#bayometa

please understand my vision of meta knight and bayonetta (brawl and wiiu champs) being doubles partners now

Meta Knight: You know what? Let’s give it a go. What’s the worst that could happen? Bayonetta: Humiliation, embarrassment, fire, explosions, collisions, tears, nudity and death.

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Meta Knight, talking about Bayonetta: WHAT THE FUCK I WAS ARGUING WITH THEM AND I SAID “OOH YOU WANNA KISS ME SO BAD” AND GUESS WHAT? THEY DID. THEY KISSED ME. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DO I DO.

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Meta Knight, to Bayonetta: You wanna fight? All right, let’s take this outside. The stars are so bright tonight and the moon looks so nice. Here, hold my hand—

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Bayonetta: We should be partners. 

Meta Knight: You mean like, partners in crime? 

Bayonetta: Yeah... that’s precisely what I meant.

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Bayonetta: My hands are cold. 

Meta Knight: Here, let me hold them. 

Bayonetta: My lips are cold too. 

Meta Knight: *covers Bayonetta's mouth with their hand*

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Bayonetta: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night? 

Meta Knight: It was autocorrect. 

Bayonetta: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."? 

Meta Knight: Yes.

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Meta Knight: Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers? 

Bayonetta: Peonies, why? 

Meta Knight:

Bayonetta: Were you going to get me flowers? 

Meta Knight:

Bayonetta: 

YOOOOOOO oh my god thank you so much! 😭🙏 i had to do a double-take to make sure i was really reading "bayometa", we're a fanbase of like 2.5 people so this made my day lol. here's basically everything i've posted around the place over the past few years! (2018-2025, in no particular order. you will probably be able to tell which are old lol)

IT WOULD BE MY ABSOLUTE PLEASURE ANON. let me just preface with some context lol, basically i translate the concept of brawl meta knight being a "broken" character IRL into him being the champion of the brawl "tournament season" in-universe. he held his title for about 6 years, until the wiiu tournament season began. growing so accustomed to winning and not being given much of a challenge or really any excitement at all, he got into a stale routine and wasn't enjoying smash like he used to. a slump (nerfed), if you will.

then bayonetta appeared. like meta knight in brawl before her, she entered the wiiu tournament absolutely busted. winning every match, stomping out the competition. she had heard of meta knight's past feats and was looking forward to getting matched with him, hoping he could provide the excitement she's been hankering for. but between his supposed rustiness and her very distracting flirting bantering, he did not manage to reclaim his title. it's what happened next that surprised him the most though: he realized he wasn't even thinking about reclaiming his title. the audience seemed to just disappear whenever he fought her, as if the only eyes he wanted on him were hers. she was the first person to make him break a sweat and get him trying his best again, and it was exhilarating.

bayonetta became the reigning champion of the 4th tournament season, and meta knight concurred. they developed a mutual respect for each other, and started meeting up even outside of battle. they made surprisingly fast friends and had a lot to talk about, from their origins and incentives to some surprisingly guarded secrets. neither would say it out loud, but they could tell they shared a similar softness in their hearts beneath the tough exterior…unrelated to the fact they both had a sweet tooth, and would frequently swap bloody rose lollipops and invincible candies like some kind of underground brokers.

the ultimate tournament season eventually rolled along, and it was time for a comeback. even if they weren't particularly high-rank fighters this time around, seeing the two past champions fighting together as doubles partners brought a lot of hype and revenue to the tournaments they entered. especially in the beginning, they were always getting interviewed, doing photo shoots and all sorts of things like that for press. although i headcanon they mostly enter ult tournaments as a team, bayonetta tends to still have the upper edge on meta knight, which keeps him humble lol.

GUYS GUYS I HAVE A BAYOMETA SCENARIO

so basically, Meta lives in dreamland, right? Mostly peaceful, kid-friendly, innocent. He may get a little bored here. Suddenly he meets Bayonetta through smash, gets to know her and all that jazz. She invites him over to her world for funsies.

and he goes absolutely fucking feral. Starts killing every angel he sees, murdering every affinity and decoration in sight, realizing that boredom was actually extreme bloodlust for a world he’s never seen.