#bbaeka

[unsent]: this may seem crazy, seeing as we don't know each other outside of bisous, but i really like you. like i cannot stop thinking of you and this has barely happened to me before and i just i don't know what to do.[unsent]: would you like to go out to coffee sometime? my treat.[unsent]: i want to get to know you more.[unsent]: you know, the other day when you made that remark about paying me to play for you since you think that's the only way i would do anything really hurt me, you know. i have feelings too you know, but what? do you only see me as some cheap stripper? i'm more than that. i have feelings. yet all you seem to do is step all over them.[unsent]: i want to fall out of love with you.

pre-breakup

[unsent]: why did you give me a chance? you never do anything unnecessary and i’m nobody compared to you .. so why me?[unsent]: so i sort of took a picture of you smiling while you were asleep. i’m not gonna send it but you look beautiful. i hope you’ll smile for me on your own someday, my love[unsent]: everyone else keeps saying we shouldn’t be together. and a lot of the time, you seem like you just tolerate me. … i’m scared you might agree with them.[unsent]: i saw an old couple today. i kinda wish we’d be like that, but i know we won’t live that long. even i think i sound silly now „[unsent]: you think you’re impossible to love, but when i look at you, i can’t find any reason why i wouldn’t. 

[sent]: before you, i catered to others rather than myself. but you’re the first choice i’ve made on my own. and i want this. i want us so badly. i’ll stay as long as you love me.

post-breakup

[unsent]: it h hurts. i c na’t see you with some oneelse and sitll be okay , „„ [unsent]: everything feels cold without you. it’s even worse near you.[unsent]: i want to avoid you. you are the best and worst mistake i’ve ever made. and i’ll always make that mistake it seems because i’m always around you[unsent]: i catch myself stealing glances at you when it seems like no one’s watching even when i’m with someone else. even when i know you’ll never look at me again.[unsent]: i love you. and i know you still love me too.

*crickets in the bg as i think about the lack of pairings we have*

[unsent]: you think you’re some kind of sinner that can’t be saved. get off your high horse, you’re just an angry brat.[unsent]: you push away everyone. you’re going to need more strength if you intend to try to do the same with me.[unsent]: if you ask who do i prefer as a student, i’ll have to say none of you. you’re all pretty pathetic, but i’m working to fix that.[unsent]: someday i will die, don’t you dare disappoint me and follow in my steps.[unsent]: puppies are loyal and loving, i can see why bester fell.

[unsent]: when are you gonna take me to vegas, so i can be a casino queen? i won’t get caught, you know?? if i do, you take my place in jail.[unsent]: ok i know you said wait on boys. but what if it’s a girl? nevermind lmao definitely not letting this be the topic for dinner [unsent]: i found your guns. i think i’m gonna take a few. might use `em on a few jerks at school.[unsent]: um stop threatening to tattle to mom about everything i’ve done wrong in life. what kind of terrible father are you[unsent]: mom told me about how you used to be, how you wanted to get revenge and kill someone… but … it’s good you didn’t. guess what i’m saying is i’m happy you’re with her, and we’re all together in one big sappy family. i’m happy you’re my father.

[unsent]: Do you remember the time when I was very young and I came to you with a romance problem? No I don't suppose [unsent]: You're being rather righteous, Nicol, and it's never suited you.[unsent]: Do I honestly make you proud? [unsent]: I wish mother was still[unsent]: I'm growing quite tired of your interference and petty judgments. Ila is beautiful and soulful, who cares if she's 

[unsent]: what the fuck are we[unsent]: i know i was gone a long time. don’t know if you give two shits but the war was hard on me. made it a point to get away after we got our victory. don’t know if it makes a difference but i thought of you sometimes. should’ve wrote you. should’ve but i didn’t god fuck this is [unsent]: can you get on with things if you’re going to kill me already because the suspense is horrible[unsent]: jesus when i look at you sometimes i forget who i am[unsent]: take care of yourself and stay alive, please

[unsent]: i fucked i fucke d up ifcuke d up so ba d fle ti'm so sorry [unsent]: if i died i hope you'd understand why i did what i did. i hope you'd forgive me[unsent]: ever wonder if being messed in the head runs in the family?[unsent]: i wish i could stop lying to you but my job's not finished yet. i'm afraid it won't ever [unsent]: why do you always say nonsense to me in german? i swear and so help me god i will sock you right in your teeth the next time you bad mouth me when i can't understand

[unsent]: how could ya lie to me about who i am all these years?[unsent]: i can't do this. why am i the demon? why not kei? it's not fair! if you knew that, why didn't you leave us?! at least then i wouldn't have to suffer with even trying to control these stupid powers![unsent]: vetis came again today, i... never mind deleting this. it's better that you don't know. i don't want ya to get hurt.[unsent]: if ricky isn't my friend, then is anyone really? or has everyone been lying to me?[unsent]: i need you.