby!"

"No, no sweetheart, she's not with child—well… no, no, never mind—uh…"

Both Will and Merlin stifled a chuckle at their turn to mock Mordred's word usage.

Freya sighed and marched forward as she smacked both men on the back of the head.

Will hissed, "What was that for?"

"Both of you out, now!"

"What about Mordred?" Merlin complained.

"Now," she repeated. "You two are clearly incapable of doing this."

They looked at one another before taking their leave and waiting outside. The door slammed behind them with the situation now in the safety of Freya's hands which they trusted more than their own.

A few more minutes passed before they heard the quiet mumble of Freya's voice stop. Daegal's, quick to follow in small meek questions.

Soon Sefa appeared around the corner, frantic in search until she saw them. "Kara told me what happened, where is he?"

Sefa was quick to the door as they gestured, knocking long forgotten as she rushed in. "Daegal?" A pitiful smile graced her face as he looked up at her. Eyes red-rimmed of what she could see that wasn't immediately covered by his hand to rub away the remnants of his tears.

Freya and Mordred both smiled before they left the room, leaving her alone with him.

She bent to his height where he was sitting and pulled him gently close, "I'm okay."

"I know that now," he mumbled into her dress.

He felt her shoulders shake a bit from a small chuckle. "It's not funny."

"No, it's not sweetheart," she pulled back and stroked his hair down. "You poor sweet boy."

"Come on, love," she grabbed his hands. "Let's go do something and try to forget all this." She paused, "Well…"

Daegal looked up from his dagger, noticing the absent noise of Mordred sharpening his blade. He was staring off at Sefa and Kara who were some ways away. Giggling with one another, cheeks flushed from laughter not noticing Mordred's far off stare, supported with a soft smile.

"Something on your mind?" He questioned when the content expression on Mordred's face fell. The soft smile was no more and the longing gaze became downcasted.

Mordred quickly turned to him. Answering with a shake of his head and a smile rather than words as he returned back to sharpening his blade.

"Something else then?" 

He stopped. Fiddled with the stone in his hand, before returning to sharpening. Daegal took it as a sign that the Druid didn't want to talk. Knowing the usually reserved, and shy Druid's actions as if they were his own. Thought, somewhat of a surprise to him occurred when Mordred took a breath and began to talk.

"We all were close," He said, "grew up together."

"Kara, Sefa, and I…." The grating noise of the rock against metal continued as he talked, while Daegal put down his own.

"She had left when we were all pretty young, Sefa that is." Daegal looked towards the girls. Both erupting into another bout of laughter that carried in the wind. Their dresses billowing, while wisps of hair flew about from both the girls and the dark curls of the Druid in front of him.

"Her father disapproved of our Druid morals."

"Which left me and Kara." Mordred took somewhat of a sigh. 

"Feelings were… explored." Mordred judged his own usage of words. Replaying it in his head too many times for just a couple of seconds, making sure it didn't prove too obvious.

"But nothing outside of the normal of what we considered normal." If only he could say what the Druids thought was normal. For his normal was all means for execution in Camelot, among other unspeakable punishments.

"You loved Kara," Daegal said. Almost as if asking if his understanding of the conversation so far was correct.

"Loved," Mordred repeated, "I will always love Kara. No more, nor less."

"And she, the same of I, no more or no less." The words that were spoken in the forest he and her had both dreamed of. Even years before, her seeds of attraction were planted and then years later Mordred's of his own as well.

"But feelings were had, and done, and settled."

"Then Why do you look so sad?" Daegal asked with a frown.

"Because," he answered softly and struck the stone against his blade again, "it's something that some people just can't have."

And again.

"Something I fear no person in Camelot would understand."

And again.

"Something I fear even you wouldn't understand." He stopped. He hesitated with every syllable he had spoken. Thinking before letting the words fall heavy for Daegal to answer to.

"I'm always here." Daegal supplied ever so kindly, as he was. Mordred couldn't help but smile at him, a light huff escaping also.

"You are, Daegal," He said, "you are always here." He reached and ruffled his hair. Daegal all but whining his name and trying to swipe his hand away.

"Come on," Mordred stood up, "let's get inside."

Daegal nodded his head, following after. Reminding Mordred that not so long ago, Merlin had compared the younger boy to that of a duckling. Following Mordred around every step he took, with Merlin and Freya all but guiding the two to eventually have a heart-to-heart.

He sheathed his sword and went to do the same for his dagger, finding it not there. "Go on ahead I'll catch up, I forgot my dagger." The latter did so as Mordred turned back around.

The setting sun now face to face with him resembling that of a field of leaves comes Autumn. He had seen the sun, the stars, and the moon time and time again. Yet it never grew boring.

Watched the sun and moon play their cat and mouse game. Chasing and chasing, but never to meet one another. Though he remembered that the Druid elders told him of a time. That for one day, for a mere handful of minutes. They met. Their forbidden love, if one could say, was allowed for such a time so short, hardly enough to call it their hello and goodbye.

He bent down and picked up his dagger, placing it in its rightful place. Two things that were made to fit too well together, such as a dagger and the scabbard. Or the moon and sun. Things that couldn't be imagined without the other. A hello and goodbye.

And if Mordred could argue, the view he was witnessing. The picturesque veil of orange, yellow, and red hues that blanketed Kara and Sefa's frame. For it didn't create a gap in the middle of them but rather casted a shadow of two connected people. Connected by anything and everything, but what people refused to call love.

He could only smile, for their joined hands in the middle of them deserved no less, but much more than they were allowed.

But he couldn't argue. And they couldn't get any more, but take what they could grasp. Even if it was less than straws, but clawing at the dirt. As grains of dirt made something then nothing at all.

And if a painting would never catch the moment, he hoped his memory sufficed. Holding what it meant in the emptiness of that field with no human being to witness it. Even if people would soon tell the tale differently and hide what it truly was.

He turned back around. Running off to join Daegal, who never would see secreted love that wasn't caused by title or magic. But if only Mordred knew himself what would have happened when he had first muttered a word to the other boy.