#bawling.

madelaine petsch via instagram stories

ashton staring at his father's hishari mask feeling its leather make and remembering the failed ritual. ashton staring at the matron's mask feeling its cold porcelain and remembering the matron's ascension. the matron survived the rite because of love. his father did not. ashton must be inherently unlovable then but oh, what's new with that.

it was bliss. with a boy and a girl his age, in evereska. they were a couple. beautiful, tender. he thought them timid and dull before, but each took turns on their backs for him beneath the boughs of an ancient blueleaf. things ended in a sensual, soft, kissing puddle. oh, but, he cannot remember the encounter, so astarion jerks up his shoulders, smirks. invents something: “—dreadful. i didn’t even culminate.”